( for those who wanted a skii resort chat, here you go ♡ )

...

Bucky has created a chatroom.

Bucky has added Steve.

Bucky: Steve.

Bucky: Do you know what all this snow and cold remind me of?

Steve: ... Ice-cream? No, shaved ice? Wait, Loki?

Bucky: The Cryostasis Chamber.

Steve: I don't know what that is.

Bucky: Sure you do. You know the one? Not T'Challa's nice one that helped me but the HYDRA ONE WHERE I WAS FROZEN AND BRAINWASHED STEVE YOU KNOW THE WINTER SOLDIER FLASHBACKS ARE REALLY KICKING MY ASS RIGHT NOW STEVE

Bucky: STEVE

Bucky: Buy me cocoa with marshmallows and I'll calm down.

Steve: I'm really sorry, Buck. I'll try my best to make this trip a good experience. Do you want sprinkles too?

Bucky: STEVE

Bucky: yes sprinkles too like is that even a question

Bucky: WHY DID YOU BRING ME ALONG STEVE

Steve: We've covered this, Buck. You're not allowed to stay at the compound alone for various reasons.

Bucky: it was only 3 explosions steve, no one got hurt

Bucky: ANYWAY, STEVE

Steve: Why are you taking this out on me, Mr I Exploded Y/N's Room, And Thor's AND Natasha's??

Bucky: uhm listen my technology know how is severely limited - considering my past STEVE - like how was i supposed to know that y/n and tony were building another android that would self destruct, or that thor's earrings are actually not earrings, or that natasha just keeps a bomb in her cupboard

Bucky: i'm not all knowing STEVE

Steve: You're making my own name weird for me. Stop. And why did you snoop in their rooms in the first place, huh?

Bucky: bc you left me alone at the compound and i was bored

Steve: Oh. Is that so? And you wonder why I didn't leave you alone this time?

Bucky: whatever, is my cocoa done STEVE

Steve: There's a long line JAMES.

Bucky: do not say my name in vain STEVE

Steve: Do you want a muffin too, JAMES?

Bucky: yes please and thank you STEVE

Clint has joined the chat.

Clint: Everything is cold and I hate it. Soon as we arrived here I got a cold. I hate this. I hate being sick, AND cold. I can barely breathe. Nat says I have a high fever. I'm dying. I hate this. I feel miserable.

Bucky: imagine how i feel...

Clint:  I asked for your hot water bottle and you threw Sam's gloves at me. You stole my electric blanket and the soup Natasha made for me. You hog the sauna and the Jacuzzi. For someone who's cold you're pretty snug and warm.

Bucky: i am suffering, clint, i need extra care and love in these cold lands. your cold is nothing you'll be fine go do old man stuff like sudoku to cure yourself

Clint: If I catch you outside, I'm burying you in snow and leaving you there with no hope of escape.

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Bucky: STEVE clint is threatening me

Steve: I don't see any threats, Buck. Don't make up lies. And don't act like I can't see your sudoku message to him.

Steve: Clint, you want something too? Cocoa? Have you had lunch yet?

Clint: Coffee. Black. No sugar. I like it bitter.

Bucky: like his soul...

Steve: Bucky.

Bucky: he started this

Clint: I don't know what I've done to warrant this from Bucky. I understand he's not doing well here, but so am I. I'm just a sick, fragile old man. A little love would be appreciated :[

Steve: Apologize to Clint.

Bucky: no

Steve: Bucky.

Bucky: i'm sorry

Bucky: that you're a lil snotty bacteria infected jerk

Clint:  Sleep with one eye open. I know how to pick locks. My room is filled with tissues covered in snot. I'll cover you in them.

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Bucky: STEVE HE'S THREATENING ME

Steve: You know what, Bucky? Go get your own cocoa.

Bucky: but you're already in line....

Clint: Can I get a croissant with my coffee? <3

Steve: Of course <3. I hope you feel better soon, Clint.

Clint: I'll steal Steve from you.

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Bucky:

Steve: I don't know who that man is, but he seems to be an accurate description of you in this weather.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: Why are you at the cafe when you can order room service? I am paying....... for what?

Steve: I don't want to impose on your finances, Stark.

Tony: It's my treat to everyone, Steve. Don't worry. Just have fun.

Bucky: room service you say....

Tony: Except you.

Bucky: uhm...

Steve: For once I'm agreeing with Tony when it comes to you. You've been so rude to Clint, I don't think you should be allowed to waste Tony's money on room service.

Bucky:

Loki has joined the chat.

Loki: Darlings, I've made great use of this room service. Caviar, truffles, the finest wine... I feel like a King. I must advise you to make the best of it, if Stark obliges. It is magnificent. Ohhh, and Clint, they have the most divine soup, perfect for your cold.

Clint: loki just called us darlings

Bucky: us not you

Clint: mmmkay sweaty continue crying, maybe you can season your peasant restaurant food with all that salt while i make the best of room service ;]

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Tony: I saw that message, Clint.

Loki: Quaint. Like two mutts fighting.

Loki: Anyway, darlings, if you do order in, may I suggest the lobster?

Tony: Oh, yes. A treat indeed.

Bucky: tony how do i delete messages as well?

Tony: Figure it out.

Loki: Hush now, Barnes, the dignified are discussing important matters.

Steve: Oh, I almost forgot.

Steve has added Y/N.

Steve: At the cafe, you want anything??

You: My honor.

Steve: huh????

You: Thor just destroyed Sam and I in a snowball fight.

Loki: I don't think Steve can buy it back, my darling, but he can fight for it.

Clint: Okay, can someone explain the darling thing?????

Loki: I've changed, Clint. I'm now on steady ground with most of you.

Clint: i know but "darling"

Loki: Habit out of always calling Y/N my darling. I've grown fond of the word, so why not use it for you all?

You: Emphasis on my darling. A tier higher than just darling. Don't try to challenge me for the position, because let's face it, I'd smoke all you bitches.

You:

Loki: That you would, my darling.

Clint: I thought he called you "my dear" so um, "my darling" is an open spot.

You: I hold both titles. Step down.

Steve: Y/N I thought we agreed not to swear around Bucky bc you know he likes to learn mannerisms from you sometimes.

Bucky: i have the power of memes

Loki: Back to this snow fight, perhaps I could help you?

You: You would finally leave your room and all its riches to help me?

Loki: Certainly.

Tony: Loki perks only Y/N gets. I'm jealous.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: I was just assaulted by a snowball so large it blocked out the sun. I have been to the frozen depths of hell because of it.

Bruce has joined the chat.

Bruce: He went through Nat and I's snowman >;[

Thor: Brother, you are responsible for this attack?

Bruce: So he's the reason my snow friend is dead?

Loki: Clearly. All of you are in my domain, now. Subject to my frost giant powers. Quiver.

Loki has been disconnected.

Thor: Frost King couldn't withstand a tiny snowball.

T'Challa has joined the chat.

T'Challa: It's fine, there's no need to inconvenience yourselves by bowing on account of my arrival.

Bucky: bows vigorously

Tony: Ugh, Bucky. Shameful. bows with grace

T'Challa: Who would like to go skiing with me?

Clint: I'm still sick :[

Clint: of bucky

Clint has deleted 1 message.

T'Challa: lmao get well soon

Bruce: I would love to but considering I could Hulk out and cause an avalanche I will regretfully pass.

T'Challa: How goes the snowman building with Romanoff?

Bruce: he's dead... our snowman... gutted by thor's body falling through him...

T'Challa: Oh, I'm so sorry about his untimely demise.

Bruce: It's okay, we're building his son now...

You: I can't go skiing bc Sam, Wanda, Vision and I are going to investigate somethin' off the trails.

T'Challa: Be safe, and...

T'Challa: Don't freeze.

Thor: Stark and I will go with you :D

Tony: Um???

Tony: Okay, I guess? Let me get my gear for skiing.

Steve: I'm still waiting in line for Clint's coffee.

T'Challa: Room service??

Clint: It's just not as good as the coffee from the cafe...

Thor: Scott, Peter and Pietro say they shall also come with us skiing :D

T'Challa: Seems like a sufficient amount of people. See you soon.

T'Challa has left the chat.

Thor: Gonna skii, gonna skii, gonna skii without Lokiiiii :D

Tony: I don't want to go skiing. I just want to drink champagne by the fireplace but Thor is so excited, how do I turn him down?

Bruce: Think about making Pietro eat snow.

Tony: I'm suddenly motivated for skiing.

Tony has left the chat.

Bucky: i wanted to go skiing ...

Steve: It's too cold outside for you.

Clint: he's coldhearted so what does it matter

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Bucky has added Natasha.

Bucky: he is being mean to me

Clint: Naaaaaaaat, Bucky was mean to me even though he knows I have a cold.

Natasha: Barnes, have you no shame?

Bucky has added Sam.

Bucky: clint is being mean to me

Sam: roast him, barton

Bucky: no support in this group....

Natasha: Wait, Y/N, what are you, Sam and the others going to investigate?

You: something

Natasha: It's not safe to go off the trails.

Natasha: How did everyone read your message and not get worried???

Steve: I feel like I've been standing in this line forever. Reality does not seem real. Life is an illusion.

Bruce: Mom friend 1 is occupied, it's your turn, Nat.

Natasha: Tell me what you're investigating.

Sam: stuff

Natasha has added Pietro.

Natasha: I know your sister tells you everything. Snitch and I'll pay.

Pietro: they're going to try and find the

Pietro: YEEEEEEEEETi

You: gd pietro this is why we're not taking you with us

Sam: No, we're not taking him bc it would be too easy to throw him at the Yeti and not feel remorse.

Pietro: wow :/

Pietro: anyway i have to go skiing with a handsome king, have fun being cold, uncomfortable, and possibly killed by a yeti byeeeeeeee

Pietro has left the chat.

Bruce: Lol, Yetis aren't real.

Sam: You're not real.

Bruce: Sam, be reasonable here.

Bucky: can i come with

You: Sam told me that you're not doing well in the cold so we decided to leave you behind bc we love you.

Sam: I don't love him. I love Steve. He's just a bonus that comes with Steve, a bonus I don't want.

Clint: I relate, Sam. I love Natasha and so have to put up with Bucky.

Sam: I lied, Clint. Take back those words.

Bucky: shutupclint

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Sam has deleted 1 message.

Sam: lol can't stop this clint bucky drama even though i disagree with clint

Sam has deleted 1 message.

Steve: BUCKY. ENOUGH.

Bucky: STEVE how do you always check your phone when it's too late???? He's deleting his meanie messages

Steve: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT, BARNES.

You: OOF

Wanda has joined the chat.

Wanda: Ready to go Yeti finding?

Natasha: As the designated second mom friend here I must stop this.

Wanda: But Yeti....

Natasha: No Yeti.

Wanda: Yeti.... :[

You: Please Nat, we've been planning for months.

Bruce: Yetis are not real.

You: can you honestly say before you changed into the hulk that he would be real, or asgardian gods, or literally ANYTHING about us

Bruce: No...

Bruce: Okay, fair point.

Natasha: What do you need the Yeti for?

Wanda: friendship

You: recruitment

Sam: instagram

Natasha has added Vision.

Natasha: And you?

Vision: I am only going with to protect them.

Wanda: We'll be fine. I promise.

Natasha: ... Okay. Fine. But I want hourly updates on how all of you are doing.

Sam: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Wanda: you're the best mom friend, nat

Steve: what

Wanda: what

Natasha: Damn right I am.

Vision: We must leave now, should we wish to return before nightfall.

Sam: oooooh what if we get lost and are stuck out there in the darkness oooooooh

Wanda: No, don't say those things. You'll jinx us.

Sam: ooooooh what if we fall down an abandoned mining shaft and die ooooooh

You: Sam, no.

Natasha: I'm regretting this...

Vision: I can fly, as can Wanda. We'll be FINE, SAM. Don't scare them.

Sam: ooooooh what if we stumble upon a bucky oooooooh

Sam has left the chat.

Wanda: oh no not a bucky D:

Wanda has left the chat.

Vision: Do you have your gear ready for the trek, Y/N?

You: yes c:

Vision: I shall help you carry it. I also packed you and everyone some snacks. Now, let's go Yeti finding, my little explorer.

Vision has left the chat.

Y/N has left the chat.

Clint: wow i kind of want a vision as a big brother now to carry my stuff and give me snacks

Steve: Do you think they'll be okay?

Clint: They're all going to die.

Natasha: They'll be FINE.

Bucky: mhm... sure...

Bruce: Can we finish our snowman now, Nat?

Natasha: Hell yeah, I got him one of my jackets so he'll look cool.

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Steve: I FINALLY got your coffee and croissant, Clint.

Clint: Thank you, Steve <3. Bring it up to my room please, I ordered room service for you.

Bucky: wait so steve's going to snack with you

Clint: Yes, I'm a lonely sick man.

Steve: awww thanks, Clint. And I'll be happy to keep you company while you eat :D

Bucky: i thought you were coming to keep me company, STEVE

Bucky: we were going to watch horror movies STEVE

Bucky: and drink hot cocoa STEVE

Steve: We can do that after. Clint needs someone to look after him right now. You know he's not well.

Clint: You're too kind to me, Steve. I'm so glad to have a friend like you.

Clint: stole yo best friend betch

Clint has deleted 1 message.

Clint has left the chat.

Steve: Clint's such a nice guy. I really hope you and him can be friends, Buck.

Steve has left the chat.

Bucky: W O W

Bucky has added Wade.

Bucky: hi

Wade: Hello my sweet hobo man <3

Bucky: want to hang out since i no longer have a steve in my life anymore??

Wade: I would love to, honey. But SOMEONE here has to lookout for Y/N and Co. From a distance. Behind trees. While making scary noises.

Bucky: i can come with you

Wade: But Sam said...

Bucky: clint's betrayal has motivated me to embrace the cold

Wade: Oh... I never thought you and I would bond this way... In the woods... Surrounded by snow... Alone... How romantic...

Bucky: just get ready to protect and simultaneously scare those punks

Wade: Dress warmly. Bring food. Bc I will not eat fkin berries and shit if we get lost.

Bucky has left the chat.

Wade has left the chat.