the idea that we are
so capable of love
but still choose
to be toxic
-Rupi Kaur.

•••

*Unedited*

Days came and went by, I didn't hear from Asher, even once. He was never around but I always knew he was there, somewhere. His lingering musky scent mixed with alcohol surrounded the place, somehow it reminded me of him, when all I wanted to do was forget.

Last Friday when I came back. I saw my little note that I had left for him, torn into pieces, littered on the floor, then realisation hit me he didn't care at all, I already knew it but still it irked me.

I had started attending classes at the university. I made sure to make a light breakfast for him before leaving, but guess what, the breakfast was always found untouched.

It seemed like only I was living on my own in the place.

I shook my head and looked down at my watch. It was already seven. I was walking back  to his place with my hands inside my pocket my chin stuffed in the scarf, humming tunes silently.

Christmas was near, which meant I had to go back home, the thing that worried me was, what would I say to Asher, I couldn't just wave at him and say 'hey Asher I'll be out of the city for a few days, I've to go and meet my real mother, you know the real one, not the fashion designer, the maid one'

Argh. Forget it Sophie.

When I finally reached my destination, I sighed and looked up from the ground, my feet immediately froze ,my eyes almost bulged out of the socket and my jaw opened, there he was leaning against the main door with the most blank but dangerous expression on his face his legs were crossed at the ankles while he moved his phone back and forth from one hand to other. 

"Welcome back. " his words hit me like a dagger they weren't pleasant they were taunting, there were many questions behind them.

I gulped and exhaled deeply.

"Hi" I pushed my hair behind my ear but they immediately tumbled back on my face.

"Where were you?"his gaze narrowed at me. oh no. I thought. I could here my heart thudding loudly in my ears.

"With a... friend." heat rose up my face. I ducked my chin in the scarf and looked down at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

"You are telling me that you were with a friend from eight early in the morning?"

Fuck.

That got me. I didn't realised it first, that I was out the whole day.

I cleared my throat.

"Yeah, we were um- shopping." I smiled blurting out, making sure the smile didn't look forced.

I saw his blues running up and down my body, as in he was painting me with his gaze, but here I was turning crimson instead of blue.

"Oh, let me see what you got. " he extended his hand forward.

Oh-uh.

"I didn't buy anything, it's her wedding next weekend she just needed my opinion, nothing else you see." I rocked back and forth on my heels.

"I do."

"What are you doing out here it's cold?" I frowned at him.

He raised a menacing eyebrow at me before he pushed himself off the door.

With two long strides he was right in front of me, his figure towered mine. I felt my blood rushing to my head with force, making me a bit dizzy all of a sudden because of his nearness, he looked more tan today, his forehead a bit more, his hair disheaveled, his cologne still lingered faintly in the air around him. Perfect.  

He took another step forward, catching my attention and dragging me out of my thoughts.

My breath hitched and my eyes widen as he placed a hand on my hip, my heart skipped a beat when his eyes met mine, " Asher" I warned him, my voice a little loud and stern, I tried to tell him not to do anything funny, which only made his another hand close around my waist, he drew me closer and I stumbled into his embrace, bumping into his firm chest I let out a squeak and tried to jump back, but couldn't.

Oh god.

My face was turning crimson.

I squeezed my eyes shut as he leaned forward.

"Someone decided to lock me out today."

His warm breath mingled with the cold breeze fanned my ear, I gasped as his words seeped inside my head, my cheek grazed against his and he sighed, I felt his fingers on my jeans.

"A-Asher.." I laid my hand flat on his chest and pushed at it. But it didn't stop him.
My heart was in a frenzy. I felt his fingers tracing patterns on my jeans.

I looked straight into his eyes, at the same time he narrowed his.

"What?" I asked breathing heavily, my words almost felt like they are floating in air.

"Nothing, just trying to...." He trailed off and looked down, I felt his fingers move making me shudder, my breath staggered and I almost flinched as his fingers dipped into the pocket of my denim, they buried themselves deep, I bit my lip as he looked up, his fingers moving towards where I wanted them, but I shouldn't. No no, not at all!

Leave me for the sake of love, I thought, making a weird noise at the back of my throat.

Blue and green that was what I saw in his eyes, blue sapphires surrounded by Green glitter dust. It was strange how I thought of them like that.

His hands came up bringing me out of my dazed state, the house keys hanging between his fingers. I shook my head. It was completely unbelievable.

He took a step back and turned towards the door, he unlocked it and slammed it shut behind him.

What the hell just happened, he really did drive me crazy just to take out the keys from my pocket, he could have asked for it!!

I took in a deep breath, blinking, and straightened up.

Be still my beating heart, I've heard people say, but today I felt it, the fight my heart was against with my chest, struggling to explode. I placed a hand on my chest, where my heart was and squeezed lightly. Sighing I opened the door

"You were figuring out what?" was the first thing I blurted out as I saw him on the couch as always.

He raised his head to look at me, while he slid the key on the table.

"You."

My chest clenched, I was amused my his answer, so much that I couldn't even reply.

"It's been two whole weeks, I still haven't figured you out. You are... difficult" he drawled.

I rolled my eyes at him, he was the difficult one between the two of us.

"There's nothing to know about me h--"

"There is something, Callister", his tone was determined, as if he was trying to solve the biggest mystery about the universe. Gulping, I tried to smile but failed miserably. Walking further in I took a seat in front of him.

"Good thing I've figured you out"

He chuckled "Really? Tell me about it."

As those words left his mouth, my eyes snapped towards the recliner, goosebumps spread across my body like wildfire. I hated the recliner so much, I just wanted to burn it down. Blinking I looked up, and my eyes met his, Asher was studying me carefully he looked at the recliner and then at me, his face void of any emotions, the way he was looking at me, I could tell he knew what I was thinking.

He wanted nothing but sex, yes, Asher Grayson was a sex-crazed manwhore. I felt the hunger he had for me everytime he looked at me, which only made me clench my legs together. God... No!

"Do you want to eat something?" I suddenly asked, trying to change the subject of discussion and also tried to clear my head.

His eyes narrowed slightly, he leaned back on the couch, his gaze never leaving my face "No."

"Chinese takeout it is."

I announced, he raised a questioning eyebrow at me, ignoring him completely I took out my phone from my sling bag and placed the order.

After I was done, I made my way to my room and changed into pajama shorts and a tank too, the house was warm enough to wear these. After tying my hair into a messy bun, I made my way out of the room.

Asher was still on the couch, his head in his hand, he spoke less, ate less, intrigued me the most. There was always a slight pain in my head, due to the irritation he caused when I talked to him, I always want to yell at him, but  everytime something or the other stopped me, maybe the distant look on his face or maybe the fear of being cornered by him.

Taking a deep breath, I shook my head and walked towards him, with all the courage I had I sat beside him, the surface beneath me dipped as I sat, and that caught his attention.

"You okay?" my words were hushed and soothing.

"And I thought you could be sensible enough to stay away from me."

"It's okay, I don't mind staying close."

"You are really stupid." he frowned at me.

"Hey! you are stupid, if you can't answer properly, why should I?"
I raised my voice

"Callister, leave."

"I have a freaking name, it's Sophie."

"Leave."

"You can't just make me leave everytime I ask you something!" I almost yelled.

He didn't reply, he continued looking down at the floor, holding onto the back of his neck.

"You should apologise by the way. " I folded my arms across my chest.

He turned his head towards me "For what?"

"For insulting me in front of your mother." I stated, I needed an apology from him cause he really hurt me bad.

"I am not sorry."

I was boiling with anger.
"I hate you." grumbled folding my arms across my chest

"Hmm. I do too, something like that." he sounded completely uninterested.

"Why are you so difficult?" I almost whined like a kid.

"I am not, I just don't wish to know you, I just want you to stay away." he ruffled his hair.

Hmmmp. Mr Asshole Grayson.

"I don't care what they're going to say. Let the storm rage on ,the cold never bothered me anyway". I sang in a taunting manner. I'm so stupid.

He groaned and gripped on his hair tightly, before he looked towards me, his face held  mischievousness.

"Hey! Do me a favour and grab my butt."

I froze as those words left his mouth. Did he really just quote Frozen?

What the actual fuck?

"How do - I mean uh - Disney!!--You!?"

One murderous look, a glare, with that he stood up and at the same time the bell chimed.

Hey lovely readers! I hope you liked the chapter.

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In case you're confused..here it is

ASHER QUOTED DISNEY 😂😂😂

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Love ya

-Garima🌸