Trigger Warning

There is self-harm in this fic. Although it's only small, it is there so please don't read if that is triggering

Wooyoung's POV

I don't know when things started to change. Maybe I always had thoughts in the back of my mind, I just never paid much attention to them. I've definitely been paying attention to them now, especially since I've seen Atiny's comments that practically mirror my thoughts. I've always known I'm loud, that's just who I am and I thought people wouldn't care but I started to notice just how annoying I could be. I noticed the way Hongjoong would rub his temple whenever I was loud, probably giving him a headache when he's been working so hard for us. I see how Seonghwa winces at my tone but is too nice to tell me I'm too loud. How Yunho and Mingi look at each other when I go on my rants, as if complaining about me through their eyes. How Jongho would groan and leave the room, not coming back until later. How even Yeosang looked like I was bothering and annoying him but he still stayed and listened, bless his soul. The only person who doesn't really react, at least not in front of me was San. I know I'm annoying and loud and it hurts to think that I might be frustrating and upsetting the other's, especially when we already don't get much of a break. I never told any of the other's about what I was beginning to think, how I was beginning to feel and how much I was beginning to doubt my personality. It killed me to think I was stopping the other's from getting the relaxation they needed, just because I was too childish and loud. I know I should've talked to someone to try and either assure me that what I was thinking was wrong or to help me feel better and change what I was doing so I didn't feel as bad but I didn't and I think that's where is all went wrong. I knew I was probably becoming depressed. The thoughts just kept circling my mind and I couldn't stop it. Before long I was struggling to actually feel happy, I wore fake smiles so no one would notice. Dancing which used to be something I did for fun, became a chore for me, something I did because I had to not because I enjoyed it. I knew I was probably becoming depressed, I was showing some of the symptoms and I probably should have told someone but I couldn't. ATEEZ had become my life, the members my family and if anyone found out I was broken, I would probably be kicked out and I couldn't even bear the thought. Instead, I kept everything to myself but tried my best to make sure I didn't annoy the other's. I made sure to be more quiet, not being as loud and outgoing as I usually would be. I distanced myself a bit, not being as clingy with the other's so that I wouldn't bother them but it was weighing on me. I had become so used to being clingy with the boys that I felt tired now that I couldn't get any physical affection.

It was the end of another long and exhausting day, full of practicing and stopping myself from annoying the other's. I went to my bed and flopped down, too tired to get changed or do much really. I just wanted to lie down and not get up for years.

"Wooyoung?" I heard Yeosang's voice but I couldn't be bothered moving or opening my eyes.

"Hey, Young-ah. You ok," he asked and I heard the slight concern in his voice. I still couldn't find the energy to reply to him so I didn't. A few seconds later I felt a hand in my hair, brushing my sweaty bangs away from my forehead.

"Come on Wooyoung, look at me for a sec," he said. I slowly peeled my eyes open and looked over to see him kneeled by my bed and looking at me in concern. Great, I'm bothering him again.

"I'm ok, just tired," I whispered, closing my eyes again.

"I know you are but you really need to have a shower first, otherwise you'll wake up feeling sore and dirty tomorrow," he said, squeezing my shoulder softly. I mean it's true but I really don't want to, I don't want to get up.

"Youngie," he questioned, shaking me gently.

"Ok, ok, I'm getting up," I groaned, making him chuckle. I opened my eyes and took a breath before sitting up, blinking as I got a little dizzy but it passed quickly.

"Hurry up, you can have one before me since you're so tired," he said. I bit my lip, feeling bad that he had to wait for me but I kept quiet. I slowly stood over and walked towards our bathroom, my muscles kind of sore and my eyes slipping closed a few times. I stumbled slightly and quickly gripped onto the dresser close by.

"Wooyoung. Shit, you ok," Yeosang asked quickly as he rushed over and slipped an arm around my waist to keep me steady.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm ok," I said shaking my head slowly. I tried to continue to the bathroom, not wanting to bother Yeosang more than I already had but my legs gave out slightly. Thankfully, Yeosang was still there and tightened his grip around my waist to steady me.

"Is it really that bad? How much have you been working yourself lately. Have you been getting much rest," he asked as he helped me sit on the floor.

"I'm fine," I said shaking my head.

"You're exhausted buddy, you can hardly stand," he said, running his fingers through my hair once again.

"It's ok, I can shower," I said trying to get up once again but I just didn't have the energy. I groaned and tears of frustrations welled up in my arms.

"What's wrong Youngie," Yeosang asked me quickly.

"I'm sorry. I just, I can't. I can't move, I'm too tired," I admitted, burying my face in my hands as tears spilled over.

"Oh Young-ah. It's ok aegi," he said softly as he wrapped his arms around me. It was the first time I had had any sort of physical contact with someone for a while and it made me immediately lean into my best friend.

"I tell you what. You're clearly not feeling great right now and I don't feel comfortable letting you try to shower alone so why don't we take one together," he asked me. I sniffled and looked up at him in confusion. Sure, we've all ended up having to shower with someone at one point of another but Yeosang and I haven't showered together since we were trainees. We used to do it when one of us was too tired like this but it's been quite a while.

"Are you ok with that," he questioned me. I nodded and snuggled closer to him.

"Alright, come on," he said softly as he stood up, pulling me with him. I leaned heavily against him as he walked me into the bathroom, placing me down on top of the toilet. He left the bathroom for a few minutes before coming back with clothes for the two of us and closing and locking the door. He moved to the shower and turned it on, placing his hand under the water until it was warm enough.

"You want help getting undressed," he asked me gently as he knelt in front of me. I bit my lip nervously before nodding, not looking at him.

"Wooyoung look at me," he said and I finally looked up at him.

"What's wrong," he asked me.

"Nothing. I'm just tired remember," I shrugged.

"No, you're being really quiet and you keep avoiding looking at me," he pointed out.

"You understand I don't mind doing this right," he told me.

"Um, yeah," I said but I know Yeosang could hear the uncertainty in my voice.

"Youngie you're my best friend, hell, you're basically my brother. You've been working really hard, I don't mind looking after you ok," he said firmly.

"Ok," I said quietly. He helped me up and helped me get undressed before undressing himself. He stepped into the shower first before helping me in as well. I stumbled slightly but he held me steady and chuckled.

"You're like a baby deer learning to walk," he giggled. I whined in embarrassment and hid my face in his shoulder as he continued to giggle. I love hearing his giggles and pure happiness whenever he's free to just be himself. He gently guided me under the water and I just left my head on his shoulder, too tired to lift it back up.

"Do you want me to wash you love," he asked in a soft voice. I just hummed in agreement and he rubbed my neck gently.

"Just don't fall asleep on me ok," he said.

"I won't," I whispered.

"Do you want me to wash your hair as well," he asked me.

"Yes please," I replied.

"Alright, just relax and enjoy the pampering," he said, placing a soft kiss to the top of my head.

~~~~~

After our shower, which basically involved me doing nothing and Yeosang doing everything but surprisingly, he didn't seemed to mind. He was constantly assuring me that it was ok and he was happy to look after me and made sure to keep me updated as to what he was doing. It felt nice, really nice to be looked after and to have some physical contact and affection with someone. Once we were finished, Yeosang helped me out and dried me off with a towel, giving me a gentle head massage as he dried my hair. I was still awake enough to help Yeosang get me changed and he got dressed as well quickly.

"You feeling a bit better," he asked me as he helped me over to my bed.

"I mean I'm still tired but I don't feel dirty or tense I guess," I shrugged. He lifted up my bedsheets and I slipped under quickly.

"Do you want me to sleep here tonight," he asked suddenly, catching me completely off guard. Yeosang almost never offers to sleep beside someone because he isn't one for too much physical affection.

"Are you sure," I asked with wide eyes.

"Of course, I wouldn't ask if I wasn't. I'm not that cruel, I know how much sleeping next to you lifts your spirits," he said softly as he slipped in beside me. I found a small genuine smile slipping onto my face for the first time in a while as my best friend opened his arms for me. I slipped between his arms and snuggled into his side, resting my head on his chest.

"You get some rest ok love, you really need it," he said as my eyes were already slipping closed.

"Thanks Sangie, for everything," I whispered.

"Of course love, always," he replied quietly as he placed a kiss on my cheek. I smiled softly and felt myself slowly drift off in content.

~~~~~

It's been a week since that night and although I'm still not feeling great, I've been feeling a little better. I still don't really initiate contact with the other's but I stopped moving away from it and I let the other's initiate the contact. I'm not really sure if anyone really noticed the difference or if they just didn't want to bring attention to it. I started getting a bit louder again but I still held back and I was constantly checking the other's faces to make sure I wasn't bothering them too much. I don't know what's happening to Yeosang, it's like he was able to read my mind and somehow knew that something was wrong and was constantly encouraging me and keep an eye on me. It meant a lot to me that I had someone looking out for me and surprisingly I didn't feel like I was bothering him so much. Everything was going so well compared to the previous month which made the downfall hit a lot harder and completely blindside me. It's weird how the brain works, how no matter what you might want to think, you mind is it's on thing and it'll think whatever it wants...

"Alright, who is playing against me," Yunho asked with a grin. We were all piled up in the living room together on a rare day off although it was late afternoon now. I was cuddled up next to San who had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and I felt at ease, relaxed and content in my soulmates arms, just watching everyone play.

"I'm next," Mingi spoke up quickly, practically running to the spare controller and making everyone laugh.

"Don't lose Mingi," I said with a small giggle as I sat up slightly.

"Shh, let them play," San said, pulling me back down. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly and heard a small voice in the back of my head telling me to be quiet and stop being annoying but so I bit my lip and did as San asked. I watched the two boys play, everyone cheering on one person or the other.

"GO MINGI," I screamed, giggling and jumping up. I was a bit nervous at being so loud but when I caught Yeosang's eyes, he was smiling softly at me, as if I was the most precious thing in the room. I grinned in his direction and he smiled even wider in encouragement. Mingi's kart went over the edge and I groaned, along with Seonghwa and Jongho, flopping back next to San.

"Come on Mingi-ah," I said while Yunho cackled. The game continued and somehow, Mingi ended up pinning Yunho on the line, coming 1st.

"YASSS, IN YOUR FACE SANNIE," I yelled, poking the other's shoulder. He winced slightly and pouted, making my blood instantly run cold.

"Yah Jung Wooyoung, you're so loud and annoying sometimes," he groaned. NO. No, no, no. How could I be so stupid as to be so loud and obnoxious, so annoying when I knew I needed to be more quiet. I knew I couldn't just act like that because it would annoy someone but I got to comfortable and I annoyed San. San of all people. How could I be so stupid, such an idiot. I fought the urge to cry, disappointed in myself for annoying my soulmate. I was trying to avoid this but clearly I'm not good at anything, given how badly that turned out.

"I'm just going to go to the toilet," I said quietly, making sure not to be too loud before I stood up. San just pat me foot as I left and the other's continued on with the game. The minute I was out of sight of the other's, I rushed quickly to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Once the door was closed, the tears begun to finally fall. I gripped my hair angrily and sobbed harshly, dropping on to the sink with a thud. It hurt slightly but I didn't really care, it's not like it's gonna do much. It seemed like I was going into a downward spiral and quickly. It was one sentence, less than 10 words and it had all the progress of the last few weeks going away, if not making my mindset get worse than it was. I don't know what happen, I honestly can't explain it, one minute I was burying my face in my hands and the next I had a razor from our box of razors in my hand. I was confused but I walked over to the toilet, sitting down on it. I've never thought about self-harming. I don't really know what it's supposed to do but I've heard of people who do it. In a way, I guess I would deserve it if I was to do it. I've been upsetting my members for so long and I've even gone as far as to annoy Sannie to. I lifted my shorts up a bit before hovering the blade above my leg. I mean it won't kill me and maybe a little bit of pain would be a good thing. Before I could go back on what I was thinking, I pushed the tip down hard, feeling it pierce my skin and seeing drops of blood slowly drip on my thigh. That's as far as I got before the bathroom door opened suddenly and my head shot up to see Yeosang standing in the doorway and looking at me. Oh god, I'm screwed. Fuck...

Yeosang's POV

I've been keeping a pretty close eye on Wooyoung ever since I had to help him to just stand after practice. I made sure to keep his spirits up a bit more, sending him encouragement when he seemed to be doubting himself. I've noticed he's a lot quieter than usual but I'm not sure why that's the case so I'm trying to gently coax him into getting out of his shell a bit more and become who he used to be. That's why, when I finally noticed him becoming more comfortable during our games night together.

"I'm next," Mingi said after Yunho asked who would be his next challenger.

"Don't lose Mingi," Wooyoung giggled as he sat up a little to get better access to see. I smiled softly, seeing the small spark in his eyes that had been hard to find lately due to the amount of pressure we have all been under. I noticed San pull Wooyoung back down and whisper something to him, making the younger bite his lip and stay quiet. I frowned slightly but Wooyoung seemed fine so I continued watching the game.

"GO MINGI," Wooyoung screamed suddenly as he jumped up and giggled. I smiled fondly at him, seeing the pure happiness in his eyes, it truly was precious. I notice him seem to get slightly uneasy and his eyes looking around before meeting mine. I smiled softly at him and his eyes lit up slightly. He looked back to the screen just in time to see Mingi drive off the edge and he groaned before dropping back down next to San.

"Come on Mingi-ah," he said. The game continued and we all watched intently as Mingi steadily caught up to Yunho but the minute he pinned him on the finish line, Wooyoung yelled out happily.

"YASSS, IN YOUR FACE SANNIE," he yelled loudly. I chuckled at his childishness that I had missed seeing.

"Yah Jung Wooyoung, you're so loud and annoying sometimes," San said jokingly, smiling fondly at the younger. My stomach turned uncomfortably as I saw Wooyoung's face immediately drop and he went silent. The spark in his eyes vanished and his happiness vanished in an instant. The other's didn't seem to notice as they were already discussing who was going next but I definitely noticed.

"I'm just going to the toilet," Wooyoung said quietly before standing up and leaving. I sighed and dropped my head into my head, groaning slightly. He had been going so well, he seemed so much happier and more at ease but something about San's joke hit him hard and it's upset him.

"I'm playing against you Mingi Hyung," Jongho said happily. I looked towards where Wooyoung left and I bit my lip nervously. I wanted to give him some time to collect his thoughts but something was making me feel uneasy. I desperately wanted to go to my best friend but I gave it a few minutes before I followed him.

"I'll be back in a bit," I said but the other's hardly bat an eyelid. I walked down the hall and over to the bathroom where I knew Wooyoung would most likely be hiding in. I grabbed the door handle and swung open the door, not even stopping to consider what Wooyoung may be doing. I froze in shock though when I looked inside to see the usually bright and cheery boy sitting on the toilet with red, teary eyes and his shorts pulled up slightly as he had some sort of blade pressed into his skin and drawing blood. My throat closed up slightly and my heart stopped at the devastating sight of what my closest friend was doing. He looked up at me and his eyes went wide. I saw helplessness and fear in them and I realised just how scared and confused he was. Me yelling and scolding him right now is DEFINITELY not a good idea.

"Hey Youngie, you alright love," I said softly as I stepped inside and gently closed the door behind me.

"I-I," he stopped with a small whimper as his eyes welled up with tears, his hand still holding tightly to the blade.

"Oh baby, it's ok," I cooed softly as I slowly walked over to him. He didn't put up much resistance as I knelt in front of him and gently pulled the blade from his hand and discarded it to the side on the floor. My heart pounded in relief when I noticed that he hadn't really cut himself, only made one small incision that wasn't very deep.

"Hey, it's ok love, you're alright," I whispered as I cupped his cheek and wiped away his tears.

"M'sorry," he sniffled.

"It's ok," I said, giving him a reassuring smile and placing a small kiss to his nose. It isn't the best idea to be staying in the bathroom right now, I want to get him to the bedroom and make him feel more safe and comfortable so I can talk to him and try to see what's going on in his mind because this is clearly worse than I thought and I can't bear to see him in so much pain.

"Do you wanna lay down love? I'm feeling up for cuddles, especially yours," I said gently.

"You want to cuddle," he sniffled, eyebrows raised in a question.

"Yeah, are you ok with that," I asked, stroking his cheek affectionately. He leaned into my palm before hesitantly nodding.

"That's great Youngie," I said. I moved forwards and slipped my arms under his thighs to lift him up. He quickly wrapped his arms around my neck and I stood, waiting for him to get comfortable and rest his head on my chest. I walked over to the door and opened it before poking my head out to check and see if anyone was around. I don't want Wooyoung being crowded and overwhelmed right now. Once I was satisfied no one was there, I rushed out and into our bedroom, quickly closing the door behind us. I carried him all the way over to my bed and sat him down gently.

"Just wait here, I'm gonna clean this up real quick," I told him. He nodded mutely so I quickly rushed over to my first aid kit that I keep under my bed. I went back to Wooyoung and took our what I needed, quickly cleaning the little bit of blood before placing a band aid on the small cut. I made a last second decision to bend down and gently kiss the band aid. That pulled a small giggle out of the younger and I smiled softly. I quickly climbed onto the bed and pushed him back so he was laying down before laying down myself.

"S-Sangie," he said uncertainly.

"Yes Young-ah," I asked him.

"C-Can we do what we used to do. You know, when I got too stressed," he asked me. I know that he feels comfortable like that and I need him comfortable so he'll be able to talk.

"Sure, scoot over a bit," I told him. I propped up the pillows before leaning against them and opening my arms. He sat in front of me and leaned backwards so his back was against my chest and his head was leaning on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly and placed a soft kiss on the side of his head before resting mine against his. He grabbed my hands and wrapped them around his waist, not letting them go. I kissed his neck softly and he relaxed in my hold.

"Do you wanna talk about it," I asked him quietly. He tensed slightly but I quickly squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"I'm sorry Sang. I don't, I don't know what happened," he said.

"That's ok, I just wanna know what's got you so down lately love. Tell me what you've been thinking. I promise I'm not here to judge, I'm here to help you," I told him firmly.

"Are you sure," he asked me.

"Of course, I'm always here to listen and help you Wooyoung. Always," I replied.

"I think there's something wrong with me Sangie," he whispered.

"There's nothing wrong with you Wooyoung," I told him.

"Yes there is. I don't know what's going on with me. I'm just, I'm spiralling," he said, letting out a small sob.

"Shh, it's ok. Just talk to me, tell me what's been going on," I told him, moving my hand up to rub his chest softly.

"I just, I feel like such a burden lately. Everyone tries so hard and works so much, they deserve to rest. But they weren't getting it because I was too loud, too whiny, too annoying. Atiny were noticing it and then I noticed it. I noticed how everyone got annoyed and bothered whenever I was being really loud. Hongjoongie Hyung would get headaches, Seonghwa Hyung would wince, Mingi and Yunho looked at each other like they couldn't wait to get away from me, Jongho groaned and left the room and I could tell that even you were getting annoyed at me but you're too nice to say anything. I'm so sorry I'm so annoying," he said sadly. Is this what everything is about? He thinks he's annoying?

"Love, you never annoy me. I love hearing you talk and get excited over things, and so do the other's. You continuously acting how you do gives us a sense of relief. We know that no matter how hard it get's, we'll always have you being our energizer and keeping our spirits up high. I for one love just coming home and listening to you talking about whatever the hell you decide to talk about, it's refreshing. You don't have anything to be sorry for Wooyoungie, because you aren't annoying," I told him. To my surprise, he suddenly burst into tears and I quickly hugged him tighter.

"I-I tried so hard to stop and not be so annoying and loud b-but I got too comfortable. I w-was so stupid and I an-annoyed Sannie of all people," he sobbed. So it was what San said. He directly said Wooyoung was annoying, but he was joking and he clearly didn't actually care. I'm guessing Wooyoung didn't know that though, otherwise he wouldn't be so upset right now.

"Youngie, San wasn't annoyed. Not at all," I told him gently.

"Yes he was," Wooyoung said shaking his head.

"No he wasn't love, Sannie was only joking. He was actually smiling at you," I said softly. Wooyoung shook his head so I went to assure him more but I heard a bang that sounded like a door slam. Wooyoung jumped slightly and I rubbed my hand gently over his side. A few seconds later the door to our room slammed open, making the two of us quickly sit up but Wooyoung stayed close to me and I kept my arm around his waist. I was shocked to see San standing in the doorway with his chest heaving and a distraught look on his face. He quickly walks in and closes the door, sitting down on the bed and pulling Wooyoung on to his lap. The younger squeaked slightly but quickly clenched his hands in San's shirt. San cupped on of Wooyoung's cheeks and gently kiss the other one.

"Hey Youngie, were you the last one to use the bathroom," San asked softly.

"Y-Yeah, why," Wooyoung asked, confusion evident in his voice. San's eyes suddenly welled up with tears and he hugged Wooyoung tightly. I was just as confused as Wooyoung but then I noticed something shiny in San's hand. Shit, I took the blade off Wooyoung but I left it in the bathroom, in plain sight while there was blood on it. I jumped up quickly and rushed to the door, locking it quickly so no one else would walk in. The last thing we need is for everyone to walk in and freak out and then upset and embarrass Wooyoung. I heard small sniffles and I turned around to see Wooyoung crying in San's hold. I know he's probably very confused right now, especially because he was just telling me that he thought that he annoyed San. I rushed back to the bed and sat next to Wooyoung. The three of us really need to talk and make sure everyone understands what's going on so there isn't any miscommunications and no one jumps to conclusions.

"Youngie sit back, we need to talk," I told him. I quickly reached forwards and slipped the blade from San's hand. He looked at me in shock but I quickly shook my head. San went to pull away from Wooyoung but the younger whined and clutched desperately to him.

"Wooyoung, it's ok," I said softly. I gently coaxed him away from San so he was sitting between the two of us.

"Young-ah, can you explain to San what you just explained to me," I asked him. Wooyoung immediately looked at me with wide eyes and shook his head.

"Love, Sannie found this," I said with a soft sigh as I gently handed him the blade. His breathing hitched slightly and he froze. Maybe I could've told him that a little bit better...

San's POV

Wooyoung left to go to the toilet a while ago and still hasn't come back so I'm getting a bit lonely. It was now Hongjoong and Seonghwa playing against each other to see who was better. I was getting a little bit lonely without my other half curled up next to me and screaming at the screen so I decided to get up and go look for him. He said he was going to the bathroom so I'll look there, although that's one long toilet break even for Wooyoung. I knocked on the door but there was no answer so I opened the door and poke my head inside. There was no one in there which means he probably went to his room for a bit and I was going to leave and look there when I noticed something odd beside the toilet. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked over to the toilet bending down and gasping in shock at what I saw. It was a small blade from a razor, just laying on the floor and what made my heart stop, was the fact that there was blood on the sharp edge. It didn't take long to put two and two together. Who came here, what it is, the fact that there's blood and the fact that Wooyoung hasn't been his usual self lately. I grabbed the blade with shaky hands and my breathing quickened. How could I not realise how bad it was getting for Wooyoung. He's my soulmate, my other half, amicus ad aras, I'm supposed to be there for him. I need to find him right now. I rushed out of the bathroom and slammed the door closed, rushing down the halls to Wooyoung and Yeosang's room. I slammed the door open quickly, panic bubbling in my throat as I looked inside. I was thankful to see that Wooyoung seemed to be ok for now and was laying in Yeosang's arms but the two jumped up the minute I opened the door. I forgot Yeosang left earlier as well. I was breathing slightly heavily but I didn't care as I was more worried about Youngie. I moved over quickly and pulled Wooyoung into my lap as I sat down. He squeaked cutely and grabbed onto my shirt tightly as I cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss to his other one.

"Hey Youngie, were you the last one to use the bathroom," I asked, wanting to clarify it was him before I talked to him.

"Y-Yeah, why," he replied. Why? He just confirmed that it was him in that bathroom, which means it was him hurting himself. My eyes welled up with tears and I blinked quickly to keep them at bay as I pulled the younger boy closer to me and hugged him tightly. I was taken by surprise when a few seconds later, Yeosang jumped up and ran to the door, locking it before coming back. What's he doing?

"Youngie sit back, we need to talk," he said. At the same time he reached forwards and pulled the blade from my hand. I was confused as to what he was doing and looked up at him but he just shook his head at me. I guess he's going to explain it in a second. I tried to pull away from Wooyoung but he whined and grabbed a hold of me tightly. I was confused as to why he wouldn't move but Yeosang swiftly stepped in.

"Wooyoung, it's ok," he said gently. Wooyoung slowly let go of me and slipped out of my lap, sitting next to me instead.

"Young-ah, can you explain to San what you just explained to me," Yeosang asked him. Explain? Does Yeosang know what's going on with Wooyoung? Is that why he didn't freak out when he saw the blade?

"Love, Sannie found this," Yeosang said gently as he passed the blade to Wooyoung. I couldn't see his face because he was facing Yeosang but I could see the way Wooyoung tensed up. Oh god, is it really that bad? I bit my lip nervously as I watched the two.

"I-I didn't mean to," Wooyoung sniffled. It was one thing thinking he did it, then it being basically directly clarified that he did. The tears finally begun to fall and I let out a sob, covering my mouth with my hand as I cried. This is my little brother, the sweet, happy and childish boy I've known for over 4 years and he's hurting himself while none of us noticed and helped him. Wooyoung hugged Yeosang's arms and placed his head on his shoulder.

"Can you tell him Sang," he whispered but I still managed to hear. Yeosang turned to me and gave me a sympathetic look, briefly grabbing and squeezing my hand before he grabbed the bottom off Wooyoung's shorts and lifted them up to show me a band aid on his leg. I was confused. It's a band aid? Why would I want to look at a band aid? Yeosang peeled it back and I saw a small cut, although it's hardly a cut, more like a small I dunno dot.

"That's all he did. I'm not sure if he would've done more if I didn't walk in but I did and he didn't protest when I removed the blade," Yeosang told me.

"B-But why did you do it in the first place Youngie. Wh-What made you consider hurting yourself," I asked him, placing my hand on the youngest's ankle softly.

"He said he thinks he's annoying. He's been worrying that him being so loud and energetic annoys us and he doesn't like that, especially because we work so hard and deserve some rest. He's been trying to stay more quiet and do nothing to annoy us lately but he thinks he messed up bad earlier because he annoyed you of all people," Yeosang explained. What? Wooyoung thinks he's annoying us? He's annoying me? I thought back to what I said. I literally told him he was annoying but I was only joking. Clearly he didn't realise that though, given how upset he got and what he did. I felt guilty despite not knowing and I gently placed my hand on Wooyoung's shoulder.

"Youngie, can you look at me aegi," I asked softly. He turned to me and I opened my arms for him. He seemed a bit apprehensive but moved into my arms, relaxing and snuggling into my chest when I hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry Youngie, I didn't mean to upset you or make you think you're annoying. I was only joking when I said you were annoying, I didn't actually mean that aegi. I love you so much and I love your voice so much. I actually really missed hearing you be so carefree and happy because you've been very quiet for a while. I was just joking around Wooyoungie, I was so happy to hear you giggling and joking," I admitted. Wooyoung sniffled in my arms and hugged me tighter.

"Do you really mean that," he asked quietly.

"Of course I mean it. None of us find you annoying, you're our little energizer. Too be honest, you're kind of like a breath of fresh air. We all get so tired and uptight after long days but you always seem energetic and happy when we get back and it lifts our spirits. It's endearing not annoying," I said softly, running my fingers through his air.

"I'm so sorry Hyungie, I don't even know why I did it. I don't remember even grabbing it, I just thought I'd annoyed you and I deserved to be hurt. I hesitated and I wasn't thinking, I would've stopped and I promise I won't do it again," Wooyoung sobbed.

"Shh, it's ok, but you need to promise Sangie and I something ok," I said gently.

"What is it," he asked, looking up at me with red eyes. Yeosang shuffled closer and placed his hand softly on Wooyoung's back.

"I want you to promise that if you ever have thoughts like that again, you come to one of us. You're far too precious to be hurting so badly," I whispered, kissing his forehead delicately. He nodded quickly and I smiled softly.

"Thank you love," Yeosang said.

"C-Can we please cuddle," Wooyoung asked quietly.

"You wanna cuddle with both of us," I asked him.

"Yes please," he replied with a nod. Yeosang immediately got up and walked to the door, unlocking it and flicking off the light while Wooyoung and I lay down. He then padded back over and climbed over us to lay squished between Wooyoung and the wall. Wooyoung giggled at the tight fit and I smiled happily, thankful that he was already perking up slightly.

"Get some sleep Wooyoungie," I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Thank you Sannie, Sangie, for looking after me," Wooyoung said quietly.

"Of course Youngie, we'll always be here to help you," I replied.

"Hey, Wooyoung, can you please do me one last favour," Yeosang asked slowly.

"Yeah, what's up," Wooyoung asked.

"I know you said you don't know what happened and you won't do it again but you've clearly been feeling down lately and I was wondering if you would be open to seeing someone at least once just to make sure you're ok. I don't want you to think I think something is wrong with you because I don't and there isn't anything. I just want to make sure you're safe," Yeosang said. I was worried Wooyoung wouldn't take it well but he seemed to consider it.

"I don't want anyone knowing though, not even the other boys, please," Wooyoung said quietly.

"They don't have to know, as long as you aren't in trouble. I know someone who helped out at TXT, and with Taehyun, I can organise for you to see her on our next day off. Is that ok," Yeosang asked him.

"That's fine," Wooyoung replied.

"Ok. Get some sleep now Youngie. I love you very much," Yeosang said.

"Love you too Sangie," Wooyoung replied. I'm glad Yeosang asked that, I'd feel better knowing Wooyoung won't be a future danger to himself. I'm just happy everything is ok now. 

A/N

This was requested by @21_Kpopfangirl and I hope you enjoyed it

Thank you for all those who read this and I hope you liked it

I hope you're all doing alright and are staying safe!