________

'senses'
_______
Hunter's POV

I grip my steering wheel, annoyance flooding my veins.

Why did she have to bring Brett up?

I was annoyed already that she was dating him but now she's proper talking about him. I don't even know why I care about what she does. She's just another girl, another girl who I find attractive and end up screwing over. She's definitely prettier than any girl I've seen and the fact she's insecure makes her have this vulnerability, making me have to protect her, it's like my sixth sense. She has a personality that just makes me feel a whirlwind of emotions, but hell she knows how to push my buttons in every single way. She's nothing special from the rest is all I can think, and I'm not gonna be like one of those sappy bad boy books where I turn good cos I'm not a bad boy.

I'm just Hunter. Sure I can be reckless, but I don't consider myself that. Savannah is nothing special, but she is so much more.

I stop abruptly, slamming my hands down on my steering wheels, furious. She's a fucking girl, why do I care so much? I remember her falling into my gaze on the first day, she was the only person in that hallway that wasn't mesmerized me, instead her beautiful eyes held...curiosity.

Her eyes.

They captured me the minute she looked at me, you would think her eyes were just brown, but they were so much more, with those streaks of golden hazel when the sunlight caught in them, the vulnerability and fierceness she had all at the same time. Those god damn eyes drove me closer to her, and now I can't stay away.

Without any thought, or hesitation, I spin the wheel round driving back from where I had just come. A feeling in my chest, gnaws at me, my chest continuing becoming heavy like if a boa restrictor is crushing it, slowly. I put more power onto the pedal, driving quicker.

I continue driving for a several minutes before I stop, sweat lining my forehead, my brain slamming on my skull. The air becomes thicker, I can feel the tension, you could cut it with a knife.

I shove the door of my car open, gasping for breath, I breathe in the cold air of the night, letting the oxygen swallow my lungs. I take several big breaths before regaining posture. I sigh, reaching out to open my door, I'm stopped when I hear a barely audible noise from nearby, originating on the other side of the road. My eyes flicker in that direction, as I walk towards the noise, cautiously.

As I get closer I hear broken screams, followed by ragged sobs. I hear a manly shout, my heart clenching when I Identify the victim as a girl, my blood begins boiling as I hear an excruciating scream, long and ringing in my ears. I run quickly towards the other side of the road, anger overtaking every single one of my senses, a middle aged man stands over a girl with a bloodied knife, my feet begin leading closer, anger spilling over my body.

I'm several metres away from the guy, who begins to pull down his zipper, I hear him speak in a crazed voice "I promise you'll like this my love,"

That's when I snap, I run to the guy, taking him down to the ground throwing punches to his face as he struggles below me, I throw one more slamming punch to his head, knocking out his consciousness. I stand up, anger still rushing through my veins,I look at him one more time recognizing him,making me more angry.

"She's not your love,"

I stare in disgust at the guy, as tears prick my eyes, the word rape always had a massive impact on me, especially since she died.

I hear a soft whimper behind me, I turn my head, my heart dropping, shame and anger filling me,

shame and anger towards myself.

I fall towards my knees, picking the girl up carefully, putting pressure on her wound to stop the blood pouring. I look at her pale face, all means of life seemingly drained from her face, rushing I put my fingers to her wrist trying to feel a pulse,my breath gets stuck in my throat as I feel nothing, but then I feel a faint beat against my fingers.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I cry my heart breaking, I let my own hatred towards the man take over, forgetting about the person who was actually in pain, and because of this, I might lose her, If I was quicker, she might of had a higher chance of staying alive, and now she's barely alive.

I forget who she is to my family, Brett, as I lean close to her face placing a gentle kiss on her lips, I whisper softly as I let my tears fall

"You're not dying on me, you hear me? You're not dying today or any day before me, Savannah."

_______

SAVANNAH'S POV

The bleak, muted light returns to my eyes, as my eyes open, the light burning my pupils, I squint turning my head to the side, red, lifeless roses droop in a vase.

I try moving my top half to a sitting position, but fail as a sharp pain shoots up from my side. I fall back into my pillow sighing. A slow stirring from next to me makes me turn to my head as I see my beautiful Mom.

She wakes up, her tired face defined with age, her wrinkles showing for once, dark circles from below her eyes from lack of sleep.

She rubs her eyes, finally her sight falling on my stare.

Her face illuminates with happiness "Baby...,"

Tears begin pricking her eyes as I smile at her.

"Hey Mommy," I whisper as she throws her arms around me making me flinch a little, she feels my flinch, she backs away looking at my pained expression.

"You're awake," She says softly stroking my hair.

"How long was I out?,"

"A week," She says sadly. I frown, I've missed a week of my life, hatred and anger flows towards the creep.

"Let me go get the doctor to check on you," She stands slowly exiting the room.

I stare at the white ceiling for several minutes before a middle aged woman walks back in. She asks me several questions, taking some blood tests and other doctorly stuff.

A while later, Liam, Ryder,Avery and Harper come into the room.

"Savannah," Ryder gives me a slow bear hug before he pulls away letting Avery and Liam hug me.

"Are you ok?," Avery asks as I nod weakly.

"I am going to kill that guy," Ryder says seriously.

"What happened to him?," I ask quietly.

"He's in custody," Liam replies, I nod slowly, some sort of relief washing over me.

We talk for a several minutes before they begin to leave, I stop Ryder for a minute

"Where's Serena?,"

"She's on her way," Ryder spits out angrily before leaving me, confused.

As the day went on, Kelsey, Josh and Luna came to visit me.

Kelsey and Luna hug me crying as I hug them back.

Josh walks towards me, giving me a slow hug, I've never seen him this serious, Josh has always been funny and laid back, but right now he seems to have lost all sort of personality.

"You're ok, right?," he asks unsure, I nod, not even convincing myself.

They leave hesitantly, as the nurses usher them out.

A smile erupts on my face when the spanish 4 come in - well only 3 of them, Hunter wasn't with them.

They all looked serious as they hugged me.

"I'm so glad you're ok," Ivan says sitting at the end of my bed.

Valentino kisses the top of my head as they leave, my heart bursts with love, in that moment, I realise I have gained 3 new brothers as well as Josh.

Brett was the next one to come in, he looked like he had been crying as he comes towards me, wrapping his arms around me, as my arms grip him in a comforting manner.

He looks at me, his lips crashing down on mine, my eyes close, as I feel... numb.

I felt no sparks, nothing. Like I had been purified from everything I had felt about him previously. I pull away looking anywhere but his eyes, I felt awkward, I couldn't feel anything between us anymore, and that scared me.

I shook off the feeling, willing to make our relationship work, it's probably cos I'm shaken up.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you," he whispers.

"It's not your fault, you didn't know that was going to happen,"

And neither did I.

________

More hours had passed and I had been trying to sleep, but sleep just didn't come.

I look up as I hear the door open as I finally see the person I had wanted to see all day.

Serena.

She gives me an awkward smile and an even more awkward hug.

"I knew you'd be okay," She says. What?

All the tiredness and anger I had bottled up seemed to explode.

"You knew I would be okay? No you fucking didn't, Serena I could have died!,"

"I'm sorry but its not my fault!,"

"Why didn't you answer your phone, you always answer your phone!,"

I stare at her as her gaze falls to her lap.

"I was with... I was with Emilio," She murmurs.

"So you couldn't answer your phone? So you saw that I was calling, I called you like 50 times!," I shout at her.

"Yeah but to be honest I didn't want to answer cos I knew you would ruin things if I did,"

I stare at her in shock " What do you mean I would ruin things?,"

"Because Savannah you always have when It came to boys! Do you know why every boy never lasted with me? Because they always liked you and wanted to be with you! I didn't want you to ruin things with Emilio, I really like him, I didn't want him to go for you,"

I looked at her crazily as i begin laughing "You are so fucking stupid, How am I going to ruin things by asking you to come pick me up, oh cos that would totally make Emilio fall madly in love with me. Emilio doesn't even like me like that, he's crazy about you! Serena you're so fucking stupid,"

I see her eyes, rage fills them as she stands up " Yeah thats me,fucking stupid because everyone always seems to like you more, Oh savannah you're so smart and pretty and sooo talented. You've always been the favourite child and you always pretend like you don't know it. You get everything easily, whereas I have to work for it, I deserve it Savannah, you don't," She shouts.

"I don't pretend Serena, I am not perfect, I am sorry that you feel that way but I've done nothing wrong,"

"Yes you have! You still don't get it! You always manage to ruin my happiness. I was finally getting closer to Dad but what do you do? You go and get him killed because you knew Dad love you most and that he will always be there for you. You knew how much he loved you and now look where he is, 6 feet under. You were meant to die that day, but no, like usual, Savannah gets saved. This time as well, You always will get saved by the people who are under your spell, like Hunter who saved you. As long as people love you, you'll alway be a danger to them," She spits out making my heart collapse completely,

"One day Savannah, One day no one will love you, and that's when you'll finally understand how I feel, that you always have to look out for yourself, no one will be there for you forever,"

She gives me a sad look "Savannah, I love you, but I'm scared at the same time, because the people who love you the most always seem to leave, and I don't want to leave so that's probably why I didn't answer my phone, I'm so so so sorry, I do love you, always and forever,"

She shuffles closer to me, tears streaming down my face " But someone had to tell you, If I never tell you this, I'm scared for you, and I don't want you to be alone. And as fantasial as this may sound, loving you is a curse. Where do you think Hunter is? He hasn't come to see you because he's scared to face you. Because he knows that If he begins loving you, that he will become weak. Savannah your his weakness,"

She gives me a broken glance, kissing my cheek before getting up to leave.

She stops at the door " Be careful with Brett...and Hunter,"

I don't move, I feel numb.

I finally scream, all my emotions flooding out as I grab the glass of roses throwing them at the opposite wall, watching the glass smash into millions of shards, the lifeless roses falling onto the ground, they seemed more dead than they already were.

But the glass wasn't the only thing that broke in that room.

My heart and life had been shattered into a million shards.

Because Serena was right.

Loving me is a curse.

Numbness.

That hollow feeling that you feel when you feel like you've lost everything. That the whole world seemed to have turned against you. That every single person in the whole goddamn world didn't want you to be alive. The feeling when you feel that your whole identity has been stripped, that one incident could make you flinch at your closest family and friends touch. The feeling that I imagine you feel just before you die, because you've accepted your fate, because your life has just been a bad omen, that you've never made anyone feel happiness, that because of you other people have died. And even if I once believed that I deserved to live, was just an illusion I put in my head to make myself feel like life is worth it. Sure, you might be thinking that this one incident might be making me say these things. But you don't know half my story. I was ready to die in that moment, all the walls I put up to have a happy and carefree front came crashing down, because I was ready for death. But in that one moment, everything changed. One person decided to care, they cared enough to make God, if there even is one, to  keep me alive for a little longer, gave me a little chance to fight for life. And that's what I'm gonna do. Because no one is gonna decide when I'm going to fucking die or live, I'm making these choices now because I've learnt, I've learnt that there are bad humans, those humans that want you dead because of their own insecurities, and because of them you're gonna have to step up, step up twice as high, just to get back control of your life, the thing that you'll never properly appreciate until you're on the verge of its opposer, death. I have become people's weaknesses and downfalls, the thing I expected that I would never be. And I have to change. So I don't hurt everyone around me. And I will change. Because I need to stop the people that love me from getting hurt. SO I need to start appreciating them because I could lose them at any moment. And soon,

Loving me won't be a curse.

_________

A/N

I'M baaaaaack!!!! I know its been ages but yeah. This chapter may be really hard hitting and different from the actual story which is usually funny and happy. But I felt there needs to be some emotions that will hit you guys. But I promise the rest of the book won't be depressing like this and relationships will be fixed between the characters. Don't kill me for kind of destroying Savannah's relationship w Serena and destroying her soul, But all will be fixed in time and there may be a time jump in the next chapter idk yet.

make sure to COTE

word count: 2753

Luv,

Tarryyy X