thinking abt the time a psychiatrist asked me if I was really nb and not just having a breakdown because I was unhappy with who I was

now I'm just kinda having a crisis because what if he was right? what if Artie is just an alter-ego of who I wish I were, not who I really am? what if I actually get my name legally changed and I realize I was wrong and I'm a cis girl and I'm Hayden?

maybe I'm not even bi, maybe I've just been lying to myself this whole time

it's 3:13 AM and I'm having a mental breakdown