Umeed wrapped her hands across her knees as she sat in the corner of the bed. She looked down, her eyes so blank and lifeless, almost unrecognizable as the grip on her salwar tightened.

The black salwar he loved so much. Black was his favourite colour and this outfit of hers in particular was something he fancied a lot. She had lost count of the times when he had asked her to wear it throughout the half decade they have spent together. Every time she would wear it, they would make memories for a lifetime to come as it implied it was their time, for they seemed to be in lack of it mostly, owing to their commitments to their respective careers. Irrespective of that, no amount of time with each other satiated them as they were always left craving for more.

Or that's what she thought.

The last few months have been excruciating for Umeed, with her café finally opening up it's second branch in Islamabad. The Pasha's Cafe had grown impressively in four years and was grabbing eyeballs and making enough noise for investors to pitch in for another branch. Journeys between Karachi and Islamabad became a regular as she jumbled between the two cafés she owned. She could not have been more thankful for her mother in law as she always stepped up to look after Aarzu during her travels and even when she was busy at work, encouraging her to reach for her dreams and to never feel like she had to handle it all by herself.

The bundle of wonders she had made along with Farjaad wasn't any less. Except occasional tantrums to gain her mother's attention which Umeed deemed as rightful, four year old Aarzu Khan Bahadur had been her rock through it all. She didn't have to do much. Just her bright smile that makes her dimple show, which was so reminiscent of the man she fell in love with, the man she built it all with was enough. Umeed never knew a little human could hold so much love inside her, it made her so proud.

But the one person she failed to catch a glimpse of as much as she would have liked to amidst all this chaos was her one and only. When the prospect of a new branch had initially opened up, he was the one to jump in, steer her clear of all the doubts, insecurities and self doubt, asking her to go for it. He even helped her make multiple presentations and prepare for her meeting with investors initially. Farjaad had stayed up the night with Umeed refilling her chai periodically while she was working on her spreadsheets and presentations, peppering her with kisses and cuddles in between. Everytime Umeed thought she couldn't be more in love with this man, he proved her wrong by stepping up, letting her explore the horizons on her own but following closely behind so that he's there to hold if she ever needed someone to fall back on. Umeed couldn't have asked for anyone better.

However as the project got approved, Umeed suddenly found her hands full. She had meetings everyday where she had to show up and be her best business self, there was a lot of back and forth between the capital city and Karachi for location hunting and other technicalities, there was a lot of teary good byes from Aarzu that somehow she never got used to, it always pricked her heart just as intensely as it did the first time. As understanding everyone around her was, Umeed still tried her best to give time to all of her loved ones.

Farjaad initially whined about how Umeed seemed to love her work more than her, how she'd seemingly turned into the workaholic gharyal that she used to accuse him of. Umeed's replies usually consisted of laughing at his desperation, the way he whined like a three year old, one whole year less than their daughter. But sometimes she also surprised him by returning home a day early or fixing a date night for themselves after spending a week apart. Because it was also when her husband cracked a huge collaborative deal worth millions, kicking off a whole new set of projects and it had become difficult to catch each other. Umeed would either be traveling or at her café. By the time of her return either he would be sleeping, or as days passed, he had started sleeping over at his office from all the stress that came with the merger. She still found a way to have some time for themselves by driving to his office once she was done for the day so that they could have dinner together, but after she received texts for three consecutive days suggesting that she go home and rest as he had meetings scheduled with foreign clients, that also stopped.

Umeed was busier than ever but Farjaad had stopped complaining, even rejecting her advances of trying and squeezing in some time for themselves in their busy schedule, directing her to focus on the café opening scheduled in a few months. He had started increasingly spending his nights in the office, which added to Umeed's list of things to be worried about. She tried talking to her husband regarding the same but was met with a rather rude response where he claimed she did not understand what the project demanded and how it drained him out. He stated he did not need her throwing a tantrum at his way at a time when he already had more than enough on his plate, and that he knew how to take care of himself.

She was taken aback by his reaction and decided to stay out of his way. The next morning she walked into her cabin filled with red roses and a printed sorry note. It wasn't unusual for Farjaad to do this when they fought but it surely was unusual for it to not accompany a conversation where they talked it out, or for the sorry not to be a generic printed one for sale instead of something he scribbled on his own. But he was grappling with multiple issues at once and Umeed did not want to seem too demanding, or stress him out more than he was so she was content by his attempts to make it upto her. She also felt bad at how she might have already stressed him out back when she confronted him about his habit of staying over, but didn't have the time to pacify him or have a talk as she was burdened with more tasks than she could handle. Umeed had decided she would make it upto him once everything was set and ready in the Islamabad branch for opening.

The day had finally arrived when she returned from Islamabad after making sure everything is set and ready for the opening scheduled for the next month. She was supposed to be back a day later but had taken an early flight for her adrenaline didn't let her put off surprising her husband for another day.

Umeed had carefully picked out the black outfit that she knew he absolutely loved on her, straightening her hair partially retaining some of the curls at the end just as he loved them. His favorite of her, her eyes looked even more captivating adorned with the kohl, while her lips were a dark shade of red that she knew would drive him crazy.

After landing in Karachi on an early Sunday morning, she had spent the whole time till noon making gulab jamuns for him, while instructing Niyaz to prepare all his favourite dishes. Umeed knew for a fact he wasn't eating well, and that was about to change. She had packed up all of his favourites, dressed in his favourite and was ready to gift her husband an afternoon of pampering and love.

Umeed didn't know if he had any big meeting scheduled for the day, and she didn't wish to talk to Miss Mehak and ruin her day. She was fine with waiting for him, even if it took hours if it meant she could be in his vicinity.

She had missed him so much.

It had come across as quite a surprise to her when she walked into the office to see it all empty, even more surprised to see that even Miss Mehak's table had no one. Farjaad had told her the entire office is working through weekends to make sure the project gets done flawlessly and it's bustling seven days of the week, 24/7. That was one of the reasons why he did not want her there, for all the chaos in the office meeting with hers would drive her insane considering how she was dealing with a lot of it on her own with her work. But now as she slowly made her way into his office, she was rather confused. She had seen his car in the parking, he had to be here but why was everyone on leave while he worked? Why did he not tell her? Was he planning to surprise her as well-

He was.

Umeed stopped on her tracks as she reached his office. It was no more see through as Farjaad had gotten blinds after Umeed happened in his life. He only ever used it when she was in the office with him, to a point where it was a running gag in the office, popularized by Miss Mehak.

But as Umeed noticed, he currently the blinds on and it only added to her confusion. She took slow steps, held the handle and pushed it open only to have her entire world crash in front of her.

Farjaad was sat on his table, dressed in a white shirt and plum coloured pants. The lapel of his shirt held by a woman she wasn't sure she recognized, rather her brain had completely shut down at the sight in front of her. His blazer laid unattended on the floor near his chair while his hands tightly held the waist of the woman who was already latched onto him, pulling her even closer if it was even possible. One of the sleeves of her dress hung loosely off her shoulders as Umeed saw her husband's lips pressed against her neck, with questionable noises filling the air in the room. She felt bile rise up her throat and the next thing she knew, her hands gave up.

Thud!

Umeed flinched as the bags in her hand laid scattered on the floor, some of the food boxes spread into a mess. She looked up to see Farjaad and along with his seemingly young, hot friend flinch as well as they turned their heads to look at the door, where Umeed stood.

Even as they looked at her, Farjaad shocked and the woman confused, they remained glued to each other, his shirt fully unbuttoned. The sight of it had her holding the door handle for support. Umeed felt warm, hot tears make their way, blurring her vision and stinging her eyes. She took a step back only to stumble, which seemingly brought her husband out of his rendezvous as he pushed the woman away from him to take a step forward, calling her name out.

"Umeed."

Umeed took another step backwards, in a rather shaking stride. Her eyes dark and blank instead of the fiery, accusatory glance one would expect of her.

"Umeed meri baat tou suno-"

Before he could complete his sentence, Umeed had ran away from the scene, leaving the mess on the floor intact, including her phone which had broken into two.

Not the only thing that broke there that day.

Umeed had over sped her car in a rather dangerous fashion back home, resulting in a minor crash that had the other party lash out at her, which she settled by throwing her engagement ring at them, along with a small injury on her forehead that she couldn't care less about. Now that she was home, in her bed, in their bed, their marital bed, she had zero thoughts in her mind.

What will she even think about? What will she question? Her entire life?

Her mind did not hold the capacity for any of that. She was rather numb, and thankful that neither Nighat nor Aarzu was home, or she would have had to explain herself while she did not have it in her to even stand up or walk a few steps.

She felt herself closing up, she wanted an escape from this, she just wanted to sleep, to be transported to somewhere where she was oblivious of it, where none of this happened, where she was still happily married to the love of life, the one who was madly in love with her, the one who would whine for her affections, unabashedly make a fool of himself to see her smile, the one who lived for her and their daughter, the one for whom no one mattered except his family, the one who never lied to her.

"Umeed!"

The door swung open as Farjaad stormed in, his eyes instantly falling on Umeed who was curled up on one corner of the bed. Even though he was clearly in he periphery, he noticed she made no effort, rather had no energy left in her to look up at him. He strode over to her and sat on the bed next to her, reaching for her hands that were clutching onto her clothes so tightly as if her life depended on her.

"Umeed meri jaan, meri baat suno..." said Farjaad, only to find Umeed completely unresponsive and her hands stone cold. Her eyes still remained fixated nowhere and had no variations in her expression whatsoever. All the colour in her face flushed out, the most lifeless she had ever looked.

Farjaad held her by her shoulders, pulling her closer, trying to incite a reaction from her but failing. "Umeed tumnay jo dekha... it's not what you think it is. Please meri baat ko samjho."

No response.

"Kuch nahin tha woh, it meant nothing." he licked his lips, sweat beads appearing on his forehead from the amount of stress and fear he was experiencing at the moment. "Meray liye woh koi mayne hi nahin rakhti woh tou bas-"

Umeed suddenly flinched out of his hold, and he saw her finally looking at him up and down. Farjaad saw her eyes hover all over him in disgust, her glancing at his visibly wrinkled and unbuttoned shirt, the marks on his chest and neck and the way his hair was disheveled. He wished the earth would split into two and swallow him as a whole.

She swat his hands away like his touch burnt him and he felt a pang in his chest. But what was notable was how she still did not seem to show any fury, any anger or other signs of aggression.

Instead all Umeed did was slowly get off the bed and make her way to their wardrobe. She opened it to retrieve a bright blue suitcase with darker coloured waves painted on it. Farjaad vividly remembered this suitcase, it was the one she brought from Pasha House after marriage. He sat on the bed staring at her as she slowly placed it on the other side of the bed, zipping it open.

As she slowly walked back to grab her clothes, Farjaad rushed over to her, and as he attempted to stop her by holding her hand, Umeed gestured him with her palm to stop. A rather simple gesture but the way Umeed was firm in it, Farjaad was terrified. He felt his entire life fall apart and the worst part was, for someone who always knew how to fix things, he didn't know how to do it now. Neither did he deserve it.

"Umeed kya kar rahi ho tum-"

"Hum baithkay baat kartay hain na?"

"Meri baat tou suno meri jaan..."

Farjaad's pleas went useless as Umeed calmly packed up her clothes, and her eyes fell at the little rainbow suitcase in the lower shelf. It was all packed up for a school trip two days later. It was Aarzu's. She had meticulously packed every single thing she owned, and Nighat being the dadi who spoiled her, didn't stop her but had informed Umeed of the new development, the duo sharing a laugh about it over video call.

"Umeed?"

"Let's talk, please..."

Slowly walking back to the shelf, she took out the little suitcase, only for her to turn and crash into Farjaad's chest.

"Baat tou suno meri jaan..."

Umeed tried to walk away but his hold was so firm he beat her to it. "Umeed yaar kyun kar rahi ho tum aisay..." She struggled as she tried to get away but failed miserably. "Tum mujhay chhorh kar nahin jaa sakti Umeed... tumharay beghair kaisay guzaara hoga mera? Hum baat kar letay hai na?"

Umeed looked away, neither paying attention nor looking at him as he talked. She felt disgusted by the proximity, by his touch and only wanted out.

"Tum meray saath aisa kaisay kar sakti ho?"

"Aap meray saath aisa kaisay kar saktay hai?"

She was already exhausted from the never-ending work and travelling, and upon return had spent her whole day cooking. But the exhaustion she was feeling now was like no other, where she wanted nothing but for some sleep to take over her so that she didn not have to face the reality. Her eyes hurt, her throat felt like it was closing up, her heart was painfully pounding against her chest and she felt her body had to be sterilized for that's how repulsed she felt by her husband's touch, something she craved every moment of every day just an hour back. For him to throw that at her was truly a test of her patience, a test she did not care about winning.

"Umeed-"

Umeed pushed him away hard. "Agar aap meray saath aisa saktay hai tou me beshaq aapkay saath aisa kar sakti hun. Meri saansein ruk rahi hai, aisa lag raha hai jaisay meray paaon dum tor dengay, meri aankhon mein jalan ho rahi hai aur aisa lag raha hai jaisay dil mein se khoon nikal raha hai."

"Umeed... Umeed meri jaan tum bas batao me yeh theek karnay kay liye kya karun me kuch bhi karnay kay liye taiyaar hun. Umeed bas itna batao tum kya chahti ho? Kya chahti ho tum?"

Umeed gulped, looking down at the floor. "Me thori der sona chahti hun. Thori der... sab bhulna chahti hun. Thori shaanti chahti hun. Khamoshi chahti hun. Meray aas paas aur meray andar... khamoshi ho. Aur me so jaun thori der. Thak gayi hun. Bohot kaam kiya hai menay pichlay kuch mahinon mein. Ab sona chahti hun. Bas... sona chahti hun."

Umeed ranted like a madman as she zipped up her suitcase. Farjaad chimed in; "Umeed tou tum so jao na, tumharay uth ne kay baad hum baat karengay me yahin hun-"

"Aap takleef na karein." Umeed's retort was sharp. "Chala jayein jahan se aaye the, pura karein woh kaam jo meri wajah se beech mein adhoora chhorh diya tha aapnay. Me sukoon se sona chahti hun jo mumkin nahin lag raha lekin neend iss ghar mein... iss kamray mein.. iss bistar par hargiz nahin aani. Kabhi nahin aani."

"Umeed-" Farjaad teared up at Umeed's sorry state.

"Pasha Sahab ke paas jaungi. Unhe bataungi kay woh theek the. Unki beti ek failure hai. Ek aur chiz mein haar gayi. Woh kya hai kay, unki daant sun ne ki aadat hai. Daantengay, kahengay mujhsay kuch theek nahin hota, kahengay meri hi galti hogi lekin shayad... woh kamra mil jayein. Thori der sonay ko mil jayein. Iss se pehley ki Aarzu ki chhutti ho jayein school se. Thori der bas... thori der sona chahti hun."

Umeed repeated like a maniac as she dragged the two suitcases by wheels. Farjaad held her by her wrist, momentarily stopping her.

Farjaad's tone was rather defeated. "Me drop kar deta hun, iss haalat mein tum drive-"

"Aapka office uss taraf hai. Wahan aapki zyada zarurat hai." said Umeed, passing him a sad smile before she walked out of the room, knowing he wouldn't come after her, knowing he would let her drive home in this state, knowing he wasn't the Farjaad she fell in love with, the one who was so protective over her it almost got annoying, the one who hired bodyguards just for her because he thought she wouldn't take care of herself, the one who ended up in tears when she had a viral fever, the one who did not let her drive by herself because she cut a finger while cooking much against his will, knowing the Farjaad she fell in love with existed no more, and will never be found again.

"Mujhay accha nahin lagta koi aur aapko dekhay."

"Magar farq tou iss baat se parta hai na kay me kisko dekh raha hun? Aur me tou sirf tumhein dekhta hun."

The one where Farjaad cheats on Umeed.