34 Dawn

They buried the boy at 1:00. I only know because I glanced down at Minho's watch while we sat at the table waiting for the Baggers to finish whatever it is those Freak-shows do with bodies. Minho couldn't speak.

He didn't speak when I found him last night. He had stormed out of the Map room at 2:00 when everyone was sleeping. He found me half-awake in the forest, but he didn't speak to me. Instead his mouth latched on to mine like a drowning man searching for oxygen. Like I was his only salvation.

When sunlight hit me this morning in the Deadheads, he didn't speak either. When he groaned I thought he was awake, but he still had sleep in his eyes. By that, I mean his eyes were closed. When he woke up, he put back on the pack he had taken off the night before, and left. Silently.

I wanted to reach out and take his hand, from where he sat. I was next to Frypan while Minho rested facing us on a log. I would have grabbed his hand too; shuck Alby's rules and shuck this Glade for keeping us apart. I didn't because I was worried if I tried he wouldn't hold me back.

This quiet is terrifying, and I don't know what I can do to stop it. Not from where I stand, looking at him across an empty grave. Some Bagger is filling it with dirt. All I can do is stare at Minho across the way. His eyes don't meet mine. Instead, they pour down into the grave below. At the body hidden by a layer of dirt.

Now I expect the quiet because of the funeral. Although, I don't think I expect him to be standing so sturdy. Minho is many things, but I didn't think he was cloudy eyes staring at dirty. Nor did I think he was shuffling awkwardly as Leo reaches her hand towards his pocket. She misses, although Minho barely takes notice. He seems like the kind for guy to demand what is going on. Although, I have only known him for ten days. That's isn't enough time to know a person. I don't even know myself.

I can't help but wonder what Leo is doing. When she looks away from him, she looks up at me. I don't move either, even though I feel as though I've been shot in the abdomen by her eyes. She has a way of looking at me the way I imagine a Mother does. In a way that makes me feel guilty for all that I've done.

That's how I know the shuffling I heard this morning wasn't my shoes scuffing against the roots on the dirt floor of the Deadheads. Leo saw us. Which for some reason means she needs to talk to us.

Or worse, someone else saw us. Maybe it's one of those Med-jacks. Leo eats all her meals with them, or she does it alone. Otherwise, I don't know who it would be who saw us. Perhaps Ella, although I don't know that she would say anything. Michelle and Leo haven't talked in days; since Michelle's near banishment anyway.

Does Leo have any friends?

The grave is full before I really even took notice that it was filling, and people are filtering away from the grave. I wait for Minho to leave, but I find Newt's hand on his shoulder instead. Alby moves in closer and the rest of the Runners circle in around the grave.

Right, they all knew this kid decently well. His name was Stephen, and I hadn't seen him before I saw his dead body.

Leo's eyes catch mine, and I know I am about to be scolded, so I move away from her. Ducking behind a group of Builders, I search for Fry-pan. She won't do anything suspicious if she is trying to talk to me discreetly. She will wait until I am alone.

"Things have been getting freaky lately." One of them remarks, and I only pay attention because his voice carries and everyone else is quiet.

"Haven't noticed."

"Course you haven't klunk-head." The boy continues, while his friend grumbles. "Since those girls it's been weird. First that girl sees a Griever in the maze in broad daylight and doesn't get mangled? Now Stephen's corpse is toss on our doorstep? Smells fishy."

"Good that."

I can feel my stomach plummeting. Maybe these people aren't a good cover for me to hide. I turn over to Leo, and see the colour that was once in her face drained beneath the collar of her shirt. She should take what these guys say with a grain of salt. What do a bunch of Builders know that I don't? I doubt that crazy stuff doesn't go on in the Glade any day.

"Fry-pan," I see him and duck closer.

He shakes his head at me, "Dawn, not now."

Before I can get another word in, he is whispering in hushed tones to some Builder who doubles as a Cook when we get stressed out. There goes my cover from Leo. Unfortunately now I am stranded in a group of boys who send me side glances. I would stick my tongue out at one, but I am too busy turning my head to stare at Minho.

He's over a grave, heartbroken and I don't know why. I wish he would talk to me. I wish he would talk at all. I miss him, and he's here right in front of me. In fact no matter what I do I can't escape him. It shouldn't be this hard to be with him. Right?

"Don't worry about him." I look down, and am shocked to see my ears haven't betrayed me.

Ella continues to walk forward, out of the Deadheads. She ducks back through the crowd and I follow her, hoping to lose Leo off of my trail.

"Which one?" I ask, unsure if she is talking about the Builders, or Fry-pan, or Minho.

Do I hope she is talking about Minho. To shuck who knows. All I want is to know that he is alright. Minho is the sun. He can't simply just go out after this. He can't just shut down on me. I mean, he's not the only thing I have, but he is the only thing that has me. I trust him because he trusts me in ways that my friendships here don't do. If Ella is here to tell me not to worry about Minho, I will definitely listen.

She shrugs, as if she doesn't know which one she is talking about. "They are just worried. Change arrives, crackling through the night sky with her destruction. It's easier to blame a side-effect than to accept a reality."

She talks in a code that doesn't exist. If it does, I couldn't decipher with all the books it the world. I still would listen to her talk the way she does for ever. I know she is named Ella, but she will still be Curly. And Curly is a mystery I can't find a way to crack.

"What is the reality?"

She smiles at this, looking down as we walk to the Gardens. "That there is no reality."

She skips off towards the tomato plants I constantly see her burying herself in, and I can't help but feel weight lifted off my shoulders. Curly knows something is up, and if she thinks so it must be. As delusional and distant as that girl is, she is right. Whatever is happening to her, I don't think it's a hallucination.

Although, I don't think much anyway.

"Dawn," Leo has finally caught up to me.

I stretch out my shoulders. Here comes the rant and the rave. Instead of shouting, I raise my back and turn towards the Doors.

The ground is still stained with blood as poor Chuck scrubs the cobblestone. I turn away. Leo is pale, but she snaps out of it spinning around and following me.

"A boy almost caught you and Minho in the forest this morning." Her voice is hushed, but I wish it was louder.

I would deny it just to joke with her, because we both know she saw me and Minho lying together, but I can see from her face how worried she is.

But when isn't she worried? She needs this to lighten up.

"No, he didn't." I correct.

She shakes her head moving closer. "Yes, he did. I was there and-"

"I wasn't with Minho," I correct, a smile on my cheeks. "I was with Fry."

She stops moving but I continue forward. A smirk plays with my face as I watch her register it.

"You're kidding." There is doubt in her voice.

I turn my head back to look at her, before I laugh at her shocked face. Mouth ajar, hands pressed tightly into each other. "Yes, I'm kidding, relax."

She takes a deep breath in before she continues. "Did I say Minho? I actually meant Alby the whole time."

"Really?" I continue. She now walks next to me, so I can smile at her out of the corner of my eye. "See, here I've been shacking with Newt this whole time. Does the whole group think I'm with the wrong leader?"

"Shacking?" She asks.

"Yeah," I continue, deciding the word I made up is one that's going to hang around. "You know, like shucking but-"

"I get the picture," she squints as her face grimaces. "The point still stands Dawn. Be careful. You're lucky he didn't want to look."

"You worry too much," I shake my head.

"If I don't worry about you, no one will." Leo continues on, before turning me to face her. "Listen, Dawn-"

"I don't need a lecture Leo. I will be careful." That's a bald faced lie.

Leo shakes her head. "Listen Dawn. I know I am kind of harsh all the time. A little too strict. I tried it on Michelle, and look where it got her. I don't think it is going to work on you either, nor Ella. If I'm going to give you advice, I'm going to calm down about it, and give it to you straight, that way nobody panics and we're all fine. Alright?"

"Where did all this confidence suddenly come from?" I demand.

When she avoids eye-contact with me, I realise it didn't come. That she is trying her best to chill out. I don't blame her. After the way she freaked out two days ago in Minho's room, I would want to calm down too. Because panic doesn't solve anything.

"Anyway, lay it on me," I shove her shoulder slightly as she struggles to breathe, "I deserve it anyway."

She breathes again before continuing. Her voice harsh, slow, and slurring off itself. "You can't keep seeing Minho. You are going to get caught by somebody who isn't as forgiving as the person who caught you today."

"Who?" I only am curious who saw because I know I am going to keep seeing Minho.

She shakes her head as her voice whistles. "I can't tell you. The less anyone knows about any of this the better. But if you keep doing this, you will get caught. And you will be banished. It'll be out of my hands."

"We saved Michelle," she continues.

I shake my head. "Gally did, for reason you won't get. Just lay low, alright? I will talk to Minho."

She can't. If she does Minho will definitely end it. I can't even tell if we are together half the time, even though I desperately want to be.

"I'll talk to him."

Leo shakes her head as she steps backward. "It's better for you to not to be seen together right now."

Quick. I definitely have to think of something. "Not today."

She stops moving away from me, before looking at me. "Because of Stephen? I know he isn't taking it well, but this shouldn't wait."

"No, it should," I will blame it on Stephen's death if that's what it takes. "The boy was under his eye. Only became a Runner recently. Minho trained him, blames himself. At least give him two days before you say anything."

Leo pauses as she stands still, before she nods. Her eyes locked with mine, a brown like Minho's but also completely unlike them. "Alright, I will."

~~~~~~~~~~

Poor Henry (who is now Stephen I ret-conned that). Happy holidays everyone! I'm going to try to post a bit more since I have more free time with school done.

Do you have any special plans?