2446 words

Yeosang glanced at the hall when footsteps came closer, padding on the wooden floor. He took a drag from the cigarette between his fingers and exhaled while watching Wooyoung take a snack bar from the fridge.

"I'm sad," Wooyoung sniffled. He shuffled to Yeosang's side and timidly hugged the olders waist in a gentle manner, resti g his chin on Yeosang's shoulder.

"Why?" Yeosang asked softly, rubbing Wooyoung's back and felt the sweat on his shirt.

"Nothing, just hold me for a bit. Be my baby," Wooyoung pleaded, sniffling as he clung tighter to Yeosang, seeking comfort in his warmth.

"Let's get you to bed, you need some more rest to clear your head," Yeosang suggested gently, his voice soothing as he wrapped his arms more securely around Wooyoung. He could feel the subtle tremor in his partner’s body, the weight of whatever was bothering him settling deep into his bones.

Wooyoung nodded slightly, his grip on Yeosang tightening as he buried his face into the older's shoulder. "Just a little longer… please," he murmured, his voice muffled. He was tired, both physically and emotionally, and the simplicity of Yeosang's presence was all he needed to forget, if only for a moment.

Feeling Wooyoung's warmth seep through his shirt, Yeosang couldn't help but smile, though worry tugged at his heart. "Okay, but let me get you a glass of water first. You’ve got to stay hydrated, Wooyoung. Maybe then you’ll feel better," he insisted, trying to inject a bit of practicality amidst the moment of tenderness.

Wooyoung reluctantly loosened his grip but kept his forehead pressed against Yeosang's shoulder, eyes fluttering closed as Yeosang stepped away. "Fine," he mumbled. "But hurry back."

Yeosang chuckled softly, moving towards the kitchen. He filled a glass with cool water, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. Wooyoung had been more emotional than usual lately, and it worried him. After pouring the water, he returned to find Wooyoung standing near the couch, still looking a bit lost.

“Here you go,” Yeosang said, handing him the glass. Wooyoung accepted it with shaky hands, taking a slow sip as his gaze drifted away.

“I don’t know why I’m feeling like this,” Wooyoung admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I should be happy, but everything just feels… overwhelming.”

Yeosang's heart ached for him. He stepped closer, standing a bit too close, but close enough that Wooyoung could feel his presence. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Just remember, you’re not alone in this.”

Wooyoung looked up, his eyes meeting Yeosang's as they searched for reassurance. Encouraged, Yeosang continued, “We can talk about it if you want, or we can just sit together in silence. Whatever will help you feel better.”

With a small, grateful smile, Wooyoung nodded. “Can we just… sit for a bit? I think I need that more than anything right now.”

“Of course,” Yeosang replied, leading Wooyoung to the couch where they snuggled up together, the late afternoon sunlight spilling gently through the window, creating a warm cocoon around them.

As they settled in, Wooyoung rested his head on Yeosang’s shoulder, finally allowing the tension in his body to ease as Yeosang's warmth enveloped him. In this moment, everything felt a little more manageable, and together, they embraced the quiet solace.

×

That night Wooyoung couldn't help with dinner like usual and ended up dropping a fork, a simple normal fork, and had a breakdown that took Yeosang over an hour to calm down.

"Baby, i don't want to be insensitive but do you think seeing a therapist will help?" Yeosang asked softly once Wooyoung calmed down enough to hear what he's saying.

"I don't need therapy, I'm fine. I'm not weak," Wooyoung whispered, tearing up again.

“Hey, hey,” Yeosang said gently, cupping Wooyoung's face in his hands, their foreheads almost touching. “It’s not about being weak. It’s about understanding what you’re feeling and finding ways to cope with it. Everyone has moments when they need a little extra help. It doesn’t make you any less strong.”

Wooyoung sniffled, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “But I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want anyone to think something is wrong with me,” he murmured, the shame of his earlier breakdown still sitting heavily on his shoulders.

“You’re not a burden to me,” Yeosang replied, his voice firm yet tender. “You’re my partner, and I want to be here for you. I want to help you through this, but I can't do it alone. Sometimes talking to someone who isn’t emotionally involved can offer a whole new perspective. It’s okay to seek help,” he reassured, his thumbs stroking Wooyoung’s cheeks gently.

Finally, Wooyoung took a shaky breath, letting the words settle in. “What if they don’t understand me?” he asked, his voice breaking once more.

Yeosang searched his partner’s eyes for understanding and softness. “Then we find someone who does. You deserve to feel okay, Wooyoung. You’re allowed to express your feelings and have bad days. It doesn’t make you less of yourself. It makes you human,” he said emphatically.

After a long pause, Wooyoung closed his eyes, squeezing out the tears that had lingered too long. “I just… I don’t want to feel this way anymore,” he confessed, his voice now a whisper.

“You don’t have to face it alone,” Yeosang reminded him with a nod, pulling Wooyoung closer. “We’ll figure it out together, I promise. And if therapy is the right step, I’ll be right there with you, every step of the way.”

Wooyoung opened his eyes again, meeting Yeosang's gaze. It was steady and calm, grounding him amidst the chaos in his mind. “You really mean that?” he asked, sounding both hopeful and vulnerable.

“Absolutely,” Yeosang replied, his heart swelling with affection for the younger man. “You matter to me, and I want to help you feel better. You’re not weak for needing support; you’re brave for acknowledging that you do.”

With a heavy breath, Wooyoung leaned into Yeosang’s embrace, allowing the warmth and comfort to wash over him. “Okay,” he finally murmured, the slightest hint of acceptance in his tone. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask,” Yeosang whispered, kissing the top of Wooyoung’s head. “Just know that whatever you choose, I’m here for you.”

As they stayed wrapped in each other's embrace, Wooyoung felt a flicker of hope. It was fragile but real, and for the first time in a while, he didn’t feel so alone in his struggle.

×

Yeosang’s voice trailed off as he stepped through the door, the usual warmth of home hitting him like a comforting wave. His heart sank at the sight of Wooyoung sitting on the couch, shoulders hunched and expression distant. The cheerful chatter he had imagined sharing with Wooyoung quickly dissipated, replaced by concern.

“Wooyoung, what’s wrong?” Yeosang repeated, moving closer, his footsteps light as if approaching a fragile object. He set his bag down and slid onto the couch beside Wooyoung, feeling the palpable tension in the air.

“I— I don’t know,” Wooyoung stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at Yeosang, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, an unmistakable sign of the storm brewing beneath his calm exterior.

“Did something happen today?” Yeosang asked, instinctively reaching out for Wooyoung’s hand. He gently intertwined their fingers, grounding both of them in the moment.

“I just feel… heavy,” Wooyoung admitted, glancing down as if ashamed of his feelings. “Like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can’t shake it off.”

Yeosang nodded, his heart aching for Wooyoung. “I understand. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. I’m here,” he reassured, giving Wooyoung’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Everyone keeps expecting me to be cheerful, and I can’t keep up with it,” Wooyoung continued, his voice trembling. “I’m scared of letting them down. Scared of being a disappointment.”

“You could never be a disappointment to me,” Yeosang said, leaning closer to look Wooyoung in the eyes. “But you don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself. It’s okay to admit when you’re struggling. You’re human, just like everyone else. You have your own feelings and it’s important to acknowledge them.”

“I know,” Wooyoung said, his voice wavering. “I just… I don’t know how to stop feeling like this. I don’t want to ruin things for anyone. I don’t want to ruin us.”

“Wooyoung,” Yeosang said softly, using his free hand to gently lift Wooyoung’s chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. “You could never ruin us. It’s not about being happy all the time; it’s about being authentic and expressing what you truly feel. I’m here to support you, no matter what that looks like.”

With a shaky breath, Wooyoung leaned into Yeosang’s chest, releasing the tension that had built throughout the day. The feeling of being embraced brought a flicker of comfort amidst the storm. “I’m just so tired, Yeosang,” he confessed, his voice muffled against the fabric of Yeosang’s shirt.

“I know. And it’s okay to be tired. How about we take a break? We don’t have to do anything right now. Just let yourself feel,” Yeosang suggested, holding Wooyoung closer.

Wooyoung nodded slowly, feeling the warmth of Yeosang enveloping him like a blanket. “Can you stay with me for a while?” he asked, vulnerability creeping into his voice.

“Always,” Yeosang replied, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of Wooyoung’s head. They settled into a comfortable silence, the world outside fading away as Wooyoung found solace in the presence of the one who loved him most. In that moment, amidst the heaviness, Wooyoung realized he didn’t have to fight this battle alone; he had someone by his side who would carry the weight with him, step by step.

×

Wooyoung's breakdowns got less over time, mostly Yeosang being the one to calm him down immediately but today Yeosang had to work extra hours and Wooyoung had to be alone in their apartment. So he decided to cook rice, rinsing the rice for a few times.

"But i don't want to... is this ok?" He talked to himself, looking for something when his emotions came flooding and he stopped in the middle of the kitchen. The sound of water splashing as he rinsed the rice fell silent, leaving only the muffled hum of the refrigerator and the distant sounds of the city beyond their apartment walls. Wooyoung’s hands trembled slightly as he held the rice in his palms, the grains contrasting sharply with the turmoil inside his mind.

“No, I can do this,” he muttered, shaking his head as if to dispel the shadows creeping in. Yet, the anxiety clawed at him, pulling him down into a familiar spiral he had worked so hard to escape. “I just have to make dinner. It’s simple, it’s fine…”

But inside, the reassuring lies began to crumble. Memories of the past weeks rushed back—his breakdowns, the moments when everything felt unbearable, and how Yeosang had been there every single time, soothing him to sleep or holding him tightly until the frantic beat of his heart slowed. The absence of Yeosang in that moment felt like a gaping hole.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he whispered to himself, his voice hitching as tears threatened to spill. The rice slipped through his fingers, scattering across the counter as Wooyoung fumbled. The frustration of making yet another mess became all-consuming. Clutching his head in his hands, he sank to the floor, unable to hold back the rising tide of emotions.

The sobs came unbidden, a choked sound escaping his lips as he buried his face into his knees. “Why can’t I just be okay?” he cried softly, the very question echoing back to him from the walls of their small kitchen.

Just then, his phone buzzed, vibrating from the kitchen counter where it had been resting. Wooyoung's heart raced as he hesitated, not wanting to reach for it but knowing he needed to distract himself. With a shaky breath, he lifted his head and dragged himself back up, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt before quickly glancing at the screen.

The notification was from Yeosang: **"Hey baby, I’m so sorry for the extra hours today. Are you okay? Just wanted to check in."**

A wave of warmth flickered in his chest, momentarily drowning out the heaviness that burdened him. But self-doubt crept in again—**What if he gets worried? What if I’m not okay?** Tentatively, he responded: **"Just trying to make dinner. A bit overwhelming."**

Almost immediately, Yeosang replied: **"Take a deep breath. You don’t have to push yourself. I’ll be home soon. Just hang in there for me, okay?"**

Wooyoung felt the tears welling up again, but this time, they were tinged with something softer. He brushed the tears away, allowing himself to lean against the counter for support. “Okay,” he whispered to the empty kitchen, feeling the pull of Yeosang’s familiar words even through the screen. The love resonated like a lifeline, reminding him he wasn’t really alone.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to step away from the chaos for a moment. He made his way to the living room, sinking down on the couch, his phone still clutched tightly in his hand. As he waited, he focused on the sounds around him—the soft hum of the city, the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall, each second pulling him closer to Yeosang’s return.

When Yeosang finally walked through the door, the weight of the day still pressed on his shoulders, but he quickly spotted Wooyoung’s tear-streaked face. “Wooyoung!” he gasped, rushing to his side.

“I’m so sorry,” Wooyoung blurted out, his voice cracking. “I tried to cook, but I just—”

“Hey,” Yeosang interrupted softly, kneeling in front of him and taking both his hands in his. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re doing your best.”

“I didn’t want to bother you…," Wooyoung admitted, squeezing Yeosang's hands tightly, seeking comfort in their connection.

Yeosang shook his head firmly. “You could never be a bother. I love you, and I’d much rather you reach out than go through this alone. Let’s figure this out together, okay?”

Feeling the warmth of Yeosang’s presence soothe away the remnants of his panic, Wooyoung nodded, allowing himself to lean into the embrace that felt like home.  

In that moment, as they sat together on the couch, Wooyoung realized that it was okay to ask for help, that vulnerability could coexist with strength, and that love made even the heaviest days a little lighter.