『 @bigfivedonaldduckfan 』

✰ cover
Nice cover, really corresponds well to the story!

✰ title
I like your title a lot! It makes me wonder what those infamous last words are.

✰ blurb
Your blurb is amazing. I love your sense of humor in the first paragraph! Your humor carries into your story really well. It also makes me want to dive right in!

✰ characters
I actually really like Isla's character. (I have a friend with the same name so I might a little biased hehe). But seriously, she felt like such a bad*ss, and being a crime lord made her ten times cooler. You were able to describe her character so beautifully:

...she started drawing every single time she had an idea she considered to be a fine example of insane genius; it was as if she couldn't process and organize her thoughts if she didn't put them on paper...

Great characterization!

Jack is an interesting and overall humorous character. I could listen to him talk all day! He seems too cocky for his own good, maybe that's why death showed up at his doorstep.

✰ plot
I really like how unique this story is. Although it is an ONC prompt, you really made it your own. Your humor is right up my alley and I loved everything about it!

The implementation of magic in your story was really interesting. It was totally unexpected and made me want to understand how the magic system works in this world. Going into it, I just thought this be a story told under normal circumstances but as soon as I read that there were dragons, I was hooked! Gotta love dragons.

✰ pacing
I think the beginning was a bit abrupt and I didn't really understand who the main character was at first or what was going on, possibly intentional, but as I read on it started to make sense. But other than that, I thought the pacing was great. We get to understand the characters more as the story moves forward.

✰ grammar/language
You have an interesting writing style. Nothing bad but it's just something I haven't seen before. I like that though, makes it more original. For instance, when you wrote:

There was a pause. Then: "..."

You had done that before and I thought it was interesting to note! I guess I'm only pointing it out because it's not typically the way I write and it's nice to see different writing styles. I like it!

You had overall great imagery. The swamp scares me, especially with all those monsters you described so well! But I really liked this line in particular:

Nightmares are woven out of shadows, and shadows followed me every step of the way.

Such great writing.

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I really enjoyed your story! The humor was fantastic and the story made me hold my breath a few times. I think your writing is spotless, so kudos for that! You have such a way with words and making characters who seem to have very unlikable traits be very likable. Really great work!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!