"Hinding-hindi magiging mali ang magmahal. Mahal na mahal kita, aking binibini."

Isa. His words, the first I ever cherished. H is love made me feel like the happiest woman alive. When I was with him, I knew I was free. I felt validated, as if no cage could hold me.

"Every time I hear your voice, it makes me feel alive. Can you sing for me again, my love?"

Pangalawa. When the universe tricked me into believing that the two of us would have a chance to be happy.

"Darling, I was bound to protect you. Always remember that-I will protect you."

Pangatlo. How he showed me that I was worth loving, even when everything seemed to fall apart.

"Don't cry. We'll make it work again. I will come back for you, mahal."

Pang-apat. A chance at love again, even after all the failures of the past.

"Tama na! Ayoko na! Maawa ka sa sarili mo! Maawa ka sakin! Pakiusap!"

Pang-lima. The time I chose to walk away, only for fate to pull us back together once more.

At ang pang anim...

I open my eyes, and just like that, tears fall down my cheeks. A never-ending nightmare. Iba't-ibang trahedya. Paulit-ulit binabalik sakin ang mga ala-ala na gusto ko ng kalimutan.

"Ano na nangyari sayo?" Napabalik ako sa relidad nang maramdaman ang malakas na hampas sa balikat ko ni-oh it's Nicole. "Nagbabasa lang ako." Pagdadahilan ko at sinara ang lumang libro na nahanap ko sa library ng paaralan. "Ang luma naman ng binabasa mo? Parang panahon pa ata espanyol yan." Pag o-obserba niya sa libro na hawak, I just smiled at her at marahan na umiling.

"This book is made by Ashley Camillia Montermayor. Hindi ka nakikinig nasa philo class natin 'to kahapon." Nakita ko ang pagsimangot niya, tiningnan ko na lang siya na kunin ang malaking libro.

"Oh? May apat na author oh? Spanish colonization Montermayor, during American period Sevilla, Tanaka on Japanese colonization, tas yung huli Arenas nung martial law?" She looked amazed while reading the authors. Sa pagkakaalam ko the history of that book, pinag pasa pasahan at tinuloy sa bawat period. That book is already existing from 1800's to 1970.

"Let's go to our next class, 'Ni." I pulled her out of the library, seeing how reluctant she was to leave the book behind.

"Ashley! Bat ba nagmamadali ka? Hayop na babae 'to!" I rolled my eyes when I heard her complaints again. Nang makarating kami sa klase saktong kakarating lang din ni Prof Reyes.

This class was metaphysics-perfect! I love metaphysics. When Professor coughed, I knew class was about to start. I watched as he wrote "Reincarnation" on the board. I sighed quietly. This was going to be boring.

"Reincarnation suggests that after death, the soul could be reborn in a new body."

Everyone listened intently, but I couldn't help the discomfort creeping in. Before I used to be curious about that, pero ngayon nangangasim akong pakinggan ang bagay na yan.

"But what if we could remember our past lives? Could fragments of those lives resurface?"

I heard 'Ni's giggles at my side, "na i-imagine ko Ash, what if isa akong prinsesa rati diba? Sana maalala ko past life ko." I rolled my eyes hearing her fasntazing about remembering her past life, "malay mo palaka ka pala nung past life mo." When I said those nakita kong tumahimik na siya. What's fun about remembering your past life? What if puro sakit lang naman dulot no'n diba? Mas okay na yung walang maalala.

"Isn't it hard to prove that we remember past lives?"

One of my classmate asked prof, I heard prof's laugh then he turns his gaze to us with serious expression.

"That's the question. Philosophers like Locke argue that personal identity is tied to memory. If we remember a past life, does that make us the same person? Or are we someone new?"

I just take notes what he is saying, baka lumabas pa sa quiz. But thinking about what he said, I believe the reason why we reincarnated again to became a new person. Sino bang gustong hindi magbago? What if you were a frog in your past life and came back as one again? That would suck. But what would suck even more was if you kept coming back, stuck in the same cycle, doomed to repeat your past over and over again.

I raised my hand and caught the professor's eye. "So you mean reincarnation is more than just a belief-it could be real?"

"Maybe. Some believe our actions in past lives influence the next. Others think we live new lives without remembering. Imagine if you could recall a past life-how would it change you now?"

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. I quickly packed up, eager to leave the heavy thoughts behind. Agad na kaming pumunta ni 'Ni sa cafeteria to order our food. I just ordered a usual just a cup of iced coffee.

"Ash, what do you think about prof said? Mas prefer mo ba maalala past life mo?" Gosh is she really bringing back that topic? But instead of ignoring her I just answer her nonsense question.

"Sometimes it's better na lang to focus on the present. No need to dig up old stuff if it's just gonna make everything more complicated." Napanguso ako nang makitang mahinang pagpalakpak ni 'Ni na parang hangang-hanga sakin. We just continue eating na lang then talks about our next subject.

Nang matapos ako inomom ay napansin ko si Nicole na parang aligaga. She's pacing back and forth habang kausap ang kung sino man sa phone niya. When she ended the call, her eyes darted towards me. She looked helpless, desperate even.

"Ashley, beh ko, bff naman tayo, diba?" she asked, her tone pleading. I raised an eyebrow, half-amused pero nagtataka rin. Slowly, I nodded. We've been friends since first year. I guess you could call us best friends.

"Yes, we are." I replied habang ngumunguya pa.

"You know my boyfriend, right?" tanong niya bigla. I stared at her, letting her words sink in. Memories of her endless kwentos about him flashed in my mind, pero ironically, I've never actually met him in person. Mapait akong ngumiti.

"Yes, pero you know na I've never met him," I said matter-of-factly.

Nicole sighed and bit her lip. "We've been together for three years now," she started, her voice soft but filled with pride. "And... alam mo namang importanteng tao siya sa buhay ko."

I nodded silently, though my chest felt tight. Ever since second year, when they officially got together, Nicole's stories about him had been relentless. But I always found ways to avoid meeting him.

It wasn't just coincidence. I'd seen him a few times from afar-his smile too familiar, his presence too heavy for reasons I didn't want to confront. Kaya naman, every time Nicole tried to introduce us, I made sure it didn't happen.

But now, her next words caught me completely off-guard.

"Ikaw muna ang pumalit sakin sa date namin?" she blurted out, desperation dripping from her voice.

"What?" I almost choked on my food, my fork clattering against the plate.

Nicole leaned closer, clasping her hands together like she was begging. "Please, Ashley. May emergency kasi sa bahay. And this is your chance na rin to meet him. You're both important to me, and... I trust you."

I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Are you insane?" madiin kong tanong. "Parang nirereto mo ako sa boyfriend mo!"

She shook her head, a sad smile forming on her lips. "No, Ashley. I trust you, and I trust him. Alam kong hindi ka gagawa ng masama."

I wanted to snap at her, to remind her of how ridiculous her request sounded. But the way she looked at me-with so much faith and desperation-made the words die in my throat.

"Sayang kasi," she added, her voice trembling. "Na-reserve na yung lugar, and bayad na rin. It's just one night. Please?"

I looked at her, studying her tear-filled eyes. For years, I'd been running away from this moment, from him. And now, I had no choice.

Napabuntong-hininga ako, my hands trembling slightly as I pushed my plate away. "Fine," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Nicole's face lit up, but I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. Deep down, I knew agreeing to this would change everything.

Pagkapasok ko pa lang sa restaurant, ramdam ko agad ang bigat ng ambiance-burgis na burgis. The chandeliers sparkled, the tables were neatly set with white cloth, and the faint aroma of expensive wine filled the air. I couldn't help but feel out of place. Nang lumapit ang waiter sa akin, I simply mentioned the name "Mr. Soler." Tumango siya at dinala ako sa isang upuan near the stage.

I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the soft melody of the piano and violin fill my ears. The classic charm of the restaurant was undeniable. Napangiti ako ng bahagya-burgis nga talaga ang jowa ni Nicole.

For five minutes, I just sat there, letting the music calm my nerves. My phone buzzed, breaking the serene moment. It was a message from 'Ni.'

"Thank you, beh! Libre na lang kita bukas."

Mahina akong natawa habang binabasa iyon. Typical Nicole, using bribery to get her way. Pero naiinis ako. How could this man be late on a date? Para namang hindi lalaki ang burgis na 'yon.

"Ma'am? Can I invite you to sing for us?"

Nagulat ako sa biglaang paglapit ng violist. He was smiling warmly, pero naramdaman ko ang slight hesitation ko.

"Mukha ba akong singer, kuya?" tanong ko, trying to deflect the awkwardness.

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were her," he said, his smile widening.

Napakunot-noo ako. "Sino?"

"Ms. Sevilla," sagot niya. The mention of the famous singer from the 1900s caught me off guard. My smile faded slightly. Napaka-bolero naman nitong si kuya.

I sighed, eventually giving in. "Fine. Maybe this will distract me," bulong ko sa sarili habang tinatanggap ang mic.

When the music began, I closed my eyes, letting the melody wrap around me. Slowly, I began to sing:

"Well, I can't give you anything but love, baby.
That's the only thing I've plenty of, baby."

Napangiti ako when the room turned to look at me, their attention focused on my voice. The moment felt surreal. Mas inayos ko ang boses ko, letting it carry through the room.

Then, I noticed him.

At the far end of the room, there he was-a man with an intense gaze that sent shivers down my spine. His eyes locked onto mine, and I felt a bittersweet smile tugging at my lips. His stare softened, like he was lost in the song.

"You dream awhile and you scheme awhile
You're sure to find happiness
And I guess all the things you think are fine."

As I sang, a familiar heaviness settled in my chest. Memories flickered in the back of my mind-faint, fragmented, but enough to stir something deep inside me.

Suddenly some things flash on my mind, but not in this modern setting. He was dressed differently-in old-fashioned clothes, his face lit by the glow of a gas lamp. We were laughing, holding hands, and dancing to this very song. His voice whispered softly in my ear, "My love, you know how much I love that song."

My breath hitched, and I faltered slightly on the next note. The memory faded as quickly as it had appeared, leaving me disoriented but determined to keep singing.

I looked at him again, and his reaction mirrored my own. Nakita ko kung paano dumaan ang gulat sa mukha niya habang nakatingin siya sa akin. My throat tightened as his words echoed once more in my mind:

"My love, you know how much I love when you are singing."

Napalunok ako, trying to keep my composure. His eyes closed as I sang, as if the song was pulling him into a place he once called home.

And just like before, I knew-this song was still his safe place.

But now, it wasn't just the song. It was him. It was us. And it terrified me.