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Sometimes, I wondered what my life would be like if I didn't meet Asher. My mind never came up with an answer. Maybe, I would have been living the same old way or the universe would have shown me some mercy. Other times I wondered if I want to go back to my old life and my mind came up with an immediate answer, it was no.

Definitely, no.

"What are you thinking?" I pulled away a little so I could look at him. The sleepy butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I stared at his face partially glowing from the light coming through the window. I never ever imagined myself being so close to this beautiful man. I never thought he'd ever let me.

"You're comfortable." He stated, looking at me with tired eyes. His hair was ruffled, falling over his forehead.

"I am." a small laugh escaped me and it caught his attention. The corner of his lips was curving up but he resisted. Asher could lie to me but his eyes never did. He liked when I laughed, I think that's the only thing he liked about me.

He looked out of the window before turning his attention back to me. We were still in the limousine. I didn't know why we weren't heading back to the hotel but I guess it was better this way. Even though it was a little awkward knowing  our chauffeur, Mark, could possibly hear us even with the partition wall in between us. We were closer in the dark. He had his hands on me and I had mine on him. The hesitation in his touch was gone. Sometimes, he'd making three circles on the small of my back with his thumb.

"What is it like to be comfortable?" He questioned, running a hand down my hair catching me off gaurd by both his words and action. I shivered and my stomach coiled.

"You...you aren't comfortable right now? I frowned at him.

"I don't know."

He had a distant look on his face, I wanted to know where his mind took him. I moved my hand up his chest, my fingers feeling his neck becoming tense under my touch. His skin was so warm. I stood on my knees that were either side of him and leaned forward until my lips were on his again. Asher froze for a second before he slipped his tongue in my mouth, grabbing the back of my neck and tilting my head a little. His other hand moved up and down my thigh, squeezing it once in a while. I was a goner the second he kissed me. His pulse throbbed under my touch. He pulled me even closer to the point where we were almost rubbing on each other. I moaned into his mouth as his hand ran down my hair and fisted it, pulling on it. my whole body was blushing and shaking. Each second I was fading away into another place which was better, where everything was happier, where only Asher and I existed.

I pulled away, "-This," I moved in again pressing my lips to his and he let out a faint groan. I pulled away again. "How do you feel?"

He looked at me like I've asked him the most ridiculous question. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"What are you, My therapist?"

"Do you want to get out of here?" I asked, completing ignoring the surprise and sarcasm in his voice.

"Yes." He kissed my neck and I shuddered closing my eyes to collect myself.

"Why?" It was an almost.

"If I don't I might take you right here and let Mark here all that he wants to."

"You're disgusting." My nose scrunched up in disgust while my insides twisted at his words and a slight ache moved down to my core. I wanted him.

"And shameless." He stated making me shake my head. Sometimes I was all in and the rest of the time I was on the threshold. Right now, I'd let him take me any way that he'd want to.

"You're comfortable." I whispered, I kissed his cheek my lips lingering on his skin. His fingers dug into my skin, he wasn't even breathing. I pulled away a bit worried about his reaction. The dark sinful look in his eyes reassured me and I sighed. He was such a complicated man.

"How do you know, I'm good at putting up an act don't you remember?" His gaze caressed my face.

"I would curl up to my mother's side whenever the lights went out. My rushing heart would slow and my body would mold against hers, I can still feel my skin vibrate with comfort and warmth. The monsters would disappear-" I smiled at nothing and closed my eyes. God, I missed her so much. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me the same way he was looking at me in the cabin. "She used to say we are the consequence of our mind not our actions. It's our mind that fucks up and then our actions follow. Your mind is at ease, so are your actions. If that isn't being comfortable I don't know what is."

He was quiet for a while, not even once did he take his eyes off my face.
"Your mother seems like a wise woman."

"She is." I cleared my throat. "I can't change your ways but-" I caught myself before I spilled something foolish and desperate out of my mouth.

"But?"

"Nothing." I shook my head and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Say it." It was a command and I knew I couldn't disobey it.

"I wonder what you would be like if you lived in the present." with me.

"I'm living in the present." He said but I didn't believe him.

"Most times you're not. You fade away often. What if I fail to bring you back?" I sounded hopelessly in love and it made me want to hide away. Asher stared at me while I looked down, counting the buttons on his shirt. He let out a breath and gripped my waist. We were in a compromising position, a little moment and I'd be grinding on my husband. I couldn't do that even if my body ached for it.

"You will always fail. It's my choice if I want to come back or not." He was right. My heart shrunk a little.

"Do you?"

"Most of the time I don't want to come back." His admission was painful. I didn't know if I would ever forget his words.

He didn't want to come back...

"Where do you go?" I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I felt his jaw against my head as I buried my face in his neck and then his lips pressed gently in my hair. I thought I would pass out from the intensity of love that ran through my body for me. I wanted to hold him and cry. I gritted my teeth and fisted his shirt.

"By the waters." He whispered, inhaling deeply.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm right here." I could tell he was smiling for some reason.

"You were gone a few seconds back. Where did you go?" I pulled back to look at him

"Back to that cabin, I couldn't stop watching you sleep. His knuckle grazed across my forehead as I watched him, I  tried to memorize as much as I could of tonight. "You were at peace." His knuckle grazed down the bridge of my nose to the bottom of my lips and rested on my chin. I blinked at him. He looked so deep in thought, I think this time he took me to wherever he drifted away.

I didn't know what to say, I just stared at him. I was so close to him still I hesitated to hug him. So I placed my hand on his jaw and kissed the corner of his mouth. My thumb stroked his skin and he inhaled. I wasn't a tiny person but I felt nothing but tiny at that moment, his lean, large figure always stood out. I moved back then got off him. He didn't say anything. Just pressed a button on his left.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked out of nowhere. I just wanted him to pull me back into his arms. But, he didn't.

"No. Tomorrow we leave for Capri after brunch with the family. "

After brunch with the family. That was the part I didn't like knowing Lily was going to be there.

I couldn't figure out why but I was kind of nervous as Asher and I walked towards our room. Asher seemed calm as he walked beside me. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Asher unlocked the door while my stomach turned into knots. He pushed the door opened but didn't walk in, I looked at him and he tipped his chin towards the room telling me to get in , so I did. The moment I walked in the room the door slammed shut drawing my attention, I spinned around and my heart dropped as I stared at the closed door. Confused, hurt and angry.  Tears filled my eyes as Asher lingered on my lips, my skin, he was all around me and still I couldn't touch him.

Sleep took over me as soon as my limp body landed on the soft mattress. I somehow got myself out of bed and got rid of my makeup, I remember nothing of the journey I made from the bathroom to the bed. The tangy smell of washed bed sheets surrounded me and that was the last thing I remembered.

I woke up to the smell of coffee and early Sorrento. My chest was hollow yet heavy. The bed sheet on the empty side  was crease-less. He never slept in the room. Then where was he? I wondered if he was okay and scowled at nothing.
I could still feel him everywhere. I felt like I belonged until he made me realise I didn't. I was across the world, somewhere I never thought I'd be. I didn't want to waste time in bed sulking so I decided to take a shower and cool off before looking for him.

I didn't know what was wrong. I was either feeling a lot or nothing at all. The numbness was spreading down my body like a deadly infection as I washed him off of me. There were no tears, no hurting, everything was still and then I heard the door open, my breath hitched and the numbness was washed over by goosebumps. I hated he had that affect on me.

I quickly got out of the shower and decided on wearing a short baby blue summer dress, it reminded me of the clear sky. My hair was up in a bun. I checked my phone and as always there was nothing. I walked in the room and my eyes immediately found him and his found mine, there were fireworks in my stomach. I could still feel his lips on mine. My unrequited love was blossoming again. He had a navy blue button up shirt which molded around his broad shoulders perfectly and blue jeans on, his hair a little messed up just the way he liked it to be. I gave him a small smile and he nodded.

"I don't have your number." I said out of nowhere, He looked down at my phone while my eyes moved down his body. Awkward conversations were better than nothing at all.

We were both blue, just a different shade.

"You don't need my number." He frowned slightly. I realised I missed his voice.

"Of course, I do. What if I get lost?" I pointed out walking a little closer to him.

He stared at me then narrowed his eyes slightly. "Give me your phone." He bellowed and I thought twice before handing my phone to him. I hated his mood swings. His fingers slightly brushed against my skin and the touch caught our attention, his eyes met mine for a second before he looked away,  he quickly took the phone and stared at it like it was the most annoying thing.

"What crap are you using?" He snapped at me. He was right, my phone was utter crap. It legit looked like it went to hell and back but nonetheless it worked. Heat rose up my neck and I tried to look unfazed even though I knew he was judging me and probably thinking why I didn't get a new phone.

"Just save your number and give me my phone back." I shot back, folding my arms across my chest, looking everywhere but at him.

He threw my phone on the bed beside me when he was done. "Come on, I don't want to hear about being late from my mother."

"Same, let's go." I slipped my sneakers on and threw a sling bag that crossed my chest and rested on my hip. Asher gave me a look before he started walking. I hated that judgemental look in his eyes.

"She can be annoying." He muttered and I couldn't help but cackle. 

"Very annoying." I agreed and his lips threatened to curve into a smile. I cleared my throat.

"Do you realise we're bitching about your mother?" I bumped into his side and smiled.

"Yeah and I'm enjoying it."

I shook my head looking down at the cobblestones. We were in the backyard of the hotel that faced the sea and it couldn't have been any better. The sun, the turquoise water, the bright colours, the happiness that floated everywhere. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

"I wish we could stay here forever." I sighed as the warm sun caressed my skin.

"I'm not very fond of this place." His voice held no emotions.

"That's a lie, this place is so beautiful. How can you not?" I reached and pulled the claw clip out of my hair and let my hair tumble down my shoulders. Asher watched me with vacant a look on his face.

"My memories aren't." He deadpanned.

"Then you can make new ones." I suggested happily.

"I'm least interested."

"Good for you." To say I was annoyed would be an understatement. Why was he so cranky, it wasn't even noon yet?

"It is." Asher said. We reached the dining area on the porch that was overlooking the sea. I immediately found five pairs of eyes staring at us. One of them belonged to Scarlett. My eyes moved to Lily, Scott, Callum, Clayton and my frown deepened. I didn't know how Scarlett was going to act after last night. I didn't care about Lily. Clayton reminded me of Charlie. Charlie's cunningly beaten up face flashed in front of me, I shook my head trying to get his words and his face out of my mind. I hope he didn't have any major injuries, I hope he was hurting, though. The mere thought of him made heaviness settle in my chest.

"Good afternoon, love birds." I smiled while Asher stared at Clayton like he wanted to punch the living hell out of him. I knew Clayton said that on purpose. His eyes moved to Lily so did mine, she seemed to be fuming under the hot sun. Her beautiful face was etched with anger and jealousy. I wasn't even surprised at this point.  she was wearing a deep V- neck shirt that fitted her like a glove. I've always admired her beauty and the way she took care of little details. Like her manicured tips, dainty jewelry, soft makeup. She was always dressed to impress. I pulled a chair out and sat down, Asher sat beside me.

I nodded at Scarlett feeling at bit afraid to talk to her, and she nodded back with a smile which made me ease into my chair.

"I'm famished. Let's place the order now that everyone is here." Scott announced and I smiled.

It took me a second to realise that breakfast here was going to be different from what we had back home. I knew nothing about Italian breakfast and I didn't want to make a fool of myself by ordering pancakes.

Just when I was about to lean into Asher asking him to help me order Lily spoke.
"You remember this place, Asher?" Every head snapped in her direction. I frowned in confusion. I somehow knew she was putting an end to what could have been a perfect day.

"Things were so much better, don't you think?" She continued. There was one thing common on everyone's face...a knowing look. I couldn't think of anything. Asher stared at lily, his face held nothing. It seemed like he was looking through lily.

Lily looked down at her glass of water and sighed. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." She wasn't sorry. She knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to ruin our vacation. she could have atleast waited for an hour. I didn't want to deal with this. I was starving. I needed food, nothing else.

"Then why did you?" The word tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Her eyes narrowed at me. "It's none of your... wait a second—"Lily looked at Asher with wide eyes. "You didn't tell her." It wasn't a question. Realisation settled on her features. There was something so indescribable on her face it irked me. A selfish emotion. She seemed relieved and happy?

"No." Asher's words held a sharp edge.

"Tell me what?" I turned to him but he kept staring at Lily.

"Lily, not a word more." I stared at Asher in disbelief. I knew he had secrets. I knew he had a life I didn't know about. I just hated the fact lily was somehow a part of it.

Lily looked between Asher and I.

I gulped, looking around the table to see eyes full of pity , looking at me. Pity, was the last thing I wanted. I wanted answers. I deserved to know what was going on.

My eyes moved to Clayton and he nodded at me. It was his way to comfort to me but it didn't help. I took a deep breath, I wanted the earth to open up ans swallow me whole. I was being humiliated and I didn't deserve any of it.

"I'm sorry, I need to be alone." Lily said, she sounded like she was about to cry. I wished I could lean on to someone, soak in the sun, forget that I have a husband, forget that I was a burden and just listen to the waves. Fuck, Lily. Fuck, Asher.

"No." Asher snapped, his voice felt hollow for some reason.

"Ash-"

"Sit the fuck down."

"I can't." Lily got up and left, to my surprise Asher stood up and followed her. No, I wasn't surprised, I was hurt. I felt betrayed. Why was he following her. Why did he care? I stared at the two figures leaving us all behind and my heart constricted.

"I'm going to get something to drink, tag along Callum." Scott pushed his chair back and started walking away from the scene.

"Of course!" Callum gave me a nod and left before I could even blink.

"Sophie." Someone said my name and I blinked looking up at Clayton

"Yes."

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked cautiously.

No, I don't want a drink. I want to disappear from Asher's life a never be found again.

"Yes, that would be nice." I gave him a small smile.

"Scarlett-"

"You kids go get some drinks, I'm going to head back to my room." Scarlett left abruptly, she didn't even look at me.

Clayton brought me a fruit mocktail, he had a glass of what I believed to be white vine. I looked over the endless sea as I held the cold glass in my hand. I couldn't think. I couldn't feel. All I knew was Asher left with Lily. All I could see was myself breaking as I enjoyed a drink with my husband's best friend. The slight tremors running up my fingers, unshed tears, an aching heart was all I had.

"What's happening?" I tried to sound calm. I made surely he couldn't see the storm within me, knocking me out and the painful waves that crashed against my chest.

"This is not my place to say."

I nodded.

"Where did he go?" I asked Clayton.

"To the shore."

I went quiet. We drank in silence. I  wanted to see him. I wanted to know what was going on.  I turned to look at Clayton to find him already gazing at me.

Clayton was holding back. I could tell he wanted to tell me something but he was bound by a friendship. I searched his blue eyes for something but found nothing. I noticed, he looked tired like he didn't get enough sleep or nothing at all.

"You were with him last night." I stated, a frown appearing on my face.

He nodded taking a long sip.

"Why?"

"Perks of having an insomniac friend; you have to stay up with them." Clayton flashed me a charming smile and my stomach turned in knots. 

"That didn't answer my question." I scowled at him.

"It did. It's just not what you want to hear." He leaned forward placing his elbows on the table.

"Tell me what I want to hear then." I was trying to hold in the frustration this conversation was causing.

" I don't think he remembers I was with him. He was drunk out of his mind."

drunk out of his mind. The words caught my attention. I thought everything was okay then why did he feel the need to get high like that. What was going on? I was missing on something. Something major that I needed to know. 

"And, you just let him?" Anger rose in my words. What kind of a friend was Clayton?

"Yes." Clayton's jaw clenched.  "I was sober, he was safe with me." He looked away and something shrunk within me. I always underestimated Clayton. He  had this indescribable look in his eyes when he gazed at me and it scared me. I was starting to understand why Asher and Clayton were friends. They weren't on the opposite sides of the rope. They were more alike than I thought.

"What happened to him?" I asked, it was an almost whisper. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. I felt the need to apologise but I didn't.

"Again, not my place to say." He flicked me off.

"I'm going to go find him." I said taking one last sip of my drink.

"I don't think you should."

"Why not?"

Clayton went quiet , he was contemplating on something in his mind as he stared at me without a blink then he covered my hand with his large one and squeezed. It felt like he passed on some courage to me through his touch.

"Do what you need to, Sophie."

.

.

It didn't take much work to find him.
There he stood, holding her hand. I just stared until everything disappeared from sight and I was drowning. The courage was gone. A hopeless bird fluttered in my stomach and I wanted to puke my guts out. Tears ran down my face. I wanted to run away but my legs were rooted to the ground. I was watching us breaking apart. My mind moved back to when I first met him. My little yellow summer dress and his blue shirt. My eyes exploring the forest within his eyes. Founding him on the kitchen floor to falling asleep in his arms. Touching him and letting him take my soul. Everything was shattered. I couldn't come up with a reason. Nothing made sense. Why were they holding hands, staring at the oceans like two people in love?

I always knew they were perfect but I wanted him to choose me. If my love was fucked up then I didn't want it. I wanted beautiful things and I got none.

His broad shoulders were tensed. I didn't even take a look at Lily. I wondered what his green eyes saw and his mind thought. I wondered if he was thinking about me.

I wiped my face with the back of my hand and looked to my left  where Clayton and I were standing on the high porch, he was still there looking out at the ocean. He couldn't see us and I was glad about that. I was humiliated enough for the day and didn't want Clayton to see Asher with Lily.  My heart clenched at the thought of them.

Asher and Lily. Asher and Lily. Asher and Lily.

Even their names sounded good together.

I gulped looking back at Asher only to find his eyes on me. My heart skipped a beat, his stare was menacing, it held a warning. Lily was still looking at the ocean, her back to me. He said something to her before walking towards me. How could some so beautiful be so ugly on the inside? I wished I could walk away but I didn't. The way he was looking at me I knew he didn't want me to follow him. He looked angry.

As soon as he reached me I saw a wave shock and guilt in his eyes before it disappeared.

"What are you doing here?" He ran a hand through his hair and my eyes followed.

"Your knuckles are bruised." I said keeping my eyes on the blue black skin. I didn't want to look him straight in the eyes. He was getting nothing this time. My face was a void so was my heart. "They need to be bandaged."

"I'm fine."

"Okay, I'm heading back to the room." I said, looking down at my feet before raising my head to see if Clayton was still there. Unfortunately, he left.

"Do you know the way back?"

"I'll find my way and I have your number." I nodded to myself.

Don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry .

"Sophie."

"Everybody has dispersed, by the way. I'll see you." My words wobbled.

"Stop acting like a fucking child." I flinched and took a step back which he immediately caught on. His jaw clenched as he took a deep breath. Guilt settled on his face.

"Stop acting like you fucking care." I shot back.

"I do."

"You shouldn't. Go fuck yourself." I hated I couldn't even toughen up in front of him. He saw the tears in my eyes.

"They definitely need some bandages. Let's go." He reached for my hand like we weren't just fighting, like I didn't see him holding Lily's hand. I pulled my hand away from his quickly and glared at him.

"What now? Make yourself useful." His cool tone was fucking up with my mind. How could he be so casual after everything. I turned and started stomping my way back to the hotel room. Asher followed, I knew he was purposely walking behind me because he wanted to see me struggle finding my way back to our room. Luckily, that didn't happen. When he realised I had won. He started walking beside me. I memorized every little crevices of Sorrento, I didn't want to forget anything. I knew I could never afford a vacation like this and I wanted to make the best out of it.

As we reached the room he went straight into the bathroom, I could hear him opening and closing cabinets. He came out with a first aid box. Since when did they started keeping first aid box in hotel room?

He handed me the box and sat down on the bed beside me.

I opened the first aid kit and pulled out some rubbing alcohol and cotton.

"Hand." He simply obliged, I held his hand in my little ones as I cleaned the wounds . Some had already started healing, others still raw.

He almost killed someone for me. He told me he'd never let another man disrespect me. He protected me like he cared, like I was his. Then, he forgot everything and didn't even think once before choosing Lily over me. I hated him. I loved him.

"Can you look a little less ungrateful?" His deep voice brought me out of my thoughts and I blinked at him, looking absolutely confused. He saw the frown marred on my face and his lips tipped up in a smile. "I'm willingly letting you do it, you should be grateful." His voice held a teasing undertone.

"Yeah, I should be. For once you're not a pain in the ass."

I wanted to undo everything. I wanted to unlove him for the many reasons I loved him. Yet, I found myself falling deeper in the pit of unrequited love. A loveless love that I couldn't get enough of. It left me with empty hands. Why did God choose him for me? Was I meant to suffer and only suffer. I blinked. No Sophie, you're not going to fucking cry. My jaw clenched and I gulped dabbing the cotton on his knuckles and then letting the skin dry.

He ran his thumb on my palm and I almost melted away.

No, Sophie. Not this time.

As I dressed his bruises he sat patiently.
I knew he was looking at me, I tried to not look bothered by his gaze and continued working on his hand.

"It's done." I said and started putting things back in the first aid.

"You're good at this." He sounded anything but impressed.

Of course.

I nodded.

"You need to look at me." There was something in his voice that made my whole body ache. A kind of pain, sadness like he was grieving. I almost caved in.

"I've had enough of your bullshit." I told him. I couldn't look at him. I knew if I did he'd see how hard I was fighting to not be vulnerable.

"Not yet." His bandaged hand moved a piece of hair behind my ears before his fingers wrapped around my neck and pulled me towards him, my eyes widen and my breath hitched. Everything happened so suddenly, one moment I was angry, hurt and the other moment his lips were on mine. It felt like someone watered the dying plants within me. His tongue slipped in my mouth and my hands immediately wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to me. Before I could even cherish him he pulled away-

"There's a bump on the bridge of your nose." He whispered against my lips and my eyes opened slightly, they felt too heavy. I looked at him and my heart thudded loudly.

Don't, just leave. Please leave.

"Your hair are lighter at the ends." I blinked at him, feeling my heart fill with rainy clouds.

"I don't like the ocean, you have a few specks of it in your eyes." I gulped and looked down. I wanted him to stop, I couldn't listen to him anymore. Why did he do that to me? There was a lump in my throat, I swallowed it and nodded trying to calm my nerves.

"You smiled with your eyes yesterday, for the first time." I somehow let the words out of my mouth without choking. He smiled at my words, it didn't reach his eyes. We were back at square one, I guess.

"You've hurt me. It's not the first time." I continued, struggling to hold myself up and not breakdown.

"I hate that you left me alone in this room"

"I couldn't stay. " The pain on his face was so genuine, it terrified me.

What are you hiding, Asher?

"Why?"

He went quiet for a while.
"You're temporary."

"And you're a son of a bitch." I spat and regretted my words, immediately. Crimson rose my neck and I groaned inwardly.

He nodded like he couldn't agree more and I frowned. It wasn't something to be agreed on.

"You're selfish. You see nothing beyond yourself." I gritted out.

"Do you?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Such a simple question and still I wanted to bury myself and never be found.

"Always. I always see you because-" I love you. I abruptly stopped and my eyes widen slightly when it hit me what I was about to say. His eyes narrowed and his jaw ticked.

"Say it." He sounded so cold.

"What is Lily to you?" This time I looked him dead in the eyes.

"Nothing." His vacant gaze looked past me.

"It doesn't seem like that. I want the truth. " I whispered. I was begging and he could see that.

"We have to leave for Capri. Get dressed, pack your things." With that he left the room slamming the door shut behind him making me flinch, leaving me with nothing, once again.  I fell back on the bed and curled up into a ball, tears ran down my face, closing my eyes I found my mother's reassuring face smiling back at me.

Get yourself together, Sophie.

He didn't look at me. Not even once as we got on the ferry. My eyes stayed on the clear turquoise water, I couldn't help but smile as I gazed down at the water. I felt like a kid again wanting to be knees deep in it with the waves swaying my tiny body back and forth. I could feel his eyes burning holes in the side of my head but I refused to look at him. I leaned my head against one of the poles holding up the roof and closed my eyes wishing mom and Gramps were here. They would have loved every bit of it. I could have never been able to afford a vacation like this. Things have always been hard. They were harder when I was a kid. My family deserved a vacation, the one they never got. And here I was, on a dream vacation with a man I loved but didn't like him much at the moment. Fucking, complicated.

There were quite a few people on the ferry talking, taking pictures. A little dark skinned boy, no more than a year or two walked around the ferry looking at everyone with eyes so bright, he had a squeaky toy in his hand, more in his tiny mouth I should say as he chewed on it once in a while, he had just learned to walk I could tell by the way he waddled and almost fell a couple of times. His mother sat across from me watching her little boy.  My eyes followed him everywhere and when he reached Asher with his squeaky toy my heart skipped a beat. A lot could have happened in that moment. I've never seen Asher around children so I didn't know how he would react.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

Asher frowned as he stared down at the little boy, I couldn't see his eyes in the bright sun. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees and entwined his fingers together, his frame was so large it made him look scary,  he was trying to be at eye level with the boy but couldn't.

I think I wasn't the only one who found Asher fascinating, the boy stood rooted looking at him with wide brown eyes and a big grin on his face.

"I like your toy." Those words felt weird coming from him. My whole body ached for some odd reason.  They held warmth and comfort. Like a father's voice. It made my chest hurt. I think it was in that moment I forgave him, again.

"Mama!" The little boy yelled at Asher.

"Did she bought it for you?" He asked, a smile playing on his face. I noticed that a few people were watching the encounter between Asher and the child. Most of them looking at Asher, they probably thought he was here by himself. I wanted to tell them that he was my husband. At that thought my eyes snapped to his hand. He was wearing the wedding band. I still couldn't help but feel jealous of all those women staring at him. Some cooing at the baby trying to catch his attention but it was Asher whose attention they wanted. No, Sophie. Stop.

He was mine, even if it was all temporary. I frowned at that thought. I was way too clingy and possesive today.

Squeak squeak squeak.

Asher leaned back as the boy turned around and trotted away a smile on his face as he followed the boy's tiny figure. He looked happy, the real kind of happy. He stared down at the broken wooden floor of the ferry and heaved a sigh. I could feel the happiness disappearing in thin air. Something constricted in my chest. Now that ladies on the ferry were aware of his presence they wouldn't take their eyes off of him. I was glad none tries to approach him. I closed my eyes again just to keep myself sane and stop overthinking.

I opened my eyes, and the island of Capri welcomed me with colourful houses on the hills. The ferry slowed down as we reached the port. Noises on the ferry increased, everyone seemed excited while I sat with my baggage and eyes so dull. My heart had shrunk.

When the ferry finally came to a halt, I looked at Asher to find him already staring my way. He stood up, his luggage at his side and started walking to the exit, I followed.

"We should get a cab." I said, taking long strides to match his. I knew my legs would start hurting soon by the way I was walking.

"You won't find a cab here or any other vehicle to carry two people and their belongings. Walk." He almost snapped at me.

"Wait, what?" I frowned at the ground. What the fuck, no vehicles?

"Just what I said, Callister. "

"Okay. Is it far?" I questioned, feeling tired, already. I placed my sling bag on top of Asher's trolley bag and he eyed it and then me with a scornful expression but continued walking.

"No."

"I'm tired." I almost whined.

He didn't say anything.

From the corner of my eyes I saw something moving. "There's a bus! Look! It's carrying people. You liar!" I yelled at him.

"We're not going in that bus." He almost yelled. I caught a few people turning to look at us and my cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

"Why?" I questioned, keeping my voice low.

"Because."

"No, tell me why. "

"I cannot stand it. Not a word more. You get that? You're going to follow me until we reach the hotel then you're going to leave me the fuck alone." I inhaled deeply, his words stung making my heart drop to my stomach. He stared at me seeing a kaleidoscope of emotions pass over my features. The knife in my back was being twisted again.

"Okay." I nodded, trying to blink away then tears forming in my eyes as he glared at me. He turned around and started walking.

I couldn't appreciate Capri anymore. Today I felt lonely, something I haven't felt in a while. Everybody had somebody, what about my somebody. Why was he holding someone elses hand staring out at the waveless ocean like he loved her. He was meant to be mine but he wasn't. He was nobody's. I wanted to be held, to be told everything will be fine. Tears ran down my cheeks freely now that Asher wasn't looking at me. I stared at his back until everything was blur. Wiping the tears away, I stared around. Capri smelled like the sea and lemons. I haven't seen any other vehicle since the orange bus, maybe that was the reason it didn't smell polluted. Capri was a dream and I was living a nightmare, walking by myself, feeling heartbroken.

WITH LOVE, GELATO

A board read and I smiled so wide. I started walking faster, dragging my luggage with so much enthusiasm. "Asher! Can we get some-" I frowned at the people around me.

"Asher?" I whispered to myself as my eyes moved around frantically looking for a familiar face. My eyes traced everything around but I couldn't find him.

Nonononononono!

.

Author's note

Hello!!!!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Do tell me what you feel about it.

I'm sorry for such a late update. I haven't been doing so well mentally and physically but I'll try update as soon as possible.

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Thank you for all your support, I'm so so grateful to each and everyone.

See you guys soon!

- G