CHAPTER 125

HINDI ALAM NI JACHIN kung paano siya nakarating sa hospital. It all became hazy the moment he landed on the floor with a thud. Naramdaman niya ang pagbuhat sa kanya at ang sakit na gumagapang sa balikat niya, but everything else faded away. There were also voices which he could no longer dissect, probably from the people around them.

“Ma, bibili na lang kami ni Papa ng pagkain natin.” He distinctly heard Jenyl’s voice echoing through the white walls.

Everything smelled like antiseptic, and he instantly knew he was in a hospital before even opening his eyes.

“O, sige.” Mama J waved them off to go buy their breakfast while Jedidiah hopped off the sofa to run after her sister and father.

Dahan-dahang iminulat ni Jachin ang mga mata niya, and the bright light almost blinded him. He could feel the sling on his arm and the heavy cast that he now wore. Napapikit siyang muli nang mapagtanto kung anong nangyari sa kanya. Tangina.

The first thing that rushed through his mind was Evie. And then his injury that will affect his schoolwork and plates. He didn’t have time to let it heal because of the looming deadlines.

“Ma,” he croaked despite feeling like his throat was sandpaper, and licked his lips that threatened to crack at the movement. “Asan si Evie?”

Lumingon ang ina niya sa kanya at nanlaki ang mata nang makitang gising na siya. “Si Evie? Hindi sumunod dito.”

At that, the memory came crashing down to Jachin, his mind replaying what happened like an old tape that’s been discovered and played through a VHS.

Just stay here. Come be with me.

I need to go. I want to stay.

I don’t need you here. I do.

Jachin squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fist on the hand that wasn’t broken and hurting. He wanted to scream at someone. He wanted to take back those words before it left his mouth. He wanted to—he wanted so badly to run to her. . . but he couldn’t even do that right now.

Naramdaman niya ang paghawak ng ina niya sa kamao niyang nakakuyom at ang marahang paghaplos sa buhok niya. “‘Wag ka munang mag-isip. ‘Pag maayos na ang pakiramdam mo, doon mo siya balikan.”

Even without saying a word to her, his mother understood what he was feeling.

Jachin reached for his mother's arm, desperate for someone to cling on, and the moment that he felt his mother’s warm embrace and reassuring pat, Jachin broke down crying.

What he couldn’t tell her, he made sure she felt it.

In truth, he was so scared. Of everything. He was scared when he faced his father and when he looked at him with those same eyes that terrorized him as a child, he was so scared for the safety of his sisters and his family, and he was so scared that his father might find out about Evie and torment her the same way he did with his family.

He wouldn’t—he can’t let him ruin her peace that took her a long time to earn. He can’t let him add to the burden that she still carried with her and that weighed heavily on her.

But Jachin realized now that maybe he was the burden that she needed to let go of.

Pinahid ng ina niya ang luha niya bago siya hinaplos sa pisngi. “‘Pagdating nila sabay sabay tayong kumain para makalabas ka na rin.”

Tumango si Jachin at yumakap ulit sa nanay niya.

He found out that he was almost knocked out the rest of the night at ngayong umaga na lang siya nagising. They were also waiting for some tests and scans to make sure he didn’t hit his head too hard on the pavement. Maaari raw kasi na tumama ang ulo niya and they were just ruling out everything.

Besides feeling like his heart was caving in itself from remembering the way Evie’s eyes slowly lost its glimmer the moment those words left his mouth, he was fine.

Or maybe, he just felt numb.

☆

Bago sila makaalis ng hospital, humabol ng dating sina Rigo, Fatima, at Abe. They said that they heard what happened (at least a little bit of it) from Evie when she called before she left to follow him. Jachin swallowed the hurt that he felt when he heard Evie’s name and what she did for him.

Unang napansin ni Jachin ay ang pasa sa pisngi ni Rigo nang maupo ito sa sala sa may kwarto niya. Kasunod nito si Abe na agad isinandal ang ulo sa likuran ng sofa, mukhang wala pang tulog. Though he rarely gets a good night sleep considering the course he was studying.

“Sino sumuntok sa ‘yo?” Jachin asked Rigo.

“Sinong sinuntok ko kamo,” Rigo corrected and crossed his leg. Nginuso nito ang kaibigang babae na nakatayo malapit sa kama na pinaghihigaan ni Jachin. “Tanong mo kay Fatima.”

Fatima threw a glare at Rigo and then turned to Jachin with a sigh. Umupo ito sa tabi niya. “I have something to say pero ‘wag kang magagalit. Promise?”

Kumunot ang noo ni Jachin dahil alam naman ni Fatima na hindi niya ugali ang magalit agad kahit may rason naman. He just wasn’t the type to yell or scream at someone over something that could possibly just be a misunderstanding. “I promise. . . pero kinakabahan ako. May nagawa ka ba?”

She bit her lip and looked down at her fingers resting on her lap. “I’m pregnant.” Fatima released a heavy breath. “And Jacob broke up with me. . . kaya nagalit si Rigo.”

Jachin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Rigo seemed so pissed that he hadn't said a word when he was usually the loudest one and was always the first one to break the silence. But right now, the silence was deafening. Fatima looked like she hasn’t got a proper sleep at maga pa ang mata nito.

Clearly, not everyone was happy with the news. But he was.

So Jachin did the only thing that would convey what he felt. He hugged Fatima with his one good arm. Bahala na si Jacob dahil wala naman siyang pakialam do’n. But what he did care for was Fatima’s welfare and he knew her life was about to change and it was important that all of them were present when that came.

Fatima was never emotional, or at least not in front of them, but when she felt Jachin’s hug, she felt that warm, reassuring feeling that even if it wasn’t okay now, it will be.

Nang bumitaw ito sa yakap, bumaling ito kay Rigo at bahagyang ngumiti. “Salamat sa pagsuntok para sa’kin.”

“Talaga. Kung ‘di lang dumating si Abe. . .” Gigil itong kumuha ng makakain sa natirang pagkain nila Jachin. “Bangasin ko talaga mukha niya hanggang mabura.”

“Rigo!”

“Sabihin mo sa gagong ‘yon, Fatima, ‘wag siyang magpapakita sa ‘kin.” He looked at her dead in the eye. “At sa ‘yo na rin.”

☆

Hindi alam ni Jachin kung ilang araw na ang lumipas, but it felt like an eternity. Like the days and night come and go, never once stopping to see if they were following. Like the stars still burned without knowing that the two hearts who used to beat in sync were now hurting.

Tumigil siya sa paglalakad ng marating ang harap ng bahay ni Mimi. He went first to Evie’s house, but it looked empty that he doubted she was there. So, he went to the person he knew that Evie would come to.

Mimi looked like she was in a phone call so he caught her just outside their gate. Nang makita siya nito ay agad nitong binaba ang telepono at humarap sa kanya. She didn’t look angry, which was worse. Mas gusto ni Jachin na magalit na lang ito sa kanya dahil sa ginawa niya. He was pretty sure that she already knew what happened anyway.

Pinaglaruan ni Jachin ang bulaklak na hawak niya, debating whether it was a good idea to ask Mimi if she could give it to Evie. What’s the use anyway? “Nandyan. . . nandyan ba siya?”

Mimi crossed her arms and took a step towards him. Sinalubong nito ang mga mata niya and Jachin could feel that his emotions were written across his face and that he couldn’t really hide it no matter how hard he tried.

He was beaten down badly, his heart ached, and he was nursing an injury, so he was pretty sure that it showed in his physical well-being.

“Wala siya rito,” Mimi answered, shaking her head. “Pero sasabihin ko pumunta ka.”

Jachin didn’t want to end the night without at least seeing her, but he always knew that Evie would appreciate it if he gave her the space. It wouldn’t do good to force her to see him and to explain.

And really, what’s there to explain? He had hurt her.

“Can you. . .” Jachin started, but then lost all the courage he had. Mimi stared at him, waiting for the next thing to come out of his mouth. She would be the judge if Evie needed to hear it. “Can you just. . .”

Sa bandang huli, hindi na tinuloy ni Jachin kung anong gusto niyang sabihin. “Thank you, Mimi.”

Tumango ito at pumasok na sa loob ng bahay, and Jachin could faintly hear the whispers once she was inside. Confirming what he already knew. Evie was there, but she just didn’t want to talk to him. And that put a heavy weight on his heart, and one that he knew he deserved.

Matagal na tumitig si Jachin sa gate na nakasarado na, sensing that someone else was on the other side of the door and half hoping that it was Evie. But he knew that nothing he would say to her would ever change a thing. Not the words he said, not the feeling he made her feel, and not the circumstances they were in.

And he didn’t want to pull her in and let her feel his agony. He had done that enough.

So in the end, Jachin just went home, still holding the flowers. He’ll just wait until it withers away along with the hopes of ever making it up to her.

Pagdating niya sa bahay ay sinalubong siya ni Lulu, her tail wagging and eyes bright with expectation. Ilang araw na rin itong umuungot sa kanya dahil alam nitong lagi siyang binibisita ni Evie at binibigyan ng treats, but now, it was just her and Jachin, and he couldn’t even do the most basic thing like giving her a bath because of his injury.

Jachin sighed and bent down to pet her. “Sorry, Lulu bear, ‘di ko kasama si Mommy mo, e.”

Not for a while, he wanted to say.

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