D I T Y A   B A K S H I

"Are you sure? Like 100%?."

I nodded at Mahi, my best friend Mehak Farha, who is now thinking 100 ways to console me. But, today even she is out of words. She is as confused as me. No one can blame her, after all, he was her brother like a best friend.

Varun Jha, the man who made me feel that butterfly feeling. The same man who is now my nightmare.

Okay, that was a bit exaggerated. Because he wasn't some possessive or obsessive lover. Quiet opposite to it, a perfect gentleman. It's the same reason why we broke up. He thought about me, my comfort, my career, my life. Why does he have to be so good? Couldn't he become selfish for once?

Who am I kidding? It's the same trait which made me head over heels for him.

I met Mahi and Varun during high school. My family shifted here in between my 8th standard due to my father's transfer. Truth to be told I was afraid. I wasn't someone who become comfortable with others easily. I take time to mingle with someone. But Mahi, she just barges into my comfort zone and the next day I was eager to talk to her and she didn't come alone. Varun Was like a buy one gets one offer.

He even for once thought before taking me to their small group and made me feel comfortable. They helped ne to blend in, guide me and hold my hands when I stumbled over.

By the tenth standard, I felt my feelings changing for Varun. He becomes more than a friend to me. How wouldn't I? Call it cliche but he was like every girl's dream. Every girl in our tried to make a move on him which he politely declined. As I said before, the true gentleman he is. But I was 99.9% sure that he will never see me as more than a friend. I was content being the silent lover that I am. But one day Mahi caught me stealing glances at him.

That day, she made me spill the beans, in the comfort of her room. She was like planned mine and his wedding by the time I confessed my love for Varun.

Love... Can I call it love? I don't know. All I know is he was special. Very special for that matter.

As we were hugging and sharing our happiness we didn't felt his presence by Mahi's room door. When we realised all we saw was his retreating figure but that was for us to realise he had heard everything.

That day being Friday, I still remember how I cried the weekend away in my bedroom. On Monday, I wasn't ready to go to school, if it wasn't for Mahi.

That day as we expected, Varun didn't sit with us in our usual seat, didn't ear lunch with us, didn't hang out with us. The whole school was shocked, and when it happened for the next 3 consecutive days, things got bad. Routers spread like a wildfire. The reasons for our fight was many. That day we got to know how creative were our classmates. I got another reason for crying at the weekend.

Next Monday, I had already bid goodbye to my almost first love, which never got a chance to bloom. But, when we entered the class we saw him sitting in our usual seat with us. We were even sceptical about sitting with him, but we took the chance and we were glad that we did.

That day, he confessed his feeling for me. It wasn't a fairy tale proposing, you guys should understand that we were just 16 that time. Heck, he didn't propose me at all. He just asked Mahi, is she is okay with me and him dating? As usual, he thought about us before him.

After 10th Mahi took science stream, while I and Varun took the commerce stream.

Those 5 years were bliss, our friendship was still strong so was mine and Varun's relationship.

Then one day it all comes to an abrupt end. Honestly, I never expected it to happen.

He got accepted at Harvard University for an MBA. It was his dream. So, I didn't stop him. I know he would have if I asked. He always thought about me every time. So the first time I made him and his dreams my priority. I thought we could work out a long-distance relationship. But he was practical. He suggested break up. He was never selfish, so he didn't tie me up with any obligation. He let me fly freely.

In all these years neither I tried to contact him nor him. Now after another 5 years he is coming back. I don't know what to expect in the coming days.

Even if tried to ignore him and act like he is not here, I can't. Because he is going to be the new CEO of the MNC I am currently working and I being the HR manager there, is gonna welcome him on Monday. Fun, I know.

"So, what have you decided?"

"Nothing actually, it's not like I could ignore him."

"Look C.B, I think you should talk with him. You seriously need a closure."

She is right. I need closure. But I am afraid. I am afraid that I will lose the small hope still lingering in the depth of my heart.

I took a deep breath before responding to Mahi.

"I know, but I think I should wait to know his reaction. I can't behave like a clingy ex now, can I?"

A small chuckle escaped from her lips. It's always easy to talk to her. She is my comfort zone now. She is my strength, my human diary.

''Whatever the circumstance may, you will always find me with you. Don't forget that."

"I know."

"Okay then, for now, I will make you my special coffee. It will make all your tension run for hills."

"Please, I need it badly."

"Just 5 minutes."

She left to the kitchen trying her luscious hair in a loose bun. You know what I am utterly jealous of my best friend's hair.

I chuckled at my self making her raise her eyebrow. As it is an open kitchen she could see me from here. I nodded my head in a No she shrugged her shoulders before indulging herself in her task.

Mehak Farha, my best friend, my Mahi, and dare you only I could call her Mahi. She is a strong-willed woman. She inspires me a lot. Even after life has thrown a lot of hurdles in her life, she fought and fought and fought and become the strong women I know. Her sharp features paired with those sparkling black eyes and brown hairs, she is a sight for sore eyes. Men fall for her feet. But man, does she care? A big NO.

And even if they want to reach her they have to pass through me. And I am not gonna let that happen without testing him. Well, what's say I am very, very possessive of her.

She calls me C.B a.k.a chatterbox, which I am now only because she is with me. No one can tell me I was once a shy girl. She is my favourite person in the whole world. And she says she doesn't need anyone other than me and for me too it's the same.

She is the best thing that happened to me. Being her friend means she will die for you but will never let anyone hurt you. After Varun left, we lost a part of ourself. Then it was just me and her. So we become each other's pillar. She never let me feel lonely. If it wasn't for me stopping, She would have hunt Varun down for making me cry. She hates seeing me in tars. She says it will make her week. That's my best friend for you. Fierce yet soft like a cuddling bear.

"Mahi, are you not going to talk to him?"

"I will, just like you, I too need a closure from him."

I nodded at her before taking my cup of coffee from her hands.

She always expected him to call her after he left, it just us broke up but never our friendship. But he never calls her or answered her emails. He has some serious explanations to do.

He is coming on Monday. For a change, I am gonna use this weekend to prepare myself for facing him.

"Ya Allah, please make everything better."

I hear Mahi mumbling making me smile.

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1455 words.

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21/11/2020