*insert dirty joke here*

Papyrus: (tilts head like a dog reacting to a high-pitched noise) Wha?
Frisk: Too pure, he's too pure...

Alphys: *sweating* oh god they know...

Sans: what
Alphys: NOTHING
Papyrus: (passes a USB stick to Sans) Found it.
Alphys: WHAT?! I TH-THOUGHT I HID THAT TH-THING UNDER LOCK AND KEY!
Papyrus: You did. (smirks a bit)
* More suspicion... it flies right over Sans' head.
Sans: (eyes go all star-shaped) omg paps we need to read these
Papyrus: YES
Alphys: NO
* Sans teleports them both away with the USB stick.
Alphys: I-I want to die..

can we please stop drugging the cast?

Frisk: nah it's fun
SF!Tem: I WANNA DRUG PEOPLE!!! >:D

Reapva: *walks away from SF!Sans quickly, blushing*
Raindrop: ùwú ✨
Me: Hahah!! Reapva like--
Reapva: *Puts a scythe to her neck* QUIT IT.
Me: O—O Okie!! Jeez!!!

Red: You okay there? I, uh, don't think we've met.

Yo Grillby! I dare you to call Sans "Dom" every time you see him for 3 chapters!

Grillby: Haha, that I can do!
Sans: three more chapters of suffering and embarrassment await me.
Grillby: Don't say that, Dom, I'm sure it'll be alright~
Sans: (turns blue) hhhhhhhhhhh, askers why do you torture me
Red: this is going to be amazing =w=

Fucking hell, Sans, why???? I wanted to read your secret love letters to Grillby that you never sent! And don't try to deny it because we all know that you write them!

Sans: those are my business and nobody else's
Papyrus: what
Sans: what

Domic
Dom
Dommy
Dom-Cat
Domino
*continues listing nicknames for ten minutes*

Sans: (pulls hood over face) KNOCK IT OFF!
Papyrus: (snickers and takes a picture)
Chara: Send that to me! >w<
Sans: BRO WHY
Papyrus: nyehehehehe
Alphys: (eyes light up hearing Dom-Cat) (prepares the neko costume)

Sans.... you have a diary? *stares judgementally* is it pink and glittery too?

Sans: That's Mettaton's diary you're thinking of. Mine is a journal. I don't write in it much, since most of my important notes and stuff is saved onto a USB stick and on my laptop.
????? 2: (listening from outside) Interesting...
????? 1: (right beside her) Interesting indeed.

Oh, so it's not pink... oh well, I'm still gonna imagine that it is.

Sans: You do you, kid.
Mettaton: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DIARY???
Sans: Woah, calm down.
Mettaton: YOU CALM DOWN!!!
Sans: listen here you little shit—
Toriel: (steps in front of him without commenting on the swearing) Sans, you are not helping. Calm down, Mettaton, I'm sure your diary is just somewhere in your room.
Mettaton: I-I already looked! I wrote really personal things in there...
Blooky: Metta, it's alright... we'll find it...
Sans: You're being overdramatic. It's gotta be here somewhere. We'll help you look.
Mettaton: Th-thank you... you three... I-I'll check my room again... (walks back upstairs)

????? 8: Heh heh heh... stupid toaster. (hiding behind a tree around the side of the house and flipping through the pages) Personal stuff, eh? Well then... let's see just how much dirt you have on your case~
????? 6: (walks up in a black hood) Did you get the book?
????? 8: Of course I did.
????? 2: (static cuts out ????? 6's name), you stupid bitch, she's holding the damn thing!
????? 6: Oh shut up, 2. If someone hears us, we could give ourselves away!
????? 2: Who's gonna hear us? 3 and 4 are too busy with their families.
????? 8: Girls, I think we're on camera...
* A security camera has its lens pointed at them. The hoods they wear are hiding their faces...
????? 8: 6, shut down the camera and destroy the footage. 2, go back to— (static)
????? 2: Aye aye, ma'am! (runs off)
* Camera deactivated. E–ERROR 375: system failure — all footage lost.

????? 1: Good work.