3/14/2025

Happy PI DAY!!!!!!

Also it's Spring Break for me teehee....okay technically not yet bc I still have 1 assignment due Sunday but like. Yk. And also 2 of my professors were like "I'm gonna make the homework available but it's not due until the week after Break" at that point just keep it unavailable??? 😭😭 now it's gonna be in the back of my head all week bruh.

Idk. It doesn't feel like Break :/ Brain is still in school mode ig. Maybe that's why my art rate has been suffering too LOL . IDK!!!!!!

OI x ALIEN STAGE !!!!!!!!!!!! Me x combining my main interest with my other interests 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 all of these are based off of...vibes is the best way I can put it? Like which character would be most likely to wear that fit except Ph bc I thought it'd be funny to match him with Oreo. Speaking of Oreo his fit matches him so well LOLL eboys for the win

Also my first time drawing Sandwich in YEARS. Ik I made a design for him way back but this one slays so hard so 😁😁😁 Mr. Nonchalant himself......

I also lwk wanted to draw someone in one of Luka's fits but that man serves too much I am afraid....idk maybe I will. I'm an artist and I can draw anything I want. 💥💥💥💥💥💥 I have the POWER

Actually speaking of being an artist. Lol tangent but writing that made me think of AI bc of the argument "AI can 'make' any art" and yeah AI could make art that looks better than I can draw BUT I'M NOT TALKING ABT THAT. Recentlyish I saw a post on Tumblr that was like "get AI out of fandom!!! Stop using it to write fanfic and headcanons!!!!!!" and honestly. Yeah. Bruh AI could never replicate the deep dark horrors of the human mind that expresses itself via fanfic. BUT ANYWAY.

(Tangent x2 I have actually seen a partly AI generated fanfic before. In the description or disclaimer the author says the fic was started by AI prompts but the author writes the chapters themselves. Idk if they still use AI to generate chapter ideas but uhhh yeah this topic reminded me of that. Also last I checked the book is like 150+ chapters long???? It's slice of life so. Lol.)

I've actually never heard of ppl using AI for headcanons 😭 But that actually made me curious abt uh. AI generated och headcanons. ^_^;;;;; Kettle calls the pot black I KNOW. Time to get canceled on Twitter. It ended up being really funny tho bc it switched Pudding Cup and Oreo's personalities 😭😭 it called PC bubbly and optmistic and Oreo dry and sarcastic LOLLLLL. I'm guessing bc PC is a dessert so AI reacted appropriately. ....it doesn't really explain Oreo but whtvr. PC and Oreo personality swap AU? It got Ph okay but that's probably bc his personality is closely tied to the object he is. Lol.

Anyway AI didn't really come up with anything that I didn't already hc to some extent which makes sense LOL. It did give me 'Ph collects badges' which is like 🤨🤨🤨 okay ig. Fun experience though.

OH YK WHAT it did give me acts of service Pudding Cup. Which I was actually recently been thinking abt already bc of the silly baka backstory I gave her 😭😭😭 taking so much care of her younger brother influences how she expresses care for other people real???? So that was cool.

.....okay this is a long ass tangent LMFAO sorry but anyway I kept going down the rabbit hole and asked it questions abt NC and Dragon AU and it was so fucking funny 😭😭😭 I only asked based on the info already online but fsr it didn't pull anything from Wattpad?? So it only had info based on what I upload to Tumblr but the thing is I don't say ANYTHING there. So ChatGPT proceeded to just make shit up LOL

I'm not sure what the thought process was for NC AU except that the AU name was def taken too literally 😭 it definitely took the AU out of its original context but I'm not really sure what the new context is. To me it read as some kind of post-apocolypse setting bc it talked about survival skills and journeys and the difficulty of the new world and how everything is chaotic and ambiguous which is WIIIILD. Lwk I'm being reminded of my stupid baka zombie AU fic from years ago but anyway

So first of all it actually included Yogurt as a character in the response but not Parasol for some reason? Which is like. Okay. It also said he takes on a mentor role for the younger members of the group 😭😭😭 dawg you ARE THE YOUNGEST MEMBER. Also Fire Axe was stated to be the leader of the group. Dragon AU wasn't as interesting the response was basically just like "it's OI but everyone is a dragon". It was funny but that's really it 🤨🤨🤨

TLDR fun experience but I think if I really wanted new headcanons with all the nuance that I imagine I'd have to be really specific with my inputs. And at that point I'd really much rather come up with hcs myself 😭😭😭 Okay tangent OVER

Ph Keiji Shinogi from YTTD 😁😁😁😁 I never draw Ph with short sleeves so this was very......interesting? 🤨🤨🤨 idk the word.

I think I've told this story before but my brother was the one who introduced me to YTTD back in 2021. The way he tried to get me to watch it was so funny bc he told me Ph is in the game. And I was like. What. And so I watched a playthrough and turns out what he meant by that was that one of the characters is a police officer. Keiji and Ph are barely alike bro they are two COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTERS 😭😭😭 He was using my fixation against me dawg

I think I can see him wearing smthn like this tbh but maybe with long sleeves. Why is it always long sleeves bru. #autism.

Saw this post on Tumblr and immediately thought of this guy 💀💀 having a conflict of values only to regret his decisions later is his canon event?!?!?! Actually this doesn't happen in Dragon AU. Yet 😈😈😈😈😈😈

But. Yeah. Particularly in canon/canon extension settings I feel like. Being manipulated like that and being forced to choose between two of his values and seeing the consequences of his actions really puts things into perspective for him. As it usually would 💀. He didn't deserve what happened to him it is OBJECTIVELY WRONG to use someone's need for attention and love against them but at the same time would he be the person that he is in say, NC AU if that never happened. Would he be able to recognize how the show turns contestants on each other for drama and how bad that is on his mental health bc he is ultimately a person of love. Would he keep looking for that love in places and people he shouldn't be looking in. Would he ever learn that he has to find fulfillment and love or at least acknowledge himself as an individual before he can truly love other people.

Thought experiment 😭😭😭😭😭 deep and weary sigh. I watch this therapist on Youtube play games (found him thru Slay the Princess lol but he's also why I ended up watching Mouthwashing) and in one of his videos he says "you can't change what happened to you but you can always change what it means to you". And like. Yeah 😭😭 Very much the case for Oreo. I have a lot of feelings about this guy. He's so awesome 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I mentioned Oreo listening to Taylor Swift in a previous chapter so I drew it. This song is so him 😭😭😭

Okay. Mood lightener incoming

😁😁...in one of the ep11 teasers Sandwich and PC were mentioned having an argument. So. Lol.

Another post I grabbed from Tumblr LOL. Smthn smthn hypersensitivity 😭😭😭 hashtaaaaaaaag autism!!!! Maybe that's why he wears only one kind of outfit ever. Let's hear it for sensory issuessssss 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

Okay actually I feel like maybe subconsciously to some degree I've always hc'ed Ph to have some kind of sensory issues. Highkey though that probably was me projecting ANYWAYS I did a little digging bc idk what counts as a sensory issue vs what's normal. Results are kind of inconclusive 🤨🤨🤨 I hear a lot abt how autistic ppl can have issues so bad it causes meltdowns or actual pain but it doesn't have to be that bad to be considered a sensory issue. Like it could just cause mild-moderate discomfort and masking is also a factor but at that point where's the line 😭😭 when is it bad enough to be considered a neurodivergent thing. Research feels like hell sometimes dawg 😭😭😭😭 okay tangent over my bad gang

3/19/2025

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ALMOST BEEN A WEEK fuck my life man 😭😭😭😭 oh it's Spring Break I'm gonna draw so much yippee!!!! ^_^ no. Fuck you. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Anyway HI!!!!!! Yes I did turn in my assignment on time on Sunday. Also I read DOGMAN!!!!!!!! I was Not expecting there to be as much social commentary as there was. Clickbait??? AI??? Power abuse?!?!?! I'm pretty sure there were more but those are the 3 most prominent in my head.

Also yes I Did cry. General indicator of good media for me 😭😭😭😭 deep and weary sigh. Orange cats are sleeping in my soul. I did debate drawing some Dogman for this chap to accompany this section but I was already fixed on drawing OI so I'll save it for another time. I already have a chapter in mind where I'll have room to slot in a few Dogman pieces so. Lol.

PH FAM!!!!!!!!!! His sibling's reaction when he tells them he's bi and poly and aspec and autistic 😭😭😭😭😭😭 They haven't talked to each other in YEAAAAAAARS they're both so different from how they remember each other. I think they had a feeling tho bc if they found Ph again via watching OI then surely they saw him having gay subtext on main 😭😭😭😭  LOL.

Heh. Uses my angst laser

I was thinking about how Ph would've grown up knowing he has a sibling but also basically being an only child bc she was just Gone. Living in the shadow of someone he barely remembers. All he knows is that he shouldn't be like her. Whoever her is. FUCK 😭😭😭

Sigh. I think a lot of his feelings about all of that are just subconsciously repressed too. Growing up feeling like smthn is missing. Some resentment and bitterness for being made to grow up this way. I also think even if/when he's made aware of these feelings/why he grew up the way he did it's not gonna dramatically change his behavior bc all of this is just part of who he is. It's more being self-aware of why he is the way he is 🤔🤔🤔 let's hear it for self-discovery and realization chat

Hoooooopefully this all makes sense and is coherent bc I'm running on 3 hours sleep rn. Lol.

Okay switching gears. Coco moment 😁😁😁😁😁😁 him and his gnc ass parents. Btw idk if I've ever explicitly mentioned this but his real name is like. Chocolate Pudding. Coco is a nickname 😁😁

Person with him is just a friend, I didn't draw anyone in particular 🤔🤔 they came out kinda cuter than I expected tho ^_^

Btw I'm gonna be absolutely deranged (talking abt domestic married life and raising children) for the rest of this chap so prepare yourself. My comfort characters 😭😭😭😭

On that topic. Lol. I think initially when they all get married (giggling kicking my feet the M WORD!!!!!!) Oreo's kinda in disbelief bc he's for sure fantasized about being married before. Just like in general. And now ur telling me he's not only married to one, but TWO people who love him as much as he loves them???? Despite all the shit that's happened between them!?!!? Chat are you fr?!?!?!?!? So he's just like. Wow........... I think PC and Ph are in a similar situation but for them it's more like they never really expected their lives to turn out this way. PC was never interested in dating much less marriage and Ph just never gave it a lot of thought. "How did we get here" type aaa 

Uses my angst laser again ANYWAY

Okay time for me to be deranged. I think when Coco was just el wiwi he'd brag so much about having 3 parents 😭😭 very kid thing to do I feel. But as he got older into his teen years ye olde Rebellious Teen Spirit started kicking in. Which doesn't really pair well when one of ur parents is a cop and overall more rule-strict than your other parents 😭😭😭😭 So some frustration builds up over time and gets accentuated by the idea that Ph isn't even his biological dad so why does he get to tell him what to do 😭😭😭 hence the pic above.

And for Ph this is literally the worst case scenario this is legitimately Devastating bc at this point in his life he's definitely aware of how his parents affected his sibling which affected him. And ever since he became a dad he's been worried about making the same mistakes 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but at the same time yes of course he's going to try to manage this teenager bc he doesn't want his son to get involved in dangerous activities!!!!!!! PC and Oreo have always been good balances for his tendency to give structure to everything but when the parenting dynamic leans toward Ph as the decision-maker he's gonna try to enforce things that keep his son safe. Which in turn causes the frustration I mentioned earlier bc Coco just wants to be a Teenager like his other friends (btw I do think peer pressure plays some part in this. I think initially he was hesitant abt pushing back against his parents due to how he was raised (he loves his parents really 😭😭😭) but his peers started questioning his family dynamic (in particular how Ph isn't his bio dad) which made Coco go like. Hm. Just a lot of little things that build up over time)

jesus. Okay and basically when Coco ends up exploding at Ph, Ph is internally like. Oh all of my worst fears are coming true. I'm awful and terrible at being a dad. At this point Oreo and PC intervene to give Coco space and talk to Ph to see what they can do. And basically they agree on changing the parenting style to fit more to PC's model which is 'let the kid walk on his own and make mistakes (but don't let him fuck up his life)'. AKA the same model she raised Yogurt on LOL. Which in fairness is a fine line to walk and lwk still worries Ph AND Oreo. Ph because this is New and he's not used to it and Oreo bc this guy knows a thing or two about making mistakes 💀 So there's some alarm bells going off in his head 😭😭😭 but their kid needs to grow up and learn somehow right.

PC and Oreo also go talk to Coco to make sure he's calmed down and to let him talk abt his feelings and frustrations. And once they confirm he's ready to talk (and apologize!!!!) to Ph they all talk together abt what's gonna happen moving forward. Parenting (said the single 20 yr old)!!!!!! 😁😁😁

^_^ being deranged pt 72 billion say hi to Pom Beanie. AKA Policecup kid. LOL. Technically she's not actually a beanie bc of the pom string....thingies hanging down from her sides but I call her a beanie anyway bc 1) CUTE NICKNAME 🥺🥺🥺 and 2) beanie like....vanilla bean....like vanilla pudding......... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

She's actually based on an old winter hat that I have 😭😭😭 idk why I chose a pom beanie of all things though. I know she's a hat bc of Ph but idk what the rest of my thought process was. I think I pulled the PC influence from the aesthetic??? That doesn't make a lot of sense either but I think 'blue and white/cream = wintery colors' was definitely a part of it. Which then inspired the winter theming.

I think she's a blonde hair blue eyes mfer 😭😭😭 or maybe black hair blue eyes like Ph idk. However comma her eyes have yellow undertones and are lighter than Ph's probably. I imagine she's fairly introverted and quiet....she might also have the tism I'm ngl LOL.

Also. Okay LOL in my head she is a planned child. Coco was Not 💀💀💀 Pudding Cup initally never expressed interest in kids and she didn't really think she's a motherly type anyway (ironic considering she raised her brother 😭😭). They all had an explicit talk abt it early on (remember kids communicating with ur partners is important) so Oreo and Ph respected her decision. I think Oreo was the one to initiate that talk btw bc he's def fantasized abt raising a family 😭😭😭 so he was a little bummed but it wasn't that big of a deal in the end.

And then Coco happens and it's like. Oh shit. Fsr I imagine this freaked Ph the hell out bc 1) they explicitly had a talk abt this so it's like. Hello??? 2) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT TO USE PROTECTION and then PC tells him to chill tf out she's the one who's pregnant not him. Lol. Fuuuuck my stupid deranged ass WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS. HELLO.

I'm not sure what exactly the age gap is between Coco and Beanie but it's definitely significant. At least 5 years. But also tbh I've been imagining it as she comes sometime after Coco's blowup at Ph. The whole "you're not my real dad" thing really did a number on him even if he probably doesn't admit it at first bc he doesn't want to sound selfish or jealous + rationally he knows he's as much of Coco's dad as Oreo is 😭😭😭 I think PC/Oreo eventually notices something's bothering him so they're like. Hey.

It's so weird to me how ppl have siblings who are so much older/younger than them though bc most of my siblings are like 1-3 years apart in age from me. The furthest is 7 years from me. And you're telling me people have siblings with age differences of more than TEN YEARS???? It's just insane to me 😭😭  but anyway.

Hi did you know drawing overlapping parts is actually hell on Earth. I was struggling so bad I had to turn off the video I had in the background (also bc it was getting too loud for me I gen went into sensory blocking mode for a few seconds) and I just drew in silence for like. I wanna say 1-2 hours. Maybe 3? Very peaceful!

Anyway I got inspo from these cats on Tumblr and a reblog was like "pick a pose and draw your blorbos snuggling" and I just HAD to. Turns out cat poses don't translate well to human poses. Or maybe they do and I wasn't trying hard enough 💀whatever!!!!! Kit tries drawing a pose she's never drawn before and struggles pt 9 million. They turned out pretty okay though ^_^ my CUTIES

Btw. Progress update on object OCs. I'm 6/20 done 😭😭 I started this at the TAIL END OF FEBURARY. I think I just need to lock in and get them done over break bc if I wait for until I feel like drawing them over OI we're gonna be here a LONG time. I might also not even do all 20 tbh I've been considering dropping some of them 😞😞😞 idk though. They're my BABIES!!!!! I hate dropping OCs bc it's like. Well what am I gonna do with this person I made up in my head now. They don't have a home anymore. What the fuck. But we'll see what happens.

Okay I think that's it. My phone is abt to die LOL OKAY BYE