『 @TenPercentAcademy 』

✰ cover
The cover is absolutely splendid! It fits well for what the story will be about.

✰ title
The title seems straight to the point and there's nothing wrong with that, I would just find it more interesting if it were to have something to do with the fact that the baby is an alien–something a little more sci-fi. But, don't get me wrong, it's a great title!

✰ blurb
Love the blurb. It's well written and coherent–staying in the present tense. It tells you just enough about the story but not enough to completely give away the ending.

✰ characters
Audrey seems like a very sweet woman. Her heart is in the right place but I wonder why she never thought of adopting? I mean, if someone wanted so desperately to have a child I would imagine that even if they could give birth to their own, adoption would be an option. I did enjoy, however, getting the perspective of an older woman because we don't quite see characters like her in other novels.

Theodore is such a sweetheart as well. It's wonderful to see a healthy relationship like theirs because I've read way too many stories where the relationship is often toxic for the sake of the plot. So this is a nice breath of fresh air.

✰ plot
The plot of very unique and I kept wondering if they were actually going to keep the baby. I was pleasantly surprised when they decided that the mother would be missing her child just as much as Audrey would have if she had been able to have had her own.

✰ pacing
It was paced very well for a single-chapter short story. The concept would have also made for an interesting novel if the alien mother had abandoned the child altogether so then Audrey and Theodore would have had to have raised this alien baby on their own. But it still stands strong as a single chapter.

✰ grammar/language
Your writing is phenomenal. The imagery and feelings you put into the story were definitely seen and felt. I didn't see anything misspelled, the only issue I had was the tense. I know you said you were trying to write in present tense but that you had written some parts in past tense. However, I would suggest only sticking to one, unless there's a reason why you would be switching from past to present tense.

For example, if you were to have a flashback scene that had to be written in past tense then that would be understandable. But throughout the chapter I saw that there were some parts that didn't need to be in past tense because it wasn't a flashback, it was happening at that moment.

Like this part for instance:

That was when I realized that I still had that bundle of joy with me, and I wouldn't lose anything here, at this moment. That I still had some time, albeit a little bit, to share that happiness. The world is wide and full, too many people to meet and befriend. I would have to be content with those I had.

Here you wrote all in past tense except for when you used "is." This brings the reader out of the story because it just doesn't make sense. You either write it all in past tense or all in present tense–if you were to mix the two then the reader would become confused and it wouldn't make sense.

✰ overall thoughts
Overall, I thought your short story was very well written. There is some work to be done when it comes to tenses but even I still have trouble getting it right. Just keep practicing and you'll get the hang of it soon!

✎ . . . .

Happy writing!