Apollo: Let me begin- 

Artemis: No

Apollo: But- 

Artemis: Shut up. 

Apollo: HOW THE-

Artemis: I don't care about your opinion 'coz it is COMPLETELY wrong. 

Apollo: It's not an opinion, it's FACTS.

Artemis: It's not a fact if it is wrong.

Apollo: It is not wrong if it's FACTS.

Zeus: Sheesh, you two!

Wassssup people from the other side? Today, you'll be joining us for an ask the "olympians" episode. 

I would be more excited if you didn't put the "olympians" in air quotes– Hera

First question– Why hasn't Dionysus taken up a part time job/hobby like the rest of you? 

Dionysus: I did take it! *glares* but someone had to screw up royally... 

Aphrodite: Well, I once suggested he take up a simple perfume testing career. During his shift, he opened up the perfume can and sprayed it into his mouth. 

Dionysus: Right off the bat, I could tell that one sucked. 

Demeter: You're a hazard to the society. 

Ares the acrid:...and a coward. You should've dunked that whole thing in your mouth. 

Still the same bighead: WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT CHANGING MY NAME?!

Next one (uhh this may result in some particularly violent results, but who cares?)– Who's the weakest of y'all?

Something tells me this is a bad idea.

Apollo: What?

don't you get a small voice that tells you if something is a bad idea? 

Apollo: ...no?

Demeter: That explains a lot. 

Aphrodite: Hephaestus! Why is he so ugly? 

Gosh, love, you can't just ask people why they're ugly! Preposterous!– Athena

Are- I mean, no one: Let me count- well, dad's in the list, then Poseidon scum, not so wise Athena, sorry not sorry but Apollo's haikus suck, Artemis is so self absorbed, Hades is the most unfashionable god ever (Like, who even wears that 19 ce goth stuff?), Hera, cuz why not, Demeter (I hate cereal), Dionysus is a big mood and I still haven't forgiven Hermes for switching my boots for his ridiculous flying shoes (meaning: I have visited Poland). Oh, and also Hestia cuz she hasn't done anything mean to me. 

–SCENES CUT DUE TO EXPLICITLY HIGH VIOLENCE, CURSING AND HIGH HEELS– 

Hermes: So basically, that meant everyone but Aphrodite and Ares. 

Bloody bastard (HE SAID NOT-SO-WISE, LIKE, WHO DOES THAT?)– I learnt to never insult Aphrodite when she's with her lipsticks and heels. 

Wise choice.

Hades: Ares' not completely useless.

Poseidon: Really? 

Hades: He can be used as a bad example. 

Ugh: YOU-

NEXT ONE (I do not get paid enough blue cookies for this)– How's bessie doing? 

Poseidon: son...

Poseidon: You named that Ophiotaurus... Bessie. 

Poseidon: 

Hades: Well, can't say my expectations haven't been fulfilled. 

Hestia: OOOH Bessie! He's doing fine, thank you very much :DDDD

The Olympians: ...

Splendid, Hestia! This one's something I've been wanting to ask from quite some time– Why can't you guys play as  a TEAM?! 

Hermes: There's no 'I' in team.

Apollo: But there is 'I' in Pizza.

Demeter: Let me guess, you're still not going to share?

Hermes and Apollo: We are not going to share. 

Zeus: They say that every time there's a pizza delivery at Olympus. 

Poseidon: Wait for it, it's not over yet. 

But... 

Hera: There it is!

There is an 'I' in sharing. Means you're sharing. 

Last question for the day suckers! This is exceptionally important,  just to let you know– Hera, it's high time you apologised for what you've done. Especially to me. 

Hera: No.

Hera: 

Hera: I only took 4 months of your life. 

Hera: Or was it 8? 

Hera: *sighs*

Hera: Alright, I apologise. For everything.

For taking my memory and dumping into an unknown place where I can get killed very easily, ruining my life after promising to leave me alone and not even helping me properly?

Hera: No, you definitely deserved that. 

                                                                 –Too many prophecies– 

Wanna see MAGIC? See that grey star below? Click on that and BOOM! It's orange. 

Classic magic, mortals.

 Comment down your questions mortals! Make sure to mention how idiotic Ares is! And Poseidon. And basically every other Olympian. Except for me, of course, you do not want to do that.