Chapter 34
Zari

It's been a month already since I got discharged from the hospital. Hindi ako kaagad nakatrabaho pagkaalis ko sa hospital. It took me weeks from being discharged to get to work again. Buti nalang at naiintindihan ako ni Tito.

Pagkabalik ko sa trabaho, lahat ng katrabaho ko ay kaagad akong nilapitan para tanungin kung kamusta na ako. Even though months already has passed, they keep on asking me about my condition.

At first, it touched my heart, but when they keep on asking me repeatedly like my parents kept on doing...I feel irritated. Gusto ko na kasing kalimutan iyon pero parang pinapaalala nila iyon sa akin sa pamamagitan ng palaging pagtatanong tungkol doon.

"Do you want some coffee?"

Napalingon ako kay Jessi. She's one of the architects here. Bumisita ako sa opisina nya ngayon para tanungin kung kamusta na iyong blueprint para sa project namin.

Umiling ako bago umupo sa isang sofa. "Are you already done with it?" I asked, about the blueprint.

She sipped on her tea before shaking his head. "Not yet but almost."

"Okay," tumayo na ako at kinuha ang bag ko. I smile at her. "I just came here to ask that one. Sorry to bother you."

"Oh, it's okay. No need to worry. Ipapasa ko kaagad iyon kapag tapos ko na itong gawin."

I just nodded at her before smiling. Naglakad na ako papunta sa opisina ko. As I entered my office, kaagad nanlaki ang mga mata ko. It was Tita Indy, Syrine's mother. Kunot-noo akong lumapit sa kanya dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang kailangan nya sa akin ngayon.

She's wearing a red dress while holding her gold purse. As soon as she saw me, she slaps me. Napaawang ang labi ko dahil doon. Napalingon kaagad ako sa kanya pagkatapos habang hawak pa rin ang pisngi na sinampal nya.

She's looking at me with her intense gaze. She's fuming mad right now, I can tell. She blows a loud breath before laughing at me sarcastically.

"How does it feel to ruin a marriage, Zari?"

As soon as she asked me that, I immediately understand why did she slapped me. Napakagat ako sa labi dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. I want to defend myself...but how?

Hinila nya bigla ang buhok ko kaya napapikit ako sa sakit. She's glaring at me while doing it. "Malandi kang babae! Alam mong may asawa na iyong tao tapos nilalandi mo pa rin?!" binitawan nya ang buhok ko at tinulak ako sa sahig kaya napaupo ako rito. "Anong klase kang pinsan ni Syrine?!"

Hindi ako makatingin kay Tita. My tears are also starting to form in my eyes. I feel so guilty. What happened to them? I did everything I could to avoid Gin! He's the one who keeps on coming closer to me! Why am I the one who gets the hate?

I want to tell Tita about it so she could stop slapping me now...but would she believe me? In a world where it revolves around unfairity...they will always be on Gin's side rather than mine...so what's the point of explaining?

"You're the reason why Gin wants to have a divorce with my daughter! You forced him to leave my daughter so you could be with him again!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi ni Tita. I was shocked by it that it makes me push her harder. Mas malakas ako kay Tita kaya napasandal sya sa pader dahil sa pagtulak ko. She was shocked because of what I did.

I thought the reason she was here was because of my unexpected meeting with Gin and I feel bad about it. But when she mentioned divorce...I don't know about that.

"I didn't tell him to divorce Syrine!" I shouted at Tita. Nagulat sya sa ginawa ko kaya nanlaki ang mga mata nya. Ramdam kong patulo na ang mga luha ko pero wala akong pake. "I know that...that I'm a bitch for still loving him..." a lone tear fell from my eyes. "...but I didn't do anything to destroy their family!"

Natahimik si Tita dahil sa biglaang pagsabog ko. I continue since she gave me the opportunity to explain my side. Wala na akong pake kung hindi man ako paniwalaan pagkatapos nito. I just want to say what I want to say.

"I suffered alone! Noong mga panahong nalaman kong ikinasal na sya...na may anak na sya...nasaktan ako. Pero hindi ako umabot sa punto na hinabol ko sya!" I glared at Tita while tears are still forming in my eyes. She's getting blurry in my vision. "I'm not gonna beg just for a man to be with me again!"

Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko at kinuha ang bag. Umiiyak ako habang nasa elevator ako. Anyone who saw me in that state asked me about what happened but I just told them that I'm alright. Pumasok ako sa kotse ko.

I screamed my pain inside the car. I just turned it on so I could breathe some air while crying my heart out. When I'm already calm after crying, I reach for my phone so I could call Johan.

[Yes? How may I help you, Ms. Alferez?] bungad nya pagkasagot sa tawag ko.

"Send me Gin's number, please. Thank you."

I ended the call immediately. I feel relieved when Johan immediately sent it without asking my reasons. I called the number immediately and when he answered, I remained silent.

[Hello, good afternoon. This is Gin Castres. May I know who is this?]

I bit my lips to stop myself from crying again. I was mad before I call him because I got hated just for loving him but when he answered and I heard his voice...sadness replaced the rage that I had.

"Si Zari ito..." napapaos na sabi ko. Natahimik sya sa kabilang linya kaya nagpatuloy ako. "Are you free right now? It's urgent. I want to ask you something."

Hindi na ako nagpaligoy-ligoy pa. I want ask his real reason why he divorced Syrine. May pamilya na sila! I can't stop myself from feeling hurt just by thinking about Rean Sylverhea.

"Sure. Where?" I feel relieved when he answered me this.

I just told him that we'll meet at a place where we used to date before. That place was peaceful, malabong puntahan ng mga tao kasi private property ito ng pamilya nila ni Gin. I want to have a peaceful talk between us with no disturbances.

I just traveled 50 minutes just to arrive there. I just parked my car after arriving. Pagkatapak ko sa mga buhangin, kaagad akong nakaramdam na bumalik ako sa nakaraan kung saan madalas kaming magkasama rito noon.

The place has changed. Marami na ang mga cottages at rooms. Dati kasi ay isa lamang ito. Ngayon mukhang handa na sila gawin itong resort na talaga.

"Zari,"

Napalingon ako nang tawagin ang pangalan ko. That was a familiar voice. The voice that I used to love. The voice that used to erase the nightmares I used to have before...but right now it feels like it's calling more nightmares so I could cry in fear.

"Gin," ani ko pagkakita ko sa kanya.

He's still wearing a suit. He's leaning on a wall. He's looking at me intently while holding his phone. He combed his hair using his fingers. "Why did you call me here?"

I bit my lips and took a breath. Ayaw ko nang magpaligoy ligoy pa. I don't want to be afraid of being direct. Being direct takes a lot of risk and strength and I want to take some risks. Bahala na kung ano man ang mangyari pagkatapos. I need to be braver.

"Why did you file a divorce?"

Natigilan sya sa tanong ko. He sighed before standing up straight. "Who told you about this?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just answer me."

Napaiwas sya nang tingin sa akin. He looks like he wants to tell it but is afraid to do so. How funny that I'm here being brave while he's here being a coward...afraid to tell the truth. We became the opposite of us just for now.

"Gin!" frustrated na sigaw ko nang hindi nya pa rin ako sinasagot. Nilingon nya ako gamit ang mga maririin na tingin nya. "Bakit? Sagutin mo ako." He still didn't answer so I grabbed his hand. Nagulat sya dahil doon. "Answer me!"

"It's because of you!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa sinabi nya. Napaawang ang mga labi ko dahil sa gulat. I did not expect him to answer this. I laughed sarcastically because of his answer.

"Please..." I laughed nervously. "...please tell me that you're lying."

He bravely looked at me. Now, we became the real us. Me being scared while he was the brave one. "I'm telling the truth," he said.

"What do you mean that it's because of me?!" niyuyog ko ang balikat nya. "You can't divorce her just because of me, Gin!"

Natigilan ako nang hinawakan nya ang pisngi ko. Tears formed in my eyes when he smiles suddenly. His face came closer to mine. My nose and forehead touched mine.

"I told you that I'm already to commit with the stars," he said while he still have a smile plastered on his lips, "And the only way to do that is to be free."

Kaagad ko syang tinulak. I breathe heavily while still stopping my tears from falling. I glared at him and he looks at me with no emotion at all because of what I did.

"You can't do that. No, you can't do that! Please, don't do that!" niyugyog ko ang balikat nya. I look at him, begging him not to do it. "Please just think about your daughter! May anak ka, Gin!"

"S-She..."

I stopped him from saying anything. "Isipin mo naman si Rean!" niyugyog ko ulit ang balikat nya. "May anak ka na, Gin!" naiiyak na sabi ko sa kanya.

"She's not my daughter!" he snapped.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi nya pati na rin sya. Nag-iwas kaagad sya nang tingin at napamura sa sarili dahil sa sinabi. My lips parted because of the sudden statement of him.

"W-What...what do you mean?" I laughed nervously. "She's your daughter."

He bit his lips and shaking his head. "She's not."

"Gin!" naiiyak na ako.

Iritado nya akong tinignan. "She's not my daughter, Zari. She's not!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

Napahilamos sya sa sarili nya. "She's not my daughter! She's my cousins' daughter!" sabi nya kaya natigilan ako. Hindi na mapigilang tumulo ng mga luha ko kaya kaagad nya akong niyakap. "Baby...I don't have a child with anyone."

"Then...why?" nasasaktang pagtanong ko.

Humipit ang pagyakap nya sa akin na para bang natatakot syang bitawan ako. "I was forced to be the child's father so it won't be aborted."