London

Sonu: Naan panna matten, po!
(I won't do it.)

Sivaangi: If you love me, you will do it.

Sonu glared at the tiny woman with her hands on her hip trying her best to bite a grin.

S: Nethu night uh ennakaaga yenna venumnaalum pannuvenu sonna? Athellam poi ah?
(Last night you said that you will do anything for me. Was that a lie?)

Sonu: Seri ok! Panaren!
(Enough, I will do it)

Sivaangi gave one of her brightest smiles while Sonu looked very grumpy as he carried his empty plate to the kitchen. She followed him into the kitchen watching him rinse it and load it in the dishwasher. He tried to ignore her and go back to his room but he was pulled into her arms. She puckered up and kissed his lips.

Sonu: Stop! Don't! I don't want to be kissed right now.

He rubbed his lips harshly and marched out, not before stomping his feet. He heard her laugh even after shutting the bedroom door.

Chennai

Ashwin sat next to the co-star, Vrindha of his latest movie pretending to listen to her annoying voice. Vrindha was trying to get very touchy and he was on the verge of slapping her. He looked at Manoj, his manager-cum-friend who took cue from his clenched jaws and asked the assistant director to find an excuse to remove the lady from the spot.

Madan: Ashwin, yen da ippadi iruka? Evlo naal ippadiye pogum?
(Ashwin, why are you like this? How long will this go on?)

Ashwin let out a sigh.

A: Yenna seyanumnu solara?
(What do you want me to do?)

Manoj: Five years ayiduchu. Ava poita. Ava yenna aana nu kandupidika kuda nee try pannala.
(It has been five years since she left. You haven't even tried to find out about what is happening with her?)

A: Innime un moonjila mulika maatennu solitu ponna avala naan yen thedanum?
(Why will I go look for her when she made it clear that she doesn't want to see me ever again?)

Manoj: Nee pesunathu nyabagam illaya?
(Don't you remember what you said for her to say that?)

A: Seri, naan thappu panniten than. Athuku ivlo periya punishment ah?
(I get it that I made a mistake. But do I deserve such a huge punishment?)

Manoj: Ithu ego!
(This is you being egoistic)

A: Maybe. But she promised to stay no matter what happens, so I won't go after her.

Manoj: Seri, naan poi ava parents kita pesaren da.
(Alright then, I will speak to her parents and find out more about her whereabouts)

A: Thevai illa. Atha pannanumnu nenachiruntha five years minnadiye pannirupen.
(Not necessary. If that is what I wanted, I would have done that five year ago when she left me)

Manoj: Seri, vera yaaravatha kalyanam panniko da. Unnaku vayasu 37 aaguthu. Amma appa romba kavala padaraanga da.
(Why don't you get married to someone else. You are 37. Do you realise that your parents are really worried for you?)

A: Ava en kuda illangrathukaaga naan vera oruthi kuda iruka mudiyaathu. Sivaangi ennoda uyir, athula entha maatram illa. Ava en life la vanthu create pannuna magic ah yaarume recreate panna mudiyaathu. Appadi mudiyumnaalum, antha magic ennaku vendam. Athu enkita nadakaathu.
(Just because she isn't with me doesn't mean that I will let another girl take her place in my life. Sivaangi is my everything. Then, now and forever, nothing can ever change it. Nobody can recreate the magical moments we shared. Or even if it is possible, I don't want it, I will not let it happen)

Manoj: What if she is married to someone else? Appadi iruntha nee yum vera oru kalyanam pannikaraya?

A: If she is married to someone else, then I will be happy for her. But nobody can take her place in my life. The chapter of love in my life is over. My focus is only on my career and my parents.

Manoj: Dai Ashwin, unmaya sollu. Innum wait panare la?
( Ashwin, tell me the truth, you are still hoping for her to come back right?)

A: Kandipa. Manasula ava thirumbi vara maatalaanu oru aasai iruku. Aana athu avaluku thonanum. Naan force panna mudiyaathu.
(Of course, in my heart I have high hopes of her coming back to home. But I want her to feel that way. I don't want to force anything on her)

London

Ashwin wrapped his shoots in London and decided to go to the countryside for a week before going back to India. He wanted some quiet time before getting back to his busy schedules. He hired a car and started his 3 hours drive to the self catering cottage he had hired in a village located in the beautiful Gloucestershire.

He enjoyed the scenic drive. The autumn leaves were falling and it was the onset of an early winter. Despite the beauty of the country try, he has this  strange feeling ever since he landed in England. He suddenly felt like she was around.

Maybe, she is here in England. Maybe, she saw me and went into hiding. Why would she want to meet me?

Or maybe, she is married!

As much as he tried to shut her out of his mind, all he could think about was Sivaangi!

His mind went back to that black day of his life.

Chennai (5 years ago)

A: Sivaangi, I do not want you to do this movie.

S: Since when did we started deciding for each other. We share our opinions but we decide together, don't we?

A: Fine. My opinion is that I don't want you to act with this Siddharth guy.

S: Ashwin, ithu opinion illa. Nee un decision ah en mela thunikara.
(Ashwin, this isn't sharing your opinion. This is forcing your decision on me)

Ashwin stopped pacing and slammed his fist on the table.

S: What is your problem with Siddharth?

A: FFS! He clearly wants to get in your pants.

Sivaangi stared at him with with wide eyes.

S: Fine, but do you think I will ever let him touch me?

Ashwin let out a sardonic laugh.

S: Ashwin, please! Can you stop being insecure?

A: Insecurity? Dammit! I don't like him.

S: This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! I will keep my distance. I promise.

A: Yeah right! He is the director-cum-hero of the series. And I read the script. It has a lot of intimate scenes.

S: Have you never kissed anyone onscreen? Have I ever told you not to do it?

A: That is different. I wasn't interested in any of the women.

S: Same here! I am not interested in this guy.

Ashwin held her face in his palms and spoke in a very calm voice but she detected the leaping fury in his eyes.

A: Unnaku yeppadi puriya vaikarathu ma? Avan director mattum illa screen writerum avan than, yeppadi venumnaalum scene ah maathuvan. Oru bedroom scene vacha yenna pannuva? You can't walk out.
(How do I make you understand? He is not just the director, he is the screen writer too. He can alter anything anytime. What will you do if suddenly he demands you do a bedroom scene?)

S: Ashwin, it is acting. You have done plenty of love scenes. You know the drill.

A: Sivaangi! I am not comfortable! End of conversation.

S: I am sorry. I want you to make me understand why you aren't comfortable?

Ashwin scoffed at her.

A: My fiancée doesn't need to do this romantic series with a young man who has a reputation for being a flirt.

S: Ashwin, please..

A: You seem overly interested in him. Is it because he is young and good looking? Or is it the your hunger for fame? Looks like you are ready to do anything for this opportunity.

Sivaangi gasped as her hands flew to her mouth. She was hurt beyond explanation. Ashwin realised what he had said and he smack his palm against his forehead. He looked at her broken form and stepped forward to touch her.

S: Stop right there!

A: Sivaangi..

S: ENOUGH! We are over.

Her bottom lip jutted out and her lips quivered as tears flow freely down her cheeks.

A: Listen..

S: Goodbye Ashwin.

A: Sivaangi, nilu. Naan solaratha kelu. Ippo ponnenah, namma relationship avlo than.
(Sivaangi, stop! Listen to me. If you leave right now, it will be the end of our relationship)

Sivaangi rushed out of the flat banging the door behind her. Ashwin knew he was wrong but a lot of emotions including worry, jealousy, uncertainty were clouding his judgement. He knew he had to run behind her to stop her from leaving but his mind voice screamed that she wasn't going to listen. He thought he will wait for her to come back and talk to him when she was better.

Ashwin was wrong. She never contacted him after that. Not knowing how her parents would react, he sent a common friend to check on Sivaangi in their house after two weeks of the incident. He was shocked to find out that they had moved from Chennai to Mumbai.

His heartless brain argued with his brainless heart about how she betrayed him. He brain won his heart and he decided to let it go if she did not come back to him.

A village in Gloucestershire (Present day)

Ashwin was gazing at the beautiful peachy sky when his eyes landed on this person on the roadside next to a car which looked like it had some issues. He slowed down and parked in front of that car. He saw in his rear view mirror to see a girl in a pink fur coat and brown boots crouched down next to her car tyre. He was tired and all that he wanted was to get into a warm bed and sleep straight for a day.

Ava breakdown service call panniku va. Nee poda.
(She will call the breakdown service, just keep driving)

His mind voice screamed at him to leave. But he wanted to find out if the girl needed any help. He let a deep sigh and stepped out of the car. The girl still hadn't noticed him so he called out to her as he started walking towards her.

A: Hey! Do you need any help there?

The girl looked up and Ashwin stopped in his tracks. This can't be true.

The reality stuck him. This woman who was his everything was still his everything. He will never get over her. He felt weak suddenly. He badly wanted to experience the warmth of his hugs and the taste of her mouth on his.

A: Sivaangi??

Sivaangi was too shocked to react. She watched Ashwin take small steps towards her and hold out a hand. She ignored him and stood up.

S: Aaa.. Aa.. Ashwin?

A: Aama Ashwin than. Yeppadi ma iruka?
(Yes, it's me. How are you, my dear?)

Sivaangi looked away when he called her 'ma'. She felt emotional but she controlled it.

S: I am fine, thank you. How are you?

A: Good!

S: Inga yeppadi? Athuvum thaniya?
(How come you are here on your own?)

A: London la shoot iruduchu. Mudichitu oru break inga Cheltenham la.
(I had a shoot in London. Just wrapped up the shoot today, so I am staying in Cheltenham for a week before I go back)

S: Oh!

A: Nee yeppadi inga?
(What are you doing here?)

S: I live in London. Oru friend veetuku weekend vathom.
(I live in London. We are here to visit a friend for the weekend)

A: We?

S: Yeah. I am here with my...

Her phone rang and he saw the screen.

💜 calling?

Ashwin was angry. Married to someone else was bad enough, the idea of someone else nicknamed  Purple Heart angered him. He waited for her to answer. She noticed a myriad of emotions in his eyes. Jealousy, curiosity, anger, sadness, all of it! Even after five long years, she could read his eyes perfectly well.

S: Hello baby?

....

She moved the phone a little far from her ear and scrunched her face.

S: Oh Madhu, sorry Sonu nu nenachen.
(Oh Madhu, I thought it was Sonu)

...

S: Okay, not far.

...

S: Seri da. Kutty thoongitaan ah?
(Alright, is the little one asleep?)

...

S: Sonu, stop yelling. I will be home in a bit.

She hung and looked at Ashwin. He was waiting for her to explain.

A: You have a son too?

S: Yes.

Sivaangi enjoyed the look on his face and decided to leave without any explanations.

S: I have to go home. I have someone waiting for me.

A: Clearly! And by the looks of it, he doesn't treat you right.

S: You don't know him. You are impulsive and judgemental like always!

A: I am.. What?

S: Yes! You judged my decisions constantly and made an impulsive decision to push me out of your life five years ago.

A: I did not push you out! You left me.

S: You know what? I am in no mood to quarrel with you. I really have to go. Bye.

Sivaangi walked to her car and realised that she was standing outside because she had a flat tyre. This wasn't London to book an Uber, she was in the middle of nowhere. She could call the roadside assistance and wait for another hour or two, but the thought of upsetting Sonu did not go well with her.  She was tempted to ask Ashwin to drop her but her ego hurt too much to ask for his help. Having no choice, she turned around only to find Ashwin standing really close to her.

A: Shall I drop you?

She hesitated but she looked around and saw the deserted road.

S: Yes please.

A: Okay, come let's go.

S: I will just grab my bag and lock the car.

As she sat down in the passenger seat still unsure about her decision to let him drive her home.

A: Maps la address podu ma.
(Can you type in your address in the maps?)

Sivaangi took his phone and unlocked it by entering her birth date. She did it out of habit and was surprised to find out that the number was the day they met. Furthermore, the wall paper was a picture of them.

Sivaangi was confused.  She really did not think that he hasn't moved on. She followed his movies but not his personal life. She had a million questions but wasn't ready for any of the conversations about the past. She turned away from him pretending to look outside. He noticed the lack of ring in her finger.

A: Sivaangi?

Sivaangi looked at him questioningly.

A: Sorry.

S: Can we not talk about the past?

A: I am not going to quarrel. I just want to apologise. It was all my fault. I was feeling insecure, I should have explained it better and most importantly, trusted you.

S: It is okay. I should have listened to you too. You were always worried about my safety and well being. So there must have been a reason behind why you did not want me to do it. Anyway, the series did not happen.

A: Do you have any regrets about not doing it?

S: Now? No!

A: Nee yeppadi inga England la?
(What are you doing here in England?)

S: I moved here to do my masters, then I found a job in London. Then Sonu happened. So life settle ayiduchu.

Ashwin smiled at her but she knew that he was sad and hurt. The idea of her moving on when he was still hung up on her must give him an unsettling feeling in his stomach.

S: Antha black Volvo iruku la? Antha veedu than.
(The house with a black Volvo parked up in the front yard, that's the house)

Ashwin parked up in front of the house. She was being very vague and wasn't interested in divulging any facts about her personal life. But Ashwin needed to stay around her a little longer.

S: Thank you so much. And it was nice to see you again. Good luck with everything in life.

She tried to make a quick exit when she felt Ashwin hold her hand. She looked at his fingers wrapped around her wrist.

A: Sivaangi, I am really sorry. Please intha indifference vendam.

S: Appadi illa. Nammaku pesa onnum illa.
(That isn't the problem. The truth is we don't have anything to speak about)

Ashwin knew that it was true but he just couldn't leave yet. He decided that meeting her family might make him feel better.

A: Won't you invite me?

S: What?

A: Invite me in to meet your family?

Sivaangi felt nervous.

S: Sonu doesn't know about you.

A: I won't say anything. You can introduce me as a friend? Please?

Sivaangi let out a heavy sigh and nodded her head. As both of them walked towards the house, the door flew open and a tall lady in a brown puffer jacket stepped out.

S: Hey Madhu. Leaving already?

M: Yup. Sonu is inside. Eagerly waiting for you.

S: I know! I hope he isn't angry.

M: Nah! He is okay!

S: Thanks so much for watching my child.

M: Come on! Don't be formal.

S: By the way, Madhu. This is Ashwin.

Madhu raised her eyebrows at the handsome hunk next to her friend.

M: Hi Ashwin.

A: Hi Madhu, nice meeting you.

M: Pleasure is mine.

S: Stop flirting! Go home to your husband.

M: No harm in looking at other good looking men.

Ashwin laughed at Madhu. She was just like her friend. Openly drooling over his looks.

S: Off you go now!

M: Okay, see you tomorrow. Bye Ashwin!

Sivaangi opened the door and then hesitated a brief moment before turning around to face Ashwin.

S: Ashwin.

A: What?

S: Come in after a couple of minutes.

A: Why?

S: I just need to make sure it is appropriate for you to meet the family.

Ashwin scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, nevertheless nodded his head. She mumbled a quick thanks and skipped inside the house.

A: Sivaangi? I am coming in.

Ashwin peered inside the living room and saw Sivaangi kneeling on the floor working on something in front of her.

S: Ashwin, sorry but you are in for a little bit of a shock.

A: What do you mean?

She stood up and Ashwin came face to face with a little boy.

Ashwin felt like living a dream. He saw a little boy with a spitting image of himself. The thick silky hair over his forehead, the tiny mouth, the sharp nose and the deep set brown eyes.

S: Ashwin, meet Sonu. I am guessing you don't need an introduction as you can see for yourself that he is a xerox copy of you.

Ashwin still couldn't believe his eyes. Sonu was a miniature version of him standing there with his head tipped back to look at the tall man in front of him. Ashwin felt his vision blurred by his tears. He crouched down to Sonu's height and took him in a hug like his life depended on it. Sivaangi swallowed her own tears at the poignant scene in front of her.

Sonu: Amma?

S: It is okay Sonu. This is Ashwin. Your dad.

An hour later, after putting Sonu to bed, Ashwin walked into the kitchen and found Sivaangi making tea. He rushed to her and hugged her from behind. She felt his tears on her neck as her own tears made its way down her cheeks. She placed her palms over his and rubbed it trying to silently comfort him.

This was just the start. They had a long way to go for them to become one family.

A random OS as I am seated in this beautiful cottage near Cheltenham. I hope it isn't too bad

I am spending the rest of the week here with my partner and I am really hoping to do some writing when I am relaxed.

I just erased my fourth draft of the next chapter of 'Your dark shadows'. Not happy with my update on that story. A serious writer's block. I am hoping to finish it before I go back home.

Love xoxo