Namaskaram 🙏

Date of Update: 10.08.2023

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Sanskar and Laksh are sitting in front of a Havan Kund and doing Havan. On the other side of Havan there are two photo frames placed with garlands. The photographs are of Durga Prasad Maheshwari and Sunitha Maheshwari. It's their death anniversary. Sanskar and Laksh are doing Havan like every other year.

"Puja is completed!" Pandit ji said.

Sanskar nodded while Laksh stood from there and went from there.

"Sanskar baba I had given Laksh baba's food in his room. May I get yours and Ma'am's food too?" Kamala Kaki said and asked after Sanskar has looked after the people they feed every year on this day outside their house.

Sanskar looked at the closed door of his mother's room. It has been locked since morning. That stays closed till he knocks that day every year. He nodded to Kamala Kaki. He then softly knocked the door.

"Ma!" he called her softly.

After few moments the door got opened. He sighed and went inside the room and sat beside her. He side hugged her putting his head on her shoulder.

"I have signed that file last night only beta. I forgot to give it to you." Annapurna Maheshwari spoke.

He moved away from her and laid on her lap. She smiled and started caressing his hair.

"Ma will you feed me today?" He asked.

He wouldn't want to eat anything that day if not for his mother. She wouldn't have anything if he doesn't have and so does his brother.

"Of course beta. It's been so long you actually asked me to feed you. Get up!" Annapurna said.

Sanskar got up and had his food silently while his mother fed him.

"I will just take some rest ma. I feel head ache!" He said.

She nodded smiling and he left to his room. Laksh entered the room as soon as Sanskar entered his room.

"Bhayya!" Laksh hugged him from behind.

"Haan Bacha!" Sanskar caressed his hair.

"You had food?" Laksh asked.

"Yes! You?" Sanskar asked.

"Yes bhayya! And bhayya I am going out for sometime. Don't get tensed." Laksh said.

Sanskar sighed and nodded. Laksh left from there while Sanskar sat on the swing in his room's balcony. He kept staring blankly like that. While on the other side Laksh went to a café and sat on a corner table silently putting his head on the table. Sanskar sighed when his phone rang.

"Hey!" he said in phone with dull voice.

"May I come there?" Dev asked.

"No! I will be fine. I want to stay alone." Sanskar said.

"Lucky?" Dev asked.

"Went out!" Sanskar replied.

"Ragini will look after him. Don't worry!" Dev said.

"No! Leave him alone too." Sanskar said.

Dev sighed.

"Take Care!" Saying Dev cut the call.

Sanskar looked at the plants in his balcony and sighed. He leaned back to the swing and slowly closed his eyes going back to flashback.

@Flashback

Exactly the same day 20 years ago. Twelve years old Sanskar ran inside the kitchen sniffing the delicious smell coming from kitchen after playing with Kusum that afternoon.

"Ma!" he called excited seeing his mother cooking smiling happily.

He rushed to her and hugged her.

"Ma what are you making? My favourites?" He asked with excited face.

"Umm... Sorry to disappoint you my bacha, but today is everything papa's favourite. You know papa is returning home after five long days so we are pampering papa!" His mother Annapurna Maheshwari said.

Sanskar pouted making his mother laugh at him. She cupped his face and kissed his forehead lovingly.

"But ma why didn't papa come yet?" Sanskar asked pouting.

"Beta the flight got delayed. Papa has texted me earlier. He would come soon." Annapurna said.

Sanskar nodded and ran out of the kitchen saying he would complete his pending homework so that he can play with his father when he returns. After sometime Sanskar once again came out to check on his mother and ask about his father. Just when he was about to ask his mother's phone rang. So she took the call caressing her son's hair. As soon as she heard the other side her eyes started flowing with tears. Sanskar looked confused seeing his mother crying.

"Ma what happened?" he asked.

She looked down at him and immediately hugged him bursting into vigorous cry. Sanskar on the other hand didn't understand what happened and all he could do was cry seeing his mother cry. He has hardly seen his mother cry. He had always seen her cheerful, happy and chirpy. His father always said that he is same like his mother. Always happy and make people around happy.

"Ma!" He called between his sobs.

Annapurna cried for few more minutes and looked at him. His innocent face made her heart sink as she remembered what she heard in the phone.

"Sa...Sanskar!" She took his name sobbing a little.

Sanskar looked at his mother with tears filled face.

"We... Need to...go somewhere. Come!" she said standing.

Sanskar wiped his eyes and nodded. He followed his mother who took the driver seat and drove off. She is not in correct state of mind but still she preferred to drive as she won't be able to answer Sanskar atleast for now. If she is driving he won't disturb her. They reached a hospital making Sanskar scared. He held her hand tight.

"Ma! You... You are not...feeling well?" he asked in fear.

Annapurna walked silently and entered the ward where she got shock and it only broke her. She knows her husband has left this world as mentioned in the phone call by her husband's Personal Secretary but the scene in front of her just made her hate him. Hate him to the core.

Sanskar stood there blankly seeing his father there in the hospital with lots of bandages. He was about to move towards his father but the loud cries of a two year old boy sitting beside his father gained his attention. Beside that boy he saw a woman laying same like his father with no moment.

"Papa!" that small boy is saying in between his cries.

He knows a very few words and Ma and Papa are two of them which he kept repeating crying badly. Sanskar may be just twelve years old but he is smart enough to figure out what it is. He looked at his mother who is just staring at his father with blank face. That's when his father's personal secretary entered after completing few formalities.

"Ma'am!" He called her.

She moved her eyes towards him. He looked down feeling guilt. That was enough for her to know that he also knows about her husband's illegitimate relation.

"Post mortem needed to be done. They are waiting for your arrival!" the secretary spoke looking down.

Annapurna just stood there while Sanskar rushed to his father and started crying hugging his hand. Annapurna sprinted towards him and pulled him away.

Sanskar tried to go towards his father but Annapurna didn't let him near his father. Sanskar cried seeing his father being taken away by the hospital staff. The two years boy is taken by the secretary into his arms and he tried to console him. He only kept extending his hand towards his parents who are being taken away from that room. Sanskar finally got out of Annapurna's hold and tried to reach his father but he was taken away. Annapurna sat there in thud on the stool while Sanskar hugged his mother crying. Annapurna didn't let atleast a tear but her heart is burning. All she could feel was pain. Pain of losing her love and pain of betrayal, cheating. Sanskar's sobs slowly concealed but his attention moved to the two years kid who is still crying in his father's secretary's arms. He moved away from his mother and turned towards that kid. He slowly moved towards secretary who is sitting on another stool, not understanding how to console the kid and also how to deal with the situation.

"He... He is son of papa and that aunty?" Sanskar asked looking at the secretary innocently.

Secretary looked at Annapurna who didn't even turn towards them. He looked at Sanskar again and nodded slowly.

"Name?" Sanskar asked.

"Laksh!" Secretary spoke.

Sanskar looked at the kid who is looking around crying. Sanskar forwarded his hand and took Laksh into his arms and surprisingly Laksh stopped crying but he was showing at the entrance of the ward and speaks.

"Ma, Papa." Laksh says with tear filled eyes and face.

Sanskar slowly wipes his face.

"Bhayya is here only bacha!" Sanskar whispers.

Annapurna looks at him immediately and rushes to him. Laksh was looking at Sanskar blinking his eyes.

"Sanskar leave him!" She tried to pull off Laksh from Sanskar.

Sanskar moved away and shook his head.

"No ma!" Sanskar says shaking his head.

Annapurna glared at the secretary and moved out of the ward. Sanskar followed her with Laksh while secretary followed them.

Last rituals of Durga Prasad Maheshwari and Sunitha Maheshwari got over. Sanskar holding Laksh in his arms did all the rituals. The news of Durga Prasad Maheshwari's death and his affair spread in no time. After all he is one of the top most businessmen in the country.

"And you stayed silent! Wow Mr. Krishna Kumar! You are very loyal!" Annapurna shouted in anger when Secretary told that he knows about Durga Prasad's affair from beginning.

Sanskar flinched hearing his mother's voice. This is the first time he heard his mother's angry loud voice. Laksh started crying making Annapurna irritated.

"Take this illegitimate child from here. I don't want him around me. Do whatever you want to do but I don't want to see him again!" Annapurna shouted.

"No ma!" Sanskar spoke holding Laksh protectively.

"Sanskar you are a kid. You don't know anything. Don't talk in between elders." Annapurna warned him.

"He is also kid ma. He also knows nothing. There is no mistake of his." Sanskar spoke which only made Annapurna numb.

Should she be proud of her son? If it was in any other situation she would definitely be but now she wouldn't bare. She glared Sanskar.

"Sanskar now you will speak against me for this illegitimate child. Let him go." Annapurna tried to pull Laksh away from Sanskar.

Laksh started crying but Sanskar moved away holding Laksh protectively.

"No ma." He said shaking his head with teary eyes.

She glared at Laksh. She then looked at Sanskar defeated. That too just like that. Why can't she say no to her son? Even if it only gives pain to her she can't say no to her son.

"Fine! Do whatever you want to. But I don't want him around me." Saying Annapurna left from there to her room.

She started throwing all the things that belong to Durga Prasad Maheshwari out of the room. Sanskar was confused. He moved towards the room along with Laksh in his arms.

"Ma what are you doing?" he asked.

Annapurna ignored him and threw everything out of the room.

"Kamala take help of the other helpers and burn everything. I don't want anything that reminds me of that cheater in this house!" Annapurna said angrily glaring the things that are on the floor.

Kamala looked on. Annapurna went into the room and closed the door. Sanskar shook his head looking at Kamala with teary eyes.

"No kaki Please!" Sanskar requested.

Kamala kaki looked on with teary eyes. She knows this family as a happy family but everything destroyed.

"Sanskar baba these are Laksh's belongings." Mr. Krishna Kumar, the secretary gave a bag.

Sanskar nodded.

"Where is ma'am?" Secretary asked.

Sanskar looked at the closed room. Secretary waited for her to come but she came out wearing formals and left ignoring everybody to office. Only this will help her! She thought. She has to do this for her son and his future. She can't sit and hate or cry for a cheater.

"What is it uncle?" Sanskar asked.

"Laksh's care taker! Sir has appointed a care taker to Laksh when he was born since his mother was a working woman. She needs to be paid." Krishna Kumar said.

Sanskar looked blankly.

"I... I don't know!" Sanskar said.

Krishna Kumar caressed Sanskar's hair and left wiping his tears. Kamala Kaki rushed to Sanskar and hugged him along with Laksh. Sanskar cried in her embrace. Seeing him crying Laksh started crying again. Kamala Kaki took Laksh into her embrace and thus she became his care taker along with Sanskar's.

From that day Laksh is Sanskar's responsibility. Kamala Kaki has the major role in helping Sanskar to take care of Laksh. That evening at the time of dinner Sanskar moved to the dining area along with Laksh. Annapurna immediately stood from the chair.

"Sanskar! I told you I don't want him around me!" Annapurna spoke angrily.

"But ma he should be fed too." Sanskar spoke.

"I don't care!" Annapurna shouted at him making him flinch again.

Sanskar went from there silently taking Laksh. Annapurna too left to her room angrily. From then the dining table is just a show piece in their house. Sanskar has did his best with the help of Kamala Kaki, Dev and Kusum. Dev always cheered him and Kusum would always advise him and give ideas to make sure Sanskar spend his time with his mother and brother. Kusum is a lovely girl who always made him smile and laugh. Kusum studied in the same school where Sanskar and Dev studied. Durga Prasad Maheshwari has promised to Ramu Kaka that he would take the responsibility of Kusum's studies and thus she studied in same school where Sanskar studied.

As the way Laksh was not allowed to have food at dining table he was not allowed into the house temple too. Sanskar also stopped entering into the temple and all he do was to pray standing outside it along with Laksh. Things just went beyond control. Laksh turned four. He needs to be joined in school. And Sanskar is still a kid. He has to convince Annapurna. He had convinced Annapurna for Laksh's education though she was adamant she wouldn't want to pay for the illegitimate child's education. Sanskar asked her to do it as a charity atleast and she had to give in at her adamant son's wishes. She can never say no to him. And beyond that he is smart than she has known. He has really good heart and he had always just made her proud. He might be just twelve years old at the time of Durga Prasad's death but he behaved so mature than any other adult she has seen including herself.

Sanskar was seventeen years when he was arranging his cupboard his eyes fell of his father's small diary which he had got along with Laksh's things when Krishna Kumar has given Laksh's things. He had kept that diary safely. It was Durga Prasad's and Sunitha's death anniversary like every other year. Sanskar has always just kept it as his father's memory but never read it. But that day Sanskar felt that his father is asking him to read it. He took the diary and sat on his bed.

'ATTRACTION! A really harmful word and feeling. This feeling only spoils things and lives. And it did spoiled my life too. The attraction I felt towards Sunitha, one of the employees in our Pune Branch, led to a big sin. I have always been in love with Annapurna. And I am even now. That is why I can feel myself ashamed and disgusted after what I had done to Annapurna by not able to restraint my desires and attraction towards Sunitha. Sunitha has told me that she is carrying my child. I was shocked! And guilty for doing this to Annapurna and Sanskar. This only made me think with no humanity. I asked her to abort the child.' Sanskar stopped reading the diary as soon as he read the last sentence.

"How can you papa? How can you be so heartless?" Sanskar whispered staring at the ceiling controlling his tears.

He controlled his emotions and continued reading the diary again.

'Alas! Doctor has declined the idea cleanly stating it would cost Sunitha's life too. I have no option. Our mistake shouldn't kill her. So I have married her in a temple. We know this would be legally wrong. But we did this as atleast she wouldn't get humiliation in the society. I have asked her to lie to everybody that her husband has been recently transferred to another state and he wouldn't be able to come to meet them often. She did it. Whenever I am here in Pune I have asked them to come and meet me, stay with me at our private residence which is confidential and none would know about us. During the times we were together it was only for Laksh I was concerned off. Because he is not at mistake. He deserves all the love. Atleast he should not suffer for the mistake we both have committed. I am sorry Annapurna. I am sorry Sanskar. I am really sorry!'

The smallest diary ended. Sanskar was confused regarding few things. He took his phone and surfed his contacts and stopped at Krishna Kumar Uncle. He sighed as he remembered how his mother has fired him after the incident. He had got that number when Laksh's admission was happening. Sanskar has got the number to ask details about Sunitha Maheshwari.

"Hello uncle! It's Sanskar!" Sanskar said as Krishna Kumar took the call.

"Sanskar beta!" Krishna Kumar responded.

"What happened on the day of accident uncle?" Sanskar asked directly.

"That day Sir has decided to speak to Annapurna Ma'am about Sunitha. So they came along with sir. But Sir was really worried, his Blood Pressure fluctuated and he fell unconscious. He was appointed in hospital too. Doctors suggested to not to take tension. Sir was very adamant to not to hide the thing anymore. So the meet was delayed to next day. They all stayed in a hotel. I myself booked two rooms for them so that they can stay for that day. I was with sir since his health was not good. The next day sir insisted he would drive and asked me to stay with Laksh as he was irritated. He was crying continuously. And then the accident happened and they were dead on spot. I got a call from Sir's phone since I was the last called person. They informed me and I immediately informed to ma'am." Krishna Kumar told everything to Sanskar.

Sanskar understood that his father wrote everything in his diary just to let his mother know about his extramarital affair. May be he wasn't able to face her and thought that the diary might help him but he couldn't give her the diary. He finally decided to tell his mother at any cost but the accident only made things worst.

Sanskar has explained Laksh regarding his parents and also about Annapurna's dislike. Laksh was as smart as his brother. He had understood and always been co-operative with his brother. Sanskar made sure that the truth of Durga Prasad asking Sunitha to abort the baby would always stay a secret. Laksh would never know about it. Laksh many times blamed himself for Annapurna's and Sanskar's pain but Sanskar has always declined and always tried to explain him that it's not right. Annapurna never accepted Laksh as he only reminds her the betrayal of Durga Prasad Maheshwari.

When Sanskar completed his education he decided he would take the charge of CEO of the company reducing the burden on his mother. He has always made sure he would balance his time with his mother and brother.

Laksh always made sure he wouldn't become cause of any argument between Annapurna and Sanskar. He always respected Annapurna infact he had gave her the place of his mother. He has a bit dislike for his both parents for what they had done to his Bhayya and his mother but he never insulted them as he knows it would hurt his bhayya more since his brother still respects his father even after knowing everything his father has done. May be that was his nature. Forgiving everyone!

@flashback ends.

Sanskar sighed as he remembered everything that has happened in their lives after his father's death. He looked at his watch and got worried. He went and checked on Laksh in Laksh's room but didn't find him. He immediately took his phone and dialled Laksh's number. Laksh who was sitting in the same position since one and half hours sat straight on the chair and took his phone. Seeing his brother calling him all he could do was just take the call since he wouldn't want to worry his brother.

"Lucky! Where are you bacha?" Sanskar asked worried.

"Bhayya calm down! I am coming back!" Laksh said.

Sanskar sighed in relief. He knows Laksh doesn't feel good on that particular day. Laksh always stays sad thinking that this day spoiled Sanskar's and Annapurna's life. Laksh drives back and moves towards Sanskar's room to see him working. He went and sat beside his bhayya and hugged him. Sanskar caressed his hair.

"Why did you stopped ma on that day bhayya?" Laksh asked like every other year.

From the time Laksh got to understand everything this is what he asks his brother especially on this particular day.

"Because my brother has me! Why should he go away from his brother when he has his brother?" Sanskar used the exact words every time.

Laksh looked at his brother for a moment and spoke.

"Bhayya anytime you think someone's life would save you from any pain then just come to me and ask me. I will not even think for a second before killing myself for you!" Laksh said.

Sanskar slaps Laksh in a way that it doesn't pain him a lot nor it looks like a playful slap.

"This would turn into a really painful slap if you again speak something like this again." Sanskar said seriously and strictly.

"But I really mean it." Laksh said sincerely.

"Then what will your brother do? You are my oxygen Lucky! You are one of the reasons why I am alive!" Sanskar said cupping Laksh face.

Laksh hugged Sanskar tight.

"I Love You Bhayya! Always remember that Laksh's whole life is dedicated to only Sanskar, his bhayya!" Laksh said as he broke the hug.

"And so is Sanskar's life. It's only for his Lucky, his Bacha!" Sanskar kissed his forehead lovingly.

Laksh just smiles.

"You continue your work. I will just stay here for some more time. I am bored today." Laksh said.

"Go meet your friends for sometime." Sanskar says.

"No bhayya. I don't want to." Laksh said putting his head on Sanskar's shoulder.

Sanskar just kissed his head and continued working.

Laksh goes into a flashback of few days ago where he and his friends were talking.

@flashback

"Hey Lucky, this weekend, it's my nephew's naming ceremony. Please visit. I am inviting all my friends." Neelam, One of his friends said to Laksh who just came along with Ragini.

Laksh just smiled and nodded. He fell into thoughts when Ragini saw him lost in thoughts.

"Oye! What happened?" she asked as their friends left to class.

"You know Neelam's brother is younger than Bhayya and Buddy?" Laksh spoke thinking deeply.

"Haan!" Ragini said with obvious.

"And both of them are not even married!" Laksh said.

"Bhai said he would get married only after I start my career. Means once my studies get over. But what about Sanskar Bhai?" Ragini asked as she knows her brother is clear about his marriage.

"Bhayya?" Laksh looked at her thinking deeply.

"You never spoke to him!" Ragini said understanding his silence and thoughts.

Laksh looked down and nodded.

"I am so selfish. I always thought about me but never about bhayya!" Laksh spoke.

"Now talk to him Lucky. It's never late. I think aunty must have spoken to bhai about it." Ragini consoles him.

Laksh just nods.

Two days later Laksh has heard Sanskar and Annapurna argue about his marriage like every other evening. He never stayed near Annapurna's room when Sanskar is with her because he would feel alone at that time. But that day he accidentally came down to fetch water in the jug and heard their unusual tone of voices. He got to know that his brother is arguing with his mother regarding this almost everyday.

@flashback ends.

Laksh looks at Sanskar taking his head from Sanskar's shoulder.

'What is it that you are against getting married bhayya? Why are you saying no?' Laksh thought.

'I have to talk regarding this to you. I promise ma I will help you regarding this. You may not talk to me but you are my ma and I will help you with this. But not today ma. Today Bhayya would always stay upset. He really loves that man a lot even after what all he did to you, to bhayya and to me. So tomorrow I will definitely talk to bhayya!' Laksh thought.

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Thank You for reading.

With Love

Dharani (Dhaరणि)