『 @ImaginativeOwl 』

I apologize for the delay!

✰ cover
Great cover! It really goes with what the story will be about.

✰ title
Very unique title! I've never quite heard of anything like this before. I'm not sure if it has any correlation to the show, WHYRU, that the characters are based on, but I thought it was quite nice.

✰ blurb
The blurb is precise and to the point, which is what a blurb should be! It definitely hits all the points of the story without spoiling anything.

✰ characters
I like Saifah. I think he's rather cheeky and a very cool type of character. He also cares about Zon, although he may not admit it himself. I think he would be so much better with him than Neo. I just gotta come out and say it--Neo is a total d-bag. I know you might not have wanted to portray him in that manner, but his actions really say it all. I feel like there's something deeper with Saifah when it comes to love. I don't think he's incapable of loving someone because you can't tell me he doesn't love his family members, but I feel like he's just suppressing it for whatever reason. He's scared of being hurt is what I'm assuming and, in a way, so is Zon, that's why they won't commit to each other.

I feel bad for Zon. He was being used by Neo and he still holds feelings for him. Zon just seems like someone who needs to be loved. He kinda seems lonely too. Zon is closed off to others in a way where it comes off as selfish because he doesn't consider how the other person might feel. Like he lives in his own little bubble where he's sad about Neo but that's all ever thinks about. He doesn't take the time to really think about how others feel.

I think the way you fleshed out the characters were amazing. I'm able to write soo much about them just by reading the first few chapters.

✰ plot
In my honest opinion, I feel like the plot is a bit overused, especially when it comes to MxM. I've seen other books on Wattpad where one of the boys is sexually pent up and needs to take it out on some other boy they know but then pretends like they're nothing. However, I think the way you've written this story is very well-executed. Like if it were written poorly, then yeah, there would have been a big issue, but you have such a great writing style.

✰ pacing
I thought the pacing was great. The chapters are a bit on the longer side, but it gives way to fleshing out the characters.

✰ grammar/language
I really like your writing style. It flows smoothly and I was able to read through each chapter with no problem. There were a few stray commas but nothing that took me out of the story. Maybe just a little revising will help a lot--remember that a comma acts as a pause, so maybe read it out loud to yourself and see if it works there or not. Other than that it was great!

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I feel like this works great as a stand-alone. I was able to follow along with what was going on even though I knew nothing about the original source. You have great skills when it comes to writing, so great job! I thoroughly enjoyed this story :3

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!