Unedited.

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"Stop acting like a child." Asher almost yelled at me. Here we were, after a week filled with anxiety, uncertainty and an uneasiness that still weighed on me. I had my fingers crossed twenty four- seven. I was scared he'd change his decision. But he didn't.

"Why? Am I embarrassing you?" I asked, frowning but my voice was playful.

"Yes. I don't like associating with clowns." One thing I realised was, I loved annoying my husband. It gave me inner peace.

"Well, I'm sorry for the inconvenience but you gotta deal with what you gotta deal with." I smiled at him, and bumped into his side, slightly, enough to catch his attention. He side eyed me. His jaw ticked and something funny bubbled inside of me.

"We're in public, you should be playing the good wife, stop being primal." He looked at me for a second before looking away like he couldn't stand the sight of me.

"I'm not going to play good everytime."

He ignored me completely and looked up at the sky as we were walking towards the airport, the sun shone brightly on his face and his eyes squinted,  slightly wrinkling at the corner reminding me he was older. I wondered what the 12 years showed him, how much of it was good? Because when I looked at him, I saw misery with a glimmer of something light-hearted. Nevertheless he looked beautiful. I looked at him for a second longer, captured that face in my mind and slipped a polaroid of it in a deep dark corner of my heart.

I never thought I'd ever be with a man so ahead of me in every literal sense but now that I was with him I couldn't even think of being with someone else. I hardly reflected on the 12 years between us, it was something. Something good and warm. I couldn't put a name to how it made me feel. I looked down at my sneakers and sighed, the unease washing off of my back, slowly.

Our gaze collided again frustration marred his features but I was too happy to shut up. "You were better sick." he said and I smiled so wide his face dropped and he looked away.

What was that about?

"Stop over exaggerating." I almost rolled my eyes.

The cold air from the air blower over the entrance made a chill run all over me and my hair flew in every direction, it was worth the bird nest that I tried to pat down as we kept walking, Asher's strides were so long I was almost jogging to catch up with him. I didn't complain.

When it was time to get on the plane he didn't look at me once but he let me walk ahead of him, the way to the flight was crowded, a  lady with portable crib in her hand passed from between us, seperating Asher and I.

I almost got swallowed by the crowd but a hand came out of nowhere and pulled me to the right, "Don't tell me I have to take care of you and make sure you don't get lost." He gritted out, his fingers painfully digging in my flesh, I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Uh-" his grip loosened and his fingers slid down my hand leaving goosebumps behind and then effortlessly slipped between mine like it was something we did often. Holding hands. Touching. Those weren't Asher's thing.

"Jesus." He was frowning at our entwined hands.

I couldn't speak because he was holding my hand in his warm, large one, his grip wasn't tight, it was comforting.

I realised too late that we were flying in  business class, my stomach turned. I didn't know what to think or if I was supposed to act different. The lowlife Sophie was absolutely terrified and the good rich wife Sophie was still screaming internally out of excitement.

I looked at Asher and he was already gazing down at me, a confused look on his face as if he could read my mind and see that I didn't belong here. He squeezed my hand and my blood turned warmer. "Come on," he said as we reached our seats, he stepped back and let go of my hand, he didn't give me time to grieve over the loss of his touch as he pressed a palm on the small of my back. He was touching me a lot today. I couldn't help but notice how warm he felt, on my skin, on my insides.

The moment I sat on the extra comfortable seat my eyes widen and sudden panic set in at the same time I sunk deeper into the soft seat, I gripped the armrest and looked at Asher who sat down beside me. First, I was in an unknown situation. Second, I was under the constant influence of an overly crazy adrenaline rush since the morning. Third, panic and excitement crashed over me all at once.

We were going to fly. Everything seemed like a bad idea. My heart was beating hard. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes before turning his head towards me, green eyes scanned my face with a stoic expression but his spoke a different story, they looked concerned.

"What now?"

"I've never flown before. I don't know if I'm afraid of heights or not, what if I am?" before I could even think what I was doing I reached for his hand and held onto it like it was an anchor which wouldn't let me float away. Asher flinched slightly, then breathed in. He didn't say anything for a few beats.

"Never?" I couldn't tell if he was questioning himself or me.

"Never." I still answered.

"Interesting."

I leaned into my seat and pulled my hand away from his, placing it on my lap. I could hear my heart beating behind my ear. We were going to fly anytime.

"Look here,"

"No." The flight attendant started speaking into a microphone but I couldn't hear anything.

"Sophie." My neck flushed crimson.

I gripped his hand again.

"It's going to be okay. "

I shook my head. I had the window seat. I could feel my toes curling in, inside my sneakers.

"You're crushing my hand,"

"I don't want to sit here."

"Okay, you can sit where I am." His words came out too gentle and wave of relief ran through me.

"Yes, please that would be nice." I finally looked at him, he was smiling.  I frowned. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to know if he was making fun of me in his head.

Was he smiling because I was terrified and was about to shit myself?

I looked away.

"You have to let go of my hand"

"Why?" My words came out shaky.

"So that I can stand up and let you in my seat."

"Okay." I nodded. I could hear myself breathing. My eyes ran over his face and back at the aisle.

"Let go of my hand, Sophie." I looked at my hand still gripping on his and pulled away like it burned.

Get a grip on yourself, Sophie.

We switched our seats and as soon as we sat down and fastened our seat belts, I prepared myself for the worst.

Everything was foggy. Maybe I passed out, maybe I just fell asleep, I woke up with  my face craddled between my shoulder and the seat uncomfortably, my neck was sore. My hand was covered with something warm. I blinked, my other sleepy hand reached for my phone in the sling bag I was carrying. I looked down at the screen, I've had been out for 4 hours. Great.

Suddenly the warmth was gone I realised that Asher was holding it. He probably noticed that I was awake.

"Five more hours, go back to sleep." He spoke, making me look up at him. My knees were pulled up to my chest. My seat was either too big or I've just shrunk over the few months.

"I have slept enough." My throat was dry and my ears were hurting. I decided I was way too comfortable to sit like a normal person and remained in the weird fetal position I was in.

"It was better when you were sleeping."

"Stop lying to yourself." My eyes fell on the long flute in his hand filled with golden sparkly liquid, it looked fancy. "What's that?"

"Champagne." He stated, his voice held nothing.

"Can I have some?"

"No." He said eyeing the water bottle.

"Did you sleep?" I asked, my eyes set on the cloud outside the window.

"I don't sleep on flights." His tone was scaring me.

"Why?"

"The turbulence."

"There's hardly any turbulence." I frowned in confusion.

"There is." He brought the flute to his lips and tipped it up slightly, my eyes following the liquid and moving down to his neck as he gulped it down.

"I can't feel it." It came out as an almost whisper.

"Lucky you."

"Can you?"

"Yes, this metal junk is shivering." He stook another sip, I noticed he was looking straight at nothing trying to not move much.

"Does it bother you?"

"Yes, Callister."

"I don't know how you are coping." My face twisted painfully, I couldn't help him, I didn't know what he actually felt. I knew he wouldn't tell me either.

"Champagne." He answered.

I nodded.

"We can talk, that might help." I was scared because he sounded like the Asher I didn't want to meet again. The one drenched in his own blood laying on the kitchen floor, the one that lurked around the house like a ghost.

"We are talking and I don't need help. I just answered what you asked. Don't start a pity party here."

"Pity party? You need some good friends, I swear." I let out a bitter laugh. Asher was building up his walls again.

"I don't."

"Well, if you had some good people who would hear you out whenever you needed them to or just hang around, you wouldn't have considered this a pity party."

"Are you saying you're my friend, Callister?" He sounded amused.

"I mean, I could be, if you let me. I'll talk to you even if you don't let me because one, I can't leave this seat and go anywhere else. Two, why not?" I shrugged.

"I see." His eyes moved to my feet that were on the seat, up to my eyes before he started looking straight ahead once again. I wish he was a bit easier. Our conversation ended and I decided to stare out of the window.

9 hours later, We were in Italy, with an aching back, stiff neck and our luggage that suddenly felt too heavy. I knew nothing about Italy. My heart died a little when Asher told me we had to take a cab from Naples to Sorrento. I was so done with this trip already. I looked rough while Asher somehow managed to stay decent. His eyes were tired, he was distant. He wasn't the Asher who was holding my hand earlier.

"We're in Naples," I said reading a huge board outside the airport even though he had just made me aware of that. Everything felt different. The air had salt in it, the city was lit up like a celebration was about to happen. "I thought we're supposed to be in Capri."

"Capri is a small island and we will have to take a ferry ride from Sorrento. You stupid little thing didn't realise it was a ferry ticket inside the envelope." I knew he didn't like me but sometimes he disliked me more than other times. Like right now, I could tell he was close to abandoning me in this strange beautiful place.

A ferry ticket?

"Wait, did you book the tickets then. this is not a free vacation?

"Yes and no." He ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't feel very good about that." It felt weird. I basically dragged him across the sea in the name of a free vacation which wasn't free. He paid for it. It didn't sit well with me.

"Don't loosen up just yet, you have no idea what you've got yourself into." He looked at me and smirked.

"Then tell me."

"We're going to be in Sorrento for the next three days."

"Why?" Maybe this trip wasn't a good idea.

"You'll see." His voice held mischief.
"Now, let's go." I could do nothing but follow him. I wondered what would it be like if Asher spoke his mind, if he would talk to me because he wanted to not because he had to. I sighed and slipped inside a cab, leaning my head on the window.

As soon as we were on the road, my mood started getting better.
I couldn't keep my eyes off anything, at one point I was afraid to blink, I didn't want to lose sight of this charming town,  it was like a beautiful painting splattered with every colour to possibly exist. Asher sat stoic, looking ahead while I enjoyed Sorrento a little more.

The cab pulled infront of a huge mansion. The air here was more humid, I could tell the sea was close. I looked around the place like a clueless child with wide worried eyes that were excited at the same time. I had so many questions.

Asher probably read my mind.

"It's a boutique hotel." I didn't ask him what a boutique hotel was just followed him in. We walked on the cobblestones side by side, for a second I thought he was avoiding me but all those thoughts were gone the moment we passed a canopy of lemons. the smell of fresh lemons hit every sense of mine and I smiled so wide. I noticed how Asher didn't stop to admire the lemon grove and just kept walking, I had to jog to catch up with him. According to the cleaner, boutique hotels were popular in Italy. It was different, I felt like we were living a in house, we sure were the only difference was, we only had two attached room for us and there were other tourists living here aswell.

I was a ball of nerves, grinning so wide.

What I didn't expect was for our room to be facing the sea. At this point, I couldn't feel. Or maybe I was just feeling Way too much and couldn't comprehend my own feelings. Asher entered the room and placed his wallet and a few other things on the first table he could spot. I kicked off my sneakers by the door and noticed how Asher eyed them, I kept walking until I was by the huge window looking out at the enormous sea and my heart swelled. I could already feel my feets in the sand. I let my hair lose and it tumbled down my shoulders as I pressed my forehead on the glass, sighing.

"Thank you."those words came out of nowhere, I meant it.

"You're welcome." He was standing beside me, looking at the same water but with different eyes, he didn't look pleased. His deep voice held an edge to it.

"Everything is so beautiful. " I looked back at the sea, my eyes moving around greedily, there were people by the shore, some soaking in the sun others enjoying the turquoise water.

"Indeed."

"I know I'm a pain to be with sometimes-"

"most of the times." He interrupted me and stated.

A softly laugh escaped me. I was going to say something but I forgot what it was, we stood there long enough. I wanted to reach out and hold his hand but I didn't.
Loving a man who didn't love you back was like living a nightmare. Not being able to touch him whenever I wanted or just hold him whenever I needed was worse.

I wish you could read my mind Asher.

I turned my head sensing movement from the corner of my eyes. He picked up his wallet. "Where are you going?" I immediately asked. he said nothing just looked out of the window then at me. Before I could say something he was out of the room. A little part of me wanted to follow him but I knew I needed a shower and be by myself.

I slipped on a white cotton dress than ended a few inches over my ankle. It was pretty and flowy. I was feeling much better, my neck was still sore but the pain was bearable. I wondered where Asher went. Maybe, he was on the shore. I shook the water out of my hair and slipped out of the bathroom thinking if I should go look for him or not.

My thoughts came to a hault and my  eyes fell on the large figure sleeping soundly  on his stomach with his hand tucked under a pillow. Warmth filled my body and my legs started moving on their own, before I knew I was standing by the nightstand, my hands aching to run through his hair. I wished he knew what he meant to me. I wondered if my love would always be unrequited and my heart always a little broken.

I wanted to feel something other than remorse. So I did what my heart wanted and my mind fought against. I curled up beside him maintaining a safe distance. And for once, we were a normal couple, sharing a bed. I was Sophie and he was Asher, just Asher.

My Asher.

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ASHER.

My mother liked playing games. No matter how much I avoided them she'd play one snake move, piling me into shit I didn't want. She won again. She finally had me where she wanted me to be. Fucking Sorrento. I looked to my left and frowned to see a few dark golden-brown locks of hair over my arm, my eyes travelled to the sleeping figure beside me and my chest tightened. She looked peaceful, breathing gently, her long hair all over her face, my hands itched to move them away. She was too close for my liking. Sophie was another one of my mother's pawn, I still haven't figured out what was the deal with her. I thought I was winning the moment I agreed to marry her, I thought she'd run , screaming for her life but she did the complete opposite and then we were stuck, atleast I was. I moved away from her slightly, her hair slipping off my arm making me sigh in relief. I ran a hand over my face and through my hair, I couldn't help but look at her once again.

She made me feel strange. I didn't enjoy feeling that way. I'd never. I got up and walked away from her to the window, looking out at the sea.

Sorrento was like a scandalous woman. An enchantress, luling everyone into her grip. If I could I would leave right now. But I couldn't. I had baggage with me this time, she was sleeping soundly. I looked over from where I was standing and my fist clenched, my whole body tensed, she was clutching onto the pillow I was sleeping on. I looked away, my eyes scanning the bland blue ocean with new interest. I just didn't want to look at her.

The smell of salt and greens that surrounded the property was calming but not enough to make me forget how the ocean reminded me of the worst things in life.

I still remembered the look on Anton's face when he was dragged away from the crowd just because he was considered an embarrassment for being different than others and how he distanced himself from me when they started treating me like the older one.

I watched my brother dissapear from the eyes and minds of people, people who he called family just because he didn't seem strong enough or smart enough.

I watched my brother watch me roll in this fucked up world's dirt, take his place, take his everything and act like I didn't care about him. It all started in Sorrento and it ended here aswell.
I cursed myself for it's doing every day, every moment.

Sorrento took everything away from Anton.

Sorrento took away my brother. 

Sorrento took away my Violet.

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking those innocent gray eyes out of mind.

I let my mother crumble my life into the sand and I fucking knew I'd let her do it again and again.

A knock on the door made my frown dissapear. I reluctantly walked to the door and opened it. The first thing that my eyes fell on was the emerald green satin.

I raised a brow, even though I knew what was happening.

The woman cleared her throat and walked in as I stepped aside. She placed the dress on the chair, her eyes moved to Sophie and then back at me. She nodded and left the room, immediately.

"Who is that for?" A sleepy Sophie said out of nowhere and I wanted to leave the room, immediately.

"Definitely not for me."

"Is it for me?" She sounded excited and for some odd reason I wanted to shut her happy moment off, but I couldn't.

"Yes."

"Why?" She sounded tired even though she slept through the motions.

"We have an event to attend."

"What?" She sounded alarmed. I finally looked at her and regretted it immediately, her sleep filled eyes, her parted lips, that slender slant of her neck, everything seemed like an invitation. My eyes moved down to her legs, her dress had ridden up to her thighs and fuck, I wasn't supposed to feel this way.

"Yes." I cleared my throat.

"Who attends events on vacation?" She sounded annoyed and I wanted to smile because I couldn't help but enjoy her frustration.

"This is where you went wrong. It might be a holiday for you, Callister. But for me it's not, you've dragged me into hell." I took her in shamelessly, like a fucking teenager seeing a real woman for the first time.

She frowned at my words and pulled my pillow to her chest. Her actions made her look vulnerable and my body tensed.

"So we came all the way to Italy to attend an event on a so called holiday. Why didn't you tell me before?" She looked down and stared at the bed for a second, looking deep in thoughts. "We don't have to go" she whispered and my gut turned.

"But we will."

"What is it for?"

"Charity. I've never attended this before. It takes place every year, they raise a lot of money in the name of charity and gulp it down." I leaned into the wall to my left and folded my arms against my front.

"You've never attended it before? Is it that bad?" I didn't know what she was calculating out of this situation. She looked surprised, not in a pleasant way.

"It's not." I assured her, I couldn't understand her internal war but I knew there was one going on in that tiny space.

She crawled over to where the dress was laying, on the edge of the bed and ran a hand on the soft, lustrous cloth and something moved in my chest. I inhaled, trying to look away but I didn't. I couldn't. A smile made it's way up to her face. "It's so beautiful." She murmured.

I couldn't help but smile, I tried my best not to. Her face held something I've never seen before.  Innocence, honesty. I couldn't help but stare at her a little longer my eyes running down her shoulders to the tip of her fingers running over the cloth like it was precious. The way she reacted to things made me so fucking curious. Like, she'd never seen anything like it before. Her hair fell over her shoulders, the same hair that were over my arms a few minutes ago and something constricted in my chest. Her eyes were bright and I couldn't dare to dim them. She made my body react differently, it was terrifying in so many senses.

"We have to be there in two hours."

"We aren't going." She stated, so confidently, I doudted myself for a moment.

"We are." She looked up and held my stare with determination.

Sweet little brave Sophie, always fighting, even in the silence.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable." I raised a brow out of amusement. She cared and it was just messed up.  This woman was something else.

"Well, I changed my mind. I want to see you in that dress."

She narrowed her eyes at me and I wanted to grab her by the throat. My fist clenched at that thought and my body reacted oddly. Fuck. She stared at me for a moment before looking down at the dress. She was going to cave in.

"Fine." She sighed in defeat. I tipped my chin at her, smiling.

I decided to leave the room and change in the next room.
She was everywhere and this was the first time I couldn't get her off of my mind even after trying. I could feel her fingers burn in my flesh even though she'd never touched me, I've never felt her skin on my scarred one. My scars, they were everywhere aswell just like her. I looked up at myself in the mirror and my jaw tightened. I wondered what she would feel like on me. If she would be disgusted. Sophie being herself would just look away. Sometimes she was too kind and most of the times I preferred overlooking everything about her, mostly the good parts of her that reminded me I was more human once than I was today.

I didn't know what to expect from the night. I didn't like crowds especially the ones filled with filth. Conversations about work, life, love that didn't matter and those annoying women always ready to jump my bones. It was going to be different tonight considering I'd be sporting a beautiful someone.

Beautiful.

She was beautiful, indeed. I could admit that to myself but never to her. She was a lot more than beautiful and I was a lot less than she thought of me. If I could I'd let her go right at this moment, something inside me twisted at the thought. What the fuck was happening? I wouldn't consider myself doomed but I was barely on the surface.

For once, I was lost. I didn't know where to be found or if I wanted to be found. I've always had control over everything, right now I didn't. I still disliked her smart mouth and the fact she could get on my nerves so easily but what I hated was that I expected something from her.  

My healing scars started to ache. I could make good use of a drink right now. I couldn't.  She was waiting for me, that dark haired, green eyed woman, no less than Sorrento, An enchantress, who didn't even knew what she was capable of. But fuck, I did know. She was ruining what was already ruined.

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Hello!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter do tell me what you think of it. Don't forget to vote, comment, share!!!

Okay, a little about me. I'm a first year Dental student.
I have my exams from the second week so I'll be offline till then and will probably updated on 15th of August. I'm sorry for making y'all wait.

Thank you so much for the support. I'm forever grateful. ❣️❣️

- Garima