"Mother? What are you doing here?"

Jade gave her daughter a small smile. It had been a few hours since she had awakened to find the note that Meredith had left. By then, news of King Antony's injury had begun to spread throughout the city. Nash had insisted that he had to come visit Antony, to show him his puppy, and to "help him get better" just as "he helped me feel better".

"I couldn't keep Nash away. And...after I got your note..." she hesitated, studying Meredith. It had been less than twenty-four hours since Meredith had heard about Antony, and she already looked tired and frazzled. "I read between the lines."

She ignored Meredith's puzzled look and turned to Nash, Prissy, and Samantha. "Why don't you go inside." She glanced at Meredith.

Meredith nodded. "You can go to the kitchens for now; find Ramona."

Samantha nodded and led the way, calmly pushing Nash's chair in the direction of the kitchens and leaving Prissy to follow absentmindedly behind.

Jade now turned back to Meredith. "I should have seen it." She shook her head, and sighed. "I feel as though I've been a bad mother for not realizing sooner."

"Mother?"

"You love him, don't you."

Jade could see the internal struggle that Meredith was facing.

"It's alright, Meredith. I think..." She swallowed, and half-smiled. "I think that the time for holding grudges has passed."

She could see the tears in Meredith's eyes as her daughter smiled.

"Mother..."

Jade smiled, and stepped forward, pulling Meredith into her arms. "I love you, Meredith," she whispered in her ear. "I love you so much."

She felt Meredith's shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

"I love you too, Mother," she said, her voice broken. "You...you don't know how much I needed to hear that."

"I think I have a good idea. I should have made a point to tell you more often."

Jade felt tired. She felt as though she rushed around, spending all her time doing things to try and make her children's lives better, and not leaving time enough to notice things about them. To tell them outloud that she loved them. To talk about their lives.

Meredith finally pulled away and wiped her eyes, giving Jade a weak smile.

"Thank you, Mother," she said.

In that moment, Jade felt the last weight of her grudge slip from her shoulders.

***

"He's sleeping then?"

Meredith rested a hand on Nash's shoulder. "Sort of..." she said. "It's called being unconscious. You were the same way, for a while, when Kade first brought you back."

"He won't wake up?"

"He will eventually," she said. How I hope that's true, she added in her head.

"I brought Emery to see him," said Nash, as the puppy scampered into the room, skidding on the wooden floor.

"Nash, I think..."

She stopped as Nash managed to pick up the puppy and heave him onto the bed.

"Nash," she said quickly, moving forward to retrieve Emery. "Emery is only a puppy. He's too rowdy to be on the bed..."

"Shh, Mer!" hissed Nash, pointing to Emery, who circled a few times and then settled down against Antony, resting his head on Antony's arm.

Nash smiled. "See?" he said. "He likes him."

Meredith sighed and shook her head, but smiled.

"I also brought him a letter. Mom is teaching me to write, so I made her help me."

"If you put it in the side table drawer, I'm sure he'll see it when he wakes up."

"I want to read it to him."

"Alright," she finally said, unable to resist Nash's pleading expression.

Nash smiled and pulled a crumpled sheet of paper out of his pants pocket, unfolding it carefully and clearing his throat before he began.

"Dear Antony," he started. "I was very sad to here that you got injured. I bet you were very brave in the fight and I'm sorry it had to happen this way. Mother says you're sleeping and you probably will be for a long time. I guess I wasn't injured like you were, because I didn't need that much sleep."

Nash paused and wrinkled his nose, licking his lips as he struggled with reading the words he had written. "I hope you stop being tired soon, because I want to go ride the horses with you. I also want you to meet Emery, my dog. I named him after your horse. He's very cute and I think you will like him." Nash smiled as he reached the end. "I hope you feel better soon. Love, Nash."

Meredith smiled at her little brother. "That was very nice, Nash. I'm sure he really liked it."

Nash grinned. "Do you think he heard it?"

"Maybe. You can always ask him when he wakes up, and if he didn't hear it, you can read it again."

Nash smiled. "Good." He turned to the bed. "Do you think Emery wants to stay with him?" He studied the little, furry gray dog who was still curled up, asleep.

"I think Emery might want to leave with you. You are, after all, his owner."

"Alright."

Meredith gently picked up the dog, setting him back in Nash's lap and watching as Nash wheeled his chair from the room.

Samantha and Prissy came in soon after, holding gifts of their own.

Prissy stepped forward first. "I brought him a picture I painted." She held up a small painting of King's Palace. "See?"

"That's lovely, Prissy. You're becoming quite the artist," said Meredith. "You can set it right here on the side table."

Prissy smiled and placed the picture on the small table, before peering curiously at Antony, and backing up.

Samantha came forward then. "Hello, King Antony," she said, shyly. "I want to thank you, again, for letting me visit your big library." She hesitated, before pulling a neatly folded paper from her apron pocket. "I wrote you a story," she said. "You can read it when you wake up."

She set it in the side table drawer, and she and Prissy exited the room.

Meredith sighed and smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed and studying Antony. He seemed to be resting more easily since earlier, when he had suffered two of the nightmare-like attacks. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm going to go see them off now," she said softly, smoothing his blankets and standing to go.

She nodded to the attendant outside the bedroom door and he went into the bedroom to stay with Antony in her absence.

***

Isabella entered Antony's room as night fell. She had stayed with him earlier, when Meredith went to dinner, and Meredith had returned so that Isabella could go eat. Of the two, it was undeniable that Meredith had spent the most time with Antony.

"Meredith?" said Isabella. Meredith turned her tired gaze to Isabella.

Isabella gave her a small smile and crossed over to rest a hand on her shoulder. "You should get some sleep," she said.

"I...can't. What if...what if he has another nightmare when I'm gone. If he's alone with only that attendant to try and comfort him?"

Isabella shook her head. "I'll stay with him, Meredith," she said. "I've gotten some sleep today. You need to get some sleep of your own. You won't do him any good if you become ill from exhaustion. The physician said that he could be like this for at least a weak. You can't stay awake for an entire week."

She could see Meredith beginning to waver. She stepped forward and took her friend's hand, pulling her to her feet. "Come on now," she said, gently. "Let's get you to bed."

Meredith finally nodded and dutifully allowed Isabella to lead her from the room.

Isabella hugged her friend. "Good night, Meredith. Sleep well."

Meredith nodded and disappeared down the hallway.

A few hours later, the clock struck eleven. Isabella had just managed to calm Antony down after another one of his inescapable nightmares. She held his hand and spoke soothingly to him until she felt his wrist once more and noted that his pulse had returned to normal.

She sat back in her chair. "Come on, cousin," she said softly. "I believe in you. I always have."

She started slightly at the sound of a soft knock at the bedroom door.

"Yes?" she called, softly.

The door opened and Jonathan entered. Isabella gave him a small smile. "You've decided to come upstairs?"

Jonathan sighed. "I wanted to...to see him."

Isabella stood and crossed over to stand before her older cousin. "Sit with him for a while," she said, gently. "I'll give you some time."

He looked a bit hesitant, but he eventually nodded. "Thank you, Isabella," he said as she left.

"You're welcome, Jonathan," she said as she closed the bedroom door behind her.

***

Meredith awoke as the clock struck midnight. She turned over, trying to assure herself that Antony was with Isabella; he didn't need her. She tried to go back to sleep but found herself incapable of doing so.

She sighed and sat up, placing her bare feet on the cold wood floor. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and left her room, making her way down the hallway to the east wing and going to Antony's rooms. She entered the parlor, but paused at the door of the bedroom at the sound of someone speaking.

She opened the door a crack. Isabella was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, the one sitting next to the bed, calming Antony, was his older brother.

Jonathan spoke softly to Antony, leaning forward and holding his hand until he fell back into restful unconsciousness once more.

Jonathan sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping, and leaned back in his chair, his head bowed.

Meredith stepped forward then, opening the door fully.

"Jonathan," she said. He started, slightly, and turned to face her.

"You must be Meredith," he said, cautiously.

She nodded. "How did you know?"

"I guessed. I figured that you would be the only one other than Isabella who would come to visit Antony in the middle of the night."

She crossed to the bedside, taking a nearby chair and pulling it over so that she could sit next to Jonathan. He looked a bit uncomfortable, as if he might stand and leave now that she was here, but she turned and caught his eyes.

"Stay," she said. "It was not my intention to make you leave."

"I...I should go."

"Isabella tells me that you are forcing yourself to stay in a prison cell."

He didn't answer, but looked at his hands in his lap without speaking.

She sighed. "I listened to you comfort him." She nodded in Antony's direction. Jonathan still didn't speak. She turned to study him.

"I don't understand, Jonathan," she said. "I don't understand you. You were willing to, upon your first return to the palace, injure your brother. Now you sit by his bedside and soothe his fears. What has changed?"

Jonathan looked uncomfortable, but finally, he spoke. "I discovered how wrong I was," he said, simply.

Meredith waited for him to elaborate, but he did not. "Tell me, Jonathan," she said. "Just tell me. Do you remember a little boy? A little blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy named Nash?"

He nodded, pain in his eyes.

"My little brother. Tell me, Jonathan."

His jaw tightened, and she was almost convinced he would not talk to her.

She was somewhat surprised, when he began.

"I was eleven." He took a deep breath, as if just beginning were the hardest thing.

"My Uncle Rupert never intended on marrying. He never intended to produce an heir." He sighed. "My Uncle Edward and my father did not plan on being king in the instance of Rupert's death. So that left me."

Meredith didn't push him; she waited until he went on in his own time.

"I spent a lot of my time at this very palace, being...trained...by Rupert. It was like being at boarding school, I suppose, in that I spent certain amounts of time here, and then went home for "breaks" or "holidays"."

She could tell by the look in his eyes that what was coming next was one of the hardest parts for him to tell her.

"My uncle was not one for children. His methods were harsh...and they only grew harsher as I grew older. What started out as a shove or a slap when I messed up became a lash with a belt once I got to be around the age of fifteen. It only got worse. Bruises, strikes, punches...I wasn't allowed to fight back. I began to feel as though I couldn't; I began to think that I wasn't strong enough. Looking back on it, though...I could have hurt him. I was strong physically. His abuse weakened me mentally, though."

He closed his eyes. "I still have the scars." He hesitated, before taking hold of his shirt sleeve and rolling it up to his shoulder. "This isn't the worst of it." She could see that his arm was criss-crossed with scars.

She didn't know what to say, but he must have seen the pity in her eyes for he frowned and rolled the shirtsleeve back down.

"The thing was...Rupert couldn't have me telling my parents. If anyone knew...People already saw Rupert as a king who did not hesitate to abuse his power. They just never knew how much. Rupert wanted to keep it that way. He assured me that the consequences to my family would be terrible if I were to let them know how he punished me. I knew what Rupert was capable of, and so I kept it to myself, for fear of what he would do to my mother, or to my father, or to my little brother."

Jonathan fell silent for a few moments, then, clenching and unclenching his fists. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter than before. "By keeping quiet, I may have kept whatever wrongs that Rupert could commit away from my parents and from Antony, but I only kept it all inside myself. I built up hate, bitterness, and a thirst for revenge. When Rupert's terrible military strategy resulted in my father's and uncle's death, as well as his own, I hated him. Because of him, I thought, I had been away when my mother died. I hardly knew my own brother. And now my father was dead."

Jonathan looked up, finally and met Meredith's eyes. "Rupert was dead and gone, and I was king. And then, my fatal flaw. Antony wrought his revenge on Rupert by being a better king than he ever was. I chose to get mine by attempting to wreck everything that Rupert built. When I met like-minded people, people who hated Rupert, on board ships of the royal navy, I began to form my plan. I would build an adversary to the Empire of Astoria. I built the rebels from the ground up. I passed my hatred along to them. With every person I...murdered. With every town I looted. I thought that the more crimes against Astoria that I committed, the more...right...I would feel inside." He laughed bitterly.

"How surprised I was when the opposite happened. I felt more and more terrible about myself. I hated myself, deep down. I told myself to keep going. I told myself that once I destroyed Astoria, I would feel peace. I told myself all these things and more. I was...I was lying to myself."

Meredith found herself forgiving Jonathan for the things that had happened to Nash, for Isabella's situation, and for his crimes against Astoria. As he talked, she found herself seeing the similarities between Antony and his brother. Jonathan felt things, in the grand scheme of things, just as deeply as Antony. Jonathan carried guilt just as Antony did, internalizing it and being hard-pressed to let it go and accept forgiveness.

"When I saw Antony...for the first time in years...I knew, deep down, that I could not fight him. I could not fight my little brother. The other part of me, however, thought that, if I could bring myself to injure my own brother, it would tell me what I truly should do. If I was able to do it, and to feel no remorse, I belonged with the rebels. If I couldn't...I already knew, in my heart and in my mind, what I would discover." Jonathan hesitated, then reached forward and took Antony's hand gently in his, turning his brother's arm so the scar from their sword fight came into view. "I was so proud of him," he said. "When he told me that he would die before he allowed me the kingdom of Astoria, I could not have been prouder of my little brother."

"I hate myself," said Jonathan, his voice breaking. "I hate myself for doing it." A tear ran down his cheek, and he let go of Antony's arm. "But I knew...I knew I didn't belong with the rebels. In trying to avenge myself of Rupert's wrongs, I became Rupert. I hurt who I had to to get what I wanted. Sawyer came to break me out of prison...that had been the original plan. But he knew I was having doubts about the rebel cause. He took Isabella. I could have stopped him...But, looking back, I was afraid. I was afraid I was wrong, that being part of the rebels really was what I wanted and that I was just confused. I was a coward. I could have taken on Sawyer, and saved Isabella. I could have saved that stable boy who tried to rescue her. But I let things unfold; I let Sawyer do as he pleased. And I found myself right back in the rebel camp.

"I tried to redeem myself by turning the other way when the two children, Mariah and Josiah, helped Isabella escape, but I could not escape my guilt. It was everywhere: it followed me to sleep, to hunt, and to dine. Sawyer knew I was having second thoughts; it was only a matter of time before I had a mutiny on my hands. I did nothing to stop it. I think you know what happens next...I ended up in prison while the battle raged on the island. I knew of Sawyer's plans to kill Antony, but I couldn't get out to do anything about it. So I sent a messenger, hoping that would be enough. Sawyer came back to confront me about betraying him. He took me out of my cell, to execute me. I was...I was a little afraid to die. But I knew that, with my death, Antony would be safe."

He looked down at Antony, his eyes filled with pain. "But he sacrificed himself for me." Jonathan met Meredith's gaze, brokenness in his expression. "He forgave me...when I can't forgive myself."

"Rupert is gone now, Jonathan. Forgiving yourself...moving on to become the strong, brave man that I know you can be...that's the best revenge you can have."

Jonathan shook his head. "There is so much that can never be changed. People still fear our family, because they think that we are all like Rupert. Antony was changing that, but now..." His voice trailed off. "Rupert destroyed so many kindoms...So many lives...My best friend, Tad, died because of him. He killed whole families; he destroyed relationships." He paused. "And I? I did the same things..."

"Jonathan..." Meredith was still repeating, in her head, best friend Tad, and something her mother had told her, they were our friends. "Tell me...tell me about Tad."

"There was a kingdom...Borgavia. My family, and the royal family of Borgavia, were close friends. Their eldest son, Tad, and I became very close friends. I was also relatively good friends with their second eldest, Evan."

Meredith swallowed hard, feeling tears burning her eyes.

"Rupert destroyed them all. I don't even know how they died."

"Jonathan," she said, her tears starting to fall. He looked panicked at the sight of her crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "I didn't mean to..." He glanced at Antony, as if his brother would wake up and take over the job of comforting Meredith.

"I can tell you...what became of the royal family of Borgavia."

"You...how? What?" he said, the hunger in his eyes evidence that he wanted to know.

"The king died during Rupert's attack. Prince Tad died as well. But the rest of the family...they lived! Jonathan...I confess I don't remember you...I was too young...But...I'm Meredith."

"Princess Meredith?" he said, his expression one of complete surprise. "Meredith of Borgavia?"

She nodded. "Although 'princess' does not really apply anymore."

"What of Evan?"

She shook her head. "He survived Rupert's attack. But Jonathan..." She hesitated, knowing that hearing how Evan died would hurt him. "Evan died...the night Sawyer came and helped you escape the palace. The night Isabella was kidnapped. Do you...Do you remember the stable hand that tried to help her?"

Jonathan paled.

"It wasn't you," said Meredith, quickly. "Sawyer killed Evan. I heard through a guard, who heard through Antony, who was there as Evan took his last breaths."

Jonathan still shook his head. "I still feel...responsible. It was my plan..."

"It's alright, Jonathan," she said. "Evan hated the House of Westerholme all his life. I knew part of the reason why...but I thought it was just for the same reasons that everyone else in our family did. The house was responsible for the death of our father and oldest brother. But now, with what you've said tonight...I know that there was more. But I do know one thing, for sure."

He looked up, waiting.

"It was his dying act to try to help Isabella. In doing so, he forgave the House of Westerholme. And Jonathan...I'm sure that, if he were here, it might take a while...but he would forgive you. He would respect the effort you're making to rise above your wrong choices."

He nodded, remaining silent.

"And Jonathan?" she said.

He met her eyes.

"I forgive you."

He smiled, after a few moments. "Thank you, Meredith," he said, quietly. "Thank you."

She stood. "Thank you for talking to me, Jonathan," she said. "I'll give you some time with your brother now."

She turned to go, but his voice stopped her.

"Wait...'

She turned around once more, to see him standing, searching his pockets.

"When Antony was injured...I stayed with him, until he fell unconscious. He asked Kade to bring you these letters." He pulled a packet of envelopes and papers from his pocket, tied in a red string. "Kade wasn't able to return right away, as you know, so he asked me to make sure you got them."

Meredith stepped forward, after a moment, and took the packet.

"And here," he said, retrieving a dirty yellow ribbon from his pocket as well and handing it to her. "Antony wore it around his arm for the entire battle," he said, softly. "When he was injured, he asked me to untie it for him. Then he held it...until we returned here. I took it, to make sure it was returned to you. He loves you, Meredith. He told Kade to tell you that he was sorry."

"Thank you, Jonathan," she said, her voice trailing off as she fingered the string tied around the letters.

"Go read them," he said. "I'll stay with him until you're ready."

She nodded her thanks, then left the room, tiptoeing down the hallway until she came to the East Wing window. It was closed, as Antony had not been in residence at the palace long enough, lately, to make sure it remained open. She set down the letters and undid the latch to the window, pushing it open.

She rested her arms on the sill for a few moments, before she picked up the letters and untied the string.

***

(Go to xxxiii part two for the rest of this chapter. It was going to be too long if I included all the letters in this part. :) )

(media for this part is the song, "1,000 Miles" by Mark Schultz, and, in other news, Jonathan has a new faceclaim: Henry Cavill.)