Kill me now....I've tried and tried again and somehow it won't kill me all the way only send me to the hospital...I don't wanna be there....I want to be with John...my best friend.. our best friend....he's been gone for 2 years now..and everyday...it's worse than the last...today was the day he died...he committed....he left me a note saying how much he was sorry and how much he loved me...but never told why he did it...ans I'm such an idiot for not trying harder to save him...it's did everything I could...but I should have tried harder...*tiers up*....I don't think I should be here....I can't make anyone happy....I can't have love...I can't have happyness....ansll I have is sadness....I'm sorry.....for flirting with the one I have a crush on.....I'm sorry you believe that I'm a user when I really am not.....I'm sorry........for everything...

I miss him my best friend
I miss love
I miss being loved truly
I miss being special to someone
I miss being liked...