nukenorthkorea9 dares:
I dare Wedge to slap all the Recruits including the teachers and shout "I don't give a shit!"

Wedge:

Wedge: HOTSHOOOOOT!!!!!!

Hotshot: *prolly in the trash where he belongs* WHAT.

Wedge: c'mere bro I wanna show you something.

Hotshot: *running over* what is it br-

Hotshot: *C H A I R*

Wedge: *as Hotshot is on the floor* wait I did that wrong.

*later*

Wedge: *sees that Chase is going around and "jumpscaring" the recruits*

Wedge: *sudden idea*

Wedge: *walking*

Chase:

Chase: *jumps out* BOO!

Wedge:

*later*

Blades: aren't you ever gonna get a femmfriend?

Wedge, immediately:

*later*

Wedge: *sees Hoist and Whirl*

Wedge: *double kills*

Medix, when she senses a disturbance from her wholesome OTP:

Wedge: *has left our solar system*

*later*

Wedge, when Heatwave just stands there:

Wedge, 2 seconds later: *SCREAMING*

*later*

Wedge: *accidentally slaps Boulder when he comes up behind him while planting some flowers*

Boulder: *slightly stunned* well... I guess you don't need my help after all...

Recruits: *beat up Wedge when Boulder walks away*

*that night*

Wedge: *sees Medix*

Medix: *sees Wedge*

Them:

What happens: *an epic fight that could shatter worlds*

The result: *Wedge stands victorious as a clear slap mark on Medix's aft can be shown*

Recruits and Rescue Bots: *all tremble before the might of Wedge*

The author:

What really happened: *clear slap mark on Medix's aft*

Not even a second later:

Everyone: *claps*

*the next morning*

Wedge: *wakes up in the medical bay with everyone surrounding him*

Everyone: *not happy*

Wedge: *clears throat and takes a deep breath*

Wedge:
I.
DON'T.
G I V E.
A.
S H I T.

Wedge: BOOM! Dare complete!!

Medix: *slams her fist down on his groin* BOOM! You have no balls!!!

Wedge: