zohaven says, "Draco. I'm in a bad mood today, so I'm taking it out on you. You have to receive detentions from Professors Dumbledore, Snape, McGonnagal, and every DADA teacher until sixth year. Make sure that every way you get these detentions is different. Write the teachers' reactions. I'm such and angel, aren't I? Enjoy those detentions!"

Harper: *laughs* MALFOY YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!

Draco: Fine. This is pretty funny! I'm just dreading Umbridge's...

Harper: How must you get the detentions?

Draco: Pretty entertaining; I have my ways.

Harper: *smirks* Come on, Malfoy, this'll be interesting.

Draco and Harper walk down the hallways of Hogwarts, apparating with Professor Quirrel.

Quirrel: TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS EVERYONE BACK TO THEIR DORMS!

Draco: The Slytherin dorm is in the dungeons.

Quirrel: OMG MALFOY YOU ACT LIKE I CARE!

Draco: *laughing*

Quirrel: *rolls eyes*

Draco runs to a classroom and stands on the desk, singing the tune of American Idiot.

Draco: Don't wanna be an idiot teacher! *doing the worm across the desk*

Quirrel: MALFOY! GET OFF THAT DESK!

Draco: *lifting up a chair and doing a leprechaun dance* OOOHHH AND MY HIPS DON'T LIE!

Harper: *laughing*

Draco: *shakes his hips like a madman* WHOOOAAAAA!

Quirrel: MALFOY! DETENTION!

Draco: *stops doing weird dancing*

Draco and Harper exit the room and leave to find McGonnagal, turned into her cat form.

Draco: *doing thumbs down and doesn't applaud* BOOOOO!

McGonnagal: *turns back* DETENTION, MALFOY!

Draco and Harper: *laugh and walk out*

Draco and Harper walk up the stairs to find Professor Lockhart, but the version back from second year.

Draco: How did he get here?

Harper: I messed with time. *smirks*

Lockhart: I AM GILDEROY LOCKHART, I AM FAMOUS, I DID ALL THESE ADVENTURES!

Draco: No, no you didn't. Potter did. Harry f****g Potter saved your bloody a*s!

Lockhart: NO, MALFOY, I AM THE KING!

Draco: *singing the tune of You'll Be Back* I WILL STEAL! ALL THE CREDIT! FOR WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE WHILE I'VE STAYED, BEING LAZY, SITTING ON MY BUTT AND WRITING BOOKS ABOUT ALL YOUR ADVENTURES! WHEN THEY REALLY PATHETICALLY AREN'T YOURS!

Lockhart: MALFOY!

Draco: WHEN YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING YOURSELF!

Lockhart: DRACO MALFOY, SHUT UP!

Draco: CAUSE WHEN PUSH, COMES TO SHOVE!

Lockhart: DETENTION!

Draco: POTTER WILL SAVED YOUR ASS AND YOU'LL HAVE NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE! *starts dancing and swirling a cane around* DA DA DA DA DA! DA DA DA DA DAY-AH DA DA DA DA DA DAY AH DAAAAAH.

Lockhart: *hits Draco with a cane* MALFOY! DETENTION! AFTER DINNER!

Draco and Harper exit the room, laughing.

Harper: You're such a savage, Malfoy.

They walk over to the potions classroom to find Horace Slughorn, making potions at his desks. Draco makes cockroaches appear all over his classroom. He starts killing the cockroaches with the tools that are supposed to be used for potion making.

Slughorn: DRACO MALFOY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Draco: Killing cockroaches.

Slughorn: WITH TEST TUBES?!

Draco: *smashes the test tube* Yup.

Slughorn: DETENTION, MALFOY!

Draco: Repairo! *the ingredients fix themselves*

Draco and Harper then walk over to the Room of Requirement, only to find Harry Potter sitting in the corner, reading an old textbook.

Draco: OI, HARRY!

Harry: Malfoy, you called me Harry!

Draco: Er... my father will hear about this. Sorry, Potter. I just need your help.

Harry: On what?

Draco: Well, for a dare that zohaven gave me, I was supposed to get detention from Quirrel, Lockhart, McGonnagal, Slughorn, Snape, Crouch, Lupin, and Umbridge. How do I annoy Lupin? He's pretty hard to annoy!

Harry: *laughing* Is this the same person that dared my dad to light his hair, Sirius's hair, and Remus's clothes on fire all at the same time?

Harper: *nods*

Harry: *laughs* Also the one to do the Draco Potter Puppet Pals Dare?

Draco: I think so. The admin's not sure. This person loves giving me odd dares, but they're fun to complete.

Harry: *laughing*

Draco: Shut it, POTTER!

Harry: Do you want my help or not?

Draco: Yes, I do.

Harry: For Umbridge, defend me and say that I'm right and Voldy's back and all that crap. Next, for Crouch, bully the crud out of Harper or I. For Lupin, talk smack about the Marauders. For Snape—

Draco: *smirks* I know what I wanna do for Snape. For Crouch, I have an idea.

Draco, Harry, and Harper walk down the hallway. Harper apparates with Barty Crouch Jr polyjuiced as Mad-Eye Moody.

Moody: What do you want, Malfoy.

Harper: *whispers to Draco* SWING ON A POLE?!

Draco: *looks appalled*

Harper: *whisper/yelling* Do it!

Draco: *starts swinging on a pole* *in the tune of Diva by Beyoncé* IMMA A FERRET IMMA IMMA FERRET IMMA A FERRET IMMA IMMA A FERRET!

Harper: *singing with Draco* I gotta big Ferret....

Draco: IMMA A FERRET! IMMA IMMA A FERRET *falls from badly swinging on a pole* IMMA IMMA A FERRET! IMMA A FERRET IMMA IMMA A FERRET!

Harper: I gotta big ferret, whoa oh whoa oh!

Draco: *transfigures random things into ferrets* IMMA A FERRET IMMA IMMA A FERRET IMMA A FERRET IMMA IMMA A FERRET! IMMA A FERRET!

Crouch: *looking shocked as his whole classroom is slowly being transfigured into a ferret habitat* MALFOY!

Draco: Looking all around with a little ferret here and little ferrets everywhere!

Crouch: DRACO MALFOY! *transfigures everything back the way it was* *turns him into a ferret and tosses him off the Astronomy tower*

Harry: DRACO THE FLYING FERRET!

Draco: *gets transfigured back into himself* Don't. Tell. A. Soul. That counted as detention, right?

Harper: I guess so.

Harper, Harry, and Draco walk down the hallway. Harper apparates back with Umbridge.

Umbridge: Hello, class, we will be stalling and learning about nothing.

Draco: VOLDEMORT'S BACK!

Umbridge: Say what now, Malfoy? Also, Malfoy, raise your hand.

Draco: F**K YOU, WHO DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KISS A DEMENTOR?!

Umbridge: MALFOY! DETENTION!

Draco, Harry, and Harper then go to another classroom. Harper apparates back with Remus Lupin.

Remus: *hugs Harry* Harry!

Harry: *hugs back* Hi, Professor Lupin!

Remus: Just call me Remus, I'm not your professor anymore.

Draco: *smirks* Hey, Professor Lupin?

Remus: Yes?

Draco: Do you fancy a certain black dog?

Remus: No, why?

Draco: I know exactly who you fancy. I will use that against you and kill all your family if you don't tell me it's true.

Remus: What?

Draco: I KNEW WOLFSTAR WAS REAL!

Remus: What...? I'm so confused.

Draco: PROFESSOR LUPIN AND POTTER'S WEIRD GODFATHER, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES BREAKING THE LAW, THEN COMES LITTLE MINI CUBS RUNNING AROUND!

Remus: *blushes* Draco? This is really awkward. Why is my former student interrogating me on my love life?

Draco: *turns all the pictures into pictures of Sirius Black*

Harry: *laughs uncontrollably* This is hilarious!

Draco: The Marauders were so stupid! What was that map even for anyway!

Remus: It was actually pretty useful.

Draco: Maybe it was useful for you to find Harry's s**t godfather—

Remus: DON'T CALL HIM THAT! DON'T INSULT HARRY EITHER, I KNOW YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT IT!

Draco: Maybe you and Sirius could transition together? On your time of the month!

Remus: DRACO!

Draco: Ooh! And I despise deers. And all black dogs. And wolfs. And I love little rats.

Remus: DRACO! DETENTION!

Draco: I DID IT!

Remus: *laughing* Some dares are truly odd, if you ask me.

Draco, Harper, and Hermione then walk to Professor Snape's classroom. Draco walks up to Snape, ruffling his greasy hair.

Draco: *messing up Snape's hair* How's my precious little godfather doing?

Snape: *groans* Draco, what must you be doing at midnight in my office?

Harper: *hands Draco a random bottle of Dove Shampoo and a box of Always pads*

Draco: Just checking on you. You know, to see if you've washed that greasy mop yet?

Snape: Draco, I'm fine, how are you? And Potter? Granger? What are you doing here?

Draco: *thinking of random ideas to annoy Snape, immediately thinking of Snarry* Are you into Snarry?

Snape: No, he's my student.

Draco: Come on, Snape, use your always pads for me!

Snape: *coldly* *raises eyebrows* Draco Malfoy, you're acting as strange as ever.

Draco: *ruffles his hair* Just to let you know; Voldemort sucks. Umbridge sucks. And Harry Potter is amazing!

Snape: DETENTION!

They walk out of the classroom. They have successfully gotten Draco way too many detentions. Quirrel's detention was cleaning trophies. Lockhart's was signing fan main and plagiarizing Harry's signature.

Draco: Why am I your servant?

Lockhart: BECAUSE I'M FAMOUS!

Draco: *scoffs* *smirks*

McGonnagal's was mopping the floors. Umbridge's was the blood quill.

Draco: *writing I Must Not Be a Fool over and over on his hand*

Umbridge: Good. 100 more times!

Draco: *his hand is bleeding uncontrollably*

Harper: You okay, mate?

Harry: Oh my lord. This is awful.

Snape's was cleaning his classroom. They enter Slughorn's office.

Slughorn: OOH! Let's tell great stories about Harry Potter!

Draco: NOOOO! NOT POTTER! MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Then, they enter Lupin's random room. Remus shows Draco a boggart.

Lucius: *steps out of the thing* What did I tell you, Draco?

Draco: To not associate with people below me...

Lucius: No. Not people below me. Since you're already at the bottom of the food chain. *moves his staff*

Remus: RIDIKKULUS!

Draco: *smiles* Thanks, Lupin.

Remus: Probably a normal detention would work best. You, Harper, and Harry have to clean this room. And I'll watch you suffer. *smirks*

Harper, Harry, and Draco clean the classroom while Remus sits and watches them fail miserably at cleaning.

Remus: This was a dare, eh?

Draco: *nods* Yup. You should've seen how I roasted Lockhart!

Remus: How so?

Harper: She told him how he was stealing credit and that Harry saved his butt and now he's insane. *smiles*

Remus: *smiles at Harry and Harper* I knew I liked you.

Draco: *jokingly* What about me?

Remus: *jokingly* You're chopped liver.

They all exit the classroom. Draco, Harper, and Harry apparate back to Aberforth's house.

Draco: *sighs* Leave, POTTER!

Harry: No! I know you love me!

Draco: I don't!

Harper: THAT. WAS. HILARIOUS.

That was kind of fun, to irritate everyone like that. Oh, come on. I know you want it. *smirks* Well, I better get going.

Have any more questions for me? Comment them here.

Have any more dares for me? Comment them here.

My father will hear about this,