Hii! I think this song perfectly fits with the story. I'm amazed how every word seems to be made for Asher and Sophie. Thank you Adequate_ifrit for pointing that out. ❤️

Don't forget to read the author's note.

Sometimes I just want to rush through chapters because I'm curious to know what's gonna happen but then I realise by the end of it how I lost the chance to "feel" something, anything in all the rush. I hope you don't make the same mistake. ❤️

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Unedited.

"I don't think I can walk anymore," my legs were on fire and my insides had turned into a sludge, the sun wasn't pretty anymore, it seeped into my skin and told me my husband was Satan's reincarnation.

The man had no damn limits.

We've had been walking for a while now, I was breathing like a dying whale and this man, he was still a rock that was yet to be weathered.

"It's a view point." He said completely ignoring my complaints. His shirt stuck to his back like a second skin, It curved onto every lean rippling muscle he'd been hiding. I couldn't help but stare.

"I know." I said shaking my head trying to get rid of all the weird thoughts crowding in my head.

"Tired, already?" The humour in his voice taunted me.

I was wheezing, Asher just stared at me with an uninterested look that morphed into something smug the moment he found me glaring at him.

"Yes." I managed to utter out. "What are you made of? we walked four miles, act a little human and complain." I continued glaring at him, everything about me was as intimidating as a chipmunk on crack.

His deep taunting laughter rang in my ears as I sat down on one giant rock by the road side and buried my face in the palms of my hands, I felt Asher's presence close to me. When I opened my eyes he was standing right beside me looking ahead, I followed his gaze. For a second, I forgot to breathe. In the middle of all the complaining and being annoyed, I missed what we were here for.

Another view so captivating I was left speechless, just like Asher, the Blue-Green water was glistening like a shiny pearl under the sun and somehow that was enough, the peace came with knowing that Asher for once appreciated the beauty of the ocean. He was somewhere else, I could tell by the look on his face. I wondered if he was underwater. I wondered if he was sinking even when we were quite a few feet above the sea.

I leaned my head against his side and my action immediately caught his attention, his hand ran down my hair , moving them away from my face.

"If I get lost again don't try to find me, I want to wake up to this everyday." I said taking in every little detail, there wasn't much to remember, it was just the endless water and the sound of waves crashing against the rocks. Only if I could remember that sound and relive it even when the ocean was nowhere to be found.

"Tell me something."

I frowned at his words.

"Good or bad?" I asked tipping my head up to look at him.

"Bad."

I went quiet, I knew what I wanted to tell him but I wasn't sure if I should.

"I've been thinking about this man," as those words left my mouth Asher's hand slipped off of my shoulder and he walked towards the railing at the other side of the narrow road, looking down at the sea. My insides froze and I didn't want to continue but I did. "I don't remember much about him." I lied, I remembered him like it was just yesterday when I last saw him winking at me before driving away in his truck.

"Then why are you thinking of him?" It was a low gritted whisper but I heard it.
I was glad he wasn't looking at me.

"There was a time when I had to do things," I paused and exhaled. " things I didn't like for money, now look at me... I'm on a vacation, an expensive one. How did this happen?" I smiled because I didn't know what else to do.

He turned around the torn and rough expression on his face made my stomach turn.

"He gave me money so that I could buy something for myself on Christmas." I couldn't look at him in the eyes, I wanted to, with every word my fear of being judged grew.

When I looked up he was staring at me with a knowing look on his face, waiting for me to continue as he shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

"I let him touch me," I paused, my mind reeling to the back of his truck, the dim light coming from the window, the smug and eager look on his face, his clampy hands and the 15 year old Sophie trying to act cool like it wasn't a big deal, being touched the way that should have been special, that shouldn't have been out of helpless reasons. That shouldn't have been with a stranger for money. A wave of tremors coursed through my body and I tensed, "-he had a wife I didn't know that."

His jaw ticked and his narrowed ever so slightly making me uncomfortable. "I saw him with her in the supermarket one day and I cried so much. I was ashamed."

He kicked a stone and I flinched and immediately looked down, Asher was mad, I wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole. At this point I couldn't turn back, take my words back, I couldn't even stop I had to continue. There was no way out of this. I messed up again and I wasn't completely regretting it. It was now or never.

"He told me it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't  a homewrecker. He said, he was sad because she was cheating on him, I did it again because I needed the money, I let him touch me again."

He greeted me with sickening silence.

"Those days were hard. Then my mother's business took a flight and things came easy," I lied. Stupid sophie. I let my heart out and realised my life was a lie, I couldn't let him know the truth that if it wasn't for him I would have been still working at the Café and struggling to keep my stomach full. "It's just hard to forget what happened..."

"Do you see me any differently now?" Asher looked deep in thoughts. I felt nothing but unwanted in that moment. He walked up to me and I looked down at the ground as he sat beside me. He gripped my knees and I felt all my doudts washing away.

"Tough times, tough calls, Callister." His words rang through my body like a beautiful chant that I was dying to hear.

"So you don't?" My voice cracked making him look at me.

He simply smiled and my stomach flipped as thousands of fireflies invaded me. The little gesture filled me with so much courage I was seconds away from spilling out everything I've been hiding.

"I want to tell him that I know his wife wasn't cheating on him and I didn't let him touch me again out of pity," I wanted Asher to see everything, even the things I was still hiding, even the things that didn't matter like the tiny crescent scar on my shoulder and the sound of coins that rang in my mind everytime I thought of Gramps. "I did it because all I could think about was the 20 dollar bills in his hand and the pretty scarf on sale that I wanted to buy for my mother."

His grip on my knee tightened for a second before his hand moved up and squeezed my thigh his thumb ran back and forth in a comforting way, I couldn't tell by the look on his face what he was thinking, it fueled my anxiety.

Why aren't things just easy like a beautiful fairytale?

Why isn't he just mine?

What are we fighting for?

"It wasn't his fault, I willingly participated." I said trying to ease things. I didn't know if it was helping.

"He lured a minor into a sexual act , doesn't matter if it was consensual."

"But-"

"But?" His tone made me want to curl into a ball. "You're defending him?" Asher was fuming, he looked disgusted.

I blinked at him. Why was I defending him? David.

I liked to pretend he didn't have a name, it made it easier to think that it was all just a made up lie in my head and nothing real but that man had a name and I hated it. David.

"I wanted to end Charlie, I wish I did. I don't know what I'd do with the man who exploited you and  made you believe that it was your fucking fault." He seethed and I inhaled.

"You can't just turn every man who has done me wrong into your personal punching bag."

"I definitely can." He looked me dead in the eyes and I saw how he meant it.

"Sometimes, you seem like a terrifying person who can do terrifying things." And you're just good at hiding that. My mind went back to him punching Charlies face ruthlessly like a heartless man. I got to my feets and started picking out tiny purple and yellow flowers growing around the rock. I needed a distraction. They were wild, probably allergic but I still kept picking them. He didn't say anything neither did I.

"What about your father?"

I paused and stared at the flowers, my heart squeezing painfully. My jaw worked, for a second I wanted to throw those flowers on his face, not that it was going to hurt him. I hate that he even mentioned my father but it wasn't his fault. I forgot he existed, I forgot about the picture of him and I still hanging in the tiny living room of my house that I loathed. Memories came flooding and I wanted to throw up.

"I don't have a father." I started stacking the stems together, wanting to explode into tiny nothings. I hated the way I felt. I hated how the men in my life made me feel so little, like I was nothing and the ache inside of me was insignificant. I hated that I still loved them. My father had the guts to create me but not stay.

He inhaled then slowly exhaled, looking around.

"He's alive." Hopefully. Unfortunately. I said looking over to the sea then back at him.

Asher was quiet again. Sometimes, there's nothing to say but so much to listen to, it was one of those moments. I was glad he didn't tell me he was sorry. There was nothing to be sorry about, some people are just not meant to be in your life even if you need them but life goes on with or without them.

"Tell me about your Dad?"

Asher gave me a look, it seemed familiar to the look I passed on to the ground when he mentioned my father . Like he wanted to throw me over the railing into the ocean, that mere look gave away everything. We were on the same page somehow.

"It's Hard to see someone you love-" loved, I wanted to correct him but I extended my hand forward offering him the flowers and Asher stared at them, his mouth slightly parted in surprise and an indescribable emotion passed over his features. He quickly build the walls back and his face was a void again as he took the flowers and I smiled. He liked them, I just knew it "-leave." He shook his head trying to gain control over himself again. "It's easy when they don't love you. It was easy for me. It doesn't matter if he exists or not. He's just like anyone else for me. I don't forgive."

My chest constricted. I don't forgive. The word rang in my head taunting me.

Would you forgive me for all the lies I've told and all the things I had to hide away just to be yours?

"Did he ask for your forgiveness?" His eyes met mine for a second before he looked away.

"Yes." He looked down at the flowers in his hand, twisting the fragile stem between his fingers. "He got into a car accident a week later, paralysed waist down. I realised it really didn't matter. Words are not just words."

I waited for him to continue and took a seat beside him. If I had to lie to him just to keep him I would, maybe I could just tell him everything and just hope he'd understand. That seemed impossible to me, especially right now.

"Anton and I were never his children just a part of his monopoly. He disowned him the second he was diagnosed with Autism. Little did he know, I was just a gentle version of Anton. I'm sure he knew but he overlooked it because I was the new face of his company." I leaned into him placing my hand over his large one, he turned his hand and our fingers entwined. Perfect.

He looked down at our joined hands. I squeezed it twice, he squeezed mine back once.

"They don't consider him their son."

It was my turn to listen because that was all he needed, someone to listen.

The worst part of falling; when they dig old graves, when they let you inside, let you see things nobody has ever seen, you fall deeper in the trap of love and you know there's no way out of it. Asher was doing it right now, letting me deeper into his world and I was fucking clueless.

"I hate attending the crowds, talking like I fucking care, like I want to be there. I want to be left alone." He let out a harsh breath and gripped me hand harder. "I gave myself a break and put Anton in charge. Things changed drastically. He couldn't see Anton over me, he couldn't come in terms with him being in power and I loved watching him being helpless and stuck on that goddamn wheelchair.

"You don't work anymore?" I asked. Asher had no heart for his father and I knew why, because all his heart was with Anton.

"I  have the last call on every decisions, Anton takes care of the rest."

He let go of my hand and I scowled at my warm empty palm.

"I've always had money and power but thats all I've ever had. I contemplate every passing moment if I should destroy everything he owns." He gritted out.

"What if you could?" He stared at the sea for the longest time.

"I'd do it in a heartbeat, Callister. And disappear like I never existed." I didn't like how that sounded.

"What about Anton? You have to stay for him"

"Just Anton?" He asked smirking at me.

"Scarlett." Me.

"I'd make sure he's safe."

Anton was family. Only Anton.

"Take me with you. We can live some place that's not close to a ocean." I was internally screaming as soon as those words left my mouth. I didn't fail to sound like a love sick puppy. Stupid, so damn stupid!

He blinked at me. Don't look at me, don't look at me! forget I said that.

"We should head back." He said smiling, shaking his head slightly while I blushed crimson inside out. All I could do was to nod.

He stopped infront of a gelato truck and got us Gelato which immediately made my sore mood better.

I was surprised to see him holding a cone. That's progress. I thought to myself before thanking the Gelato Gods and worshipping their creation.

We walked side by side none of us talking or even trying to initiate a conversation. The silence wasn't awkward. I side eyed my husband to see if he was eating and yes, he was. I smiled looking around, humming a soft tune, waiting for him to tell me to shut up but he didn't.

Out of everything we could have talked about we decided to share the ugly parts of us while looking at the most beautiful view I've ever seen. It's not always about the happy moments sometimes it's about the not so pretty moments, memories that settle in the crevices, they never leave, they can only be broken down and shared. It's about giving a part of yourself to other and letting them decide if they want to keep it or not.

Someday, I'd tell him that I was in love with him, to the point where I had to keep kicking to keep my head above the surface. I was waiting for him to tell me to stop kicking and sink and that he'd meet me at the bottom.

I realised we were close to the hotel when I started seeing familiar spots, the ones we crossed this morning.

My eyes came to a halt on a man leaning against a wall on the side of the road looking tired, his clothes were old and dirty, his shoes barely keeping his feet secured. He reminded me of someone I've known my entire life. I gulped, my hands reached into my sling bag and I fished out some money.
I used to sleep with an empty stomach quite often and it wasn't the best time. I felt grateful being able to give back.

"That won't work. We're in Italy."

I groaned and then sighed. My heart dimmed and my jaw worked. I continued walking trying to avoid looking at the man. I forgot that the dollar bills I had wouldn't work here.

Asher stopped, pulled out his wallet and drew two bills out and handed it to the man as we neared him.

The man's eyes sparkled and then glistened with tears. I bet he was hungry. .my fist clenched as a wave of overwhelming emotions ran through me, I wanted to cry but all I did was to stare at Asher. He said something in Italian which I didn't understand but the way he spoke I knew it that Asher made his heart happy and mine aswell.

He knew how much that little act meant to me. He knew why I wanted to help. I was all warm inside knowing he cared.

We continued walking like nothing happened. I wanted to thank him but I didn't.

"Can... Can I take you out somewhere?"

Asher stopped abruptly and stared at me like I've grown two heads then he shook his head. "Do you even know your way around?"

"I saw a bar in the way, we can go there. The only problem is that I don't have money...if you could lend me some." I said avoiding his eyes.

He chuckled Shaking his head. "I could just take you there."

"But I want to take you out." I argued, frowning at him.

"Isn't it the same thing?"

Yes. No.

"It's not, I'll return the money when we get back." I was growing more nervous and embarrassed every passing moment.

"You don't have to. How much do you need?"

"I don't know yet--wait, Is that a yes?" My eyes widen as his words settled in.

"Do you know how to run?" Asher asked out of nowhere.

"What kind of question is that?" I was nothing but confused.

Asher's gaze moved from me to the empty street ahead, he shoved the flowers, he was still holding, in the back pocket. A cunning smile made it's easy to his face and before I could even blink he sprinted into a run.

"No way! You Cheater!!!" I yelled as I ran behind him. He was fast, way too fast.

I was afraid to lose him again so I ran harder trying to get ahead of him. He looked over his shoulder, laughing at me, one second I was running, the next I was sprawled on the side of the road. I could still hear his deep laugh. I didn't want him to stop laughing, my ears were ringing, I could feel blood rushing to my head but I didn't want him to stop laughing, it was so beautiful hearing him like that.

He turned around once again and spotted me on the ground, his laughter disappeared. Concern set on his features as he jogged towards me.

"Look at you-" I wheezed- "pathetic, breathing like that." I told him and he frowned looking nothing but confused. I wasn't feeling sane.

"It wasn't that hard," I coughed. "You're getting old."

"Did you hit your head or something?" He looked so agitated and concerned a laugh bubbled inside of me.

"Or something, I think I'm going to pass out." I let out a long sigh as I lifted myself off the ground and sat leaning against a wall.

"Okay."

I frowned at him. As I pulled off my sneakers, he eyed them warily. I gulped trying to ignore his stare. I wasn't like Lily, always put together. I couldn't stomp around in heels, I couldn't for god's sake always be dressed up. Asher preferred women like her it was pretty obvious.

"This is the part where you pick me up and carry me back to the hotel." I coughed , raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not doing that." He said with a flat expression.

"You're not watching enough Rom-Com. Shame." I shook my head, rolling my eyes incredulously.

"I'm not even listening to what you're saying anymore, you're not right in the head." He looked at me as if he was arguing with himself whether to leave me on the street or not.

"Let's keep that a secret."

"Woman..." He said shaking his head.

I grinned at him.

A few minutes walk to the hotel turned into a 30 minutes walk as I dragged myself at snail speed. Asher was kind enough to hold my hand, he seemed a bit agitated but his tight grip never wavered.

I let out a breath of relief when we reached our room. My phone buzzed and I reached for it in my sling bag. My fingers brushed on a soft material, drawing my attention. I pulled it out , it was the black tie I found outside our room, just a few steps away from the door, in Sorrento. I knew we were the only one on the floor which meant the tie belonged to Asher.

I waved it slightly and his hand paused on the door knob.

"Is this yours? I found when we were checking out." Asher stared at the tie looking nothing but amused, his eyes lit up for some odd reason.

"Yes." That was a weird yes, the mischief on his face didn't go unnoticed.

Okay then.

He opened the door, I didn't wait for a second before I plopped myself on the bed. A sigh escaped me as my muscles relaxed. The bed felt softer than I remembered. I didn't even have the energy to open my eyes completely. I could hear him moving around, unzipping and zipping his bag, rummaging through the cabinets in the bathroom. My breathing started to get even, I was trying hard not to sleep. I was drifting away, my body becoming weightless, my fingers started to numb. Cold wet fingers wrapped themselves around my ankle, my eyes shot wide open and my body tensed as I watched him lift my leg. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Sleep." I can't with you touching me. He loosened the lace of my sneakers and pulled them off of my feet. Crimson started to creep up my neck as he rubbed the base of my foot with his thumb. I was paralysed, too surprised to say anything. But I felt way too much in that moment, heat shot down my core and my heart was everywhere. He reached for my other foot and it was then I thought that my feet must be so gross and sweaty. It seemed like he didn't care. I wanted to slap his hand away but when his thumb pressed against the base again, I groaned closing my eyes.

.

.

Something buzzed, I frowned groaning and blinked in the darkness, immediately reaching out for it, my phone somehow managed to slip under the pillow. 2 voice messages from an unknown number flashed on the screen and I stared at it, still dazed and sleepy. The first one was sent almost three hours ago. As my surroundings started to make sense it hit me that the last message came through when we got back to the hotel room and I found Asher's tie in my purse.

Fuck, I've been out for three hours.

"Hey, it's me!!!" No way. "Happy birthday my sweet girl." My body went into a state of shock as my mother's voice reached my ears. My stomach was in knots and my chest ached.

"I know, it's not your birthday, yet—" I paused the message and sighed, it was almost 2 in the morning in Italy. I turned 20 sleeping on the softest bed, high on unrequited love. "—My phone broke, I borrowed a co-workers phone and I'm hiding in a stall right now, sorry about the whispers. I love you so much baby and I'm so proud of you. I miss you every day and yes, Gramps too. The old man is getting older, I hope you come to visit us soon. I'm sorry I couldn't get you a present this year but I'm sure gramps got something for you. I hope you have a wonderful day and please buy something nice for yourself, you deserve a treat. Oh, my bathroom break is almost over. I miss your voice. I feel like I should have just called."  She went quite, I could imagine her rubbing her nose like she usually did.  "—Visit us soon Sophie and happy bir-" I heard commotions on the other side of the phone and frowned, the voice message ended. I sat up straight , ready to send a message back but stopped, what would you say to her? Lies and more lies. Are you going to tell her that you're on a vacation with your husband who is nothing but a stranger to her while she is cleaning tables, mopping floors?

I couldn't lie to her. I held the phone as if it was my mother's little hands wondering how to get out of the mess I've landed myself into, the mess I've created was set to break hearts, if not Asher's than my mother's and definitely mine. I sighed not being able to think straight.

I caught movement in my peripheral view and looked over to see Asher in the balcony, sitting on an empty chair with his back to me. I crawled out of bed and slid the balcony door open without a second thought, I knew if I just laid there in the empty bed I'd cry until sleep decided to knock me out again. Being with him was better, I needed him even though I couldn't tell him that. He looked over his shoulders as he heard the glass door slide

"You're still up?" I asked folding my arms across my chest.

"Enjoying the view." I did not miss the sarcasm in his words. He tipped his head to look at me. I had the urge to bend down and give him a quick kiss, I shook my head dismissing the thought.

I could see nothing out there, the sound of waves crashing was the only proof that there was a sea ahead of us and a few lights scattered around.

"Come to bed, it's late." turning to him I leaned my back against the railing. My eyes travelled down his body, shamelessly. He managed to look good at one in the morning while my face was probably puffy and my hair a mess. Sometimes, I wondered if he actually always looked good or I was just way too deep in love and couldn't see anything bad. He must be tired, we walked a lot today.

"Don't tell me you're not tired because I know you are."

He stared at me blankly then sighed.
"I don't think I can be in that bed with you and not touch you."

All my thoughts came to an halt, I blinked at nothing, my body blushed crimson as his words slowly seeped in.

"I don't remember telling you to not touch me." I said with a new found confidence that was going to be the death of me.

leaning forward he stared down at nothing as he laced his fingers together. His eyes moved to my feet and I wanted to curl my toes in as his eyes  travelled up my body ever so slowly taking in as much as he could, his face gave nothing away, I couldn't tell what was he thinking as he gazed at me.

"You have no idea how hard it is to resist you at times." My heart dropped into my stomach and I traitor smile made it's way up to my face, I looked away trying to hide my smile. "I thought I was doing a fucking good job keeping a distance from you but I cannot get you out of my head." His tone was rough as if he wanted to lash out on me, his muscles tensed, he was being hard on himself trying to hold onto words he didn't want me to hear.

"I don't want you to keep a distance. If you touch me I'd not stop you."

He shook his head.

"I'm afraid of you touching me, Sophie but I want you to fucking touch me." He looked down at the floor then back up to me, those green eyes telling me things I couldn't comprehend.

"Let me then." I gulped.

"You're not ready to see what I hide." I didn't know what to say so I just stared at him waiting for a miracle to happen, the soft breeze blew through my hair, whispering in my ears, passing onto Asher. He looked up this time the green in his eyes darker.

"Then I won't see." those words tumbled out before I could stop myself or my feet as they took in me inside the room,  picking up the neck tie from the night stand I dropped it in his lap and stood in front of him with heart back in my throat and my hands shaking slightly. He stared down at the neck tie.

I moved down to my knees in front of him. Don't think, just do it. I chanted those words like a pray as my hand moved up and worked on the first button of his shirt which immediately caught his attention, he gripped my wrist stopping me from going any further and I waited for him to push me away.

He looked down at the tie again then my hands, my eyes focused on the bulging vein on his forehead, darkness enveloped me a second later, goosebumps spreading through my body like wildfire and my fingers fiddled with the buttons of his shirt, his breathe staggered as my finger tips grazed across the exposed skin. I wanted to flinch back because of the way that mere touch made me feel, my stomach flipped and dropped, I tried to imagine his skin under my fingers, I tried to imagine his face.

"Are you okay?"

He let out a bitter laugh , he wasn't okay but he didn't stop me. My hand moved down his stomach feeling the soft outline of his abs, feeling the muscles tense. "Fucking hell, Sophie." He hissed.

I felt him moving around and heard the slight rustling of his shirt..."Did you remove your shirt?" I asked gulping the lump in my throat.

"Yes." He gritted out. "I hate what you're doing right now."

I started to run my fingers hesitantly on the unknown canvas, I wanted to see him not just feel him. I wanted to remember how his skin looked and the shadows the faint light created, I wanted to see the look on his face. I could imagine his jaw ticking, his eyes rude as ever, his tense neck, I wanted to press my lips to his and make him realise that he was the one who was capable of damaging, not the other way around.

My fingers brushed against his jeans and he cursed under his breath. He grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers not letting me go any further.

he let go of my hand a second later I felt his warm hands against my cheek , cupping my face, my mouth parted, my fingers trembled against his skin. His touch was warm sunlight on a cold winter morning.

"You're the strangest creature I know." His thumb ran back and forth on my jaw and I shivered. "It took me a while to learn that you aren't someone to be played around with, Callister. And I still mess with you because I don't know how to do it any other way." He pressed his lips to mine, unmoving, heart shattering, it was the softest thing I've ever felt, the world went still around us. His nose pressed against mine as our lips stayed attached.

"You think I don't see it, I see you trying every single day, I see you fail because that's what I want. I want to fucking ruin you but leave a little light because a part of me always has an eye on you, to see you smile." I felt his lips on my cheek and I smiled turning warm. For a second, it was just him and his faltering breaths.

"You smile often, your voice cracks when you're too excited, you wear the most obnoxious pair of shoes, I want to burn them." His lips travelled up to my temple. One. Two. Three. He kissed me thrice and my gut turned painfully. This time I wasn't falling, I was floating on a soft cloud with him all over me.

I could feel his hot breath against my ear, as the side of his face pressed against my cheek. "I feed on you and the little things you bring along. "

He grabbed my hand and moved it up, I frowned feeling a rough patch of skin "This is the deepest scar on my body, it almost killed me." Something fell and broke within me, it turned into dust and dispersed with the wind.

"How?" I whispered

"It wasn't supposed to be that deep." He said moving away from me and I craved his touch immediately.

"You did that to yourself?" I asked, it was getting harder to talk.

"Yes."

I let out a shaky breath but didn't say anything.

He moved my hand again and I gulped. There were more. "This one, can you feel it?" I couldn't feel the scar this time but I knew there was one when he stopped
I shook my head and ran my thumb back and forth trying to feel the scar.

I wanted to run, anywhere, just away from him, away from the pain not just mine, his aswell. It was too much to take in. I've seen people around me hurting all my life but with Asher it was different, his pain felt so unbearable maybe because I loved him, I was not meant to love him like I loved my mom and gramps, I chose to love him. I chose to make his pain mine. I chose to be on my knees, blindfolded, hearing him tell me how he hurt himself, how he carried stories on his body.

He moved my hand again to an unknown territory, "you hid behind the kitchen door and watched me dress this one." His voice grew deeper as if he was holding back a river of emotions.

I was empty, I could hear my heartbeat bouncing everywhere, making the loudest sound and it wasn't just my heart that was unsettled. His stammered beneath my hand.

"This took the longest time to heel, it's also the ugliest one."

I gave a slight nod and let out a shaky breath not knowing what to say. I was glad he couldn't look at my eyes. I didn't know how long I could hold myself. It wasn't a dream, it was real and that was the worst part. With my eyes closed and my touch the only sense to feel him everything hit hard, if he ever asked me to draw one of his scars, I would, I had it imprinted in my mind.

"You're crying."

I shook my head as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead. "I told you you're not ready." He whispered against my skin, harshly.  He was holding himself back from scolding me, a sob escaped my mouth followed by another and then another. I just couldn't take it anymore. He moved away from me and my hands immediately extended blindly for him, they came in contact with the material of his shirt as he was putting it on.

"Ash— Asher—" my voice trembled.

"I'm right here."

I cried even harder as he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me like he was protecting me from something forgetting he was the one I need to be protected from, every little piece of my heart had been shattered by this man and I didn't know how to get away from him, the truth being, I didn't want to.

Words died and we became people with no history, it was Just the two of us holding each other, sitting on the balcony, I lost count of time with every passing second the sadness turned into something warm but it still lingered, I knew it would never leave. But with his arms around me, his lips pressed into my hair and my hand clutching onto his shirt nothing seemed impossible, no problem seemed too big even if it was just an illusion we were living in for the rest of the night.

"It's your birthday." It wasn't a question but I still nodded. I was caught off guard but looking unfazed was a better thing to do, I was surprised he could hear that voice message but then again Asher was full of surprises.

"Is that why you wanted to take me out.?"

I nodded leaning more into him. "You haven't said yes yet."

"I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Not really." I murmured into his neck smiling.

"There." He laughed, it ended too soon but not before vibrating through my body, bandaging every hurt he ever caused.

Author's note.

Hii! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Do tell me what you think.

I'm sorry for taking a long time to update I just try to do my best and not just publish something I'm not satisfied with.

I'll try to publish the next chapter sooner.

What do you think the upcoming chapters are going to bring?

Please don't forget to vote!!

Thank you for everything.

See you!

Garima❤️