*Unedited*

"Are you high?

I waved my hand in front of Asher's face. A frown marred on my face as I looked down at him. He was on the couch, like always. His eyes looked dazed like his soul has left his body. It was just scary.

He blinks. "No, but I want to."

"Then why aren't you?"

"You ask so many questions, Callister. Don't you have something to do? Like put up something decent, it's Sunday. Did you forget?"

"I did not I thought you did." Now I know why he's not high. He likes to make his mother believe that he's a sober decent man. Which is just a funny thing to even think about. Asher and sober? No.

My eyes moved down at him, he was wearing a black shirt and grey dress pants. That was new. His jaw covered with light stubble. He looked good, more than just good.

"Shall we go then?"

"Of course." His lips curves up in a smile and for a second I didn't know how to react. But then I smile back. Smiling in harmless. I hope so.

I slid into my seat and looked at him. And my heart was suddenly loud. "Do you remember what you have to do?" I ask feeling a little anxious. I play with my fingers trying to keep my nervousness at bay.

"I love you already, now shut your mouth for a while."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the seat trying to hide the crimson colour creeping up my neck. We were on the road, the weather was gloomy, it was pouring. I leaned my head on the window as I watched tiny droplets trickle down the window. Asher was quiet but everything about him seemed so loud to me, I could even hear him breathing, hear him move his head, I started fidgeting in my seat as I felt his gaze on me once in a while.

I reached forward and turned on the radio to stop my line of thoughts, Twenty one pilots blarred through the speakers and I smiled moving my head to look at him, I knew he was looking at me because he smiled back almost immediately, something unknown flashed on his face, I saw it, I saw it for long enough to know it was guilt and I wondered why he looked away. I frowned looking down at my dress and decided to ignore it.

Today was about a lot of smiles nothing else. I thought in my head.

Twenty minutes later we reached our Destination. I was quick to get out of the car, it was still pouring. Asher was behind me as we almost ran to the door.

"Ready?" I heard him.

I nodded as he slipped his hand in my, fingers interlaced, eyes bright and a troublesome heartbeat.

"Sophie, Asher." Scarlett was beaming as she welcomed us, my hand stayed in his, I loved every second of the warmth. I looked up at Asher but he was still looking at his mother as we followed her to the living room. I could say one thing without a doudt, he loved his mother, he lived for his mother.

As soon as we entered the room, there was a chaos, in the middle of it his hand left mine and the same time Jessy, Asher's cousin pulled me with her towards little group of ladies.

My eyes moved towards him, Asher was on his knees animatedly talking to Josh, he suddenly had the brightest face in the room and I just wanted to look at him and look at him a little more, appreciate him maybe talk with him but I couldn't, we were in a room full of people.

A part of me hated the crowd while the other part of me knew that he wouldn't be the same if I was the only one in the room. There were two sides of our relationship. Behind the closed door of his house we're toxic and in front of everyone we were just perfect.

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"There's plenty for everyone today." Scarlett looked at me and then everyone else, a giggle left my mouth and I looked down at my food. I haven't felt being present there at all. I've been lost for a while, once in a while looking at Asher.

Somehow I ended up sitting beside Scott. Asher sat between his cousins. I was happy the Veronica wasn't part of the get together. My interactions with everyone became less and less awkward as time went by.

After lunch we all sat in the living room talking, laughing. While Callum turned out to be a bully, Scott claimed to be related to Freddie Mercury, Jessy surprised me by shutting off Asher almost every time and Asher, he just sat beside me, holding my hand making circles on the inside of my wrist and speaking to himself like he was annoyed at everyone and no one at the same time. I didn't mind at all as long as I could have him around me.

"Do you want to see something?"

"If it includes you being naked then no". I piped laughing quietly.

His eyes rolled back as he leaned on the couch and looked at me again, "no, just my room."

'I'd love to! " that came out almost immediately. He was looking at me like my excitement bothered him.

Well then, he stood up and the room went quiet, "Excuse us," with that he was pulling me with him until we were out of the living room his hands left mine as he lead me.

I followed him like a lost puppy and kept looking at the back of his head and my eyes tried to imagine his spine as I ran my eyes on his back. He opened the first door on the left of the corridor and I was immediately taken aback by the smell of sandal wood, his room didn't look like the rest of the house or smelled like it, it was different, it wasjust like him. Shades of blue, gray and white covered the room. Surprisingly it was clean. My eyes travelled to the study table and it looked like was there like he must have left it, untouched by anyone else.

"So, this is your Den?"

"Pretty much, what do you think about it? "

My hands moved over every little thing in my sight, like I wanted to have them in my head as long as possible. From the books on his self, to the torn pages on the desk, the polaroid on the wall, my hands froze on it and a warm feeling filled my empty chest, the feeling was so overwhelming that butterflies invaded my stomach. There was a lump in my throat. There he was, Asher, on the beach, not more than 10 year old with Scarlett on his side soaking in the sun, smiling at the camera like he didn't even know what is it like to be worried and now all he knew was how to be worried, Scarlett looked beautiful, I wasn't even there when this picture was taken but the emotions I was filled with were familiar.

"Sophie. "

I almost jumped out of my skin as I heard his voice, it wasn't him , it was the closeness, he was right behind me I could feel the warmth his body radiated.

"This," my eyes set on the polaroid, "it's beautiful."

"Beach day. It was her birthday. "

You look so happy. I wanted to tell him but I didn't.

"Psychology? I thought you were the Math guy." I changed the topic instead.

"I studied that for 6 months before I dropped out of College and I hate math, it's dreadful."

"Why did you drop out?"

"Dad got into a wreck," I breathed out. "He's paralysed down from the waist, I had to take charge of things."

I felt his hands on my waist and my breath hitched, my knees felt weak.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, he's fine now." There was pin drop silence. My eyes went back to the polaroid. I just couldn't get it out of my mind.

"Can I take it?" As soon as those words left my mouth my eyes widen in surprise. I didn't have any idea what got into me, where those words came from.

My hands fell to my side as I looked up at the books hoping he didn't here that.

"Yes, you can," unfortunately he did. He moved beside me and pulled the polaroid off of the wall. Here, I tried hard not to smile but failed miserably. I was smiling ears to ears looking up at him with so much adoration.

I moved forward and kissed his jaw as I stood on my tip toes. He was looking at me as I moved back, his shoulders stiffened as his eyes ran all over my face. I wish I knew what he was thinking. There was something in his eyes but I couldn't tell what.

My eyes snapped down at my hand as I felt his fingers curl around my wrist. I look up at him and for a second I knew what he was thinking..

"Come here," we're both moving, suddenly, a little to fast, in a hurry like we would change our mind anytime now. I kicked my sandals off and got on the bed, he was already on the bed looking at me, the air was filled with uncertainty. I was looking at him not knowing what to do, my stomach was in knot as I saw his hands reaching for me, in one swift motion I was laying on top of him, I could feel a little heartbeat everywhere, my eyes were wide.

"You look mortified, Sophie." He sounded amused, I could tell he just wanted to laugh at me.

"Because I am." I gulped trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.

His warm fingers moved my hair behind my ear and they stay there before they moved down my neck forming little circles.

"I'm not used to affection especially when it comes from you."

"You'll get used to it," I didn't believe him, my head fell on his shoulder and a sigh escaped my mouth. .

His hands were everywhere moving slowly all over my body one by one as he quietly laid with me and I wasn't sure what and why. I wondered if his heart was loud, his chest full and his eyes glistening with the same warmth they held in the polaroid.

I wondered if he was in love with me too.

I frowned and then smiled, so this is how it feels to be in love. I thought to myself.

The last thing I remember was closing my eyes shut as I slipped the polaroid under my pillow, I remember his hands as they held me to him, I remember his warmth, his gentle touch and something that'll always remain unsaid between us.

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I woke up to the sound of rain against the window. I was curled up like a cat, Asher was on his stomach facing away from me as he slept. It was 6 pm on the clock and my eyes still felt heavy.

I looked down at him and the only thing in my head was how bad I wanted him, us, to stay like this forever. I loved being around him even if he didn't speak much with me. We spent almost the whole day looking at each other.

"What is your problem, Callister?"

I was pulled out of my line of thoughts my eyes moved down to the sleepy source of the voice, he was still on his stomach but facing me. I realised I was staring at him.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm making you miserable, aren't I ? You've been so lovely the whole day, I feel like you just want to cuss me now?"

"I'm already miserable you can't try to make me more miserable." He chuckled and I wondered if he meant that. "It wasn't that hard, you see, you weren't annoying at all. You have been a good wife."

A giggle escaped my mouth as I leaned into him until my head was in on his chest. "I've always been a good one you were too busy to notice." I look back at him, I was really enjoying his bed. It was soft and comfortable. I really enjoyed looking at him.

"Maybe."

"Today is a good day."

"I agree, I slept well after a long time."

"Me too" it almost came as a whisper. An unsettling feeling filled my chest.

"Is it possible to be happy and unhappy at the same time?" That was the first thought in my mind when my chest started to feel heavy.

He inhaled deeply, "Yes, you can't always be happy and you can't always be unhappy sometimes you get stuck in the middle. That is how it is."

"That sucks." He was right, more than right. I realised that he just summed up my situation.

"I've been thinking about something, I want to move out." His voice cracked like it was painful for him to say that. His fingers weaved through my hair and his other arm rest on my back. "To a new place maybe a condo, I'm tired of the house..."

"Why?" I rolled off him. The first thought that invaded my mind was if his plans included me.

We were looking at the ceiling, everything froze for a few. I was sad when I shouldn't be.

"I.. I don't know." I knew he was lying.

He turned his body towards me and then snaked his arms around my waist pulling me closer, a second later I was on top of him, his hands on the small of my back pushing me closer as we kissed. We were laughing like Asher never told me what he did. We kissed a little more I knew he was just trying to change the topic and I was fine with it as long his mouth stayed on mine, a knock was heard, I pulled away, breathing heavily I looked down that him, "If it's my mother tell her I'm sleeping. "

I nodded rolling my eyes as he kissed my neck. I got up and pulled the door open, I could see Asher getting under the covers.

The first thing I see is Josh on the door.

"Do you want to come in?"

"No, this..."

"What's this?" Before I could ask anything he ran away. I stared at the envelope for a good second.

"What's that," I heard Asher mutter and then sigh.

I quickly tear it open. He was still looking at me waiting for me to say something.

My stomach immediately dropped on the other hand I felt like I was screaming with joy, but I wasn't.

"Callister." I heard him again but those words faded behind the ringing in my ears.

"6 nights, 7 days. Capri, Italy."

......

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