『 AdelleDouglass 』

✰ cover
The cover certainly gives off a mysterious vibe. I'm assuming that's what you wanted to portray with this.

✰ title
I can see why you chose to go with this title but it's not the most distinctive. There are a lot of books on Wattpad with similar titles.

✰ blurb
The blurb is simple--my only suggestion is to add to it. What makes Dash's disappearance significant? Who is Mal? Try introducing the main character and the main plot.

✰ characters
Mal seems to have a cheerful personality at the start of the chapter. I just wish you would have fleshed out her character just a bit more. I'm assuming we see her more as the story progresses, but it's always good to establish who the main character is in the first few chapters.

✰ plot
The plot is kind of generic--a group of kids attempt to go and look for someone missing. It depends entirely on how you execute it. I was barely able to get into the mystery aspect so I'll just have to read on to see what happens.

✰ pacing
This is very fast-paced, but there's nothing wrong with that. The chapters are on the shorter side, which could cause your story to lack depth and details.

✰ grammar/language
I found nothing wrong with your grammar. There were a few mistakes here and there, but nothing you can't fix by just going back and editing.

My only suggestion is to add more descriptive elements to your text in order to lengthen your chapters. What I mean by this is describing the surroundings. You do a great job at describing characters, now try to add to that. For instance, if you were to describe a tree to someone, how would you write it? Would you simply tell them it's brown and green? Or would you say something like the verdant leaves of the tree flowed in the wind?

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, your story has a lot of potential. You have a great sense of characterization, but there is that lack of descriptive wording. I wish you the best in all your writing endeavors!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!