Saturday came with a blink of an eye, and with all the chaos going on around us I had no time to talk to Blair about Shawn leaving Monday for New York. I knew I would need to tell her soon, but she was too strung out trying to get us both ready and to the dance on time.

She straightened my tie. "You look good."

"I know," I beamed.

"You're so arrogant."

"It's called confidence. Arrogance is when you think you look better than everyone else."

"Touché." Blair patted my chest. "Ready?"

I grabbed my keys and a small flask I had fixed earlier. "Ready."

"Are you really bringing alcohol?"

"Is that a serious question?" I laughed. "Don't be a prude."

She rolled her eyes. "Shawn's gonna want pictures."

I groaned as she pulled me out of my room.

He and Megan sat at the island in the kitchen, and when we walked out their eyes fell onto me and Blair. Shawn smiled as he stood. "Wow. Sam you fixed your hair."

"I fixed her hair," Blair defended. "And I did her makeup, and picked her outfit-"

"We get it," I interrupted.

Shawn searched for his phone to take pictures while Blair primped herself in the mirror. Megan, who was dressed nice for chaperoning later, joined me in the living room.

"You never told Shawn about the test," I claimed, knowing we hadn't talked since Thursday afternoon.

"No," she admitted. "With him leaving and you tearing down the fence... It just would've made everything harder."

"For?"

"For you."

I looked over to her. "Thanks..."

She shook her head. "Yeah well, that's enough serious talk for now."

She then proceeded to fix the collar of my button down. Her fingers brushed against my jaw and I swear my entire body was aflame. Her eyes were focused on my collar but mine were focused on her. What was she doing?

But as soon as the moment had started it was over, and I was left confused. What on earth was that?

"Alright you and Blair get together," Shawn ordered. I was pulled out of my trance.

Blair hugged me close and whispered. "I saw that. Don't think I didn't see that, Samantha."

"Enough," I demanded through a clenched smile.

Shawn snapped a few pictures and smiled. "I really can't believe your attending a school function, much less homecoming."

Not without help, I thought. I forced a laugh, aware of the pressure from my flask sitting under the waistband of my pants.

"We should go if we wanna be on time," Blair stated.

Shawn put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm assuming you're not coming home tonight?"

"Probably not."

He hugged me close and sighed. "Have fun but be safe please."

I gave him the best reassuring smile I could manage before disappearing out the door. As much as Shawn hated how reckless I could be it was a miracle he still allowed me to have a life.

"So did I really see what I think I saw back there?"

"Oh you saw it."

"She was totally flirting."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. I'm convinced she sees me more as a thorn in her side."

Blair just gave me a side glance before falling silent. I took this as a victory.

It didn't take me and Blair long to get to where our crew was meeting. Our crew consisting of a few of the senior committee people I've been hanging out with, including Emma and her date. I was supposed to be the only single one but that didn't really matter much. The only thing that mattered was getting drunk before the dance. And because we had agreed to meet at Eric's and carpool, I wasn't driving. This was the perfect opportunity to take advantage of my flask.

I was mid-sip when Emma found me hiding in the backyard of Eric's place.

"That better not be alcohol," she threatened.

I finished and smiled. "And if it is?"

"Then you better plan on sharing." She took it from me and swigged like a champ. I was impressed.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Jeremy bailed." She looked down. "Apparently he and his ex got back together last night."

All I had heard was "Jeremy bailed" because my mind was too fixated on how good Emma looked. Her black, sequined dress hugged her body in all the right ways while her curls fell over her slim shoulders. Who on earth would be stupid enough to bail on her?

"Sam? Did you even hear me?"

"Jeremy's an idiot," I confessed. "You look beautiful by the way."

She blushed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Yeah well, you clean up pretty well yourself."

"Is that a compliment?" I asked.

"I think so." She laughed before I handed her back my flask for another sip. "Guess this means I can be your date."

"Sorry, you had your chance," I joked.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

She allowed herself to eye me longer than usual. And once again I found it hard telling her no.

"Okay but this time you have to ask me," I teased.

She tilted her head and handed me back my flask. "Sam, I know that you hate these types of things but... I figured you'd hate it less if you came with me."

I placed my hand on my chest. "As in like, be your date?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile. "Yes."

"Well good thing I wore black too."

"I'm taking that as a yes."

"You should."

Flirting was always fun to me. It was like a second language I spoke often. And the fact that Emma was going along with it made it even better. It was hard not to believe she was attracted to me too by the way her eyes seemed to linger. And Blair could definitely be wrong sometimes...

"We should join everyone else," she suggested.

"Or we can just keep getting drunk in private."

She smirked. "You're a bad influence."

"Hey, if I recall correctly, you asked me to be your date."

Before the conversation could proceed any further Blair found us. "Why are you two always hidden away?"

"Because we're getting drunk," I confessed. "Want some?"

"No, we need to take a group picture and then eat."

"But I just got a buzz."

"C'mon."

So I was forced to do just that while I discreetly sipped on my flask to get through it all. I knew this is what normal high school kids did, that I was making memories or whatever but I always seemed to feel out of place. And it wasn't because they excluded me. There just always seemed to be a feeling of isolation in the pit of my stomach. Blaming it on the fact that I was a year older always seemed to be the easiest answer.

We made it to the venue where our homecoming was being held and got inside. The lights were dim and the music rattled against the decorated walls. It was nice. The senior committee had really outdone themselves.

"It looks great," I complimented.

Blair and Emma responded in unison. "Thanks."

I scanned the room that was filling up with students of all grades when I spotted a group of teachers, Megan being one of them. The moment between us a few hours prior replayed through my head. My body reacting like I had gone back in time as the heat washed through me.

Then her eyes found me, as if she had felt my gaze upon her. She gave a small smile before returning to her conversation. I was pushed back into reality.

"Let's dance," Emma suggested, tugging on my hand. "You do dance, right?"

"Oh I dance," I answered while Megan faded to the back of my mind. "Better be able to keep up."

* * *

Okay, so I had apparently missed out on a lot of fun over the previous four years of high school by avoiding homecoming dances. I had really enjoyed myself, and I didn't know whether it was the help from the alcohol or something else. But nevertheless it had been a blast and was now coming to an end.

The flow of a slow song echoed through the hall. Couples stood to dance as Emma and I sat at our table. She watched them with hopeful eyes and I knew as her date I should ask, but would she? Rejection wasn't something I was afraid of, but even after tonight I wasn't sure if she was into me like that.

I was of course attracted to her, that was a given, but I had no idea if it was mutual. Usually I was great at reading those types of things.

Without thinking any further I stood with my hand out. "Let's go."

She looked up with a timid expression. "Sam, you don't have to-"

"I want to if you want to. You're my date, remember?"

Her gaze softened as she placed her hand in mine, small electric waves rode over my skin. I wasn't the type to do these things, but I found myself wanting to them with Emma. I didn't know if that was a good thing, but it was worth a shot right?

I could tell she was nervous, which could've been because most people knew I was strictly into girls and she wasn't. Or because she actually did like me more than just a friend.

I pulled her closer to me. "Are you nervous?"

"What? No. Why would I be nervous?" she rambled.

I just gave her a "I know you better than that" smile.

"Okay, yeah I'm a little nervous."

"Why?"

"Because people talk here, and it's not like I care what they say about me but... Then I do care at the same time..."

"And you're afraid people are gonna get the wrong idea?" I wondered.

"No, I mean, a little... But not because of what you think."

"And what might that be?"

She just looked at me, and I knew what she was thinking. I wasn't known as the most celibate person at Baldwin, so usually when people were seen with me it was automatically assumed we were sleeping together.

She sighed. "Look, I don't want people to think we're..."

"Emma," I interrupted. "You're not gonna hurt my feelings."

Her shoulders relaxed but she still felt bad. I could tell. We decided to drop the subject, but for some reason her words stung a little.

I leaned closer to her ear. "Although, Jeremy keeps looking over at us and I think he's regretting his decision right about now."

But she just stared at me, as if she hadn't heard or even cared. I gave her a small smile before looking up and being met with a pair of blue eyes already locked on me.

My heart stuttered in my chest at the sight of Megan realizing I had caught her staring at me and Emma, but I wasn't sure how to take it. She looked away and peered down at her phone instead. Then the song ended.

Emma pulled away. "Alright. I think they're allowing us to leave. We should get to Eric's before everyone else."

Blair caught up with us and agreed while I tried to figure out why my heart was racing. All I could do was agree as I refused to think too much about what had just happened.

It was time to party, which left no time to figure out these feelings that were swarming around in my stomach.

* * *

"Do you have everything?" I asked Shawn.

He closed my car trunk. "I believe so."

I leaned against the hood as I watched him tug his suitcase to the sidewalk of the airport drop-off. I had pushed the thought of him leaving to the back of my mind this past weekend, but now it was all hitting me.

"Let me know when you make it to New York?"

He pulled me into a hug. "Of course. It'll pass quick."

I held onto him longer than normal, knowing that once I let go he would disappear. He would come back. He always did.

"Promise me something," he stated.

"What?"

"Wait till I come back to do anything stupid, okay? I don't want Megan to have to bail you out of jail."

I couldn't help but smile. "Fine."

"Love you, kid."

"Love you."

Then he walked into the airport, leaving me alone in the chilly autumn morning. I checked my phone to see that third hour was about finished, and if I left now I could still make it to my last class.

The streets of Baldwin were quiet as I drove to school, the forecast of the day was cloudy. It matched the way I felt at the moment with Shawn leaving. Going to school would only make the feelings worse...

No. I wouldn't skip. I was being an adult. A responsible adult that still attended high school... Jeez, who was I kidding?

I pulled up into the parking lot and checked myself in, walking the halls alone. Even those were empty.

I considered the fact that it was the Monday after homecoming weekend, which could very well be why the mood seemed so gloomy. No one truly wanted to be here. Maybe I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

The bell signaled the end of third hour as I made my way to Megan's class. She had wanted to accompany me to drop off Shawn this morning but he had insisted that it wasn't a big deal and for her not to miss her classes. I had been ultimately relieved.

Students flowed into the bared hallways, the atmosphere turning into something more familiar. Teenage angst, hormones, and excitement for the trek to the next hour replaced the emptiness I was feeling.

"Morning."

I looked up at Megan who was peering at me with a curious expression.

"Morning," I greeted.

"You okay?"

"Yeah?" I answered. "Why?"

"Because you're moping."

"It's Monday, Megan. Everyone's moping."

She sighed. "Did Shawn make his flight?"

I just nodded.

"Okay, take your weird pouting session to your desk."

"Thank you," I dismissed myself.

Class proceeded as normal once Megan closed the door behind her but I found it difficult to even pay attention to her. After the small moments between us this weekend I couldn't help but distance myself. It was the same with Emma. I hadn't talked to her since Saturday and wasn't planning on it until the softball work day. Everything just seemed mixed up and jumbled inside of me and I had no motivation or desire to deal with it. So avoiding her was the next best thing.

Then class was interrupted by a knock on the door, pulling Megan away from her lecture. When she stepped outside it allowed me to see the principal waiting for her, which was weird. I wondered what he could be talking to her about.

The meeting took up the rest of the period, which I became grateful for. All I really wanted to do was go home and sleep away this weird day, that was until I was walking out of the door and Megan stopped me. Again.

"Sam? Can I have a word with you?" she asked.

I forced my gaze to hers. "Do I really have a choice?"

"No, now come back inside," she ordered.

I reluctantly walked back into her room as she closed the door.

"So, the principal just informed me that the softball team needs an assistant coach... He wants me to fill the spot."

Great. Absolutely fantastic.

I shrugged off my annoyance. "And?"

"I accepted."

"Congrats." I rolled my eyes. "Can I go now?"

"He told me to keep an eye on you. That you would be there as well."

So Megan would become my babysitter not only at home but also out on the softball field. Why was the universe so determined on ruining my life?

"Awesome. Well is he at least paying you an hourly babysitting fee?"

"Sam," she started. "I'm not your babysitter."

"Sure sounds that way to me."

She tilted her head. "Look, I'm just letting you know. I don't wanna have to turn you in for skipping out on your punishment. So just... do what you have to do, okay? And be there Saturday morning."

"So does that mean you'll be there too?"

She just nodded.

"Great," I claimed. "Thanks for the good news."

And then I dismissed myself from her room with a shadow of annoyance hanging over my shoulder. This school year was turning to crap and it wasn't even October yet.

"Only a hundred-and-fifty-four days left," I whispered as I made it to the parking lot.