So -ScorpionKing- asked about Draco and I's first date. Even though he can be a bigheaded prude, he can be romantic. Also, this was the first time I ever saw him shy, which was rare. I hate to say this, but he was an egoistical jerk back then!

Draco: *From background* "No you don't!"

Me: *laughs* "No, I don't!"

Anyways, on with *dramatic pause* Le Story!

*melodic flashback harp*

Me: *walking down the halls* "And then, you would never guess what happened!"

My friend: //who wishes to remain secret// "Oh really?"

Me: "Yes! She punched him so hard she broke his nose! And he deserves it, for shagging her friend! Oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to tear apart his limbs one by one, how could he do that to her!"

Her: "That's great, seems like a nice guy, yup. Hey, I'm going to stop pretending to listening to what you're saying, and tell you some REAL drama..."

Me: *mad anime face* "Excuse me?!"

My friend: "Listen to me! Tori come on! Listennnnn! TORI IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW I WILL TELL CHA-" *is cut off by hand over mouth*

Me: "I'M LISTENING, JEEZ! YOU WEREN'T LISTENING BEFORE!"

Her: *waves it off* //you were such a jerk back then lol// "That doesn't matter. Did you hear The Gossip? You know, The Gossip?"

Me: "Uhhhhhh...no?"

Her: "Well, guess what!" 

Me: "Um, is-"

Her: "NOPE!" *bounces on balls of feet excitedly*

Me: "But I-"

Her: "ALL THE OLD SEVENTH YEARS FROM THE WAR ARE COMING BACK!"

Me: *gasps* "Really?! Even-oh...wait..."

Her: *smiles sympathetically* "They are visiting for one day! And maybe not all of them, but even HARRY FREAKING POTTER!"

ME: "...WHAT?! OH MY-wait...any Slytherins?"

Her: *wiggles eyebrows* "Any Slytherins in mind?"

Me: "Yeah, Pansy...*realizes what she's hinting at* NO NOT LIKE THAT! In the nicest possible way, how high are you?"

Her: *frowns* "I don't know, I-"

Me: *interuppting* "NEVERMIND THEN. Salazar, just tell me who's coming already!"

Her: "Ok, ok fine. So I'm guessing you just want Slytherins, correct?"

Me: "Yes, that's all."

Her: *counting on fingers* "Ok, so we have Pansy, Food Eater, Lazy Snake, Flirt City, and Metrosexual Man."

Me: "Yes, ugh not Theo, of course HE'S coming, my sister, and...Draco."

Her: *grimaces* "Yup, the Mr. Darcy himself. But hey! At least he is way hotter this year, and has that tragic past. You should totally date him! Your kids would look fabulous!"

Me: "NO NO NOPE EW GROSS WE ARE NOT HAVING KIDS, GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"

Her: *wiggles eyebrows* "I have the names already...for boys, girls, and both! You can name one Sparta, so you can introduce him around and say, this is Sparta! And the other will be called Turkey, so whenever you ask what they are having for dinner, say, why, Turkey of course! And the other one would be called *whispers something in Astoria's ear* so that whenever you need a babysitter, call them and ask them, 'Hey! Can you watch Po-"

Me: *slaps hand over her mouth* "OK DON'T NEED YOU TO FINISH THAT! Besides , we will NEVER get married. If we do, I swear I will die!"

Her : *gasps in shock* "What?! Do you not like my names?!"

Me: "I don't even get the references! I'm not a mu-muggleborn!"

Her: "SwEeT hOmE AlAbAmA..."

Me: "What? I don't even live in Alabama! I'm confused..."

Her: *bursts out laughing* "It's a muggle reference...OH MY- THEY'RE HERE!"

All the students of Hogwarts were craning their necks so hard to get a glimpse at the Boy Who Lived. I think I even heard a neck crack as someone tried to get a good look. 

Oh, please, I thought. Like he's going to notice us Slytherins.

As I made my way up the stairs, I couldn't help but overhear some gossiping girls talking to each other in hushed tones. 

"Oh wow, he is so dreamy now! What I wouldn't give to //GIVE HIM A FLOWER AND EAT NUTELLA WITH HIM!"//

"I know right?" Another girl said, giggling. "He's so hot and dramatic with his platinum blonde hair, silver eyes, and big //DANCING SUIT WITH SEQUINS AND A GLITTERY TUTU!//

Wait a second, I paused, lingering around their door frame. Harry Potter does not have blond hair...

"Oh my gosh!" The other girl burst out into giggles. "How do you know that?"

"Well, he's hot, so he has to have one, universal fact." The other girl, or Shallow girl #2 as I liked to think of her, told matter of factly. I decided that that was my cue to leave. Also, maybe rinse out my ears with soap, and maybe acid.

As I strode up to the library, I dwelled on what my friend said:

"...You should totally date him! Your kids would look fabulous!"

Confused as to why I was lingering on this, I shook my head and quickly went to pick up a book.

After all, there is no use dwelling on things that would never happen, and I know for a fact, that I will never, ever, date Draco Malfoy.

END OF PART ONE

...ALRIGHT VANESSA, THIS IS YOUR CUE TO ROLL END CREDITS

...NOW VANESSA

Vanessa: "UGH! I SUCK AT TECH STUFF, JUST ASK KAI TO DO IT! YOU JUST GOT TO PRY HIM AWAY FROM ADAM AND MIRA, SEESH!"

Me: "HEY! I HIRED YOU!"

Vanessa: "I QUIT!"

Me: "OH YEAH?! WELL GUESS WHAT! YOU'RE FIRED! HAH!"

Me: "...Yay me?"

ACTUAL END OF PART ONE