Unedited.

Over the next few days I Iaid down the perfect plan.

Step 1: find a job, in case Asher decides to kick me out.

Step 2: Contact West.

I met West a few months back when I was almost raped and then kicked out by my boss and so called friend Thomas kin. West helped me find a few jobs, none of them worked out.

I couldn't work long hours and make Asher suspicious of my absence. I thought money would help me, I thought I'd be happy and all the other aspects that come with being 'happy'. Money only brought about pain, guilt, sadness, addition of more unwanted memories to my already overflowing stack of miseries.

I shook my head bringing myself back to the moment and stared at the piece of paper in my hand.

Step: 3 Tell Asher, come out clean.

Biting the inside of my cheek I stared with utmost focus. Come out clean. A chill ran down my spine knowing all that could possibly happen once I tell Asher.

Bringing my focus back on the paper I read the last line before keeping the paper away safely.

Step: 4 Hope for the best.

The unsettling feeling didn't leave me for a second since reality dawned on me. I couldn't spend a day more without telling Asher. Guilt was eating me raw.

My mind would frequently go back to the day he told me about violet.

"Sometimes I want to give you flowers, colours, fairytales, goddam it"

His words haunting my dreams.

I wondered if I've always been greedy.

My phone rang on the table grabbing my attention, reaching for it I quickly turned it off before Asher could notice. He was on a call, staring at the laptop in his lap, a frown marred on his forehead. Sighing, I pocketed my phone.

My mom's name flashing on the screen did not go unnoticed.

This was the second time today that she had called.

I couldn't pick her call in front of Asher. I had to find a way out of this house without getting him suspicious about me.

There was a time when Asher didn't care if I even existed but now it was different, we had started doing everything together. Asher followed me like a ghost, if he didn't follow me, his eyes did. I felt bad knowing he was trying to make up for all the time he didn't give me.

I wondered if he loved me but then I reminded my stupid little mind not to get ahead of myself and get disappointed.

Patting my hands dry on my top, I rounded the sofa and stood right in front of a very focused Asher. His eyes glistened under the sunlight coming from the window, his hair messed to perfection and his navy blue shirt effortlessly hugging his muscle.

God, this man had me in his grip.

I cleared my throat as I felt my cheeks turn warm. "The Refrigerator needs a refill, we're almost out of everything. I'll go get some groceries."

"Want me to take you?" Asher asked, his eyes still trained on the screen. I felt like slamming my head against the wall. For the first time ever I wanted to scream at him, Don't be so nice!

"No, I don't want to disturb you. I'll be fine by myself." I said.

Bending down I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek which happened to catch all his attention. Asher Grayson blinked at me like a lost child and I freaking loved embarrassing him.

"If you say so." He cleared his throat "Mom is visiting later in the afternoon."

"Oh." was all I could say. "I'd be home before that." Scarlett was the least of my concern.

"Take your time, you have my card."

"Yup." I gave him a tight smile before leaving the room.

Getting ready, I barged out of the house. Fishing out my phone I dialed mom's number as I almost ran to the grocery store.

I waited and waited but she wouldn't pick up.

I called again, no answer once more.

After getting everything I needed from the store I headed back home.

The wind was cool, caressing my face as I walked. Something was off, I couldn't put my finger on what. My heart didn't feel right. It's been like that since the past two days. I wondered if Asher noticed it. If he did, he chose not to say anything. I wouldn't blame him he was busy with our lives changing so quickly each day and the huge pile of work that have been patiently waiting for him at the company has kept him preoccupied.

The guilt inside of me was like a twisting knife. Turning every time I felt happy with him. Telling me how I did not deserve his kindness, how worthless I was of everything.

Sighing I pushed the door open to hear commotions in the living room. I immediately recognised the strange voice, it was Scarlett. Scarlett was like Frostbite. It could kill you. She was like the most delicious look candy only for it to be sour as hell.

Scarlett was everything she pretended not to be.

"It would be better if you mind your own business mother." His stern voice made chills run down my spine.

"You are my business. I get to decide for you." Scarlett spoke and I started to wonder if she actually loved him. Her motives were still unclear. There were still missing pieces to her puzzle.

"That's what you've done all your life—" Asher's head snapped in my direction. His words came to an abrupt stop as he took me in from top to bottom. My eyes moved to Scarlett standing there with a smug expression.

"Ah, you're here Sophie!" Nothing about her was real. Scarlett was an evil, evil woman. I hated her.

My helpless eyes moved back to Asher. He felt cold, his eyes held no warmth as he looked at me. I couldn't describe what was going on.

His grip on the paper in his hand tightened.

"Sophie why don't you tell—" My phone rang cutting off Scarlet. I knew it was mom. I couldn't ignore her anymore. Mom never called so many times in a row. It must be urgent.

"I need to take this one—" I said before dumping the grocery bag on the table and walking out of the house in fresh air.

"Mom—" I  breathed out.

"Sophie—"

Pain is one thing that I could recognise behind every voice. When you've spent most of your life bearing pain you didn't deserve, you start to understand it in ways you never thought it could exist. When I heard her voice I knew the more she talked the more hurt I would get. I knew it was bad news. The selfish part of me didn't want to hear it. I wanted to end the call.

"Yes, mom."

"Gramps is gone."

And there, in that moment everything crumbled so quickly to be never built back again.

It was like building a sand castle and watching the waves wash it away. The child in you thinking the waves would be kinder the next time so you build another castle this one bigger and better. This time when the waves come they not only take away the castle but also the heart full of hope that you had.

Next time when the waves visited, there was no sand castle, no hope. The child within you has been betrayed enough to not try to build back any of it at all.

The man I loved the most was gone.

When I thought life was getting better, the waves came once more.

I was on square one. Again.

"Sophie, Are you there? Sophie?" Mom cried harder and harder as I stood numb, staring at the house.

Gramps is gone. As much as I want to believe it I couldn't. It wasn't possible. My Gramps couldn't leave me like this  it was too soon.

But he did Sophie. A voice inside of me said.

Like everyone else.

Ending the call I took a deep breath and walked inside the house.

"I need to talk to you." I said to Asher completely ignoring Scarlet.

"Talk." He said bluntly.

"Not here." I eyed Scarlet.

She stood up immediately, "I think it's time to go. I'll see you soon, Son." She patted him on his back.

"I don't have enough time to explain things to you but I need you to help me, I need to visit my family urgently, can you drive me to them?" A single traitor tear rolled down my eyes.

Asher eyes stayed on me unwaveringly.

I couldn't think of anything, I felt numb, my chest constricted with pain that I tried to ignore as I stood in front of my husband.

"I need you to drive me home." At this point I was crying like a baby. Picking up the car keys Asher walked out of the door and I followed him without another word. He didn't spare me a glance as the car engine revved and we were on the road.

I was curled up on the passenger seat only talking to give directions. My home was 2 hours away from the city. Asher hasn't spoken once, nor did he try to comfort me as tears rolled down my face. His eyes set straight on the road. The silence in the car was deafening. The sudden change in his demeanor was concerning but I couldn't think much. It felt as if someone slammed a rock against my ribs.

"Take the next right." I said and so he did.

"We're almost there, it's the last house on your right at the end of the lane."

He didn't say a word just nodded.

As soon as the car stopped I jumped out of it immediately only to find my legs giving up on me.

Asher rounded the car and stood there, looming on me with his hands folded against his chest, watching me collect myself. I stood up once again only for my legs to give up one more time.

Leaning against the car I looked up at him helplessly. "I don't know what's happening." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at my husbands.

For a second I saw a hint of concern in his stone cold eyes before it disappeared.

A familiar arm wrapped itself around my waist, hoisting me up and pressing me to his warm body. "You're in shock." He spoke, his tone too stern for speaking to someone who was crying.

"I- I don't know. I couldn't even say goodbye." I stared at him, my eyes brimming with tears.

"Let's go inside." He said completely ignoring my words.

There in front of us stood my home, looking just like it did the last time. It was a two storey house that my great grandfather left behind for my grandfather. The wind chime swung back and forth from the wind reminding me of my time spent here, the time I wish I could go back too. That wasn't possible, neither was bringing back the person I'd lost.

Asher pushed the door bell and took a step back.

The door opened and my mother's tired face smiled at me.

"Sophie, I thought you wouldn't come" my mother whispered. From Asher's arm I fell into her arms.

"Why would I not, I loved him so much, he was my Gramps."
I was crying, crying like a baby for the man I loved the most. For the man I lost. My bestfriend. My childhood partner in crime. He made everything easier even when days were tough, even when he couldn't hold himself up. I was the worst grand daughter, I didn't even remember the last time I saw him. I was so busy trying to survive, trying to make something of myself and here I was, wrapped in my mother's arm, her tears soaking my top, her tiny hands holding onto me for dear life and her voice calling out for her father but it was too late.

Gramps wasn't coming back.

A lady stepped in my view, her petite figure lurking a few steps behind mom. Aunt Carol. Mom's sister.
Her eyes swollen from crying, her clothes worn out. Her tiny nose red. Her eyes weren't on me, they were stuck on something behind me.

Mom pulled away when she sensed aunt Carol behind her.

"Who is that?" Aunt Carol asked. Grabbing mom's attention. Aunt Carol furrowed her brows and stared intently.

My blood was slowly turning cold under the weight of the questions that marred my family's face.

I turned around to look at Asher, who stared back at them, his jaw clenched, his eyes stern. To anyone who was meeting him for the first time, they'd think he was being rude. But I knew better, Asher was nervous. And probably pissed at me.

"This is my h—"

"Colleague." Asher started cutting me off.

Asher somehow realised that it wasn't the right time, so did I.

"Boss." I said. "I work for him. I was at work when you called. He drove me here."

Mom and aunt looked slightly dumbfounded and at the same time in awe, Asher was a good looking man, good looking would be an understatement. His perfect face, his forest green eyes, his larger than life frame had my family left confused.

The sadness in mom's eyes were replaced with curiosity and for once I was relieved that Asher was successfully able to distract them and grab all their attention away from their pain even if it was for a few moments.

"Come in you two. It's cold outside." Aunt Carol said walking us in the tiny living room.

"Mom what happened?" I asked with a heavy heart.

"He didn't wake up." Her eyes welled up again and I regretted asking her about Gramps passing. "It happened this morning. Auntie Suzan is on her way. The neighbours just left, the house is a mess, I'm tired." Frustrated tears rolled down her cheeks. She wasn't just tired, her world had turned upside down in a single day. She looked devastated yet hiding most of what she felt.

One thing common among everyone in the room was we loved to hide our pain or problems. We kept secrets that weighed heavily on us. Asher and I came from completely opposite places yet we were tainted the same.

"Don't worry, I'm here, I'll take care of it. Do you want to rest ?" I grabbed her shoulders, making her look at me.

"No. I'll just sit." Mom said before turning to Asher.

"Would you like some Tea Mr uh—" She blinked at her innocently.

"Grayson." Asher stated, forcing a small smile just for her sake.

He was trying hard not to come off rude.

"Mr Grayson." Mom said giving him a tired smile.

"Yes, thank you."

"You're a man of few words."

Asher cleared his throat as I immediately got on to work.

I knew he hated me, he would rather take me outside and yell at me than sit here and sip on tea. I wish I could explain everything to him. Tell him I  have loved him all along before it's too late.

Maybe it is too late.

Time has run out of its course for each one of us in a different way.

Tying my hair in a bun, I quickly started cleaning up the place, clearing off the large pile of used cups on the table which indicated there were people here before us, an unsettling feeling moved through my chest as the thought of not being able to be here on time irked me. Not being able to comfort my mother when she needed me the most. Not being able to say goodbye...

"Sophie — Sophie." My line of thoughts broke as aunt Carol called out my name. "Are you okay?"

I nodded swiftly.

I wasn't.

You've been standing there for the past five minutes.

"Oh." was all I could say. My eyes moved to Asher who looked at me with an indescribable expression. He took a sip of his tea and reverted his eyes.

"I must have zoned out." I said as I cleaned the kitchen platform. Putting the used dishes in the sink to wash them later.

"What do you do Mr Grayson? Mom asked and I froze.

"I own The Foresight, it's a publishing company. My father was an industrialist and I've partly taken over his business. The other half is handled by my brother." Asher answered calmly.

I never knew what Asher did or any of the Graysons did. I wouldn't lie I was surprised. Asher talked with ease about his work and I could see a sense of satisfaction and determination in his voice. He was proud of what he was doing. I was glad he decided to go back to work again.

"Oh, Everyone knows The Foresight, it's quite popular. And what does sophie do for you?" Mom eyed me.

"Clean. I clean." I said before Asher could. I had told mom that I was working some temporary jobs while dealing with college.

Neither I had a job nor I was in college anymore. Great.

"I'm in the cleaning staff, mom."

"It's very kind of you to drive my daughter all the way here from the city. You're a gentleman Mr Grayson." My mother looked at him with stars in her eyes by this point.

He nodded. Taking another sip of his tea. His neck turning a blotchy red under my mother's gaze.

My perfect plan crumbled before it could have been executed. It burned down to ashes. I had to throw my husband into a situation he would never choose to be in. I made him trust me to only break every ounce of it in seconds.

I wondered if Asher had built a sandcastle too, hoping the waves would be kinder this time. Only to find out that the waves were worse than ever.

This time I was the wave.

"When is the funeral mom?" I asked breaking my line of thoughts.

"Sunday." She said letting out a sigh.

3 days from now.

Asher watched me as I moved around effortlessly like I knew my way around. Because I did. Nothing has changed. It was all the same like it has been. Not even the spice jars were moved from one cabinet to another.

For the most part I avoided making eye contact with him. I was scared to look at him for too long and see how hurt he was because of me.

Pouring myself a cup of tea from the kettle I settled myself on the couch, it sank under my weight making me realise that it was older than me like most of the things we had.

I made sure there was a reasonable distance between Asher and I.

Aunt Carol was fascinated. She couldn't take her eyes off Asher. No matter how quiet he liked to be, his presence was larger than he could imagine, wherever he went he drew attention to himself without even doing anything. Even when we were out dining I always noticed how people looked at him. Almost mesmerised but too scared to approach.

"You have a ring." Aunt Carol eyed my hand and then looked at mom.

They were talking with their eyes, like they always did. I found it annoying. Both of the ladies were slowly turning their detective mode on I could sense it. Their head snapped in Asher's direction but he was already staring at them like he knew what was coming next. His eyes held a warning.

Their eyes lingered on us. The bell chimed in catching our attention and breaking the tension, I sighed in relief. "I'll get that." Mom said walking to the main door.

"Auntie Sarah!" A little voice exclaimed before embracing mom's legs with tiny hands. "Are you okay?" A girl not more than five years old frowned at my mother with concern.

"Yes, sweet thing." mom picked up the little girl and settled her snuggly on her hip.

"Have you been crying or is it the pollen again?" She asked innocently and my heart broke. I wish it was just pollen.

"It's the pollen baby." Mom lied. Carrying her into the living room, a man and a woman in their early thirties followed her.

The woman embraced Aunt Carol. No words were exchanged but I felt every emotion that was.

Sometimes words aren't enough, they cannot soothe the pain, they cannot undo things. Sometimes words aren't needed.

The woman pulled away from aunt Carol and embraced me before I could say anything. "Hi, Sophie I've heard a lot about you. I must say you're beautiful like Sarah." She squeezed my shoulder in a comforting manner.

I smiled at her. She had kind eyes and the most stunning blonde curls.

"I haven't heard of you sir." The woman smiled at Asher.

"He's my boss, he drove me here." I quickly said. I sounded like a parrot yapping the same thing again and again at this point.

"Hello, I'm Asher Grayson." Asher said giving me the side eye for talking over him once again. I was getting on his nerves. Asher must be overwhelmed from all that he had to learn about me today. I wondered what he was thinking. Probably the worst of my expectations.

"I'm Gemma and this is my Husband. We met Sarah and George last year at the sunday mass. That's my daughter Reggie." Gemma said turning to her daughter.

"Reggie, would you mind playing with this young man for a while?" With that mom dropped Reggie in Asher's lap in the blink of an eye. Asher froze in place before inhaling deeply.

Oh no.

This was bad news.

.

Author's note.

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Ps : Asher's pov coming up next.

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