Unedited. 

1. This is a brand new chapter. Even tho there are views and votes on it. I decided to remove the trailer and write this chapter on the same page instead. 

2. It's been a very long time, I know. Not a day went by when I didn't think about this book or about writing but I just had to focus on something else including my mental health. 

3. I was actively going to update from the 4th of May but now that my exams are postponed I have no idea when I'll start updating actively.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, do tell me how you feel about it. 

***

I was wishing so bad to the Earth to open up and swallow me alive. Like I never even existed in the first place. When I realised that wasn't going to happen. I prayed for everything happening to be a dream. I was hoping to get up soon but nothing helped. It was all true. It was all written on his face. The rage in his eyes told me that I was in deep shit. I stayed rooted to the ground. Running was not an option. His eyes moved over me, they were so livid. 

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the floor.

"I said, Who the fuck was that?" He repeated himself. I could feel the growing anger in his voice. 

I immediately shook my head, my heart was racing.

 "Nobody." I lied.

I couldn't afford to tell him about Thomas. My mind was thinking of all the ways Asher would hurt me and my body ached in fear and that is when I saw two long feet in front of mine.

My heartbeat staggered and I inhaled deeply. God. 

"Tell me, right now. "

I shook my head pressing myself to the counter trying to maintain some distance between us.  I was on my toes making sure I could not feel the heat of his body. 

The struggle was real, the struggle to fight for something when you know you'd lose. 

He breathed out and moved forward. My hands immediately reached forward and I fisted his shirt in my hand.  "Please, it's nothing.  Let it go. You need to believe me"

It wasn't just about hiding the things that happened in the cafe that night.  One secret would lead to the relevation of another and then another and eventually Asher will be on the last page of the book. It would be the end of us or just me. 

My spine stiffened at the thought of him ruining every last bit of me. My grip tightened on his shirt.

"Is he the guy you were with the other day?" I could feel the anger in his voice and his muscle tightening under the shirt as he spoke. 

I cringed at his word choice and immediately shook my head.  I looked down trying to not look him in the eyes.  It was one of the things that made me so vulnerable.  I knew I would spit everything out once he was in charge.  I didn't want that. 

"Lie, that's a fucking lie." I gulped as I felt his warm breath on  my cheek and his face close to mine. Before I could even blink he swiftly moved back a second later my phone was all over the phone,  into pieces and I almost screamed but I couldn't hear myself screaming, my ears were ringing .  I was beyond shocked.  He picked one broken piece and slammed it again with all his strength and then again and again. 

 By then,  I was an utter mess, screaming and sobbing. I was scared beyond anything else.  My heart was eratic,  I wanted to throw up, it wasn't just my phone now that was being slammed ruthlessly, glasses, jars, dishes. I saw the beast in him at that moment and I knew that only have two options either run or stop it all. I managed to get away, I was dragging myself backwards my eyes never leaving him. 

"Asher, please!! Don't do that.  "  His body was moving like crazy,  Asher was out of control. 

"Get out of here!"

No!!"

"I said, now!! Get it before I lose it completely. "

"No, please stop.  We can talk about it. You're hurting yourself. " I cried, my body wanted to give up I was shaking. I got up and moved towards him. 

"Get out, Sophie!!"

My body reacted in a weird way when he said my name. A second later I rushed towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck.  My mouth clashed with his in a frenzy. Tears rolled down my cheeks and into my mouth. His tongue was in my mouth,  exploring me, tasting me and I just melted as his hands roughly held me.  He was assaulting my mouth it was almost painful how his lips moved, I could taste the metallic taste of blood on my mouth and I immediately tried to pull back but Asher didn't let me. 

"Didn't you want this? Didn't you start this? Stop pulling away."

 His fingers curled around my neck painfully as he lifted my neck up. 

My hands tried to push at his chest as I struggled to breathe my eyes were tearing.  I felt like I was drowning and then suddenly someone pulled me out of the waters,  gasping for air I fell back on the floor.  Asher was standing five feet apart staring down at me in utter shock,  I couldn't speak not at all. I didn't know if I should scream at him or comfort him,  get rid of the expression on his face.  Before I could say anything he left,  he didn't even glance at me even once and that was when I felt hot tears against my cheeks it didn't take me much to break down,  I was holding back since I heard Thomas on the phone.  My friend and my so called husband,  both were against me and I would never know why. 

Squeezing my eyes shut I inhaled deeply and just sat their on the floor for a while.  It was hard to digest everything that happened.  I felt numb but my tears didn't stop.  I was full of crazy nerves.  My mind was everywhere and at the same time no where,  from thinking about being late on the first day  at work to his lips on mine to his fingers on my neck.  My body shivered as for a very strange reason I wanted to be close to Asher.  I know he would never want me the way I have started wanting him and it hurts.

I stayed there on the ground for long enough to pale out because of cold.  Asher was not home.  Rubbing my eyes I decided to get up and clean the place. 

I never thought that it would hurt so much to want myself around him.  Things won't become easier but atleast my heart would not feel heavy.  I seriously had no idea about what was going on with me.  Everything was so crazy and new.  I picked up all the broken pieces of glasses and dumped them in the bin.  My stomach growled but I wasn't hungry at all  I just wanted to sleep so that was what I did.  I went straight up to my room.

Sleep never came as I laid there on the couch just looking everywhere. My first clenched and unclenched. Sometimes it is so hard to explain what I feel. A second later a wanted him and now I wanted to punch him.  He made me so unhappy. I wish so bad that I could go back in time and save myself from this marriage. I would have been happy without him.

I was on the couch for hours, I didn't want to leave but I knew I had to get up. It was midnight I changed into one of my night dress and tightened my bathrobe. I looked like a crazy woman in the oversized robe and wild hair, puffy face and my annoyed expression.  Great.

I huffed as I reached the kitchen and poured myself a big glass of orange juice.  Orange juice heals everything.  How stupid,  Sophie.

I heard commotion behind me as I was chugging down the sweet and sour orange juice,  it burned my throat slightly and my face scrunched up. 

Looking over my shoulder I wasn't surprised to see him bend over looking for something in the cabinet.  Asher was no less than a ghost,  you never know where he would be but he's always around.  It was so strange how I reacted to his every move even when I didn't wanted to. I was mad,  really mad. The -I'm gonna chop his balls- mad.

I washed the glass and kept it back on the self before I left. 

Don't look at him!

My mind screamed and that is what I did.  I knew I would either break down or yell at him or do something I would regret later on.

.

.

.

Time went by before I knew, two days were gone in just worrying and feeling anxious all the time. This house was so eerie and it was killing me slowly.  The silence was too much to handle since I've always lived in noisy places.
Asher was doing no good to make me feel alright.  He was never home like he was trying to avoid me.

My phone buzzed inside of my pocket drawing me out of my lines of thought.  I was expecting this call. I wasn't surprised when I saw Scarlett's name flashing on the screen. I knew what was coming, I wish I could just bail out.

I sighed before pressing the phone to my ear.

"Good evening, Sophie."

"Hey, mom. How are you?"

I nodded to myself already preparing  for what was coming my way on the upcoming Sunday. Dear lord, save me.

 We have another family get together. I know things didn't go well the last time but I'm trying to make things right for you, Sophie. I hope you and Asher would join us. 

I could not think about anything. I was tired. 

Okay.

The line went quiet for a few seconds and I knew that my not so excited response was the reason. Did I care? No. 

Okay, I'll see you soon.

.

.

.

When I knocked on Asher's door I knew that I would be humiliated like always. The door swung open and there he stood tall in front of me he had a pen in his hand and a speck of ink on his cheek, he must be working on something, that was totally new for me. 

"What?" That came out sharp. I wasn't even surprised at his tone. 

"Your mom called, she invited us over."

"I know, anything else. " 

You're awful. I wanted to tell him but I didn't. 

"Yes."

"Go ahead but hurry up."

"I don't want anyone to know what goes in between us inside the house. "

He looked at me for a second before he looked down, a small smirk making its way to his face.

'So you don't want anyone to know what you've been upto and who is getting in your pants?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I immediately shook my head. I wish I could have control over his mouth. 

"I want you to hold my hand, treat me respectfully like a wife should be treated. I want you to treat me like someone you love because we don't hurt the people we love." I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't know it was so hard to ask a person to love you. I felt like a little heartbeat that was about to die. 

He was looking at me a small frown marred on his forehead. "okay."

He nodded his eyes eyes never left my face as I tried to look everywhere but straight in his eyes. 

"So you love me?"

"Not today, Callister." With that he slammed the door on my face.