Wade has created a chatroom.

Pietro has joined the chat.

Clint has joined the chat.

Wade: what the fck

Clint: Hi there, spaghetti wielding, meatball mashing, sauce slipping person.

Wade: That was one time and if you mention it to y/n I will tell everyone about your little rendezvous in the McDonalds parking lot at 4am where you made out with a  cone of ice cream.

Clint: LISTEN, DO NOT SHAME ME FOR HOW I EAT ICE CREAM

Wade: We both know the truth.

Pietro: hello greasy old man and less greasy old man

Clint: Don't you have like... a bedtime?

Wade: Clint, don't be ridiculous.

Wade: The dead have no bedtime... as it's permanent.

Pietro: i will destroy everyone and everything you love

Wade: But I love you.

Clint: And you love,

Clint has added Y/N.

Pietro: what kind of monster do you think of me... i would never hurt y/n.... you're sick clint. sick

Y/N has added Bruce.

You: The three of you? In the same chat? Bruce, you're on damage control.

Bruce: CURSED CHAT WITH CURSED PEOPLE. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

Bruce has left the chat.

You: why

Pietro: there are no responsible people here, y/n, you really are on your own. good luck

Clint: I am very responsible.

Wade: Sure you are, ice cream fcker.

You: Since when do you type swear words like that?

Wade: Since there are children on your team.

You: Bc fck and fcker are so hard for Peter to figure out what they are.

Wade: I meant Pietro since he's currently on the chat, but yes Peter too.

Pietro: listen here you old man i am not a child i am a grown man i have done adult things like taxes

Clint: That's exactly what a child pretending to be an adult would say.

You: You have never done taxes in your life, Pietro.

Wade has added Peter.

Wade: Decipher: fck and fcker - so I may prove a point to Y/N.

Peter: uh

Peter: these words...

Peter: You see...

Peter: They are...

Clint: I am an ADULT. And I am PATROLLING this chat. Choose WISELY. What would make Tony DISAPPROVE?

Wade: What are they, Peter?

Peter:

Pietro: i have your back, peter

Pietro: it's obviously 'following cute kittens' and then the other is someone who does so duh

Peter: ... Yeah. It's open to interpretation.

Pietro: what do you mean open to interpretation... is that not what the words mean? has steve lied to me?

Wade: See? It works.

You: Mmmmhmmm.

Pietro: y u date him

Wade: SPEAKING OF DATES

Wade: That was the point of me making this chat before not so fast and mediocre archery man joined.

Natasha has joined the chat.

Natasha: I sensed Clint about to do something ridiculous.

Clint: I was not. Me? Cool as a cucumber. I don't care if someone insults my archery... That is ABOVE AVERAGE.

Clint: It's like... you know? Whatever. I'm cool.

Peter: I don't think you're that cool about it.

Pietro: me, an adult, is not insulted, but clint is... shows the real adult here doesn't it

You: Pietro please stop trying to prove that you're an adult.

Peter: Wouldn't a fake adult try to prove that they're an adult?

Wade: Y/N and I are so proud right now.

Pietro: clint and i came in this chat to have a good time but all we found was betrayal and pathetic burns

Natasha: Bruce was right. This really is a cursed chat.

Wade: Honeeeeeeey, why are you not giving me all of your attention?

You: Sorry, I'm talking to Tony and Cap, babe.

Pietro: in like... in person? sounds fake

Clint: Pietro spends so much time on his phone, he forgot about real life.

Wade has added Tony, Steve.

Wade: shoo... shoo... I'm trying to ask my girlfriend on a date

Pietro: that also sounds fake... like y/n? your girlfriend? fake

Tony: And you can't ask her in person why?

Wade: Bc I'm in another country... you know... doing my "job".

Steve: Your job?

Peter: No... Don't ask him...

Wade: This may come as a shock to you, but iI kill bad guys with guns... and knives... and sometimes my bare fists... other times my sexy smile.

Wade: Don't know if this revelation will stain your prissy shining knight armor but I don't care™

Steve: Huh. Right. Forgot about that.

Wade: The beard has changed you.

Matt has joined the chat.

Matt: Hey guys and ladies.

Natasha: Hi.

Matt: :]

Matt: We also know a man who kills bad guys. It's Frank Castle. Probably shouldn't be telling you. But I mean, he's back. It was on the news. Anyway, hello - Foggy.

Tony: Can I interest you in taking up arms against Thanos?

Matt: Sorry, I'm "dead" ;D.

Matt: Yeah. You'd think having a building collapse on you, and your friends mourning you, you'd be a tad less cool with it. - Foggy.

Tony: What about the rest of your little team?

Pietro: who is this man

Wade: I'm Wade.

Pietro: NOT YOU

Tony has added Jessica.

Tony: Hello. The world may end.

Jessica: No. It's your problem.

Steve: Please?

Jessica: No.

Tony: Fine...

Natasha: Amazing. I must try this tactic.

Pietro: and who is she???

Wade: Natasha.

Pietro: DAMMIT I KNOW THAT'S NATASHA I MEAN THE OTHER LADY

Peter: You can try asking Luke, Mr. Stark.

Tony: Excellent idea.

Pietro: and he is...?

Wade: Tony.

Pietro: THAT'S IT

Pietro has left the chat.

Tony has added Luke.

Tony: A giant purple prick threatens our very existence as we know it.

Luke: Really? Ah, would you look at that? I have a coffee date. Can't help.

Wade: You know, I'm trying to have my own coffee date with Y/N but you people just took over my chat and won't let me speak to her, aaaaand she's hardly talking to me. I am UPSET.

Steve: She's consoling Thor over the loss of his home, dad, sister... etc.

Wade has added Thor.

Wade: I love you. You may cry on my shoulder, but stop distracting my girlfriend you sweet man.

Thor: Oh, sorry WIlson.

Wade: And if you ever need someone to punch that creepy smile off your brother, I will do it for free... bc I love you.

You: Oh. I see how it is.

Wade: Baby, I want to say it's not but just look at Thor?

You: Damn, you're right.

Thor: I am so flattered.

Luke: Are we missing someone?

Matt: No. - Foggy.

Matt: Danny?

Tony: No... No I think all the Defenders are here...

Clint: Are you sure? I could've sworn there was that one who wouldn't stop saying who he is...

Matt: Danny?

Natasha: Whoever could that be?

Matt: Danny?

Jessica: Dunno. Seems like everyone is here.

Steve: Maybe you're right.

Matt: Danny?

Wade: Daenerys Targaryen is a Defender?

Thor has added Danny.

Thor: This is the man?

Danny: I am Danny Rand, the Immortal Iron Fist, Protector of K'un-Lun, Sworn Enemy of the Hand.

Danny: How can I help?

Luke: There he is. Memory's coming back to me now.

Jessica: eyerolls so much my eyes nearly pop out of my head.

Natasha: Same.

Tony: You know what? I think we're good.

Danny: Are you sure? Because I am the the Immortal Iron Fist, Protector of K'un-Lun, Sworn Enemy of the Hand.

Matt: The what? - Foggy.

Danny: The Immortal Iron Fist, Protector of K'un-Lun, Sworn Enemy of the Hand.

Matt: Sorry, I didn't get that. Huh? - Foggy.

Danny: THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST, PROTECTOR OF K'UN-LUN, SWORN ENEMY OF THE HAND.

Matt: Oh, you're that Danny. - Foggy.

Thor: PLEASE DO NOT SHOUT WITHIN THE CHAT. PETER IS TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON STUDYING.

Wade: BIG LETTER DISTRACT

You: PLEASE STOP SCREAMING

Wade: WHAT

You: PLEASE STOP S C R E A M I N G

Wade: OH OKAY SORRY

Thor: THANK YOU

Steve: This is my team. I love my team.

Clint: awww we love you too

Natasha: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

Steve: I LAUGHED AT BUCKY'S EYEBROW JOKE ONCE NATASHA LET IT GO YOUR EYEBROWS ARE FINE

Natasha: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER MY NONEXISTENT EYEBROWS

Matt: GUYS THOR SAID STOP SCREAMING LET'S BE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS PETER

Danny: This is not a verbal conversation???

Wade: B I G   L E T T E R   D I S T R A C T

Danny: That makes no sense. He'll be fine.

Peter: B I G    L E T T E R    D I S T R A C T

Peter: MUST NOT PROCRASTINATE WHEN SEE CAPS

Tony: HOW MANY STEVE'S?

Peter: NO, CAPS

Tony: OH, SO CAP SAM AND CAP BUCKY

Luke: SWEET CHRISTMAS

Matt: YES, CHRISTMAS IS APPROACHING WHO'S EXCITED

Danny: Please stop.

You: WHAT WE CAN'T HEAR YOU SPEAK UP

Danny: STOP

Wade: IT IS "PLEASE STOP" - HAVE SOME RESPECT WHEN YOU SPEAK TO THE WOMAN WHO GIVES ME HEART BONERS

Steve: Okay. That's enough.

You: Hey, Steve.

Steve: Yeah?

You: ... SO do you never get heart boners or?

Steve: I do... But I don't call it that. It's love... Not...

Peter: HEART BONERS

Peter: oh my god i am so sorry i just go so into the whole shouting thing

Jessica: I love this kid.

Tony: Get in line, Jessica.

You: Please. Let's not have another parental argument over Peter.

Luke: You know, this whole conversation reminded me why we don't hang out much with you Avengers.

Clint: I know you love us. It's okay. We love you Defenders, and Danny, too.

Danny: "And Danny"???????????????

Jessica: Don't read too much into it.

Luke: It's okay, Danny. We can have our own team up.

Natasha: True friendship right there to put up with him.

Danny: Like how you do so for Clint?

Clint: LISTEN

Matt: We love you, Danny. We're just joking.

Matt: Well, most of us are. - Foggy.

Matt: Kidding. - Foggy.

Matt: Or am I?- Foggy.

Peter: Wade texted me to say that the conversation has derailed and I should put it back on the path to him asking his one true love, woman who takes his breath away - in more ways than one.

Peter: That last part was his wording... not mine.

Wade: yes

You: A date, huh? What do you have in mind?

Wade: I was thinking when I get back, we go to that place where we made all those memories in one night...

You: Ohhhh, I see where you're going with this ;]

Jessica: No. Stop. I just had lunch.

Wade: You have not lived until you have beaten a small team of  year ten olds at every arcade game.

You: No mercy was shown on that night.

Wade: We used our tickets to buy the big fluffy bear they wanted.

You: And gave it to them. Plot twist. I know you thought we didn't, Clint.

Wade: I didn't want to hand over Sir Bearington...

Thor: An odd, but fine date.

Wade: Anyway, then after we go to the spot...

Wade: you know "the one"

Wade: where we had our first skin to skin smackin'

Thor: I retract my statement.

Tony: I am... Disgusted.

Matt: Foggy doesn't want to tell me what Wade just said, but he made the most disgusted noise ever.

Matt: Nearly puked. - Foggy.

You: What??? You guys have never found the perfect spot to stargaze at the park? Or had your first kiss with someone?

Wade: We mouth smacked so hard.

Steve: I can't believe you actually had a romantic first kiss with Wade...

Wade: Then we head over to that all night pizza place that I am sure doesn't meet the health standards but it's cheap and cheesy.

Clint: THAT place? I once ordered from there and then I spent the entire night in the bathroom.

Wade: Yeah, they're not too keen on hero types so we get the edible stuff.

Danny: What about Y/N? An Avenger.

Wade: If they don't want me to shit all over the kitchen, they'll give my girlfriend quality pizza.

Jessica: What is love without terrifying threats for your partner's sake?

Wade: Right?

Wade: After we've eaten we head over to the x-mansion and break in, have a mini party in hank's room, and then fall asleep in each others arms on the professors desk

Thor: Why the desk?

Luke: You know why.

You: It's what we did on our first date.

Clint: I don't need to know that.

You: Since when is falling asleep bad?

Peter: Yeah, Clint?

Natasha: So it was only sleeping... and nothing else?

Wade: More tongue dancing but that was it.

You: The night was tiring, and we were sabotaging Charles's desk, and it looked so comfy and we were so tired.

Steve: But WHY was the night tiring?

Matt: Please, don't ask that. For the love of our sanity. - Foggy.

Matt: Ask.

You: We had fun? What's wrong with that? Yeeeeesh.

Wade: You people are so full of judgement... Don't make me expose some of your dates, but oh, it's all fine and dandy then, ain't it? Pricks.

Jessica: Your date sounds weird, but in a cute way. It suits you two.

Steve: I was expecting something more... gross.

Natasha: It's still kind of gross. The pizza place? No thank you.

Luke: It's gross bc it involves Wade.

Matt: They're probably hiding all the nasty details bc of Peter.

Peter: Probably, and I am so thankful for that.

You: All of you are jerks.

You: Our date is cute.

You: The REAL nasty stuff happens out of the country.

Wade: Like making sweet, sweet love

Wade: -ly cactus juice in the middle of nowhere.

You: Yeah, and ohhhh, the touching...

You: of our phones bc clint is always asking for touristy pictures to post

Wade: let's not forget all the heavy breathing....

Wade: after a good fight

Wade: GOTCHA ASSHOLES

Steve has left the chat.

Thor: I'm sweating, in fear. I thought they would have said other things. I must calm down. Farewell.

Thor has left the chat.

Matt: LOL, nice.

Jessica: I agree with Matt.

Clint: My heart skipped a beat every time I started to read those messages... Like Thor, I must go recover.

Clint has left the chat.

Tony: Thank you for sparing the nasty details. Keep em for dinner, so Steve can do a spit take.

Tony has left the chat.

Danny: :/ weird.

Danny has left the chat.

Bruce has joined the chat.

Bruce: Steve is as red as a tomato.

Bruce: I see why.

Bruce: You could say Wade and Y/N SMASHED

Bruce: The idea that all their dates only go in one way.

Matt: HAHA NICE

You: Banner, I love you.

Wade: But I love you more. Back off, Y/N.

Bruce: This is still a cursed chat. Goodbye.

Bruce has left the chat.

Matt: I have to go too. But this was fun.

Matt has left the chat.

Jessica: Later. Good luck with purple prick.

Jessica has left the chat.

You: I'm going to go too.

Wade: We are going to text ;]

You: About MEMES.

Y/N has left the chat.

Wade: Or are we? ;]

Wade has left the chat.

Peter: Hey, Nat. Could you come downstairs? Sam and Bucky need you to help settle an argument for them.

Natasha: Yeah, sure. Be there soon.

Natasha: I will be russian downstairs.

Peter: хорошо - Bucky.

Natasha: EYYYYYYY.

Peter: EYYYYYYYY. - Bucky.

Natasha has left the chat.

Peter has left the chat.

хорошо - NICE.