Unedited. Writing after so long was hard and confusing, but I've tried my best. Not the perfect chapter but the story had to go on. I'll make sure the writing gets better as well as the story. ❤️

As promised, Asher bought me Gelato and to my surprise he got himself one aswell. I wondered if this was the silence before the storm, if he was preparing us both for something unexpected.

Asher seemed different today. Deep in his thoughts, away from me, away from himself. He liked to drift away but this time it felt different.

Rough fingers wrapped around mine as we walked into the elevator taking us to the penthouse. This was his life, grand but sad. This is how he loved it, living it the best way possible and getting nothing out of it. Our fingers entwined and I realised in that moment, he wanted me to drift away with him, he didn't want to do it alone. All I could do was lean into him, breathe in the air that surrounded him.

The elevator door opened revealing a pregnant woman, she gave me a soft, tired smile as she waddled in the elevator. Asher cleared his throat grabbing my attention and frowned at nothing.

If looks could kill the woman would have dropped dead. His grip on my hand tightened before he let go. She was in his space, she was in our space and he hated that. Asher stared straight ahead until the woman got off, her absence was filled with a loud sigh of relief from him.

Maybe, he hated everything. Simply everything.

We reached the penthouse and he disappeared in one of the many rooms. I entered the nearest room and set my bags at one corner before taking a quick shower even though I took one just a few hours ago, my skin felt sticky from the damp salty hue in the air.

When I entered the bedroom my eyes zeroed on the figure resting on the recliner looking up at the ceiling wall. Asher didn't look at me once, as I brushed my hair and made a loose braid, as I put on a dainty necklace, as I gave my lips and cheek some colour and put on some mascara. Then why did I feel the heaviness of his gaze on me all the time, burning holes in the back of my skull.

I could tell he wanted to say something. Maybe he wanted to scream. Scream at walls, at the sky or just me,get rid of the suffocation, the words he bottled inside of him but he did none of it. None.

We left the penthouse with a film over us, it almost felt suffocating. My life felt like a Polaroid in someone's wallet, a sweet memory, a great escape but this Polaroid was tainted. It was old, discolored, torn on the edges but it was adored.

Adored. That's what I felt when warm fingers wrapped themselves around my waist, almost possessively, guiding me into a room full of familiar strangers.

What happens when you decide to let everyone walk over you?

They hurt you, they step on you and they are never gentle, never careful, they do not hesitate before stomping on you.

When they're done and you've decided it's time to go home and sleep it out, all you can do is to weep, weep like a child who cannot be comforted, weep without tears, weep without a sound, weep with a smile on your face and the sun soothing your skin, holding your husband's hand as he guide you to room filled with the same people, who never cared and you once again put yourself on their mercy hoping they won't step too hard on you this time.

"Sophie."

"Y-yes." I blinked.

"Stop staring."

I frowned, my vision blurry and my heart a little faster than I'd like it to be. I blinked and my eyes focused on the heads turned towards me, looking at me like I was a fascinating science experiment, a fragile little thing, a rare black rose but I was none of that, I was an 'uncultured swine' that these women decided to turn into something beautiful just to be crushed in the end.

My jaw clenched at the thought, taking a shallow breath in I tried to chase away those thoughts.

I looked down and cleared my throat.

"They are here!" Scarlett said pushing her chair back as we walked further in the room, turning more heads. Asher squeezed my hand until i couldn't feel my fingers anymore and i liked that, i wondered how feeling nothing all over would feel like, especially right now.

His warmth disappeared from my side and my ears rang. Don't leave me don't leave me. My mind screamed over and over.

I smiled at everyone, nodding my heads at some while my ears rang, my body asking me to escape this mess but i found myself being dragged towards the huge table, "you look beautiful Sophie." Scarlett said.

Clayton nodded at me and I smiled Asher took a seat beside Clayton, frowning.

I sat between two women I've never seen before they smelled like overpowering expensive perfume that made it hard for me to breathe but I i wasn't complaining, they looked friendly. Friendly enough.

Chatters began at the loud table as lunch was served, they empty cutlery around me started to get filled with delicious food, wine, sweets. This was easier than I thought or that is what's i was telling myself as i ate my food ignoring the feeling of having several eyes on me.

Someone's eyes in particular were glaring holes on the side of my face. I sighed turning my face to look at Asher ready for a stare down competition, hoping to win just this one time and finding some real joy in the wretched room but to my surprise Clayton's hazy gaze caught mine, excitement marred into embarrassment which further turned into confusion.

Clayton was strange. Atleast to me. He was as icy as he was warm.

I blinked as someone cleared their throat, it was Asher. A very livid Asher.

If I were to ever draw him as a cartoon character he'd be the kind with raised eyebrows, a devilish tight lipped smile, stark black eyes and fire coming out of his ears.

I looked down at the table a blush creeping up my face.

The moment of joy that ran around the room as well entered died down pretty quickly telling me if was all a show. The kind mask on Scarletts face was slipping and now i was the centre of attraction as people around the table threw glances at me. Lily sat between two of Ashers cousin talking to them in a hushed tone, she looked comfortable. She was familiar. She seemed to fit in. I felt like i was dangling on the edge of something.

I've had enough of her, enough of everyone honestly. The more I was around them the more I became like them.

My eyes found it's way back to his hoping to find some comfort but Asher was distracted.

S: can you sit beside me?
S: please

His phone buzzed on the table catching his attention and I cheered internally.

A smirk made it's way to his face as he read my text.

A: why?

S: i don't feel well.

A: you'll live.

S: you're an asshole. Fine.

S: stop looking at me.

A: you're fuming.

S; can we get out of here

A: we just got here. Enjoy a little.

I looked up and narrowed my eyes at asher.

S: please.

Asher looked at the screen before placing his phone on the table and turning back to Clayton completely ignoring me.

I slid the phone back in my purse and took a deep breath.

The moment of joy that ran around the room as well entered died down pretty quickly telling me if was all a show. The kind mask on Scarletts face was slipping and now i was the centre of attraction as people around the table threw glances at me. Lily sat between two of Ashers cousin talking to them in a hushed tone, she looked comfortable.

"How was Capri Sophie?"
Scott asked catching me off guard.

"Scott you've been there a few times, you sure do know how Capri is?" Jessica said cutting me off.

"Yes, jess but I'd like to know what sophie thought of it." Scott rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Oh well, not like she didn't like it." Jess murmured.

"I can answer for myself, thank you." I had to cut in politely before these two started an argument.

"I turned back to Scott, I loved it scott, every second of it. I'd like to visit agaiyin the future if possible." I said, completely honest, the hope of visiting here again bubbling inside of me.

Scott smiled at me. "Well then, maybe next time you can accompany me. Of course with the permission of your beloved husband."

"I don't think Asher would mind, Aren't you and Asher going for a divorce?" Jess said, almost innocently but I knew there was nothing innocent about her.

I acted casually. They knew how to get the best of me, but now, i was tired.

"Oh yes. Very soon. We wanted to keep it a secret but guess everyone already knows." I said nonchalantly.

Asher raised an eyebrow at me.

"Poor you." Jess pouted.

"Not really."
I smiled Making her look away uncomfortably.

Everyone got busy talking, I ate silently looking at Asher every now and then who was talking to Clayton or glaring at me. He looked deep in thoughts, everytime I caught him looking at me he'd look away which is unlike him. He liked staring, he liked making people uncomfortable. He was anything but himself. His food was untouched so was his drink, once again unlike him.

"Why is she even here?" it was a whisper, a familiar whisper, loud enough to be heard by everyone.

Swallowing the lump in my throats I looked up my eyes meeting Lily's gray ones. "I was invited." I said looking down at my food again, I wasn't hungry anymore.

"You weren't", she said, the table growing silent slowly

I looked up at Asher,he was frowning, hard.

"She was. You were the one who invited yourself." Asher piped in and then took a sip of his drink.

Scott snickered beside me as Lily's face turned red.

"Atleast it's not my last dinner with you Asher." Lily smirked.

"Oh, it isn't? What makes you assume that" Asher questioned calmly taking another sip.

She gave him a smug smile like she knew something he didn't, like she was going to turn the tables, a part of me was well aware of her little secret, it was me. My whole life. Lily knew me,i didn't have to confirm it.

Ugh. I was so tired of her little games.

S: You sure you don't wanna get out of here

A: I'm second guessing my choice.

S: don't be so stubborn, let get out of his hell hole

A: hell hole? Behave. They are family.

S: sorry not sorry

Asher stood up pushing his chair back drawing everyones attention. "I'm tired i think I'll go get some rest, thanks for the dinner."

Without another word, I was on my heels, almost jumping with joy I followed my husband out.

The rapid clicking of my heels against the Italian marble made Asher slow down like a considerate gentleman, unlike him.

"We're going out, you sure you can walk in that?" He asked eyeing my feet.

"I thought we're going back to the penthouse" I asked, a little confused.

"No we aren't, unless you want to." He said, I narrowed my eyes at him, Asher Grayson just gave me a choice, again unlike him.

"Where to?" I questioned

"Don't know, just want to be out of here."

I grinned at him as I linked my arm with his surprisingly the two of us.

Don't waver Sophie!
I told myself as we were out on the streets of italy once again. I was definitely living the Italian dream or I was merely dreaming it all. It's too good to be true sometimes but then again it wasn't all good.

"You've changed." I blurted out as we stood by a lampost looking around.

He looked at me for a second before looking away nonchalantly. The look on his face said it all, he wanted me to disappear in thin air.

"You're kinder." I whispered.

My words made him laugh bitterly.

I leaned into his side making him stiffen.
"Or maybe you just like me more now." I teased and grinned at him.
His jaw clenched and unclenched.

"Stop assuming, Callister." With that Asher Grayson defensively turned away from me and started walking, a throaty laugh left me as I tried to catch up with him.

Arms linked once again we roamed the city for one last time, I knew I wouldn't get a chance to be here again, I knew we'd go back to the same old us once we're home. a frown made it's way to my face, i wanted to stay here forever, I wanted us to stay the same, I i wanted him to love me just once.

I could feel his eyes on me once in a while like he wanted to say something but decided otherwise. His grip on my hand tightened.

Sorrento felt like a black and white picture and the only thing that could colour it was the man beside me, his vibrant anger, his muted screams, his peaceful silence. I hardly had any memory of the places we passed or the people I laid eyes on, somewhere my heart was sinking as reality was setting in, we were going to leave soon.

"Are things going to change when we return?" I said.

His steps abruptly came to a halt. His eyes everywhere but on me, warm fingers letting go of my arm as he nodded.

I wanted to shrink, curl into a ball, disappear but all i could do was ask. "How so?"

"This time I'll have to pretend I despise you, that's not an easy task." He said, his eyes unwavering.

Pretend.

"-I'll also have to pretend that I don't like you in my bed."

Pretend.

"Moreover-" he stopped and stared, his eyes hardened as he cleared his throat. I waited and waited. "I-I want to show you something." Asher spoke, he looked nervous. Once again, unlike him.

"What is it?"

"Not here," with that I was being dragged, No words spoken afterwards that, his thumb rubbing the inside of my wrist. Suddenly he was a man with a mission. Before I knew we were inside the elevator which was moving up ever so slowly. The silence settled over us like a fever dream. He refused to look at me while his grip on my wrist told me I was all he wanted. I blinked at nothing, confused as hell.

Quietly moving towards our room, I counted every step we took as my heart flutered in my ribcage and my hands became clampy.

"Go sit on the bed. Your side." Asher said and I nodded to no one as my legs immediately started moving. I did as I was told. My eyes searching for his only to find dark eyes staring back at me with something so indescribable. It was almost terrifying. The hollowness within them called out for me. I wanted to run. Close my eyes hoping it's just a bad dream.

His watch came undone and the first two buttons of his shirt. With two long strides he was in front of me, i arched my neck as he touched my chin. Bending down he planted a soft kiss to my lips, lingering for a few seconds before pulling away slightly.

"Do you trust me, Sophie?"

I nodded unable to utter a word. My heart was in my mouth.

"I don't know what I would do without you." He said leaning his forehead on mine.

"Nothing." I giggled, whispering.

And with that Asher Grayson leaned in and kissed me like there's no tomorrow, he kissed me like a passionate lover, he kissed me like a beast and he kissed me like a broken man who needed nothing but love.

His fingers ran through my hair and the side of my neck making me sigh in his mouth as my arms went around his shoulders drawing him close. But Asher stood steady, resisting every ounce of urge to come a little closer I could see it in the way his body shivered.

I smiled pulling away but my smile immediately dropped.

His eyes were bloodshot, the look on his face threw me into a panic before I could say anything he pulled away staggering backwards.

His loud sigh filled the quiet room, he walked into the closet. The room was quiet, the noise of the zipper cut through the silence. A few moments later Asher walked out, i watched him walk towards me, his shoulders sagged, head bowed as he switched on the light, the room glowed in the soft lights and my heart squeezed painful at the sight of the man in front of me. He looked absolutely defeated as he stared at me with bloodshot eyes. Everything was so unfamiliar, so confusing, I couldn't tell what was happening. One minute he was kissing me, another moment he looked the saddest. Loving him was like walking on egg shells, you never know what to expect. I hated seeing him so defeated. So troubled. I thought everything was okay for once- my line of thoughts came to an end when he extended his arm and dropped something on my lap, my head immediately snapped down as my hand grabbed the tiny piece of cloth, feeling the velvety soft fabric. I frowned then stared at it.

A sock. A yellow sock. The smallest sock I've ever seen.

"Lily is her surrogate mother." Asher whispered, his voice shaky.

"Her?"

"Violet." He whispered and something inside of me collapsed.