Autumn's point of view

I pulled my legs up to my chest and then buried my face between my knees. I was so confused on how I felt and I couldn't just talk to anyone about it.

Ashton would kill me if he found out I kind of liked Calum and Taylor, well, she's immediately out of the photo. Luke is probably sleeping with Taylor so that rules him out. Michael is related to Taylor so he'd immediately choose her side.

Then Calum... I can't tell him. If I spoke to him about this, it'd be telling your crush how you felt. I do not want to do that. I'm scared to do that because I'm still with Taylor.

I tried talking to her, but everytime I do she ends up getting out of it and leaving with Michael or Luke. I tried hanging out with her to get her alone but she never wants too.

I'm tired of it but I love her so much and I don't know what to do.

Tears of frustration filled my eyes and I dug my nails into my skinny jeans. "Fuck." I said and grabbed my pillow, throwing it at the door.

I sniffled and then closed my eyes as I leaned my head back into the headboard. "Autumn? Are you okay?" I heard Ashton's voice and I froze a bit.

"No." I said as the door creaked opened. I felt the bed dip and then I opened my eyes. I looked at him and he motioned me to scoot over rowards him, so I did.

He wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his tank-top a bit. "Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay." He told me and I didn't respond. "I promise you okay? It'll be okay."

"W-Where's-"

"Taylor? She left with Calum and Luke to the store earlier. They needed some new flannels and jeans and she needed something too I guess." He said and I chuckled humorlessly.

"Probably Hemmings' dick in the dressing room."

"What?" He asked me and I shook my head. "What is going on between Taylor and Luke? They're too close to be friends."

"I know." I said, my sadness being replaced with anger in mere seconds. "It's pissing me off but she never wants to fucking talk about it and I can't keep doing this." I said and he ran a hand through my hair.

"Maybe....Maybe you two should take a break-"

"I want to but I can never talk to her!" I said and then pinched the bridge of my nose. "She won't let me talk to her about it and yet she gets jealous over me and Calum." I grumbled and he rubbed my back.

"Need a beer, some Netflix, and some pizza?" He asked me and I smiled, chuckling lightly.

"Instead of Netflix, can we just play some Good Charlotte?" I asked and he nodded. We got up and he took me into the living room.

"Sit, I'll get the beer and order pizza." He told me and I nodded. I pulled my phone out and then all of a sudden, I got a text from Calum with a picture of Luke and Taylor kissing.

I blinked the tears away and then deleted the message. I knew it. I tried to believe it wasn't true, I tried to believe they were just friends, but they weren't. I shouldn't have been so naive... so stupid.

It was fucking obvious they had something but I was so far up her ass that I tried to force myself to believe it wasn't true.

I went to my playlist as I shook my head and soon, 'The Young And The Hopeless' album was coming from my phone. I set it on the coffee table and then set my fist over my mouth, biting into it slightly to keep from sobbing.

I wiped my eyes and tried to closed them but that damned picture was in my head and I couldn't do anything about it. It was burned into my mind.

"Pizza's coming and here's a beer." I took the bottle from him and then took a drink. "Why are you crying?" He asked and I looked at him.

"Do you think... Do you think Luke is better than me?" I asked and he seemed taken back by the question as he sat down on the other side of the couch. "Honestly."

"Of course not." He said and I looked at him. "Why would you ask?" He hummed as he took a drink of his own beer bottle.

"I need to figure out why the fuck she's kissing him when she could be with me." I said and he looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"She's cheating on you?"

"Yes." I said and gulped down some more of my Corona. "She's fucking kissing him and getting with him and I'm here with a beer bottle." I said and he chuckled lightly.

"You deserve better than her then." He told me and I looked at him. "I feel like I'm going to vomit at this, but you can Calum would make a cute couple."

I chuckled and looked down and my lap. "No, absolutely not. I can't do that." I said. "He's your best friend, Luke's best friend, Michael's bear friend, and she's known him longer than I have. It'd ruin everything."

"I don't think it would but it's whatever you want Autumn." He told me and I nodded. "Should I just bring the whole case of beers out here?"

"If you're planning on drinking some tomorrow, then no." I said and he stood up. "You're a lifesaver." I called out as he went to get the case.

"So I've been told."

I rolled my eyes and then downed the last of my beer. I set the bottle on the table and then leaned back as I looked down at my lap.

God, where's Calum when you need him? I know he wouldn't mind grinding on me again, and I wouldn't either actually. I'd encourage him to.

"Here." I looked and Ashton had brought the case out. He handed me a bottle opener and I took it. As soon as he sat down, the doorbell rang and I laughed. "Fuck." He whined and stood up again.

I opened a bottle and then set the bottle opener on the table. I took a drink and then crossed my legs. The song 'Riot Girl' played and I laughed because Taylor dedicated this song to me.

"Pizza is served." Ashton said and set down two boxes on the coffe table beside the beer. "Good God, I'm going to have to work out so hard the next few weeks." He told me as he opened it.

"It's called having a lot of sex and doing concerts." I told him and he laughed. "The two greatest things in your life I presume?"

"Nah," he said and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Sex is great but being with the people who make you happy and who don't judge you is better." He told me.

"I wouldn't know that feeling." I said and he just looked at me. "The last twelve years were spent with a self-centered asshole who judged every move I made and made me anything but happy."

"Dad?" I just nodded and reached for a slice of pizza.

"Taylor made me happy." I said and played with the slice. "She helped me forget that he was an deadbeat. She helped me get through tough times and made me smile on days I didn't even want to be alive." I told him as my eyes watered.

"Autu-"

"She made everything okay Ashton." I said and looked at him. "She made me feel loved and needed and important. She made me feel like I was worth something and now-"

"Autumn," he said and I threw the pizza back into the box, using the top lid.

"Now she's fucking with Mr. Rockstar and I'm nothing." I said and drank my beer as tears fell. "I'm absolutely nothing."

"You don't need someone to make you feel as if you're worth something Autumn." He told me. "You're a bright young woman." He said and I laughed.

"Sure." I said, not believing the blonde. "I'm shit compared to Hemmings and I just can't believe it." I sighed, not noticing the door was open.

"You're not. Luke helped her cheat and that means he's shit compared to you." He told me and I laughed. "Cheating and helping someone cheat is terrible."

"Because I'm some hot blonde with blue eyes that could get any chick she wants." I said with a roll of my eyes. "I'm nothing. No wonder why she wants him."

"Luke's not better than you." I heard Calum's voice. "He's a dick and only thinks with his dick."

"Where's Taylor and Luke?"

"They said they were coming back but I guess they went off to be alone." Calum said and I squeezed my beer bottle so hard, I thought it'd break in my hand.

"Just fucking great." I shouted and drank the rest of my second bottle. I immediately grabbed a third, but Ashton stopped me before I could open it.

"No no no, I think you've had enough." Ashton said and I gave him a glare. "Drinking away problems doesn't help."

"Right now, my girlfriend is probably getting fucked by your bandmate and she told me she wasn't into guys like that." I said lowly. "I think I can have a third fucking bottle."

I took the bottle opener and popped the cap off of it. "Guess who's fucking single again," I muttered. "This chick." I said and drank about a quarter of the bottle in one drink.

"I'd say we should go to a club to get your mind off of this but Ashton already bought pizza and we already have beer." Calum said and I looked at him.

"I wouldn't mind going to one just to get laid." Ashton said and I rolled my eyes. "Hey, sex burns calories and that pizza? Damn, so many calories." He said and I laughed.

"I'm with you." I said. "I don't even care that I'm not properly single yet. It's been a month, a whole month, and I haven't gotten shit in bed." I said. "Most I got was teased and grinded on."

"Should we?"

"Fuck the pizza, we can eat that tomorrow." Ashton said and I laughed. "I'm getting dressed." He said and stood up. He set his bottle on the table and I watched as he ran up to his room.

"Are you sure you want to go? After all, you just found out she's cheating on you." Calum said and sat down beside me.

"Fuck, Calum, you don't think I knew? I've always been suspicious of them." I said. "At the club I saw them make out too but I didn't pay much attention because of you."

"Because of me?"

"Yep." I said and drank some more of my beer. "Now, after I finish this bottle you need to get up because I am in desperate need to forget about all of this with some random girl or guy I won't remember in two days."

"Why does it have to be some random girl or guy?" He asked as he uncrossed my legs. He straddled my lap like when we were at the lake and I set my hands on his hips.

"It doesn't." I said, picking up on his actions. "It's just less drama if I don't know the person." I said and he leaned forward.

"So, I can't help in this situation?"

"Oh, you can do more than help Calum." I said and pressed my lips against his. He sat shocked at the action because I never kissed him on the lips but he soon kissed me back.

"Fuck, Calum, grind on me again please." I said against his lips and he did as I said. They weight of his body and the fact was was right above my crotch just drove me inside. He knows what he's doing and I love it.

I bit his bottom lip and he gasped softly. He parted his lips for me and I did the same. He allowed my tongue to invade his mouth and I squeezed his hips.

He ran a hand through my hair and I tilted my head back into his touch, breaking the kiss. "We're dropping Ash off and then I'm taking you home after we dance a bit." He told me and I chuckled.

"I'm down for that, but right now, keep moving your hips, it feels so good."