disclaimer: angst, mentions of blood, starvation.

___

"She's been gone for so long."

Seonghwa was mumbling to the familiar therapist as everyone else was waiting their turn.

"I have this feeling," Yunho made circular motions above his stomach. "That I know she's okay. She's just lost out there - somewhere."

Their therapist nodded. "So you don't ever feel like the connection has died? You don't think she's dead?"

"We would know." Yeosang said. "We would."

The boys had been seeing their therapist for five months, starting the month after you disappeared into thin air. You were there one minute, then wiped off the face of the earth the next.

They weren't sure why, but they knew you were breathing.

"Do you guys go through old memories?" Their therapist asked.

Hongjoong nodded slowly, detached. "Every day."

"What was the last thing she said to you all, collectively?"

Mingi looked up nervously. "She said, "I don't want to be here anymore.'"

You sat in silence as the people around you did everything to change your appearance. They dyed your hair black and made the underside white, they gave you new clothes that didn't look anything like what you wore before, they made you wear different colored eye contacts, different accessories.

All while a fake version of yourself was being created in a lab, becoming who you used to be.

The barcode on your neck was shared between you and your clone. It acted as a sort of ID chip. When the barcode was scanned, it revealed who you were and what number was assigned to your clone. Apparently it made things easier.

"You're going back home tonight." Doctor Leon smiled. "Well, not home. You'll be completely alone and you're not allowed to talk to anyone that you used to know - not that it would matter, they wouldn't recognize you anyway. Your clone will go out with you, and she'll take your place, pick up where you left off six months ago. Thank you for doing business with us, Y/N."

"Why?"

Doctor Leon leaned down. "You said you didn't want to be here anymore. That gave us the perfect opportunity to make something to take your place and give you a new life. Aren't you grateful."

"No." Your chained hands were starting to shake. "I didn't ask for this."

"It doesn't matter, Y/N. It happened and there's nothing you can do about it."

You and your clone were dropped at a random spot in the city. She smiled and grabbed your hand.

"I can't wait to see my boys-"

"Don't touch me." You yanked your hand away from her and started walking away. "They're not your boys, you are me, therefore they're my boys. You can't replace me just because you have my DNA in your test tube veins."

"Gosh. Someone has a temper today."

You stopped and grabbed her lilac hoodie. It sickened you how much like you she was, before you were forced into a different personality.

"Leave me alone. Do your job and take my life from me, but I never want to see your face again."

You finally walked away from her and she didn't follow after you. You were told where to go - a brand new apartment complex with everything you would need, and you'd be living there for the rest of your life.

Or until someone realized what was happening.

Over the span of six months, you had changed in every category possible. You became less lively, less loving, you were ill - they took pint after pint of your blood to run tests and make your clone. You weren't the same Y/N, and maybe that was your cry for help. You wanted the boys back.

You didn't even get to say goodbye and now you were unrecognizable.

You and your clone walked past each other in the hallway on your first day back to your school. You watched her carefully, watched the boys carefully. They hadn't seen her yet, but they would.

It was up to them to realize that she wasn't you.

You could say something, but the chances of you getting killed as a consequence were unfortunately high.

You saw the boys round the corner and they immediately made eye contact with her. They looked so relieved, so incredibly happy to see her - thinking it was you. It made you numb to see how they hugged her, kissed her head.

"Where have you been, Y/N?" You heard Wooyoung ask.

Your clone smiled. "It's not important. I'm here now."

You shook your head and walked away from the scene. They didn't even look your way once.

When they did look at you, it was because you walked into the cafeteria during lunch, and everyone looked at you.

Yeosang felt a little pit open up in his stomach, so did San, so did Jongho.

"Have we met her before?" San asked.

"I don't think so." Yunho shrugged. "She does seem a bit familiar."

Your clone bit her tongue. Was their bond to you that good? Would they be able to tell? There was only one thing she could do to make sure you didn't take her place.

Kill you.

One thing that Doctor Leon forgot to tell you was the pain you felt when your clone did something. Since your clone wasn't human, she didn't feel any pain at all. Only you did.

They made her clumsy for whatever reason (you never were clumsy), and it seemed as if she was stubbing her toe on every piece of furniture in the apartment she was residing in.

"If I killed her, it would be excruciating for me." You thought.

Which was why they made that connection between the two of you. So you wouldn't try to kill her.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your much longer than before, brand new hair. You hated to say that you thought it was pretty on you.

"This is a dream," you mumbled. "No, a nightmare."

Did you saying that you didn't want to be here anymore really cause all of this chaos? You couldn't escape your head, you didn't want to be in your head anymore.

Doctor Leon said they were helping you, but they made everything worse. So. Much. Worse.

You lurched forward at a sharp, intense pain in your lower abdomen. What was your clone doing?

You stood up to try and walk the pain off, but of course that didn't help at all. What could you do to distract yourself?

Find the guys.

You grabbed the key to your apartment and a jacket, then you went on your walk. You hoped they would still live in the same nice house they had lived in six months prior, and you knew they did when you saw Mingi's matte grey Audi in the driveway.

Your heart rate picked up as you crossed the street and stood in front of the gate.

Were you nervous because you were scared they wouldn't believe you? If they didn't, you had one secret to get them to believe you, and only they knew about it.

You hit the ringer on the gate panel, and Hongjoong's voice rang around you. "Who is it?"

"It's Y/N." You shuddered. "I need to talk to everyone inside. Please."

The gate opened and you hurriedly walked up to their front door. It opened before you were on the front step, and you basically ran into their house.

Everyone was gathered in the living room and they were looking at you as if you were a stranger.

"You're not Y/N?" Seonghwa questioned. "You're that other girl."

You bit your lip to suppress a cry as you looked at Mingi. "You guys have to believe me."

"What is there to believe-"

"No, I want to hear." Yeosang cut Wooyoung off.

"I disappeared six months ago after I said I didn't want to be here anymore. I was abducted, and they made a clone of me-"

"I think you should get going-"

"Hongjoong, please." You pleaded.

The room got quiet at how desperate you sounded. Your whole body was shaking. You were scared.

"Do you remember when you painted my nails for me the day before I went missing? You painted them pink and white, alternating." You whispered. "They forced me to take it off when I got to their headquarters."

Hongjoong wasn't fully convinced, but he was listening.

"Yunho, you danced with me by the lake two hours before I went missing. We danced to Lay Back by VERIVERY, remember?"

He nodded. "I remember."

"Did you go home, change, put a wig on and decide to mess with us?" Seonghwa questioned. "How else would you know all that?"

"Because I'm Y/N, Hwa!" You raised your voice on accident. "This barcode on my neck, scan it."

Jongho pulled his phone out and held it up to your neck. Before the camera could scan it, his phone shut off. Everyone else tried, but the same thing happened.

"I need you to believe me." You begged. "They're going to kill me now because I said something. I'm in pain because I feel my clones pain. She's hurting herself to hurt me."

They looked around at each other. You could tell they didn't quite believe you.

"You just don't seem," San wrenched his hands together, trying to find the words. "Like our Y/N."

Tears built up in your eyes. You were losing hope.

"Because they changed everything about me so that this would happen. They starved me, they ran tests on me, they tortured me to get information." You told them. "Of course I'm not the same. They took every good thing about me and put it into my clone."

They still didn't believe you. You had one more trick up your sleeve.

"Okay," you wiped your eyes. "Jongho, you and I were in the bathroom brushing our teeth, and for some reason, you put your finger in my ear and you ended up cutting the inside of it. It scarred, and only the nine of us know about it. That's the only thing they didn't find, and that's the only thing I have left to prove to you."

Jongho slowly walked up to you and looked at your ear. He found the scar immediately - how couldn't he? He put it there.

"What if she's just saying that?" Seonghwa whispered. "What if she was told to say that?"

Mingi shook his head. "I believe her."

"Me too." Yunho added.

Someone grabbed your hand and you saw that it was Hongjoong. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

And then hugs. They engulfed you into the hugs that you had been longing for for six months. Except for Wooyoung and Seonghwa.

"What are you gonna do about the clone?" Wooyoung asked wearily.

"You still don't believe me."

He searched your eyes. "It's been six months since we saw Y/N, and honestly the last thing I expected was someone saying they got cloned."

"Someone?" You questioned. "Is it really that hard for you to say my name?"

Wooyoung stepped back, shaking his head just as the front door swung open. You looked over and saw your clone, and what happened next completely ruined you.

Wooyoung pushed you toward her, the one that was bloody from stabbing herself in order to cause you pain. The one that looked as if she had murdered four people, and you'd be her fifth.

"Y/N, this girl is saying she's you-"

"Wooyoung!" Mingi yelled. "Are you serious?"

Mingi grabbed your arm and pulled you back towards them, putting you behind his back.

"This isn't Y/N," Wooyoung pointed at you. "That is Y/N."

"You can't be serious right? Y/N wouldn't hurt herself like that, and she's proven that she's our Y/N. How can you still be unsure?"

"I'm unsure too." Seonghwa said. "It's hard to believe that she," he pointed at you, then at your clone. "Is Y/N."

"I'm Y/N, Seonghwa! I swear on everything. Please." You crumbled. "I just want my life back. I want my brothers back."

Your clone pushed the knife deeper into her own stomach, and you had to hold onto Mingi in order to stay up. Jongho suddenly went up to her and grabbed her ear, checking for that one identifying mark.

There was no scar.

He turned around and gave everyone a look, and even then, Wooyoung and Seonghwa were still unsure.

"It hasn't been very long, and look what you've done." Your clone stated. "Can't keep your mouth shut to save your life. Literally."

She stormed over to where you were standing and pulled you away from the boys. She threw you onto the ground and grabbed your face.

"Say what you want to your friends before you can't anymore."

You were shaking as you looked back at them, the boys you grew up with. The ones you loved with every fiber in your body.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't make you believe me." You whispered. "Don't miss me too much, okay?"

Yunho shook his head. "We believe you, Y/N. We do."

"Help me."

"Don't help her." Your clone growled. "Her life is mine now. She's not getting it back."

You clone reached into her bag that she had slung across her shoulder and pulled out a gun. An old revolver. She put it to your forehead and smiled darkly.

"It was good running with you."

And then a gunshot.

You woke up in your bedroom, and you saw that Wooyoung's hand was in yours. He must've stayed with you all night because he felt bad.

You pulled your hand out of his - you were angry. He woke up at the feeling and saw that you had your back turned to him.

"You're angry."

"Yeah, I'm angry." You turned on him. "We've been friends for the majority of our life and you doubt me? Am I one to make up stories, Wooyoung? My psychotic clone was standing in your living room and you pushed me toward her?!"

The noise attracted everyone's attention and they all gathered in your room.

"Look, I feel bad enough, okay? You're like my little sister, and I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd lose you again if I didn't make the right choice." Wooyoung confessed. "I'm so sorry that I did that to you."

Your voice was broken now. "I said things that only we know about, yet you still didn't believe me?"

Mingi walked over and pulled you into a hug, trying to set the situation aside. "Let's not fight right now, okay? Right now, we want to appreciate being with you. Actually being with our Y/N."

You got off of your bed and walked past everyone, being sure to make eye contact with Seonghwa who was also guilty of not believing you.

Yunho cooked breakfast for everyone, and you silently ate until you couldn't bear it anymore.

"I haven't eaten a real meal since I've been gone." You admitted. "They gave me broth everyday because of how many tests they were running on me."

They didn't respond, just looked at you. You cleared your throat nervously.

"What happened last night?"

"She almost killed you, but some guy with the last name Leon stopped her. Said "she wasn't supposed to become violent.", then dragged her out of the house." Hongjoong responded. "Hopefully they put her back in the test tube or something."

"Or killed her." You mumbled. "But then I would feel it."

They were quiet again. You figured it would never be the same between the nine of you again.

You were about to say something, but your left shoulder subconsciously jerked forward.

"What was that?" Yeosang asked.

It happened again, and you felt the tingling sensation of electric shocks run down your whole left arm. "They're shocking her."

San furrowed his eyebrows. "She's still alive?"

You nodded. "And running more tests."

"What does that mean?" Jongho asked.

"It means that they're not done with her yet." You said. "She'll be back."

And she was, waiting for you to fall into the trap she set up. Knowing that the boys always had your full attention, she pretended to be Jongho and told you to meet her at the rooftop of your apartment building. Doctor Leon told her not to do anything stupid when he let her back out of the lab, but what else was she good at? Nothing. She was only good at creating chaos.

She heard the door to the rooftop door open and looked over at you. She saw your expression change and she smirked to herself.

"I thought Doctor Leon put you back up?"

"I'm not an animal." Your clone bit. "I just wanted to show you something new I can do."

You were wary of going towards the edge of the roof, but she walked up to you and grabbed your arm with such strength that she probably could've thrown you off the building with no problem at all.

She began dragging you towards the edge and as hard as your heels were digging into the concrete, you should've been able to stop her.

"Doctor Leon has never had a failed experiment and you're not about to make me the first one, Y/N."

"You're insane." You mumbled as you tried not to look down. "You came from me. You're not even original, you're a copy."

"But I'm better. Your friends almost gave you up for me." She smiled.

She bent down, bringing you with her and held you against the border of the edge. "Wouldn't it be nice if I just killed you? I wouldn't even feel it, how unfair is that?"

"If I kill her, it'll be so excruciating." You thought again. "But so worth it."

"Kill me then." You managed to get out. "I'm ready to go."

Her eyebrows jumped in surprise. "You won't even say goodbye to your friends?"

One thing that Doctor Leon didn't give her was your full intelligence. You would never have fallen for this.

"No. Just throw me off. You won't have to worry about me anymore."

You saw her whole body relax, and you knew it was time. You put your feet on her stomach and kicked up with as much strength as you had, making her flip over and grab onto the edge of the rooftop.

"So clever," she growled. "But not clever enough."

Before she could climb back up, you stomped on her hand, despite the pain you were basically inflicting onto yourself. The action may not have hurt her, but it did make her grip more loose every time, and finally she fell.

You ran away from the edge, knowing that you were about to be in more pain than you ever have been in before.

She hit the ground and it felt as if all of the bones in your body broke, because technically, they did. You stayed on the ground, coughing, aching from the impact, and you hoped someone would find you - preferably one of the guys.

It felt like several hours had gone by before you heard voices coming up to the rooftop. You knew it was the guys.

"Y/N?" Wooyoung called.

They circled around you and Mingi furrowed his eyebrows as he looked for the scar in your ear, then sighed in relief once he found it. "We thought that was you on the ground down there."

"Technically, it is-"

Yeosang slapped the back of Seonghwa's head to get him to shut up, and he did.

"Did you push her off?" Hongjoong asked.

You nodded as Yunho started picking you up. "Tell me if it hurts."

"Everything hurts." You mumbled. "I think it'll go away soon."

As the nine of you headed back down to your apartment, San patted your head in the most gentle way he ever had before. "We're so glad our Y/N is truly home again."

_

a/n: a bit different from the usual, but i like the concept. initially, i was going to have a really sad ending, but then i thought "it's been a while, so i'll do a decent ending." i hope you enjoyed it, as i haven't written an imagine for this book in a while!

also, if you don't follow me or look at my message board, we have a sort of family name now. you guys are my roos now! (i love kangaroos lol)

anyway, i hope everyone is doing well. and if you would like to see some different concepts in this book, or for future books, please let me know here ->