Hello! Please read the author's note after you're done reading this chapter. I hope you enjoy it. I'd suggest reading chapter-32 before reading this one to get in sync again.

Unedited.

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And then everything snapped.

It felt so.

Bones cracking, heart shattering, my body wanting to repulse away from him, all because of the familiar frame, her sultry hips, the long blond waves.

I opened my mouth and closed it. My husband completely unaware of what was going inside of me, of how disconnected I felt in that moment. A hollow wave of anger and uncertainty coursed through my body.

Lily...

Lily.

It was Lily.

I blinked making myself believe I was hallucinating but I knew I wasn't. I saw her. I could recognise her anywhere. How did she get here? Why was she here? My body stiffened in Asher's arm.

"I saw Lily." I said, my voice diminishing to a soft inaudible whisper.

"What?" Asher said, he sounded like he couldn't care less. He was warm, so warm but I felt my insides freezing. Lily was infamous for ruining my tiny happy bubble every damn time. I couldn't let that happen today.

"Lily." Her name left my mouth and I fisted his shirt afraid he'd be snatched away from me any moment now.

"Don't be ridiculous." He kissed the top of my head. I felt unfazed.

"I did." I wanted him to believe me but even a party of me didn't want to believe myself. With every second passing by my chest felt heavier.

"Where is she?" He asked pulling away a little, the little distance he put between us snapped me out of trance making me look at him, a frown marred on his handsome face, the light shadowed the high points of his face making him look like a dark fictional character I've never read about.

"She went that way." I looked over his shoulder making sure she was actually gone.

"Sophie, look here."

And I did.

"Do you want to enjoy this night or ruin it because of someone else?" He held my face in his hand and pressed a long kiss to my lips, I sighed.

"I want to enjoy this night with you." I said, ignoring the knots in my stomach.

"You will." He smiled devilishly at me.

We were on the dance floor, moving ever so slowly and then we weren't.

We were surrounded by the crowd and then we weren't.

I couldn't feel his heart beating and then I could feel it everywhere.

Somehow, I was pressed against a wall and he was all over me, his lips on mine, his fingers brushing the inside of my thighs, my hand inside his shirt, I could still hear the music, the wall behind me continuously vibrating from the strong bass of the music. I thought we could for once be in the crowd but we were not made for them, we were made for forbidden rendezvous, we were made to just cherish each other, find our little bubble in the loudest place. He wasn't mine, I wasn't his but we pretended well damn good. I'd play this game forever.

"You scare me sweetheart."

My heart skipped a beat and my body turned into mush.

"Just like you scare me." I whispered leaning into him.

My hand moved to the front of his jeans and I quickly unbuttoned it, slipping my hand in before he could stop Asher froze and cursed biting my lower lip as my fingers wrapped around him, my breathing got shallow as his lips came down to the crook of my neck and his hand moved up my dress. I was too courageous for no reason.

There was no one around us, one moment we were on the dance floor the other Asher was dragging me away, looking for a secluded spot and the moment he found one, he didn't hold himself back.

My thumb brushed over his tip before I moved my hand ever so slowly over his length, I didn't know what I was doing, my insides shook, I was a ball of nerves but I felt the need to please him, "Shit, we-were in public, don't-"

It was hard to move my hand freely because he still had his jeans on but I still managed to rub him, his length growing prominently in my hand, my fingers tightening around him, "Sophie, yes, god yes, don't," he gripped my waist tightly, his eyes closed, his forehead on mine. He grew harder every second, my thoughts ran wild wanting him inside me, I knew he'd hurt me but a sick part of me wanted it. I stroked him faster, running my thumb over his wet tip while grabbing his shoulder with my other hand, his hands dug in my waist, bruising my skin.

"Don't." He whispered as he thrusted in my hand.

"You want this."

"Yes." He gritted out.

"Then let me,"Asher was so conflicted and I loved that, he kissed the corner of my mouth then moved to my lips-

Something buzzed making both of us freeze, it was his phone. His damn phone. The same one that wouldn't stop ringing. Asher immediately pulled away and buttoned his jeans, he couldn't hide what we've just done, not even his jeans could hide, that were now tight on him.

He stared at the screen this time I did too out of curiosity. Lily's name flashed on the screen and my chest was suddenly heavy.

"Answer it" I said , his dark eyes fell on me still full of want and something so intense and indescribable.

Blinking he walked a few steps away from me.

"I told you to not call me." He ran a hand through his hair trying to control his heavy breathing. He looked so frustrated. I stared at him, leaning against the wall behind me. I didn't know how to feel. His eyes moved to the floor and then back to me, wild, needy, menacing. His stare told me the things he wanted to do to me and I blushed crimson under his gaze.

"You're what?" He almost yelled and I frowned.

Suddenly, Asher was livid, fuming , close to exploding while I was simply clueless.

Something told me I knew exactly what was happening.

He grabbed my hand and started dragging me out of the club, "where are we going?" I asked as he slipped his hand down my wrist interlacing our fingers.

"Back to the hotel."

"Why?"

"Lily is here. "

I stopped dead in track and yanked my hand from his. "Why is she here?"

"How am I supposed to know that?"

"I'm not going." I said looking away.

"I'm not leaving you here." Asher said.

"We were suppos-"

"I fucking know, okay? But we have to leave." He was way too angry to listen to me.

I nodded as an ugly ache spread through my body. I wanted to say something, anything, but I couldn't speak.

We walked back to the hotel room, Asher taking long hurried strides I didn't even try to match his steps and he never once looked at me the whole time, his body was so tense his muscles must be hurting. I felt nothing or maybe I just felt way too much to the point where my system couldn't understand my know emotions.

We reached the hotel, as soon as we entered the main lobby I spotted Lily, her hair styled to perfection, her white knee length summer dress making her look like an angel and her nude pumps bringing the look together while I just wanted to hide behind Asher.

The dress, the makeup, the shoes that I thought were beautiful looked nothing compared to hers. She stood up as we neared her and immediately threw herself on Asher.

I found myself stepping away, letting them have their moment he wasn't mine afterall. "Where are you going?" Asher asked, grabbing Lily's shoulders and prying her off him, holding her at an arm length as if he was afraid she'd try to be all over him again.

"The restroom, I'll be right back." I couldn't even look at him, I immediately turned around and rushed away blindly, I didn't even know where the restroom was. Somehow, My blurry vision lead me to the restroom. I sighed closing the door behind me I leaned against the counter wondering what to do, my stomach grumbled.

I stared at the sink with a new found interest. Too scared to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't even know how to face myself. I was ashamed. I let him do it again and again. I let him pick me up, throw me then pick me up again just to do it all over again.

The door opened catching my attention but I didn't turn to look who it was. I took a deep breath trying to collect myself.

"You look like a rich slut." My head snapped to the voice, my eyes widening a little. I couldn't speak. "Listen up, I don't have time to waste on you so I'll make it short and simple. Leave Asher and I alone. Go to your room, order something nice for yourself eat, cry, sleep. Whatever, just leave us alone."

"But-"

"You really think he wants you ? I'm sorry to break it to you honey, he doesn't, you're just his timid little lamb for now leave, don't even try, Asher wants to spend time with me that's why he asked me to come here."

"I'm not going to listen to you-"

"Wait a second, you think I don't know about the double life you're living " Lily said with a smug look on her face.

My heart thudded loudly and my eyes widen, "I know everything Sophie and if you don't want me to burst this beautiful money loaded bubble of yours, leave us alone."

"You're going to tell him whatever you know? Go ahead, he still won't be yours, I've seen the way he wanted to anywhere but close to you, keep dreaming." I was shaking a part of me was afraid she'd do it, I didn't want her to. Suddenly I wanted to beg her, apologise for talking back .

Lily looked so agitated. A moment later hot burn slashed across my cheek as her hand came down me.

She slapped me.

I stood their dumbfounded, my cheek hurting from the impact. I didn't know what to say or do. she left the restroom, tears rolling down her beautiful face, I was prepared for her but not for what I saw when I followed her, my heart was yet again into pieces , she hugged Asher, crying in the middle of the lobby and asher immediately wrapped her arms around her, it was then I realised it was my time to leave. I stepped backward not being able to take this blow before making my way to them room.

Asher.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean?" Lily sniffed wiping off the single tear that barely rolled down her face, careful enough to not ruin her perfect face of makeup. I looked over her head to see Sophie walking back to the room, hopefully. I grabbed Lily's arm and pulled away from her.

"Why are you crying?" I asked completely unfazed by her tears.

If things were different I would have considered my apathy normal but only a few minutes ago I felt ruined a little more than I already was seeing Sophie cry.

It started with a strange pang the first time I ever saw her cry, I ignored it. I didn't care but her tears still affected me. It kept getting worse each time. As if everytime I hurt her someone dropped a rock in my pot of sins. I hated it. I wanted to ruin anybody who made her cry, who hurt her. But I was the only one who ever did and I was already ruined.

"Your Little toy slapped me." My eyes widen slightly in amusement and I was itching to smile. Lily's eyes narrowed at me.

"You need to keep her on leash." She gritted out. I wanted to tell her to shut up but knowing Lily I knew she'd make a scene out here.

"Don't tell me what to do. Tell me why are you here?" I exhaled running a tired hand down my face.

I felt exhausted in her presence, loathing every second, hoping she'd stop talking soon. Her gray eyes were just cold, mean, calculative. She wasn't the person I knew but I never knew her in the first place.

I wanted to ask her when did she lose herself or where. I wanted to ask her if she ever felt like I did. I wanted to know how she managed to keep it all together after everything. As much as I wanted to ask I didn't need any answers. I didn't need anything from her.

"I came to see you, I missed you Ash, I couldn't wait two more days to see you."
She was desperate but for what? Her eyes held nothing for me.

I didn't know a person's eyes could open up their whole world in front of you until I decided I'd look longer than I should in those green eyes that never leave my thoughts.

She took a step forward. I took a step back shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans.

"Asher." I said trying not to glare at her.

"Asher," she repeated looking down, embarrassed.

"What do you want from me?"

"Just you." I stared at her until her face dissapeared..

I wanted nothing more than to go back to Sophie. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Maybe I'd like Lily if I replaced her face with Sophie , that would be evil but so was I. Her face, her innocent eyes, her hands, her lips. I wish I could drag her back to the same lonely place in the bar, tell her to forget everything that happened, forget that lily showed up, and push her against the same wall, put my hands all over her smooth skin, my lips on hers again.

"Asher...Asher, are you even listening?"
Lily's voice snapped me back to reality and immediately dreaded the present, I was better an hour ago.

I hate to admit it but I miss her.

"You're going to go back as soon as possible."

"Please talk to me."

"I'm talking."

"Not like this. Where's the Asher I used to know. " Lily said and my spine straightened. I needed to get away from her.

"Dead."

"Please don't say that."

"Where are you staying?"

"Right here." She said, I noticed she didn't have any luggage. I wanted to ask her if she was at the night club.

"Who told you I'm here?"

"Your mother." Of course. I thought shaking my head.

"Go back to your room. I'll see you in the morning."

"Come with me." She looked at me with hopeful eyes.

"No, I have to be somewhere."

"Where? With your little new toy?" She taunted.

I didn't say anything, my jaw clenched. "She won't be new forever, you'll get bored one day. You should take a closer look at her, she doesn't fit in."

I know, somehow she has managed to make some space for herself in my mind and in my chest and I'm fucking scared Lily. She makes me feel things I don't want to feel, she makes me feel things no one else could, I'm going to keep her until these feelings fade or until she hates me because I don't know how to treat her better. Maybe you're right, she's my toy and I will use her until she decides she doesn't want to be played around anymore.

"Earth to Asher." Lily said frowning at me.

"Go to bed." With that I turned around and walked away from her, anywhere just away from her. I couldn't go to the room yet, Sophie must be awake. I was in no mood to answer her many questions. Some that she asked some that she hoped I would answer without her asking.

I walked out of the hotel and into the back garden, the strong smell of lemon hit me and brought about a calm with it. I sat on an empty picnic bench and looked up at the sky. The sky was clear, there were barely any stars.

You didn't have to leave me to deal with all of this by myself.

My jaw clenched and my fingers ached.

I am failure. I failed everyone, everything. I failed you, baby. I'm sorry.

I looked up at the sky until I started feeling like a fool.

My head dropped to the ground and my mind reeled back to Sophie.

I ruined her birthday. She was so happy. I didn't know she would be so happy to receive the new shoes and phone. It was refreshing seeing her be so vulnerable to me. I've bought presents for women before but none of them reacted like Sophie did or maybe they did and i just never noticed. I memorised everything, her wide eyes laying on the box of shoes for the First time in the bathroom a frown making it way to her face as she stared at the box confused like she wasn't used to receiving gifts to the way she skipped with her new shoes on, her smile brighter than before.

And when I thought nothing could beat the reaction she had for the shoes she proved me wrong as she held her new phone like it was the most precious thing ever, she was on the verge of crying, I couldn't keep my eyes of her.

I spent money recklessly every now and then, I considered the present as another reckless purchase with no thought attached but who was I kidding, I saw her nasty shoes, I hated them so I got rid of them. I didn't want her to get lost, her phone was older than me and not trustworthy so I got her a new phone.

It was all for my convenience in the end.

Yes. All for my convenience.

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Sophie.

Hours passed, I just sat on the bed thinking, turning and tossing in bed feeling absolutely shitty that's when I heard the door open, I didn't even look at him as he walked into the room, unclapsed his watch, placed it on the night stand before sitting on my side of the bed facing me.

"She's gone." He said, his eyes roaming all over my face.

His words didn't make me feel any good. I was tired. Tired of staying, tired of loving. I didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry." I hated how his words rang through my body followed by goosebumps that spread like wildfire when he touched my cheek. His jaw clenched as he started at me, my skin burned as he moved his thumb back and forth. I didn't lean into his touch, just stared at his neck. He kept rubbing my cheek as if he was trying to get rid of the red marks lily left on my cheek. He looked angry.

He wasn't apologising for what he did but for what Lily did

Who is she to you? why does she follow you everywhere? why don't you just tell her to stay away? why do you let her walk all over me?

I knew I wasn't going to get any answers so i didn't ask any questions. I bit the inside of my cheek and swallowed.

"Asher."

"Yes, Sophie." He said, still caressing my cheek.

"I'm so done with you." I gritted out as my eyes stung with unshed tears. I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from my cheek. I looked down and inhaled a shaky breath.

"Goodnight, Sophie."

My heart dropped to my stomach. I wanted him to stay, to fight for me. He always gave up so easily. I stared at his back until the door closed. My vision blurred as my heart squeezed painfully.
I was going to spend another night alone.

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The awkward silence had killed every bit of sanity I had and somehow I still managed to act decently. My feet tapped impatiently against the cool marble floor, the cup of coffee in my hand was turning cold, I didn't have an appetite. This morning when I woke up the bed on Asher's side was unmade which made me think if he slept in last night but there was no trace of him in the room.

I just wanted him to say something. I refused to look at him directly. I could see him in my peripheral vision, moving around, getting ready for the day.

Today was different. He was usually cold, indifferent towards everything but today there was some kind of sadness attached to his every move. To an outsider he was still a fine looking man who had everything in control. I wondered if he had slept or the last meal he had or when he had it. The baby blue shirt was supposed to bring out the blue in his eyes but they didn't today.

Yesterday was supposed to be perfect. And it was untill Lily showed up. I didn't understand the deal with her but everytime she was around I would feel like a tiny black dot, just nothing.

Why am I still with him? Dealing with all the shit he put me through?

I've asked that question to myself so many times i still didn't have a definite answer but i did have a broken heart and an injured ego.

I wondered if he ever thought about me enough to realise that I've been hurting and every little moment spent with him when we weren't giving each other a cold shoulder sparked so much happiness inside of me.

I wasn't myself anymore, I was more of him. If he was happy, I was. If he was sad, I was. If he was hurting, I was.

And sometimes I was the only one hurting, all because of him.

It was a damn cycle and I wanted to break through.

He picked up his phone from the little coffee table and that was when I snapped, I couldn't keep up the strong girl act anymore, my pride went out of the window and into the sea. "Where are you going?" I asked, gulping down the lump that formed in my throat.

"We're meeting Lily." He said turning to face me.

We.

"Why?"

He stared at me and then a slight frown made it's way to his face. "My mother wants me to show Lily around."

I frowned, my mind joining all the tiny dots together. Asher knew his way around. Not once did he stop to ask for directions, not once did I find him contemplating if we were on the right path or not.

My mother wants me to show Lily around
As if he's been here long enough to have every spot embedded in his memory.

His eyes moved down my body staying a little longer on my bare feet. "You aren't ready?"

I shook my head." I don't want to go. "

"I didn't ask you if you want to go or not."

I just gave him a black stare, gripping my cup of now cold coffee.

His jaw ticked. "Get ready she'll leave for Sorrento in a few hours."

I nodded. She was going to leave soon which made me sigh out of relief.

"Asher-" i said as he turned around making him pause and face me.

"Yes?"

"Have you been here before? You seem familiar to this place."

"I would spend the summers here."

I thought about the Polaroid I have of him at the beach with Scarlett.

"Why did you stop?"

"It was my home until it was not."

His eyes stayed on mine for a moment longer, they said everything he didn't say, I still couldn't understand a word just the misery behind those blues. I didn't ask any more questions because I knew he wouldn't answer me.

He turned around and walked into the closet, He didn't need anything from the closet, he wanted to get away from me and walking out of the room would create another bump in our already bumpy relationship.

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Author's note.

Hello!! I hope everyone is doing great. My exams got postponed so i decided to post. I'm still not in the writing zone and it was Hard to put together this chapter. I knew what i wanted to write but i couldn't figure out how to write it. I've been in a writing rut for a while and I'm trying to get out of it slowly.

If you have any constructive critisism  do not hesitate to share.

As much as it is my story it is yourself too and I'd love to hear about it from you.

Also, what do you think of Asher and Sophie so far?

I'll see you soon. Don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE.

Stay safe, bye

Garima