She's the reason I was created, she's my main objective and my target.  When I kill her it'll be the greatest emotional,  and tragic blow to Barry Allen and his entire family. My father's exact instructions were to drive a knife into her heart in front of her father and her family if I could.

If I do this precisely it could shatter Team Flash and break their hearts. The problem is half my DNA comes from her, technically it makes her my mother. But it shouldn't change what I'm about to do. What my father wanted me to do, what he trained me to do.

She has no idea I exist, that Thawne created me with a sample of  her  DNA. This is the first and last time I will ever meet her. She won't even know who I am.  I shouldn't feel a connection to her, all I did was read her journal entries. 

I shouldn't want to be loved by somebody I never met. I should just do it, and be what my father wanted.