heatblade_lover15 dares:
I dare Wedge to wear fishnet stockings for 48 hours.

Wedge: *fuck*

Medix: *sees the dare* oh! You can borrow mine! *heads to her closet*

Wedge: wait you have fishnets????

Medix: *looks at him dramatically while balancing on one heel and using the closet door for support* honey, I keep myself prepared.

Wedge: *just stands there with a neutral expression as Medix tosses her fishnets in his face like it's underwear*

Medix: try not to tear them, please. Good luck with the dare! *walks away*

Wedge: *takes the stockings off his helm and looks at them* Primus... forgive me.

*later*

Hotshot:

Wedge:

Hotshot, a few seconds later: hey what's up girl~~

Wedge: *knocks him out*

*that afternoon*

Heatwave: *desperately trying not to laugh* Wedge..? Haha- what *snort* what're you wearing?

Wedge: *straight up* fishnet stockings. You like?

Hotshot: *gets seductively closer* I certainly do~~~

Wedge: *shoves him away* fuck off.

Recruits: *all wheezing*

Heatwave: *he can't breathe*

*later, that evening*

Hotshot: *fucking around on the pole* hey Wedge-

Wedge: no.

Hotshot: how many dollar bills do you think you'll get if you take this pole-

Wedge: *yEET*

Hotshot: *screams when he gets SLAMMED by a couch*

Medix, when she realizes she has to take care of that moron again:

Hotshot: MEDIC!!!

Medix: *already lifting him up* I know.

*the next morning*

Wedge: *refusing to get out of his berth*

Whirst: *finally use their last resort effort*

Wedge: *shrieks as his berth is flipped over and faceplants into the ground* aight I'm up.

*that afternoon*

Recruits: *doing a jungle sim, working on stealth and camouflage*

Whirl: ouch! *calls back to everyone* watch out guys! There's thorns!!

Wedge: *in the background* SAY SIKE RIGHT N-

Medix: *shrieks loudly* something got my leg!!

Hotshot, who is suddenly better: *coming out of the bushes with his servo wrapped around her thigh* that would be me!

*S L A P*

Wedge: *wheezing but not paying attention to his surroundings*

Hoist: Wedge! Look out!

Wedge: *backs into some thorns and gets his fishnets caught* ah fuck. Could I get some help over here? My fishnets are caught!

Medix: don't-!

Wedge: *moves slightly and accidentally tears it* oops.

Medix: *sighs heavily as she gets her cutter clamps out and frees Wedge* you better plan on buying me new ones.

Wedge: why? So you can be a hoe?

Medix: *roundhouse kicks him back into the thorns*

*later*

Recruits: *studying together*

Wedge: *walking in, noticeably disheveled* YOU ALL LEFT ME BACK THERE!

Recruits: you pissed off the medic.

Hotshot: *as said medic is snuggled into him* and nobody pisses off the medic.

Wedge: oh shut up bro you piss her off all the time.

Medix: in his defense, he does it out of love.

Wedge: *rolls optics* so what? If I wanna piss you off I've gotta do it out of love?

Medix: yes- wait nO-

Hotshot: *quickly moves Medix out of the way when Wedge tried to tackle her* AY BACK OFF BRO.

Brotp: *fight breaks out*

Bladeswave: *coming in to check on the kids, freezing when they see the fight*

Heatwave: *looks at Blades* you're handling this, right?

Blades: wha- *looks over to see Heatwave already running and sighs*

Blades:

*a few minutes later*

Brotp:

*that evening*

Wedge: *walking around with his ripped up fishnets*

Chase: *freezes when Wedge walks past* Wedge? Is something wrong with your-

Wedge: no, sir *slams berthroom door closed*

*the next morning*

Wedge: *yEETS off the stockings* FREEDOM!!!!!! *tosses them at Medix* ALL YOURS! THANKS MEDIX!

Medix: *casually tosses them in the fire* don't mention it.