The next day marked the beginning of my punishment. Megan had informed me after class that morning that there would be practice after school at the field, and I was required to be there. I was bummed, but that didn't mean I wasn't prepared. So after leaving Megan's class I took a nap, changed, and headed back to school.

I met up with Megan before anyone else, which was a relief. She was wearing a pair of workout shorts and a long sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a pony-tail, which I thought made her look younger. When she spotted me she smiled.

"You're already off to a great start," she claimed.

"How so?"

"Because you showed up. On time, might I add."

I laughed. "Were you expecting less?"

"Yeah, I was, actually."

I rolled my eyes. "Why?"

"You were late to my class the entire first week of school."

"Okay, you have a point."

"Of course I do," she boasted. "I need you to help me take out the tee's and balls for hitting practice."

I just nodded and followed her to the equipment shed.

Megan would hand me a batting tee and a bat, I would place them on the outside until they were all out of the shed. Then we walked to and from the batting cages with the equipment. It wasn't hard work, but it reminded me how out of shape I was. Maybe helping here would allow me to get back into it.

I set the last tee down. "This brings back memories."

"You used to play softball?"

I nodded. "Yeah, back at my old school."

"Were you any good?" she teased.

I cocked my head to the side with a smirk. "I was the only freshmen to start varsity."

"Yeah that's pretty good," she agreed.

"What about you?"

"Played through high school, decided not to play for college."

Okay, I was surprised. Megan was an ex-softball player too? I found it odd how many things we had in common.

"Position?" I asked.

"I could play every outfield position."

And she had managed to outdo me in the end.

I nodded. "That's impressive. I just focused on centerfield."

"So I'm guessing you got kicked off the team when you got kicked out of your school?"

"Yup," I answered. "But that's okay they weren't that great to begin with."

She just laughed. "Was your mascot at least somewhat intimidating?"

"Not really. But I guess colts are scarier than the Baldwin Bluejays."

That's when the softball girls rounded the corner, interrupting our moment. Megan looked at me. "Help them."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure they can do without me."

But when I went to leave Shay cut off my escape path, a smug expression on her face.

"Excuse me," I stated.

"So do you plan to contaminate the entire softball team now?" she asked.

"What?"

"I mean you and Emma. Do you plan to stop with her or make your rounds?"

And as if on cue Emma herself emerged behind Shay, hearing her comment. The color then proceeded to drain from her face.

I tilted my head. "Why? Are you jealous?"

This caused her to scoff and dismiss herself.

I looked at Emma with a sorry expression, but I didn't understand why she was so surprised. Keeping a secret at this school was near impossible. And at the party this weekend almost everyone had seen us disappear together. This getting back to Shay was bound to happen in the end.

I sighed. "Emma..."

She shook her head. "I don't care."

But she did. It was plain to see. I tried not to let her see that I cared that she cared. "She's just being her usual ugly self."

"I know," she answered.

Before I could even ask her why she hadn't texted me Sunday afternoon she walked away, joining another teammate Guess we weren't talking today either.

I dismissed myself back to the main field where Megan and the coach were talking, and when they spotted me they called me over.

When I made it over coach Lee asked. "You used to play softball?"

I looked at Megan and nodded. "Uh, yeah back at my old high school."

"After the girls do their rounds on the tee's would you be willing to hit balls to them for some scenario practice?"

Really? She wanted me to basically join in on their practice?

"Sure, but I can't promise anything. It's been a while."

"Let's warm you up right now then," she suggested, walking towards the pitcher's mound.

I looked back at Megan. "What did you say?"

"I may have mentioned what you told me earlier," she confessed as she handed me a bat. "Good luck?"

I stepped up to the plate, feeling the wrap of the bat handle in my hands. I smiled at the sensation. In all actuality I had missed softball so much, but had never tried back out for the team here at Baldwin. I regretted it now.

Coach pitched a ball and I swung, missing all together. I groaned.

"Try again," she ordered.

I nodded, trying and failing at least three more times. Eventually I became discouraged considering I hadn't hit one. Coach saw this on my face.

"Focus Sam."

I nodded, this time doing as she said and zeroing in on her hand that was fumbling a ball out of a bucket. She under-handed it to me, the yellow of its fabric spinning and gliding in a smooth arch.

I swung and connected this time. The yellow ball flew over her head and straight to outfield. She turned and watched the ball until it dropped near the back fence.

She turned back to me. "Can you control where you hit?"

I nodded. "I think so."

"Try right field," she ordered, tossing a ball.

My front leg stepped in the direction, my bat connecting and sending the ball over to right field. Wow, I hadn't expected my punishment to feel so... fun.

"Left field."

I mimicked the movements and did as I was told. Eventually we were being watched by the girls who were supposed to be batting. Their attention being on me was nerve-racking, but at least I knew I was impressing them.

Coach noticed and yelled. "Well looks like batting practice is finished. Grab your gloves then!"

I dropped the bat and took a breather. I was pretty warmed up now. Megan had sat quietly behind me the entire time I hit, a smile on her face.

"How was that?" I asked.

"Awesome," she answered. "But it sure doesn't look like a punishment to me."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh its punishment, trust me."

"Oh really? How?"

"I'm too out of shape for this," I complained.

She just laughed.

All of a sudden I was captivated by her, as if a layer of fabric had just fallen away from my eyes. I noticed the color of her cheeks were red from the cold. Those blue eyes looked a shade lighter. Something about her glowed and I just found it... beautiful.

But the moment was interrupted when Shay walked up next to me. Oh great, she was the catcher. How convenient.

She crossed her arms. "Are you done sucking up to the coaches?"

Okay, I was seriously over her and her lame comments.

"I don't know, are you done sucking in general?"

Her jaw flexed as she squatted down into her position. I took my place in the batter's box. The girls that weren't starting in positions were set to run the bases for live practice. Thankfully all I had to do was hit.

"At least you're good at something other than sleeping with people," Shay stated under her breath.

I connected with the ball, this one flying pretty high and towards centerfield. But when I thought it would drop it didn't. It glided straight over the girl's head and over the back fence. A few girls cheered for my homerun.

I smirked. "You were saying, Shay?"

"Whatever. Lucky hit."

"I might just try out and take your position."

"You wish," she finished.

And after that she was silent, allowing the rest of practice to proceed in peace. Even when she was a fly in my ear I still found joy in helping the girls. Not to mention the smile on coach's face after we were finished. I felt as if I had exceeded her expectations, which usually didn't happen. At all.

After practice I helped Megan save the equipment and she left, but I had decided to wait for Emma. There was something bothering her and I wanted to make sure Shay hadn't told her anything else upsetting. And I still felt a little bad after leaving her Sunday.

So I waited on the outside fence, and when she passed and spotted me there was a look on her face that let me know my hunch was right.

"Hey, so you never texted me Sunday," I stated with a smile.

"Yeah well, phones work both ways."

She continued to walk without saying much. Okay what was going on?

I sighed. "Emma, will you stop walking so fast."

"I have a ton of homework to do."

She went to open her car door but I slammed it shut with my hand. This time I was able to grab her full attention.

"What Sam?"

I shook my head. "What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well then can you explain why one night you're all over me, telling me all these things and then the next ignoring me? Because I'm genuinely confused."

She just laughed. "So what, you can't handle your own medicine?"

"What?" I asked.

"You know what, Sam," she stated. "Don't act like I'm any different than all the other girls you do this with."

Where the hell was this even coming from?

"Did Shay tell you something? Because she's honestly just trying to get under-"

"So you didn't sleep with Chelsea?"

I was taken aback. "I mean, yeah I did but I didn't know they were dating-"

"And Brittany?"

"Emma, we were just drunk and I-"

"We were drunk Saturday night too. And you just so happened to have to leave the next morning." She laughed again but it was forced. Her hand rested against her head. "You know I should've known better. That I was really nothing more than a challenge to you."

"A what?" I fumed. "Emma you weren't a challenge!"

Okay that wasn't entirely true. At first she had been a challenge, and I felt bad for that, but it was different now that I had gotten to know her. I liked her, but I didn't know how to do these things. I didn't know how to show what I felt.

"And now I'm just another one of those girls that let you in just so you could take advantage of me," she finished.

What did I have to do to prove her assumptions wrong? Kiss her? Tell her that Shay was a messy bitch? I wasn't sure. I didn't know how to control this fire.

"So we slept together, so what!" I shouted, grateful the parking lot was now empty. "And Shay knows, and is probably gonna tell everyone who doesn't know already, but who cares?"

She was silent.

"You say you wish you didn't care what people think. You told me that. And yes, you're right, it's liberating not caring because guess what? People will judge you no matter what you do, but it feels a hell of a lot better when you realize their opinions don't mean shit anyway."

I continued. "And I can tell you right now, not caring what they think is hard. It's one of the hardest things in the world. But you know what's harder?"

She crossed her arms. "W-What?"

"Looking back and realizing you missed out on something fun because you cared too much about what people thought," I finished.

I was breathing heavy, confused as to where all of that had come from. Don't get me wrong, I was still terrified. Terrified of the feelings and the fear of getting rejected. No matter how strong of a person you were rejection would always sting.

But I knew I liked Emma. I knew she was different, and she brought out something different in me too.

Her head shook. "Sam I just don't wanna get hurt."

"I don't either," I countered. "Yet here I am, chasing after you because I literally don't know what else to do."

A smile finally cracked her stone hard gaze. She sighed. "You... I really hate how good you are with words."

"Yeah I am pretty good," I bragged. "But they're not just words."

"Yeah whatever."

I moved closer. "They're not. I swear chasing girls I don't care about is not my thing."

"So you care."

"Didn't I tell you that Saturday?"

"I just," she paused. "I've never been with a girl... and I don't know how to go about it..."

"I don't either. Don't worry," I comforted. "But we can... uh, try to take it slow?"

"Wait," she started. "Are you saying you've never dated?"

I shook my head, feeling a familiarity with the subject and thinking of Megan.

"Look, we don't have to make it official. We don't have to do anything. I just don't want you feeling bad about what happened," I finished. "But... I wouldn't mind hanging out with you outside of school either."

A tiny hint of red showed on her cheeks as she sighed. "Fine... I'm sorry for blowing up. I just assumed..."

"Yeah well don't assume," I ordered. "And don't let Shay get in your head."

"Okay," she answered. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I leaned in, my arms on both sides of her. She stared at me with wide eyes and a grin. I kissed her. The same feeling as the first time washed over me. Warmth. Sunshine. That's what I felt. It was nice. I hadn't felt that with anyone else besides her.

I pulled away. "Sorry, just wanted to do that."

Her smile was wide as she shook her head. "Of course you did." Then she got in her car and left me.

I felt good about this, and even when I was pretty terrified of letting my guard down I somehow felt it could be good. Maybe it would show me that not everyone was out to hurt me. Or use me for sex. Maybe Emma was meant to be my first girlfriend... if it ever came to that.

But we would take it slow because this was something new for the both of us. I just hoped that there wasn't evil around the corner to equal out the small amount of light I had just found.