Dawn 50 Day 16

The door creaks open, and I won't look again. My whole-body aches still. When Clint came in, he treated my body like a corpse. The bed is cold and almost like an operating table. He felt my face, pressing with his fingers lightly into my skin, as he examined my eye. He pushed against the bruises on my arms and on my legs as well. After every thirty or so seconds, he'd put the part of my body down which he was examining and tick something down on his paper. His pencil scratching against his little clipboard was the only organic sound I had heard since I talked to Michelle.

When he left the room, he shut the door. I could hear his mutters through it. My injuries were consistent with a fall, one which happened at least twelve hours ago but no more than sixteen. At some point in the middle of the night I hit the ground with great force, although he can't tell if it was grass or concrete, nor how far I fell before I hit the ground. It wasn't substantially enough for me to get a concussion, but if he were to guess I had some bruising in my wrist.

Alby didn't care about the details. He was content to know that I would not be working for three days, that my injuries were consistent with a fall at around 3:00 in the morning, and that no one else had been treated for any injuries similar to mine today.

Although, Alby was intrigued when Clint mentioned my behaviour and secretive nature was not consistent with trauma due to collision, and more consistent with that of some sort of fight. However, they couldn't prove anything.

So, when the door opens again, I am more than unwilling to answer any questions that Alby has for me. Alby and Clint combined can go shuck themselves.

Someone's weight is against my bed, and I only curl up tighter.

A thought creeps into the back of my head, and I know who is here. It is Ben, and he is here to finish what he started.

My hand flies into the drawer beside me, finishing out a scalpel as I turn around, aiming it towards his face.

I'm greeted by Minho; the blade is inches from his nose. Fingers reaching up to slowly, to find mine, I drop my hand before he can get any closer.

"Dawn," he begins.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. "It's late."

"Who did this to you?" He ignores, looking at my face. "Are you okay?"

"You will be banished if they catch you." Since when do I care about stuff like that? I think I'm just trying to get him to leave.

"I don't care if they banish me," he slides closer to me, taking the scalpel from my fingertips and putting it back in the drawer which I stole it from. "I've never cared Dawn. Who hurt you?"

"I fell off the wall, I'm sure Leo told you," I tell him.

He isn't satisfied. He looks down into his lap, his legs crossed so he can sit and face me. In the dark, it is hard to read his expression, but his jaw is soft and his eyes are creasing. "Leo thinks I hurt you. She won't talk to me."

"So that's why you came?" I demand, crossing my arms over my chest. "You want me to tell Leo you didn't hurt me?"

"I don't care what Leo thinks." He pleads with his beautiful eyes, and I try not to swoon. "Why won't you understand me?"

I can't understand him. He is confusing left and right. Despite this, I want to understand. Desperately, I crave him. I know that if I try to be with him, Ben will hurt us. Ben will hurt him and I couldn't handle that. Watching a collar forced over Minho's neck as he is shoved out the Doors would kill me. I can never watch Minho trapped behind those Maze Walls. That is my greatest nightmare. I know what those Grievers will do. I saw them up close, and I saw Stephen's body. Never could I bury Minho like we buried Stephen.

Besides, Minho thinks we are just friends.

"To shuck with that." He tells me. "You weren't climbing the Walls. I searched for you all night. Through all the rooms in the farm, and all the corners of the Homestead. You weren't up no shucking Walls. The only place I didn't check for you was the rooms where people slept."

That's not true. He didn't check the Slammer.

"I wasn't in any Glader's room if that's what you are suggesting-"

"I don't care if you shacked someone else." He tells me, and though I watch his eye crease at the thought, I know he is telling the truth. "Shuck Dawn, you can tell me you've shacked all my friends. I don't care at all, if they did that to you. I can't watch you hurt like this."

"You don't even care. You only showed up here because I got hurt."

He wipes his hand on his chin, pulling himself closer into me. I find myself fully sitting up, and leaning into shared space.

"I just told you I was looking for you anyways. I just shucking want to be with you. I have never liked anyone like I have liked you Dawn."

This makes it so much harder. Minho is everything I have ever asked for. He is the starry night sky over top of an ocean. He is all the warmth the world could ever give me.

I can't lose him, and that is why this is so incredibly hard.

"He knows about us," my voice slips into a whisper, and creaks in my mouth. I feel dizzy, and I can feel his hands on me. Any longer and I know Ben would've torn me apart. His teeth burning out of his mouth, devouring me. Starting at the skin and chewing deeper and deeper until he gnaws on what is beneath my bone. What is beneath me.

The worst part is that I would've let it happen to save Minho. If I had not bit him, I would've. That is the worst part. How could I know a boy for such short time and give myself up for him that easily?

"Who?" His voice is hoarser than mine, and he looks at me as he says it. Chocolate eyes water in a way that makes me want to burn myself to the ground. How could I hurt him like this? "The slinthead who did this?"

"He said he would have you banished." I interject, staring into the sheets beneath me. I can't meet his eyes when I know how much pain he is in.

"Did he touch you?" Minho moves closer, placing his hands on my sides. "Shuck, Dawn. Did he force you?"

I shake my head. He tried, and I was stupid. Minho could be killed because of my stupid decision. If I hadn't fought back, Ben would not be a threat. I wouldn't be in so much bloody pain and Minho wouldn't be in this room with me. We keep going in circles. Dangerous ones; ones which only end in our destruction and pain.

Ones which are entirely my fault.

"No," I end up saying it as Minho pulls me into his body. I never thought he would hold me again. It hurts that it happened after all of this. "No, he didn't."

Though he tried he didn't, but I don't need to let Minho know about that. I can just pretend we got into some sort of physical altercation when I the guy came up to me.

"Who was it Dawn?" Minho asks, pulling back so he can stare into my eyes. "Who did this?"

I shake my head firmly, taking in a deep breath. "I've taken care of in Minho. It's over."

I hope.

"Shuck," he mutters to himself leaning back on the bed to straighten himself up. "I should've been there."

"You didn't want to be-"

"I wanted to be," he corrects, his words slamming against mine. Cutting them off at the source, he proceeds. "I just didn't want to lose you more. You were right, about how you'd die first. I couldn't let that happen Dawn. I knew that is what would happen."

He couldn't lose me? Klunk, I couldn't lose him. Mystery swims in his eyes, and I just want to explore him and know every inch of him for who he is. I want us to travel the world together, and see everything together, and have a more than just flirting-and-kissing kind of like.

He is all the northern lights in the sky. I am the dawn, and he is all the colour that fills my heart.

I don't need to ask if we are good, from the way he looks at me, I can tell everything is fine. All that has happened has come to an end. Once again, it is just he and I who occupy the universe.

I can't tell who kisses who, only that the universe explodes when it happens. This isn't like the first time. This isn't tentative nor exploratory. Both he and I are absolutely certain this is what we want. Shuck to the rules, to the death and despair that hang around every corner. I would die without breathing him in. After all, he is all that I could ever ask for.

He presses himself closer into me, and I pull him towards me as firmly as I can. Nothing about this is soft. Here, it is not a deal of want versus want. This is a matter of competing need. Of absolute necessity. Arguments don't matter anymore; not when we live in such a dangerous place nor when it only gets worse from here.

Even though I have him, I can't shake the feeling that this is only the beginning. That very, very soon, things are going to get irreparably worse. For now, I have Minho this up and close pressed against me. I don't know if that will last much longer.

"What are we?" I ask.

He shakes his head back and forth, leaning into me. "I don't shucking know, I just want us to be anything but friends."

~~~~~

Well everything is better mostly. For now.

I'll see you soon in: Michelle and Forgiveness.