So...
I thought I'd make something at least semi-clear to some of you who are confused about some of my chapters about have complete emotional breakdowns...
I really can't spend more than a few minutes without distraction before I start to think of how
A. I'm wasting my life away
And
B. I'm a complete failure who can't accomplish anything.
And something that literally triggers it is our god damn touring choir, or, more specifically, bragging about their achievements.
It makes me feel like that one goal last year, was crushed.
Along with my self esteem.
I spent the entirety of summer trying to get over it, only to almost always tear up or start crying uncontrollably, at the mere mention of their achievements.
And it makes it worse that my friend unknowingly insulted me by saying that she wishes there was a level of the choral festival that we went to for our choir.
And the worst thing is that it's lowing my general self esteem and making me hate everything I do and have ever done.
It's stupid, but it's true.

Sorry for posting a long vent.
I just needed to say something.