It's been a week since I accidentally hurt Dominic's feelings with the entire kiss misunderstanding. I've made attempts at hanging out with Kat in hopes of potentially hearing more of her theories about him but she hasn't been free until today. She picks me up at my dorm so we can go get these cool hot chocolate milkshakes from a nearby smoothie place.

"Hey," she greets me and I smile happily at her.

We make small talk for the ride, asking about each other's day and going in depth about little things that don't actually matter. We arrive at the smoothie place and I get the hot chocolate milkshake. Just as I expected, it tastes pretty good. I look around the restaurant with a wondrous gaze. It looks like it's cut right out of an 80's film. It's an older style diner with laminated checker menus and marble tables. The only thing missing is waitresses with mini-skirt uniforms and roller-skates.

"How'd you find out about this place?" I continue to look around.

"I was here on a date last night." This gets a look of satisfied surprise from me.

"Really? How was it?" I was not aware she went on a date.

"It was actually a lot of fun! He's cute and funny! And he has horses, too! But I'm talking to six guys right now so who knows how much cooler the others could be?" She seems elated at her solid dating life.

"Jeez, must be nice." Except, that's not really what I want. "Meanwhile I can barely do anything right with the one guy I've liked for years."

"That's different though. He's your best friend so it makes things a bit harder." That's a fair explanation.

"You're not wrong about that..." I shake my head as I think about how much things have changed in my life these last few weeks.

"So have you told him yet?" I give her a confused look. What is she talking about? Does she know me at all?

I clear my throat. "Excuse me?"

"You were so persistent that we hang out so I assumed you had something important to tell me. So did you tell him?" I purse my lips as I noisily sip my drink.

"Actually..." I slowly lead into the story about the events of the other night.

"So he dropped everything and raced to your dorm just to kiss you and you still don't know whether or not he likes you?" Well when you put it like that...

"He always makes jokes about kissing me." Now I just sound worse. "So I don't think it's that big of a deal. Plus he hasn't gotten any action in a while so maybe he's just desperate."

"He always talks about wanting to kiss you but you don't think he likes you?" I purse my lips and offer up a shrug.

"He's just that kind of friend."

"I don't know about you but I wouldn't rush anywhere to kiss anyone, especially not my best friend," she whispers before chuckling to herself. "Well, I do know about you."

"He's just that kind of friend." I wave it off and she scoffs.

"Then if he's that kind of friend, I don't think it'd be weird if you told him you like him." I swallow nervously.

"I don't know..." There's a lot more that comes with a confession than harmless flirting.

"Look, just think about it, you don't have to do it just yet. He doesn't seem to be going anywhere."

"I don't think I could bring myself to say the words," I admit, which earns a playful smirk from her.

"Then maybe you can just kiss him and that'll get him thinking." Her tone is playful but I know she is an advocate for such behavior.

"Now that's something I can do."

+++

I get back to my dorm and take a long shower. I just stand there for most of the time and think about all the things I talked about with Kat today. When I get out and head back to my empty room, I notice a text from my roommate. She confirms that she's back home for the weekend, which earns a quick 'have fun' text from me. There's also a message from Eli's number, which I deleted a few days ago but he has not stopped texting me; I don't see a reason to respond. My feelings for Dominic have not changed and I have no interest in hooking up with him anymore. I shove those thoughts from my head as I get dressed and contemplate whether or not I should invite Dominic over.

Last week, he practically raced over here so I know he'll come now with little to no complaint. And I know that it won't be awkward post-kiss because it wasn't awkward post-proposed kiss, even if I did play it off as just a joke. Knowing him, he'll probably just tease me about it but I can deal with that. I grab my phone and toss it back and forth between my hands as my thoughts race around my mind.

If I casually invite him over, I have to make my intentions clear, which will be extremely difficult and awkward. If I don't make them clear and he comes and I jump on him, he'll probably be a little scared. I pace back and forth before deciding to just see where the conversation goes. I dial his number and he answers within a few rings.

"How was your milkshake with Kat?" He skips the formalities and I'm grateful.

"It was good. We talked about a lot of stuff that I needed to get off my chest." About you. It's always about you.

"Stuff that you can't talk to me about?" At least he knows.

"Precisely." 

"I guess I can only wonder..." he trails curiously.

"Guess who keeps texting me?" He already knows this answer.

"Elias." His annoyance doesn't surprise me.

"He messaged me while I was in the shower." Please make a comment about me being in the shower. I could build off of that.

"Be strong and ignore him," Dominic encourages like a good friend.

"If he's the one that broke it off then I don't understand why he keeps trying to talk to me again." Especially because he made it clear that we wanted different things. I honestly don't know what he could possibly want to say to me. He got his closure a while ago.

"You said it yourself; you're a good kisser," he teases. Here we go... "I must admit, the curiosity is killing me, Nova."

Perfect. Just what I was hoping for. Okay, let's try this again. I exhale silently before prepping myself.

"You know, I can't help but be curious about you, too." I surprise myself a little as the words leave my mouth. I knew they were coming; I just didn't think it'd sound so...smooth. I bite my lip as I wait for his response. Is he going to take it as a joke again? Or is he going to actually take me up on my offer? There is a long silence and I swear I can hear the government official that's listening in on our phone call hold their breath.

"Come again?" This is his way of giving me a chance to save myself.

"I said," I stress, "I can't help but be curious about your expansive skill set."

"I'm always willing to show you." I can hear his nerves through the phone.

"Maybe you should come over and do that." I extended the offer. Now the ball is in his court.

A brief period of silence. "Are you being serious?"  I practically chew off my lip as I attempt to regulate my breathing. 

"I want you to show me," I bring myself to say. My heart is beating so fast that I can barely hear his reply.

"Nova." His voice is firm and I can tell he's trying his best not to replay the events of last week.

"Dominic," I mock as my heart pounds like a drum.

"Nova, are you serious right now or are you joking? Because I swear if you're joking again, I'm never going to talk to you after this." I haven't heard his voice this deadpan in a long time. I'm silent. He made it clear that he had an interest in kissing you last week. It is just a kiss. What's the worst that can happen?

"Dominic, I want you to come over and show me." I leave it at that and hang up the phone. I start to hyperventilate when it registers in my mind that he's coming over, not to hang out and watch movies or study, but to do things with me. Sexual things. My heart hammers so hard in my chest that I consider the idea that I might be having a heart attack.

What am I doing? This is my best friend.

One minute passes.

I've liked him for too long to not kiss him at least once. I owe myself this.

Two minutes pass.

What's going to happen after I kiss him? Is this good time worth potentially damaging my friendship?

Three minutes pass.

This is Dominic we're talking about. He won't let that happen.

Four minutes pass.

My phone chimes and my eyes are immediately glued to the screen.

Dominic: I'm outside.

I look for my sandals as my stomach erupts in full on bats. The butterflies have left the building and have been replaced with their much larger, scarier counterparts.

Dominic: Some guy let me in. I'm on the elevator.

Dominic: Nova, if you're joking, can you please tell me now? We can still hang out. I was joking about never talking to you again. I won't be mad.

I'm on the verge of collapsing on the floor with chest palpitations when a knock sounds from the door. I suddenly grow aware of how unattractive I look. My hair is still damp from my shower and there isn't an ounce of makeup on my face. My sweatpants are in no way showing off my curves, nor is the big shirt draped over my upper half. I didn't even think to change into some cuter pajamas before calling him over.

I approach the door and peek through the peephole. My eyes fall on Dominic, who's biting the inside of his cheek nervously. I slowly unlock it and pull it open to reveal the very curious, hopeful boy. His face falls slack when his eyes land on me. A hushed sigh escapes his mouth as lightly bites his bottom lip. "So I'm going to assume you're joking," he mumbles.

I can't find my voice to reply so I just motion for him to come inside. He swiftly removes his sneakers and strides over to my bed, hauling himself up. He stretches out on his back and covers his face with his hands as he practices deep breathing. "Nova, next time can you just text me beforehand that you're joking?" I lock the door while he complains.

He gazes up at the ceiling with disappointed eyes as I climb onto the bed alongside him and he scoots over to make room for me. I crawl the rest of the way up the bed and hesitate beside him. Well it's now or never. I lift my leg and place it on the other side of him, straddling his lap. He props himself on his elbows as he assesses my seating choice.

My body all but catch fire when his ravenous eyes lock with mine.  A shiver passes violently through my spine as his fingers lightly brush my inner knee. I shift in his lap and he props himself up more, gazing into my eyes intensely. His hands gently glide up my thighs and he grips my hips, raising himself higher until we're face to face.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He eyes assess every inch of my face a few times over before dropping to my neck. His finger lightly traces my throat, successfully stripping me of my voice. Sensing the affect he has on me, he lets his hand rest at my chin as he waits for an answer.

"I'm positive," I reply quietly as I shift nervously in his lap. He looks up at me through his lashes and allows a slow grin to spread across his face. In a quick motion, he flips me so that I'm underneath him. It happens so fast that my breath leaves my body in the form of a shaky exhalation.

"If it gets to be too much, just let me know and I'll stop." I nod my head quickly as I stare up at him. In a matter of seconds, his lips are on me and exploring my collarbone. I gently rest my hands on his shoulders and shut my eyes. He lightly bites my neck and I feel my eyes roll back at the pure anticipation at what's about to happen. I don't think I've ever wanted something more in my life.

"Dominic," I murmur and he breaks away to look at me. When he realizes I have nothing to say, he returns to teasing my neck. As my breathing gets shakier, my chest rises and falls heavily. He moves his way up to my jawline and I tilt my head back, giving him as much room as he needs.

"Oh..." I don't mean to moan but I do.

"How long have you been wanting to do this?" he asks between kisses to my jaw. Each one sets fire to my body and makes me feel even more explosive.

"A long time. A really long time."

"Me too." He hovers above me again and his eyes skim my face. Finally, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. I kiss him back, hard, feeling my entire body melt underneath him. I run one of my hands through his hair and the other down his back. My legs go around his waist and I pull him flush against me. My insides feel like an inferno and I suddenly understand. This is what they mean when they say there's a spark. I feel like I'm on fire and not in the same way it felt with Elias. If I thought things were good with Eli, I was so, so wrong.

Dominic pulls away from me once more and hesitates. "Can I put my hand under your shirt?" I push him away, yank my shirt from my body, and fling it across the room. His eyes explore my torso before he turns his gaze to the ceiling. "You don't know how badly I've wanted to do this." His breathing is heavy as his fingers lightly trace the lace of my bra.

"I think I do. Take your shirt off." In a second, his shirt is off and I am on top of him, kissing every inch of his chest and stomach. He's propped up on his arms, watching me with a fiery desire in his eyes. As I prepare to unbutton his jeans, he stops me.

"Nova..."

"Yes." My fingers dip under the waistband of his pants and feel the soft cotton of his boxers. So close.

"Are you okay?" I look up at him and nod my head quickly, trying to rush through conversation so we can get to the good stuff. "Should we stop?"

"No." Why would he ask such a stupid question? He sees what I'm about to do.

"Are you sure?" He swallows nervously and I furrow my brows at him.

"Do you want to stop?" He slowly shakes his head.

"No, I just don't want you to regret anything-," he starts but I cut him off quickly.

"Trust me, I won't. I want this...so bad." I give a light tug to his jeans. His eyes flit between both of mine before he lets out a quiet breath.

"Do you want it or do your hormones want it?" Is that even a question?

"Both," I answer.

"Then can we rain check?" he proposes. "I want this. You know I want this, arguably more than you do. But I don't want you to regret it in the morning and then hate me, or worse- hate yourself."

"Okay." I sigh quietly as I release his jeans and retract into a sitting position. My head falls in my hands and I let out another broken breath. That was...unexpected. I crawl up the bed and lay down beside him. He's propped up on his elbows and watching my every move.

"This isn't rejection, Nova. I want to; I really, really do; I just don't want you to regret it," he explains from beside me. "It's not a decision I want you to make when you're already in the mood; it impairs your thought process. But if you do think about it and decide, in a clear state of mind, that I'm the one you want to give your virginity to, or do anything with, I'm literally a phone call away."

"Dominic." I put my hands over my eyes.

"Yes?"

"Stop talking." He takes my advice and lays in silence next to me. A few seconds pass and he breaks out in giggles. "What?"

"On a scale of periwinkle to navy, how blue are your balls right now?" he teases.

"I literally hate you," I hiss as my face reddens.

"Which is why I stopped you from making a dumb decision," he explains as he sits up. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

He returns fifteen minutes later and I'm still laying in the same spot with barely regulated breathing. "Do you want me to turn off the light?" I see him hovering by the door in my peripheral.

"Sure." I don't even bother looking at him. The light doesn't go off so I sit up a bit and stare at him.

"Are you going to put your shirt back on or..?" He stares at me and blinks a couple times.

"Nope." I smirk widely at him and he sighs before submerging us in darkness. A few seconds later, he's in bed beside me. "Are you up to cuddling?"

"Yeah," he replies. I press myself against his chest and his arms pause for a second before resting on my sides. "You really can't put on a shirt? I'll go get one from your closet if you don't feel like moving."

"I usually sleep without a bra," I whisper into the darkness.

"I wish I'd have at least taken it off you." I wish, too.

I inch closer to his ear. "And just so you know, I'm capable of making a sound decision even when I'm in the mood. I had the chance to sleep with Eli but I didn't want to, remember?"

"Nova," he replies in a tone that appears deeper than his regular voice.

"Goodnight, Dominic." I leave a light kiss on his collarbone.

+++

The following morning I wake up and find myself sprawled across Dominic with my bra barely covering my chest. I quickly adjust myself, rush out of bed, and hurry to my closet. Just as I'm pulling on a shirt, Dominic wakes up and looks around for me. I fix myself and walk into his line of sight, which gets a loud laugh and large beam from him. "Regret not putting on a shirt last night, huh?"

"Shut up," I mutter sheepishly. "Get up, I'm hungry."

He dramatically groans and drags himself out of my bed. He pulls on his hoodie and struggles to get his shoes on. He uses my shoulder as a balance before he stands up and sighs. "I'm going to go get dressed. Text me when you're ready."

"Okay," I agree as I stare into the closet for today's outfit. I feel his gaze on me so I turn to face him with a raised brow. I find him watching me with his hand on the doorknob. There's a large and happy smile on his face, which proves to be contagious by the way it slips onto mine. "What?"

"Nothing," he says with a laugh before he pulls open the door.

Once he leaves, I put my head in my hands and exhale. That wasn't too awkward. Now can we make it through breakfast without things being uncomfortable? I decide to take a quick shower to wash the sweat and spit from my body. I don't bother telling him and figure he'll understand. A half hour later, I emerge from the shower to a couple missed calls. I call him back and put it on speaker.

"I thought you blocked my number or something." Glad to see he thinks so highly of me.

"Sorry, I just got out of the shower." I start getting dressed in the outfit I picked out before.

The phone goes silent and I see him Facetiming me. I laugh before declining it and wait for him to call back. When he does, I put him on speaker yet again. "Do you want to eat at the dining hall? Or do you want to go out for breakfast?"

To further dwindle my savings or eat dining hall food? "Can we go to the diner?"

"Yes," he responds. "Are you almost ready?"

"Yeah, you can head out now," I tell him. I pull on my shoes and coat as I continue to assess myself in the mirror.

I'm notified of his arrival so I give myself one last once over and spritz myself with perfume. Then, I hurriedly grab my purse and hightail it downstairs, habitually locking my door behind me. He greets me with a big beam, which I catch again. "What's got you so happy?" I ask curiously as I buckle my seatbelt. He starts out in the direction of our usual breakfast spot.

He shrugs and taps rhythmically on the steering wheel. "I don't know. I'm just happy, I guess."

"Okay, well I'm happy that you're happy." This causes his smile to grow even larger.

We're silent for the rest of the ride and it's comfortable. We don't really make conversation until we're in the diner waiting for our food to arrive. My phone lights up and distracts me from the small talk we're making. I glance at it and let out a small huff, which causes Dominic to quirk a brow.

"Eli," I tell him with a dismissive shake of my head. I can now recognize his number thanks to the amount of times he's been texting me. A lot of them are just drunk texts in which he's apologizing for calling me a piece of shit. I'd reply if I didn't think I'd just hurt him more in the long run.

"Are you going to text him back?" Dominic unravels his fork and knife and avoids my gaze. I shake my head and he seems to see me. "What's he saying?"

"Basically that he wants to talk," I respond as I flip my phone over in my hand. "I'm starting to feel bad for him."

He peeks up at me with slightly narrowed eyes. "You're going to cave, aren't you?" He makes it a point to try not to appear annoyed but I see past it.

"No." He continues to stare at me and I shake my head even harder. "No, Dominic, I'm not."

"Good. I don't really like that boy," he comments. "I get that you hurt him but you gave him his closure. There's nothing left to be said. And even though you refuse to admit it, he hurt you."

I don't want to tell Dominic about how I forgave him for the mean things he said. For one, they were true. But I hurt him more than he hurt me and he didn't deserve it. "Okay, Dominic." I say this just to shut him up. He seems to understand my intentions because he abandons the fork and knife on his napkin.

"I'm serious, Nova. If you forgive him and reach out again, he's just going to weasel his way back into your life and then back into your pants." I highly doubt that but alright.

"He was never in my pants to begin with." I never slept with Eli and I didn't plan to.

"His hand was," Dominic mutters thoughtlessly, which earns a scoff from me. He got me there.

"Dominic, I'm not going to text him," I say with finality in my voice. It's hard to tell if he's saying this as a protective best friend or as...more. If it was Kat saying this, I wouldn't think twice but to listen to what she had to say. Dominic seems to have a bias, even though he tries his best not to.

"Okay, remember you said that when it's midnight and you're looking for someone to keep you company..." It takes me a second to register his words. If I were so desperate that I needed to call someone, I'd just call him. Just like he said last night, he's a call away.

"You know, I'm not some hormonal mess. I can control myself." I narrow my eyes at him for thinking so lowly of me.

"I know you can." He goes quieter, as if understanding how he offended me. "I'm just saying that sometimes you have an itch that you want scratched and the most familiar person is the go to."

I abandon the conversation once our food is brought to our table. I drag the plate of french toast in front of me and drown them in syrup. I dig into my food and sense Dominic waiting for an opportunity to ask a question. "What?" I pipe when I feel him staring.

"Are we going to talk about it?" I blink a few times. He's bringing this up now? At breakfast?

"About?" I try to buy myself some time.

"Last night." He watches me cautiously and I bow my head. 

"Right, last night..." I mumble before swallowing a bite of my food. I'm a bit surprised at the way he's putting me on the spot. He nods his head and I take a large gulp of my juice to save myself from speaking. It's not time for an admission of my feelings; I need some time to absorb everything that just happened. "I don't really know what to say. You're always curious. Am I not allowed to be?"

He stares at me for a short while longer before his eyes drop to his food, which he has yet to touch. "Fair enough." He offers up a casual shrug and doesn't bother giving his opinion, and I don't ask for it either in fear that I might not like what he'd say. I assume the conversation is over until he opens his mouth again. "How often is that going to happen?"

"Huh?" I try to ward off having to answer. Jeez, he keeps asking questions that I don't have proper answers to.

"Last night- how often is that going to happen? Was it a one time thing or do you intend on doing it some other time?" I open and close my mouth a couple times, unsure of what to say. I hadn't even considered the fact that it could possibly happen again. He notices this and grins at me. "I won't make you answer. You have my number if you need it...for anything."

I turn my attention back to my food and stuff my face, knowing good and well that I'm going to be thinking about that proposition for the rest of the day.