47 Michelle

It's late into the morning when I finally make my way to the building. No David, or Dave, or whoever you want to call him, in sight. Which I'm glad about, because since he, we, did that in the building, we've been avoiding each other. Not just in the way I silently sit with Gally but ignore his presence, but in the kind of way where I haven't seen him in days.

I can't tell if it's because I am running from him, or if he is running from me. It might not make a difference, but I want to prove to him I'm not a coward.

I'm not afraid of relationships, just no one is here is good enough for me.

Especially not David. Who is he to think he is special? He is nothing more than some cocky Builder with an entitlement complex. Almost as if he thinks I owe him this since he's put so much effort into saving me. He thinks he knows everything too.

Realistically, he knows nothing.

I hear a crash in the building, followed by people shouting. Gally's voice rings out above the ground, and I debate whether or not to go in and help.

"Michelle," I spin around to hear the boy with the ridiculous accent calling out to me. Since when do we talk? "Have you seen Dawn?"

Should I have seen Dawn? He sighs at the look I give him, creasing his eyebrows together. "Look, Leo is going nuts. Nobody's seen her since yesterday, and she didn't show up for work today. Do you think Gally could spare you?"

I shake my head back and forth, but when I hear anger ripping through Gally's throat, I feel myself shrug. There is no way in Hell I want to show up three hours late while he is already that angry. Despite the fact I don't want to help the second-in-command or his people, a chance to get closer to him and to Dawn is one I can't pass up.

For the sake of my and Gally's mission, I can't leave this opportunity to waste. Plus, this is a good excuse for missing out on the morning of work.

"He'll live."

Newt nods, although he has one eyebrow raised. If he is confused he doesn't tell me. "Where do you think she might be?"

I barely know her, so I don't know why I'd have any sort of an idea. Instead of waiting for him to tell me where to go and what to do, I turn on my heels.

"Ask somebody else."

I walk further away, passing behind Gally's back from even 50 feet away feels weird and wrong. I'm stuck on this side of the Homestead until I can manage to sneak past his slippery eyes.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, I can actually find a way to get lunch. Avoiding people proves to be troubling, especially when they are everywhere you need to be.

Gally and David both seem to be everywhere I don't want to be.

There is not much in this corner of the Glade, except for the Walls, the Homestead and the Slammer.

I choose not to look at the building. From the outside you cannot tell what lurks inside. Pain, anguish and beatings all fester in there. The remnants of my own torture stain the walls. The proof of my loneliness in this world.

I'm not afraid of people, nor am I afraid of being alone. How ridiculous a thing for David to say. I'm not a coward. I fear nothing, especially that room.

The door creaks when I enter it.

Dawn looks up at me. Her eye is swollen shut, red and purple in an array of colours. Her hair sticks to the ground as she lifts her head up to look at me, dried blood cracking along her blonde hair.

For a second I think it is a nightmare and then she winces. She pulls herself into a sitting position, leaning against the wall behind her as she stares at me. One blue eye, and one eye black and blue. She blows hair out of her face, only for it to slowly fall down. Like a feather off of a wall. A blue bird somewhere has lost her song and I can feel it in my chest.

"How did you beat people up?"

At this I step inside and shut the door behind me. She stares at the walls. Her eyes glance at me spread apart, ready for her consumption. I don't need to look around to know that the concrete surrounding us in painted in my blood.

The floor seems to have turned redder since I last was here.

"With my fists," I know she didn't mean the physicality of it. I am a small girl, but my arms are beefy, and I can tell I look intimidating.

She was asking the mentality of taking someone and crushing them in my hands. Holding life between my tiny fingers, before taking it upon myself to erase everything that once was. Destruction creates a whole new world. Takes a world that was given to me, and builds upon in ways that I may never learn how no matter how long I am here.

The irony of being a harbinger of death does not escape me, when my job is to build shelter and security.

Dawn rolls the eye she can. I find myself breathing heavier than normal.

I didn't set out to find her. Matter of fact, I was hoping against it. Just one day without drama would be lovely for once, but I can't seem to escape the chaos that fills my life. From what I can tell, Dawn hasn't either. She too, is trapped in this room.

"That's not what I meant," she corrects me in a quick quip.

Her arms are bruised and her neck is red in a way I can't describe. It's green and purple, and all the things that aren't her.

"It's easy," I tell her. Why am I being honest? "It's kind of like klunking. I don't really ever start out my day wanting to, but sometimes I've got to."

She snorts, but doesn't avert her eyes from me. I don't think I can say I quite understand her, nor can I say that I get her, but I think maybe she gets me a little better.

"Were you looking for me, or did you just stumble in here?"

"Yes and no," I find myself sinking to her level, quite literally, and crossing my legs on the floor. "Newt is trying to find you."

"Why?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'd figure you'd know. Aren't you shanks like friends or something else ridiculous? You both talk funny."

She shakes her head. "We don't really know each other. Besides, his accent is nothing like mine."

Never really thought about it before, but now that I'm thinking about it, they sound nothing alike.

I take a hair tie from around my wrist before beginning to pull my hair up. It's in the way of whatever is happening here. The red of it swims around me in a way that makes me feel entirely uncomfortable. Dawn takes notice of my shift, as she pulls herself further up the wall.

Maybe she was talking about Newt, but Dawn and I really don't know each other. We sort of just exist in the same space. I can't remember the last time I talked to her. It must have been before I was locked up.

"I thought you two hung out a lot," I press on. "Does he know?"

"About..." she trails off, and I don't need her to finish the sentence for me to fill in her blank. "No. No one knows."

I scoff, "so you fell on your face then?"

"Climbing the walls, actually," she scrunches her nose up, and I hear her groan under the pain in her head. "I've done it before and I've fallen before. It's a niche intersection that might just fool Newt."

"What about Leo?" I ask.

I try not to think about her organically. She is a Med-jack though, so she'll obviously be the one to check out Dawn's face. Leo is a hypochondriac too, so she'll be all over Dawn, dotting and prodding. Now I understand why Dawn is hiding.

"She'll believe it," she tells me. "Leo likes to find solutions to problems."

"Leo likes to worry," I watch her smile, and I find a smirk on my face.

Dawn and I are trapped in here together. The pipsqueak, Ella, is already going nuts and Leo is definitely jacked as well. Bruised, bloody, and beaten by this room, Dawn and I are the only one's who share this experience.

I don't know if I really believe Gally. Of course Dawn is many things, but she is not insane. She is not the evil I want her to be. If she is, she is way too good at hiding her intentions for me to ever best her.

"You make hurting others seem so easy." Dawn remarks casually, "It's not."

"Hurting is easy," I am honest about it. "Really easy, actually. It's easy to hit someone when they do something wrong. It's harder to hold back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, I'm sorry for last chapter. To make it up, I'm working on some bonus material. Are there any songs that make anyone think of this book.

I'll see you soon (since I've been writing a ton), in Ella and Medics.