~ When it gets cold and it feels like the end,

There's no place to go, you know, I won't give in. ~

***

Sirius felt as if he had made a mistake.

He had just returned to Magnolia Crescent from Godric Hollow, where the task of Secret Keeper for the Potters had been shifted from him to Peter instead.

It had been initially his idea because he knew Voldemort would come after him first as he was inarguably James's closest friend. Therefore, he had asked to switch the post to Peter because the latter was a less suspicious target and in that way, James and Lily could be safe.

But now that the Fidelius Charm had been performed on Peter instead of his own self, he felt as if he had made the biggest mistake of his life.

He didn't know the reason to the terrible dread growing in his heart but his instincts were warning him that nothing was as it seemed and something was going to go terribly askew for all of them.

Even though his intention was to keep James and Lily safe, at the moment he felt as if he had placed them in even more danger. The reason to that feeling, however, was still unknown to him.

He collapsed on the couch, quite visibly exhausted and rested his head back, eyes falling shut. He didn't notice when Remus came and sat down beside him. 

Remus placed his hand on his forehead to ascertain whether he was okay or not and at the gentle touch, Sirius looked up to gaze into his soft yet concerned amber eyes. "Sirius, you okay?"

"Tired," he mumbled, letting Rem check him for any injuries but there were none.

"Where are you coming from?"

His reply was vague though not untrue entirely, "Order mission."

"You didn't tell me about it."

"Forgot..."

Remus didn't probe further, knowing that he was exhausted and needed to rest instead of being showered with questions.

"I know you probably want to go to sleep but I can't let you starve yourself," Remus tried to stand up and go to the kitchen to bring something for him to eat, but his hand closed on his wrist, stopping him as he pulled him closer. 

He held his face in between his palms, grey eyes looking at him entreatingly, "Rem, I love you, I always have. But you do know that when it comes to my own life, I would lay it down for James in a heartbeat. You do know that, right?"

He leaned forward, connecting their lips together softly, "I know. You are a brother to him before you're my lover. And that devotion you have towards James and towards your missions is what I admire most about you."

It seemed as if Sirius was still in conflict as he held his hand tightly, "but don't ever forsake me, Remus. Please... I won't be able to bear that."

And though Sirius had to keep the change of secret keeper to himself only, he felt that by not telling Remus, he was risking the trust he had in him. He felt that by not telling him, he was risking his own relationship with the boy he could never live without.

"Why are you thinking like that? Of course I am never going to forsake you," he spoke in a soft tone, thumbs gliding soothingly over his callous palms, "still not going to tell me what happened?"

For a second, Sirius felt that he should tell him the truth. He felt that he should tell him then and there that he was no longer the Potters' secret keeper and that post had been assigned to Peter instead.

But the words drowned in his throat and he couldn't tell him anything. For James's safety, he had promised Dumbledore not to breath a word about it to anyone. Not even to Remus.

And Sirius never broke his promises.

"Siri, what happened?" Remus repeated, amber eyes flickering in concern.

"I am just worried, that's all," he tried to cover it up, "the same old war, same old worries..."

Remus knew he was hiding something but didn't press further, "you and I both know there's something else bothering you. But if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine by me. Take your time but don't keep me in the dark. Tell me when you're ready."

He merely nodded his head in reply, feeling Rem's soft lips taint his own in a sweet lingering kiss before the boy pulled apart slightly. Rem's hands gently weaved through his jet black hair, knowing that would soothe him considerably.

"Now stop skulking like a four year old and get up. Luckily for you, I cooked dinner tonight so you can rest assured that nothing in your meal would be messed up."

A small smile broke out on Sirius's face though he was still quite worried, "thank goodness, or else Fel has probably taken oath to never let me eat normal food."

Remus chuckled lightly, "she gives you normal food, just plays with the spices up a bit."

"It's inedible, why don't you try my share the next time Fel cooks dinner?"

He nodded, "sure. But right now, you're having dinner with me and I won't hear no for an answer."

***

Marlene and her squad bombarded the door to the Longbottom residence, rushing in hastily. They were followed by Augusta Longbottom who was panicking because her son and daughter in law had been attacked by Death Eaters while she had taken Neville out to a friend's place.

Everything spoke of destruction and Augusta held the little boy close to her, scared that she would not be able to handle it if she found corpses instead of her family.

However, Alice and Frank Longbottom were not dead.

They were wounded terribly, indicating that the two had suffered fatal torture at the hands of their tormentors. They were unconscious but breathing in faint raspy breaths.

Marlene supported Alice's bloodied and bruised body while a fellow Auror lifted Frank up. The two had to be taken to St Mungo's immediately or else it would be very difficult for them to survive.

Augusta was forcing herself not to break down as she lulled baby Neville to sleep, though deep down seeing her son and daughter in law in such a terrible state had torn her up. There was very little chance of their survival yet she hoped with all her heart that her grandson wouldn't have to grow up as an orphan, without the shelter of parents above him.

Marlene went with them to St Mungo's while the rest of the squad were left to clear up the place and inform the Order about the disaster.

At the medical facility, Alice and Frank were rushed into an extreme care ward where their treatment began. Augusta stayed outside though Marlene assured her that she should rest as well, too much worry and fatigue was not good for her health.

The Healers were trying all they could to save Alice and Frank and though they managed to save the two, the result was exactly as they had feared it would be.

Both of them had been tortured with the Cruciatus curse so many times that they had lost their sanity. Neither remembered their names even, let alone the reason they were brought to the hospital nor had any memory of their family or past.

Neville hadn't lost his parents physically but his parents no longer remembered him.

When Augusta was given the news, she sank down on the chair, Marlene quickly supporting her so that Neville wouldn't slip from her hands.

The old woman held the little boy closer to her as she wept, breaking out of the tough exterior she was painstakingly managing.

Marlene kept consoling her though she knew that it would be futile.

However, what scared her most was that the reason Alice and Frank were attacked was because Voldemort suspected their son to be the Chosen One. Both Harry and Neville were born at the end of July, both had parents who had defied the Dark Lord thrice.

The prophecy could mean either of the boys as the savior against Voldemort.

And it made Marlene worried that if the Death Eaters had gotten to Alice and Frank, reducing them to such a pitiable state, they would probably get to her friends James and Lily next. They would probably hurt them even worse; torturing them to madness or killing them once and for all even.

***