Chapter 2: Creature Discomforts
Artemis had other things to worry about than whether or not she should go looking for the rest of the Cursed Vaults. Her first priority was to find out whether or not she would be allowed to attend the Hogsmeade village trips with the rest of the third years.
Professor Sprout, in addition to being the Herbology teacher, was head of Hufflepuff house. Before the first herbology class of term, Artemis approached Professor Sprout and asked her about the Hogsmeade permission slips.
"So, your mother didn't sign the slip?" Professor Sprout said, elbows deep in a sack of fertiliser.
"No, she forgot. And then she couldn't find it to sign it."
Professor Sprout sighed, and pulled her arms out of the fertiliser. She wiped her arms off on her robes and looked down at Artemis with her hands on her hips.
"Artemis, it isn't that I don't believe you," she said, diplomatically, "but I have heard this sort of story many times before. My mum lost the permission slip, my owl ate the permission slip, a Niffler stole my permission slip, and so on and so forth."
"A Niffler wouldn't steal a permission slip, Professor, they aren't shiny."
"Well, someone's been reading up on their magical creatures," the teacher chuckled. "But that is exactly my point; students have lied about not getting permission before. It's very serious business, letting you go off school grounds."
"I'm not lying, I swear."
"I know you aren't, Artemis, but I still can't let you go to Hogsmeade without your mother's written consent," Artemis opened her mouth, but Sprout continued talking before she could interrupt. "I'll write to your mother and send her a new permission slip for her to sign and send back."
"Thank you, Professor."
The class swiftly begun, and Artemis started to harvest valerian sprigs with Tonks, who was telling her all about the items you could purchase at Zonko's joke shop.
"Once you get your permission slip back we can go and buy some nose-biting teacups for Merula Snyde's morning coffee!" she cackled.
"Somehow I think that will go down like angry dragon at a birthday party."
Their discussion was cut short by the sound of a loud crash and a high pitched scream from the far corner of the greenhouse. The class covered their ears and turned around to see Penny Haywood, cowering away from a large werewolf, her plant pot smashed at her feet, and her shin cut open, a single drop of blood trailing its way down her lower leg.
Several other students screamed as well, and Artemis heard Tonks swear under her breath.
"Calm down everyone," Professor Sprout said in a pragmatic sort of voice, and strode over to Penny. "It's just a Boggart."
"A what?"
"A Boggart. They're shape-shifters. They take the form of a person's greatest fear," she raised her wand and pointed it at the werewolf. "Riddikukus!"
The werewolf disappeared, and it its place stood a chihuahua. Relieved, the students laughed, and the chihuahua vanished. Penny, however, did not laugh. She stood staring, her eyes wide and her face pale, at the spot where the werewolf-Boggart had been standing just seconds before.
"I really must talk to the headmaster about the Defence Against the Dark Arts curriculum," Professor Sprout mused. She bent down next to Penny, and pointed her wand at the cut on her leg. "Episkey!"
The cut on Penny's shin mended itself instantly, but the trickle of blood that had run from it was still making its way down to the top of her white sock. The colour had not returned to Penny's face, and she seemed unable to talk, or even move.
"Miss Khanna," said Professor Sprout, "would you kindly accompany Miss Haywood to the Hospital Wing to get some chocolate or a tonic of some sort?"
Rowan nodded, and put her arm around Penny's shoulders, leading her out of the greenhouse. Once they had left, Professor Sprout clapped her hands together, and asked the rest of the class to get on with what they were doing.
"Why would Penny be so scared of werewolves?" Tonks asked Artemis.
"I suppose they are a scary kind of creature."
"Only at a full moon," Tonks reasoned. "The rest of the time they are human, just like us."
"Maybe that's exactly what it is. Maybe Penny's real fear is that you never know what people are really like deep down."
"Merlin's beard, Hexley, when did you get philosophical?" Tonks said, before leaning in towards Artemis and grinning impishly. "It could be that she's scared of Rowan."
"Rowan's not scary, Tonks."
"She is once a month."
Artemis rolled her eyes as Tonks sniggered at her own joke. For once, though, Tonks didn't make Artemis laugh.
"Penny's been acting a bit off the last few days, though, don't you think? Just a bit withdrawn?" she asked her. Tonks made a noise of disagreement, wrinkled her nose, and shook her head. Artemis sighed. "Maybe I'm reading too much into things. She was probably just tired or something. Poor Penny, though. She looked so terrified."
"So would you, if something big and hairy jumped out at you from your plant pot," Tonks looked into her own pot for a second, then thrust it quickly towards Artemis' face. "Rah!"
Artemis jumped backwards, and the two girls fell apart in fits of giggles.
At lunchtime, Penny was still in the Hospital Wing.
"Madam Pomfrey says she's still in shock," Rowan told Artemis and Tonks as they sat on the edge of the fountain in the clock tower courtyard. "But she's given her a decent sized calming draught, so she should feel better soon."
"Look who's coming this way," Tonks nodded her head across the courtyard at Bill Weasley, who was making his way across the courtyard towards them, a trail of girls turning their heads to watch him as he walked past. "Wotcher, Bill. That badge looks good on you."
"Thanks, Tonks," he smiled. "What's this that's going around about Penny Haywood and a Boggart in the greenhouse?"
"News really does travel fast around here," muttered Rowan.
The girls told their friend about what had happened in their Herbology lesson. Bill looked very concerned.
"That's strange," he frowned. "Boggarts tend to like dark places, not greenhouses. Though I'm not an expert."
"Maybe we should ask the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor about them."
"I wouldn't bother," Bill grimaced. "I had Defence Against the Dark Arts this morning, and the new teacher is even worse than Professor Topsy was straight after his morning brandy. If you want to find out more, Hagrid might be your best bet. He knows a lot about creatures, and he is probably the one that ends up dealing with any Boggarts that make their way onto school grounds, being the groundskeeper."
"That's not a bad idea. It would be good to see Hagrid and Fang, anyway," Artemis nodded.
The bell rang to mark the end of the break. Bill cleared his throat.
"Er, Artemis, can we talk for a minute before you go to class?" he asked.
"Fine, leave us out," Tonks said, jumping up from the fountain. "Come on, Rowan. We know when we're not wanted. See you in Potions, Artemis."
"What's up, Bill?" asked Artemis, as Rowan and Tonks walked away, watching Bill and Artemis over their shoulders. Making sure that Bill wasn't looking, Artemis made a rude hand gesture at them, and they quickly scuttled off.
"Well, it's about that day in Diagon Alley. I just wanted to apologise," said Bill, gesturing with his own hands more than he normally did. "My mum has no sense of propriety. Obviously, she didn't really think about how wildly inappropriate it would be to tell a thirteen-year-old girl that she'd made 'quite an impression' on me. I just wanted to make sure -"
"Make sure I wasn't reading too much into it?" Artemis finished Bill's sentence for him.
"Exactly," he nodded. "I mean, obviously, I think you're great. But I don't, you know..."
"Bill," Artemis stopped him, trying her hardest not to laugh. "I get it. We're friends."
"Oh, good. I was a bit worried that you might have gotten the wrong end of the stick," he sighed, obviously relieved, as Artemis shook her head emphatically. "I didnt want you thinking anything else might be going on, especially as..."
"Especially as what?" Artemis asked as Bill tailed off.
"Nothing. It doesn't matter."
"Bill, you can tell me. We are friends, remember?"
"Well, okay," Bill cleared his throat again, very awkwardly. Artemis had never seen Bill look awkward before. She wasn't sure if it was funny or unnerving. "The thing is - I can't believe I'm telling you this - well, there's this girl in my year. And, I, er... I quite like her."
Artemis' face split into a grin.
"Quite like?" she said. "You know, that's hardly very romantic, Bill."
"Fine, I really like her. A lot," he laughed. "But I haven't plucked up the courage to ask her out yet."
"Well, you should. You're a Gryffindor prefect, after all," Artemis told him. The bell rang again. "Sugar quills! I'll be late for Potions. I'll see you later!"
Artemis grabbed her schoolbag and sprinted away from Bill into the castle.
"You're late, Hexley," Professor Snape growled, as she arrived in his classroom. "Five points from Hufflepuff. Take a seat quickly before I take any more."
"What was that all about?" Rowan whispered over her cauldron as Artemis unpacked her quill and parchment.
"I'll tell you later," Artemis replied, aware that Merula Snyde, the school bully, was listening to the two of them from across the workbench. "Is Penny still not back from the Hospital Wing?"
"Not yet."
"Did little baby Penny have a big fright?" Merula sneered. "Honestly, first Copper and now Haywood. Hexley, why are all your friends such cowards?""
"Shut up, Merula," Artemis hissed back at her. "At least I have friends."
"I have friends, don't I, Ismelda?" Merula turned to Ismelda Murk, a Slytherin girl whose lank dark hair and shallow complexion made her, in Artemis' opinion, look like a younger, female Professor Snape. Ismelda glared across the table at Artemis and Rowan. "My new friends Ismelda and Barnaby are going to help me find the Cursed Vaults."
"Barnaby? As in Barnaby Lee?" Rowan blurted out, her face contorted in an expression of disbelief. Artemis knew why Rowan was sceptical: Barnaby Lee was known for not being the brightest wizard in their year.
"Merula, I thought you were planning on finding the Vaults all by yourself," Artemis said, before Rowan could insult Barnaby. He may not have been intelligent, but he was very strong, tall, broadly built, and, from what she'd heard, a decent duellist. She did not want Rowan to pick a fight with Barnaby Lee. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Because, Hexley, if you've taught me anything, it's having a good team can get you further. You'd never have gotten into the Ice Vault last year if it weren't for Bill Weasley," Merula rolled her eyes. "And it's not just incompetent witches who could do with help. Even He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had his Death Eaters."
"That worked really well for him, didn't it? Last I heard, he couldn't even kill a baby."
"You would know, Hexley. We all know your loser brother was caught up in all sorts of dark magic. No wonder he never bothered to come back to you and your hermit of a mother."
"I swear to Merlin, Merula, if you insult my family one more time -"
"You'll do what? Duel me? Run to Dumbledore? Forget it, Hexley. You're not worth my time; you or your cry-baby friend Haywood."
At dinner that evening, Penny was smiling again, but Artemis couldn't help but notice that her friend looked paler than ever, and her fingertips kept tapping on the table as if she couldn't sit still.
"Are you sure you're alright, Penny?"
"What? Oh, yes," Penny's laugh was more shrill than usual. "I mean, it was obviously a shock, but nothing that some well-made Potions couldn't sort out!"
Before it got too dark, Artemis went to visit Hagrid the game-keeper in his hut on the grounds. He offered her rock cake that looked hard enough to break her teeth.
"Thank you, Hagrid, but I just had dinner."
"Ah, never mind. More for me an' Fang," Hagrid snapped a rock cake in half with his dinner-plate-sized hands. The rock cake made an audible cracking sound. He took a bite from one half, and gave the other half to his boarhound, Fang, who was lying at Artemis' feet.
"Hagrid, don't those have sultanas in? You know you really shouldn't feed them to dogs, right?"
Hagrid frowned momentarily, before prizing the spare half a rock cake out of Fang's jaws.
"Professor Sprou' told me all abou' yer friend," he said, wiping the dog saliva off his hands. "Nasty things, them Boggarts."
"Bill said that it was odd for one to be in the greenhouse."
"They normally like it where it's dark," Hagrid nodded. "But I remember they did turn up in some very funny places when... well, never mind tha'."
"When what, Hagrid?"
"Nothin'. Forget I said anythin'."
"Hagrid, this has happened before, hasn't it?" Artemis asked Hagrid, who wasn't meeting her eye. She scrutinised him for a second, then gasped. "It's the Cursed Vaults!"
"I didn't say tha'!"
"I know you didn't, but I'm right, aren't I? Hagrid, please tell me the truth."
"I don't know for sure whether this is the Vaults or not. But back along, a few years ago, min', the castle became overrun with Boggarts. And yer brother, Jacob, he defini'ly thought tha' the Boggarts 'ad come from a Cursed Vault. Or were somethin' to do with them, anyway," Hagrid shook his head. "Bu' I should' be tellin' yeh this. Don't yeh go lookin' for those Vaults, Artemis. They're nothin' but trouble."
"I don't plan on looking for them, Hagrid," said Artemis, half-truthfully. "But if the Boggarts keep coming, and they are from the Vaults, like my brother thought, then someone has to do something, surely?"
"An' they will. Bu' tha' will be up to the teachers, an' the Curse-Breaker Professor Dumbledore's tryin' to get hold of."
"Dumbledore's hiring a Curse-Breaker?"
"I should not 'ave said tha'," Hagrid frowned deeply, his eyebrows furrowing like giant hairy caterpillars. "What abou' yeh, Artemis. Are yeh lookin' forward to yer firs' 'Ogsmeade trip?"
"You're changing the subject," said Artemis, and Hagrid chuckled. She sighed, deeply. "I don't know if I'll even be able to go to Hogsmeade. My mum lost my permission slip. I just hope that she writes back to Professor Sprout in time."
"I'm sure she will. An' when she does, yeh'll be able to go to 'Ogsmeade with all yer friends," Hagrid reassured her. "I bet if yeh tell Ros yer name, she'll give yeh a Butterbeer on the 'ouse."
Artemis snapped her head towards Hagrid, suddenly very interested in the conversation. When she and her friends had broken into the Cursed Vault before the summer holidays, she'd had a vision, and heard her brother telling her to talk to Ros.
"Did you just say Ros, Hagrid?" she asked, her heart beating fast. "Who is that?"
"Well, Madam Rosmerta, o' course!" Hagrid's laughter was like thunder. "The lan'lady at the Three Broomsticks. Didn't yeh know yer brother used to work behind the bar?"
By the end of the second week of term, neither Artemis nor Professor Sprout had received word from Artemis' mother regarding the trips to Hogsmeade.
"I doubt she's even bothered to open Sprout's letter," Artemis grumbled to Rowan.
Having chosen the same elective subjects for third year, the two girls had identical timetables, much to the delight of both of them.
Rowan, always the academic, excelled at both Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. This was just as well, because Artemis found she was next to hopeless at the latter.
"I just can't do it," she said, exasperated, after Rowan had explained patiently for the third time how to get to the correct answer. "It's not even that I don't understand what I'm meant to do. It's like the numbers all just wriggle around as soon as I try and concentrate on them."
Luckily, she didn't feel like too much of a burden to her best friend, because what she lacked in ability in Arithmancy, she made up for in Care of Magical Creatures. Having spent two years living with her uncle Newt as a child and her frequent visits in the summers and Christmas holidays since, Artemis already had a good knowledge base in the subject, and she found to her amazement that she even outperformed Rowan.
"I'm not sure why you're so surprised," Rowan said to her. "You're better than me at Charms and Transfiguration, too."
Professor Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, was an eccentric man who was reckless and obsessed with all beasts, the more dangerous, the better. He reminded Artemis a little of her Uncle Newt, only with an eye patch and a wooden leg.
Also in the class was Ben Copper, Bill Weasley's brother Charlie, and a shy Slytherin girl called Liz, who barely spoke. Unfortunately for Artemis, Merula and her new cronies, Ismelda and Barnaby, were also taking Care of Magical Creatures. As with everything, Merula had a high opinion of her own abilities as a Magizoologist.
"You know, my mother used to own a unicorn," she said, loftily, "so I am very experienced when it comes to dealing with creatures."
"Wait until she hears about your uncle," Rowan whispered to Artemis, and chuckled. "We should tell her. I'd love to see the expression on her smug face."
"Don't," said Artemis in a low voice. "The last thing I need is more attention because of my family."
Professor Kettleburn had organised an unusual project for their first term. For their second lesson, he took them to the back of Hagrid's hut, where they found a small pen with a roughly made kennel at one end. Inside the pen were what looked like eight Jack Russell Terrier puppies, although, when Artemis looked closely, she saw that they all had forked tails.
"Crups!" she exclaimed, delighted.
"That's right, Miss Hexley. My Crup bitch had pups a few weeks ago," he told them all. "There are enough pups for each of you. You have until Christmas to rear your Cruppy, and at the end of term we will see who has theirs under control. Now, line up to pick your pups."
Artemis and Rowan went to join the queue, and would have been right at the front, but as Artemis walked towards the Cruppies, Merula Snyde pointed her wand at her feet and pretended to cough. Artemis' feet slid from underneath her, and she landed face down on the ground.
"Looks like you're at the back of the line, Hexley!" Merula laughed, cruelly.
Artemis got back onto her feet and dusted herself off. Her palms were grazed from where she had put her hands out in front of her to break her fall, but otherwise she was unharmed. She had lost her position at the front of the queue, however. The rest of the class were already lined up ready to pick their Cruppies. With a dirty look at Merula, Artemis skulked to the end of the line, behind Charlie Weasley.
"Are you hurt?" he asked her.
"Only my pride," replied Artemis, still scowling at the back of Merula's head. "And let's be honest, that's probably suffered worse."
One at a time, the students picked their Crup puppies. Rowan was the first, and was followed by Merula and her new friends, then quiet Liz. The sixth student to choose their Cruppy was Artemis' friend Ben Copper, who looked terrified as he entered the pen. Artemis knew why: Ben was nervous around dogs.
"I'd be careful if I were you, Copper," Ismelda said, as Ben bent down to pick up the calmest looking of the three remaining Cruppies. "You might get bitten. Didn't you know that Crups hate Muggles?"
"Ismelda has a point," Merula snickered, loud enough that Artemis and Ben could hear her, but quietly enough that Professor Kettleburn couldn't, "they might not think of a Mudblood like you as a real wizard. I know I don't."
Artemis saw red. She forgot all about magic, she wanted to hit Merula, physicallyhit her, and would have done so if she hadn't crashed into Charlie Weasley, who had stepped sideways without warning and blocked her path.
"Don't do it," he said, his voice low enough that only she could hear him.
"Get out of my way," Artemis ordered him, but he shook his head, and didn't move an inch.
"Whatever it is you're about to do, just don't do it."
"Did you not hear what she just said?"
"I did," said Charlie, calmly. Artemis glared at him, but he ignored the furious expression on her face. "Trust me, I'm just as angry about it as you are."
"You've got a funny way of showing it."
Charlie shrugged.
"Merula is trying to start a fight and get someone in trouble. I'm not going to give her what she wants."
"So you're just going to let her get away with it?" Artemis hissed at him. "Well, I'm not like you, Charlie, I'm not content to just stand around doing nothing while -"
"I'm not going to do nothing," Charlie interrupted her, his composure not slipping one bit. "I'm going to go and make sure Ben's okay. And later, when there are no teachers around, I'll be hitting Merula with a good Bat Bogey Hex."
Artemis tilted her head.
"What's a Bat Bogey Hex?"
Half a smile played on Charlie Weasley's freckled face.
"You'll see."
Placated, Artemis followed Charlie into the Cruppy run. There were only two Cruppies that remained unclaimed. One was substantially chunkier and ran straight to them, wagging his two tails and jumping at their legs. The other was the smallest and scrawniest of the lot, and kept growling and trying to chase both of his tails at once until he fell sideways.
"Did you want to choose first?" Charlie asked, as the larger Cruppy sat at his feet, whined at him and cocked its head.
"No, it's okay, that one clearly likes you," Artemis replied, and walked over to where the tiny pup was still spinning around incessantly. She bent down to pick him up, and as he yapped in her face, she noticed that he had a pronounced underbite.
"Looks like you've got the runt of the litter, Hexley," Merula cackled as Artemis and Charlie climbed back out of the pen, clutching their Cruppies. "I guess it's true what they say; dogs really do look like their owners."
"You know, I honestly don't mind if you'd like to swap," Charlie offered again. "You were at the front of the line before Merula trip-jinxed you."
"Charlie, stop trying to steal my Cruppy. I know he's obviously the best one," said Artemis, raising her voice so that Merula would be able to hear her. Merula rolled her eyes and skulked off with Ismelda and Barnaby. Artemis lowered her voice again. "Seriously, it's fine. Just make sure you do a good job with that Bat Bogey Hex."
Charlie gave Artemis another half-smile, mock-saluted her, and walked away from her with a casual shrug, his Cruppy scampering at his heels.
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