Authors note- Please enjoy and accept this long chapter as my formal apology for any heartbreak caused

I love you guys and knowing how much support this story brings in, makes me feel so special. I always thought like maybe 10 people would see it but oh my god, there's almost 20K of you. I love you and I see you. Thank you for your never ending support even though I chose violence sometimes

It took Charlotte two weeks to come out of the guest bedroom. She wouldn't really talk to anyone though and it was clear she was stuck in her head. Mia tried not to feel resentment towards her because she could only imagine the tool it has on her mental health. Mia wanted to talk with Charlotte and help her work through it but anything further than a good morning was impossible.

She worried if Charlotte missed her sleeping in the same bed as her at night. She had at least come into the living room for the day but wouldn't sleep with Mia anymore. She missed her for sure. She was getting worried about what would happen if they didn't talk soon. She was beginning to lose her patience because she had lost their children too, not just Charlotte and she herself was falling apart. She found herself most days sat in the office with Reese crying her eyes out, begging for any sort of advice of what to do. But no one knew what to do and she just had to wait.

After a particularly hard day, she came home to find that Charlotte's car wasn't at the house. Hm, she wonders if she actually got out of bed and went to work. She found Renee and Ellie at the dinner table feeding themselves.

"Hi Ren," She gave her a hug,"Hi Ellie. Where's mom? She texted me she was going to pick you up from school so I could stay late at the nursery."

"She said she wanted to go out for a drink or something. I tried to tell her to stay and hang out with us but she said she had things to do."

The color drained from Mia's face,"She's been out drinking for the last 3 hours?"

She grabbed her coat,"Girls I love you and I'll be back." She rushed out the door, anger was all she could feel.

She couldn't make sense of her actions until she spotted a half asleep Charlotte soaked from the rain. She had pulled her knees into her chest and was going in and out of consciousness. She was so wasted out of her mind that she hadn't realized who Mia was as she walked up to her.

"What the fuck are you doing?"
She spat, she was so upset with Charlotte. "You left our two daughters alone so you could fucking drink?!"

Charlotte's eyes opened and she saw Mia, she couldn't really think to process what she said. She was just happy to see her. She was so afraid to talk to her because she thought she was mad at her. She couldn't face her because in her mind, she killed the babies and how could anyone ever love her after that?

She was shivering because of how soaked from the rain she was and there was a look of relief on her face at the sight of Mia. But Mia was so angry she didn't even stop to calm herself, she continued to yell.

"Charlotte, you won't fucking talk to me but you'll get wasted?" Mia rolled her eyes,"How is this marriage suppose to work when you won't fucking talk to me?"

"Mia-" She started, but stopped as Mia continued on.

"You're not the only one hurt, Charlotte. They were my babies too."
Her eyes were full of tears,"I've been falling apart not just because my babies were lost but my wife won't even talk to me or sleep in the same bed as me. Don't you see something wrong with that?" 

She looked to Charlotte but realized this was never getting anywhere. "Get up. You're riding in the back seat because I honestly don't want to see your face."

Charlotte's heart stopped when Mia said that, it was sobering but she was terrified. She just listened and sat in the back on the way home. It was eerily silent. Tears stung her eyes as she realized that Mia probably did hate her after what happened to the twins and nothing would ever be the same. She began to wonder when the next time she would feel loved would be and she hoped it was soon.

In the driveway, they sat for a moment and Mia looked back at her. "Charlotte, I love you but I don't even know you are right now." Her voice was shaky and the anger had been replaced with sadness and grief. She wanted nothing more to work this out and try again with Charlotte. But she wasn't sure if Char felt the same.

"I love you too." Charlotte whispered after Mia had left the car. Her mind was hazy as she began to realize the weight of what she had been doing. The loss of the twins had been debilitating and she hadn't even thought about how Mia must feel. She began to cry in the car, wondering if she should even go inside. She knew everyone in the house hated her. She was fucking up their family and there was no one else to blame.

She finally stumbled her way into the house, walking into their shared bedroom for the first time in a month. She felt a sense of security, but also nauseated at the idea of Mia not sleeping all this time. She had found her outside the guest bedroom one night, passed out next to the dinner she had brought Charlotte. She knew Mia must've been barely sleeping with all of everything that had happened. Mia had been trying so hard to communicate with Charlotte and comfort her, and all she did was push her away.

But all Charlotte wanted was Mia right now. She was shaky as she undressed herself for the first time in years. Even when they weren't speaking, Mia would undress her to make her comfortable. She felt so empty. She finally understood why Nick would beat her. She did deserve it. She was the monster all along. Staring at herself in the mirror, she held her stomach and imagined how she would look if she had been carrying the twins. She hated herself for losing them and hated herself and how she had been acting.

She climbed into the shower, but hasn't turned on the water yet. She heard the bathroom door open and close, Mia had come in. All of a sudden she had so much to say, but wasn't sure how.

Mia stood, unsure of what to do moving forward but wanted to give Charlotte a chance to speak. She had been harsh at the bar and she was regretful. She turned on the warm water for Charlotte, a way of saying "I still love you."
She watched as her rain soaked body was shaking.

"Do you hate me?" Charlotte's voice was barely above a whisper.

"What?" Mia had to make sure she heard right.

"Do you h-hate me for losing the twins?"

"Sweetheart, I could never hate you."

Mia took off her shirt and pants, stepping into the shower with Charlotte. She just wanted to hold her but Charlotte had to let her in and give her the control.

Charlotte flinched a moment, at the contact of Mia's body against hers. She backed up,"N-no, I don't deserve it." A sob heaved through her chest as Mia pulled her into her chest anyways.

"You always deserve my love." Mia whispered, "I'll still see it until I die, that you're the love of my life, sweetheart."

"H-how could you ever love me after what I did?"

Confusion was clear in Mia's face, "You didn't do anything, Charlotte."

"I killed our babies."

If Mia hadn't been holding her, she would've collapsed to her knees. The difference between tears and the shower was unclear, but Charlotte's face was flooded with both.

"Charlotte." Mia's voice was soft, she pulled her face to look up at her." Our babies didn't make it because it wasn't the right timing. There wasn't anything you could've done differently to save them. "

"You mean that I didn't-" Her voice faltered, she couldn't stop hyperventilating,"kill them?"

"No baby, you didn't kill them." Mia grabbed the shampoo and began to wash Charlotte's hair for her. "You were the best mom you could be and they loved you, Char. They'll be waiting for us in death."

"And you don't hate me?"

"I never have and never will." She continued to scrub Charlotte's scalp as an attempt of comforting her and stopping the tears. "I love you, Sweetheart."

"I-I love you, Mia." She looked up at her, a smile on her face for the first time since the Drs office. She glanced at her lips, unsure if Mia would want to kiss her and was quickly corrected when Mia leaned in first.

The kiss was soft as they became reacquainted with each other's mouths. She wrapped her arms around Mia's waist as she felt fingers snaking into her hair. Apprehension was beginning to pool in Mia's stomach as she could feel Charlotte getting a little feisty.
She was scared to hurt her, she knew how fragile she was.

"Baby, I don't want to hurt you." She kissed her on the cheek. "I think we just need to talk.

She finished rinsing out Charlotte's hair and washed her body. She put the jumper she had been wearing onto her sweetheart and carried her to their bed. They were holding their breath, waiting for the other to start speaking.

"Can I lay on your chest?" Charlotte asked shyly, a blush on her cheeks.

"Of course, sweetheart." Mia guided her on her chest, but made sure to pull Charlotte into a kiss. "Ah, much better now. " Running her fingers through her hair, she stared into her eyes.

"I missed you so much." Charlotte admitted,"I was so afraid that you hated me.." She looked down at her hands.

"Charlotte, you are the love of my life. I will never hate you for any reason."

"I know... but I was so afraid."

"I know sweet girl, it's okay." Mia shushed her, running her hand down Chad's stomach and resting between her legs. "I missed you too. I missed you here in this bed with me, I missed your kisses, and I missed this sweet pussy."

Charlotte's breath caught in her throat,"R-really?"

"Yes.. But I don't want to rush you, my love."

She began to trail kisses down her neck, toying with the waistband of Char's panties. She snapped against her skin pulling a moan from the back of her throat.

"I don't want to wait a moment longer." She rasped out,"Please... I just want to be yours again."

At the confirmation, Mia sunk her teeth into the side of Charlotte's neck before licking over it to soothe the wound. She had missed Charlotte's moans in her ear so much.

"Are you going to let me in?" Mia asked, pulling Charlotte's thighs apart," Let me in baby, come on." She cooed.

Her fingers slid past her panties with ease and she paid special attention to her clit as she used her other hand to hold her legs open. Charlotte had been so touch starved for the last several months. She was really freaked out after they had done the insemination so this was the most they had touched each other in months.

"Mia..." She whimpered,"Please I need you." Her eyes were closed as she threw her head back against Mia. Her mouth agape at the feeling of Mia's fingers stretching her, it was soft and gentle but felt so good. "Oh fuck!"

"Do you want to be mine again, Charlotte?" Mia made sure to punctuate each word with a thrust of her fingers deep inside of her. "Are you going to let me claim this pussy, hm?"

"Yes!" Charlotte cried out, her legs were shaking against the bed. Something was churning inside of her and she felt like this was not just an orgasm building up, but she felt very emotional all of a sudden. Tears welled up in her eyes and she weeped as Mia claimed her again.

When Mia noticed her tears, she very slowly slid out her fingers. "Sweetheart? What's wrong? Do you want me to stop?"

"No." She whispered,"I never want to feel like I'm not yours again."

"You will always be mine, Charlotte." She chuckled, shaking her head before flipping them over and trailing kisses from her shoulders, down her stomach and finally meeting her pussy. "Let me prove it to you, sweet girl.