Shrapnel: Winter, I'm telling you this because it's my wedding day...

Winter: Yep

Shrapnel: I'm telling you this because you are my best man.

Winter: That's right.

Shrapnel: And I say this out of love...

Shrapnel: ...TAKE OFF THAT STUPID HAT!

*Winter was currently wearing a cowboy hat, with sequins*

Winter: Why you gotta cramp my style?

*Shrapnel took the hat off and threw it aside*

Winter: Meanie.

Shrapnel: Winter, I need you to behave just for today.

Winter: When was I not well behaved?

Shrapnel: Uh--

Winter: Don't answer that.

Winter: Now, let's get you ready. Do have something old?

Shrapnel: Uh, I have a pendant from the Smoldering.

Winter: Good. Something new.

Shrapnel: Kinkajou just gave me a flower crown.

Winter: Make sure to throw that away. Next, something borrowed?

Shrapnel: I borrowed a piece of skyfire from the sky.

Winter: Close enough! Now, all you need is something blue.

Winter: ...I got it!

*Winter pulled something out, and put it on Shrapnel's head. It was blue cowboy hat*

Winter: Heh?

Shrapnel: I disown you.

Later:

*A wedding ceremony was prepared, and Shrapnel was waiting by the alter for Umber to arrive. The seats were filled with both Shrapnel's and Umber's families*

Marsh: Aw! This is so exciting!

Reed: Yeah, I'm so happy for Umber.

Sora: Me too.

Marsh: Hey, sis. Isn't that Icicle?

Sora: What?

*Sora turned, and both her and Icicle were looking at each other face to face*

Sora's Mind: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Icicle's Mind: Shit! Shit! Shit!

Sora: ...

Sora: On second thought, bros. Let's sabotage this wedding.

Marsh: If you say so.

Reed: I'll love sabotaging with the family.

*the three MudWings sneaked off, just when the music started playing. Umber walked in, with Clay by his side. Clay then left to take a seat, when Umber reached the alter*

Shrapnel: You look nice...

Umber: *blushes* Thanks. You look hot-- NICE! You look nice.

Shrapnel: *chuckles*

Winter: It's not even my wedding day, and I already feel nauseous.

Qibli: Hey, Winter...

Winter: Qibli, what the hell? Sit your ass back down, the ceremony's about to start.

Qibli: Yeah...I just saw Umber's siblings sneaking away, I'm pretty sure they're going to burn this place to the ground.

Winter: Fuck! I'll be right back! *walks off*

Qibli: Where are going?

Winter: As best man, it's my responsibility to punch some MudWings in the face.

Qibli: That's not really what the occupant is for--

Winter: It is for me.

*After Winter left, Turtle started the ceremony*

Turtle: Dearly beloved, we are here to bring these two together in holy matrimony.

Tundra: Skip to the part where we get half of their assets!

Turtle: We talked about this, Tundra!

Tundra: FUCK YOU!

Turtle: *sigh*

Meanwhile:

Sora: Are we almost done?

Reed: Almost.

Winter: *barges in* HOLD UP-- what the fuck?

*The MudWings were carrying out the table filled with food*

Winter: What the fuck are you doing?

Marsh: You can't have a wedding without the main buffet!

Winter: Why are you trying to ruin the wedding?

Sora: Because I don't want my relative in law to be that murderer!

Winter: Well, you're not gonna change anything by taking away the buffet.

Sora: That's what these are for *holds up rings*

Winter: Shit!

Meanwhile:

Turtle: Now, for rings. Clay?

Clay: On it! *searches for rings, then pauses*

Clay: Uh...

Umber: You forgotten the rings, didn't you?

Clay: UH....

Meanwhile:

Winter: No more games! Gimmie those rings back!

*Sora takes a turkey from the table and throws it at Winter's head*

Winter: OW! That was a shit move!

*Winter ran up to Sora and tackled her, causing both them to roll across the floor*

Meanwhile:

Turtle: Well, we can't finish this wedding without the rings, so--

*Winter and Sora suddenly rolled to the center of the ceremony, still fighting over the rings*

Umber: Sora!

Sora: *pauses* Oh no.

*Umber ran up to her*

Umber: *beams* You have the rings! Thank you!

Sora: Uh...yeah, your welcome *gives him rings*

*Umber hugs her*

Umber: You're the best!

Sora: Yeah...

*Umber returns to the alter*

Sora: Three moons! I can't believe I was so close to ruining my brother's big day!

Winter: Also, you fucking punched me in the lip!

*at the alter, Shrapnel and Umber put on their rings, and Turtle nodded*

Turtle: I know pronounce you mates!

*Shrapnel and Umber kissed, and everyone cheered*

Tundra: Now give us your money!

Winter: MOM!