13 Leo

Being a Med jack is significantly less work than I had assumed it would be. Surprisingly among dozens upon dozens of boys, none of them require medical assistance. When I woke up this morning, I had expected that today we would not be doing inventory, as that is all we had managed to do yesterday. Unfortunately, I was wrong to assume that.

"There are five syringes of grief serum," I tell Jeff, peering through the cupboard.

"Five?" He asks from behind. "Did you double check?"

"This will be the third time today I've double checked." My voice is low and muffled by the wood of the cabinets, and I'm glad he doesn't seem to hear me.

I can't tell if that's too snarky. It's not very often someone gets to decide who they are, and since I have only just begun to exist, I have been presented with that opportunity. Am I quiet and withdrawn like the little girl? Or am I brash and angry like Michelle?

I hope I am neither of those things. If I could be anyone, I would want to be Dawn. She seems like a beacon of light, and we are all flies drawn into her. Unfortunately, I know I am not like her. She doesn't have a care in the world for anything at all, and I am not as adventurous as she is.

I can't know if I like myself yet, because I don't know who I am. Soon I am sure I will figure it out, but for now I am stuck swimming in lukewarm water.

"Double check," he suggests, and I can tell it isn't an order. "What else are you going to do?"

"Fair enough, I guess." I answer.

One, two three, four, five.

That's one thing I know I can do. Count. Up and down, down and up. There are five containers of grief serum no matter which way you spin it. Though I don't know that I am going to have to use one anytime soon. I doubt I will have to do anything.

That's something I am not, lazy. Easily bored as well, but I wouldn't actively seek adventure. I'm not as perfect as Dawn anyway. She seems to be the ideal person.

"Five." I turn around to face him, leaning on the cupboard lightly.

"It should be six." He tells me.

"You think someone stole the Grief serum while were on lunch?" I ask. "You're numbers wrong, it wasn't six yesterday."

"Clint!" Jeff screeches. "How many syringes of grief serum are there?"

A pause echoes through the Homestead. We are the only three Med-jacks, and during the day everyone else is out working. Now I can see why nobody else is a Med-jack; there is nothing to do here.

"What?" I can hear Clint through the flimsy walls of this house.

"How many syringes of grief serum are there?" Jeff shouts back, so loud I think the walls may shatter.

I wait in the silence after his words.

"Five," Clint's voice echoes back.

"Clint?" Jeff yells again.

Another pause.

"What?"

"Your fives look like sixes. That's poor penmanship." Jeff yells back.

I hear feet stomping up the stairs. The door opens.

"They do not," Clint protests, talking the clipboard out of Jeff's hands. He scans the sheet and then stares at the numbers. "They do not. Maybe we should check out your eyesight."

"Maybe we should see if you have arthritis and that's why your penmanship looks like klunk," Jeff retorts.

I've heard it maybe a dozen times now, but I've still got no idea what the word klunk means. Maybe I shouldn't add observant to the list of things I am. It seems like a good idea anyway.

"I hate inventory," I mutter.

"What, do you want me to go outside and breaks someone's arm?" Clint asks, a smile on his lips. "Give it five more minutes and one of those dumb Builders is bound to get injured. Normally we get one of them an hour."

I really didn't intend for him to hear me, but from the way he is laughing he seems to think it is funny. I can get away with bitterness in a way Michelle can't. She has been robbed of the luxury by her violent tongue and his slithering fists.

I sigh, "none of them are doing any work because Michelle is with them, and they can't take their eyes off her."

All of the girls are very pretty. Michelle is beautiful like a flame, in the sense that I do not want to touch her because she might burn me, but is still mesmerizing. Dawn is the same, but I more so worry she would crumble between my fingers if I reached.

"Which makes the odds even better," Clint continues, "because they are bound to start hammering something and not watching and BAM, there goes a finger."

Nodding, I remain silent. Not one of those idiots has probably touched a hammer since Michelle arrived.

While the Med-jacks continue arguing about penmanship, I sneak out the door. I stroll down the stairs and outside, rounding the building to where the Builders are. As I round the corner the few that are working stop and look up at me. I nod.

The Builders must be the idiots. Which is odd, because building this seems like a ton of work. Not only is it complicated, but it seems like a bit of a mess.

Soon we will be off and done for dinner, but for now I look and stare at the building. Eventually Gally approaches the ones that are staring and they move off and back to their work. Michelle doesn't even look up. It seems as though they are still assembling the frame, which they had begun yesterday. I was in the bathroom when I heard the crash, and when I came out their whole pile was in rubble.

Thankfully, yet also unfortunately, no one was hurt.

"You going to keep staring?" I hear Gally turn to shout at me.

Michelle looks up when he speaks, and I see her eyes penetrate his skin like daggers. She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, and almost gives a nod of solidarity, before she starts glaring. I don't know what I did, if I did anything, and I can't tell if she is turning red from anger or if her cheeks are burnt.

"Med-jack business." I tell him straight, and he rolls his eyes before turning back around to his work.

Soon enough it'll be dinner anyway, so it's not like I'm really interrupting anything.

Michelle breaks off, before turning around and moving off of her work. Her Keeper glares her down, but says nothing as she storms past him and towards me. She shouldn't be disobeying him like that, not when he could run to the Keepers at any second. Besides, it's like two hours until dinner, so whatever this is can definitely wait.

"What are you-"

She cuts me off by shushing me, dragging me off towards the bathroom. Opening the door, she throws us inside and shuts the door behind her. She heads over to a window and slams it shut before turning back to face me.

"What's the deal with you and the leader?" She demands.

"Newt?" I ask back.

She shrugs. "Maybe? I don't know his name. He's in charge of everything."

"That's not Newt." I tell her. "That's-"

She cuts me off. "I don't care what his name is. I just need to know what your deal is with him."

Nothing. He was just asking me about sleeping arrangements, and how it has been going. Said he was going to let us girls have the room in the addition of the Homestead so we didn't have to sleep on the floor. If I tell Michelle that, she won't believe me though. I can feel her distrust in waves. The only way I can get her to trust me, is by lying.

"He asked me to keep an eye on all the girls."

While that's not too far off from the truth, it is a lie. Though he wanted to know how the rest were doing, I told him I didn't know. For some reason, I seem to be his primary point of contact. Maybe that's because I'm the only one who is at least somewhat normal. Dawn broke their biggest rule, Michelle keeps getting into trouble, and no one even knows the other girl's name anyway.

"Are you?" She tries to stand to fight, but she is so much short than I am.

If I say no, she still won't trust me, so instead I shrug. "Hadn't really thought about it, actually. Not in a serious way."

"You had better not." It's a threat, but knowing Michelle I am in the right. If I was wrong, I would already be on the floor with blood pooling in my mouth instead of thoughts.

"He's worried you are going to get in another fight." That is a truth, but I am also worried about that. I barely know her, but I don't want her to get banished or anything. As much as she is distance, she seems like she would be a good ally to have on my side.

"If I do, he'll be the last to know about it." She says.

"Are you going to fight someone else?" I ask.

When she steps closer to me, I know I have crossed a line, but I don't care. Honestly, Michelle can't keep living her life getting her way all the time. Maybe now isn't the time nor the place to teach her that though, not when I am trying to build up trust with her.

"I'm not an idiot." She spits. "I know what'll happen if I try that."

I nod, because I don't know what else to do, and because she is right.

"You should get back, before Alby sees us hiding in here."

When she steps back, I realise it's a victory on my side. That was the absolute right thing to say to this girl. She straightens herself up, as she peers out the window. No one is outside staring it, and I'm not surprised. Michelle is many things, and almost all of them stem from some crazy form of paranoia.

"Right." She backs away. "I'll talk to you later Leo."

She walks out the room, and I can't help but grin.

She knows my name.

~~~~~~

I live for friendship. I just wish there was more of it. I mean, this could be the start of something new. However, I have a tendency to ruin everything. So who knows?

Anyway, I attached a moodboard for Leo. I feel like it explains her character pretty well, but I don't know. I have one for all the four girls, which I will be realising as their chapters come.

Have hope until Saturday.